A/N: I just wanted to thank everyone for being so patient with me as I tried to sort out what I wanted to do with this story. I really appreciate those of you who've kept reading. I think the hard part is over with now, so things should start to flow more smoothly from here on out.

I did want to make one comment on how weird it is to be writing a story where Shepard and Garrus are already together (as opposed to Parallel Lives).

Anyway, I hope everyone enjoys this update. Sorry it's been so long in coming. Please don't hesitate to tell me what you think and don't forget to check out my blog (jamiepage19(dot)com), because I talk about this story from time to time.

Tootles! ~J

A reluctant truce formed between her and Kaidan. Though Shepard still wasn't happy about his presence—not to mention his new position of XO—she agreed to put aside her feelings of resentment and anger in order to maintain the peace and continue on with the mission.

It was an okay idea in theory, but on a ship like the Normandy, there were only so many places either of them could go before they ran into each other. It got to the point where she would time her trips to the mess hall so she could avoid him entirely and they usually kept their interactions to clipped one-worded answers when they did come in contact with one another.

Perhaps the hardest thing of all was keeping up the appearance of professionalism around the crew, when all she wanted to do was scream at him and tell him to get the hell off her ship. She hated the feelings his being there stirred up in her. On a good day she would be angry with herself for harboring such ill will toward a person who was once a valued and trusted member of her team, and on others she would mentally berate him for turning his back on her after she died and the way he'd treated her on Horizon.

And then there was the whole incident at the Eternity Lounge on Illium. There was no way either of them would be forgetting that any time soon. Once the Collectors had been defeated and it was clear that she wasn't just a puppet that Cerberus could do with as they pleased, Kaidan had changed his tune. He even had the audacity to suggest they try to pick up the pieces of their broken relationship and get back together. Garrus had been with her that night and when Alenko noticed the changed in the turian's demeanor, jealousy had quickly taken over.

It was amusing now to replay the scene in her mind, because at the time she and Garrus were still grappling with their unspoken feelings. When Kaidan lashed out, accusing her of slumming with the ex C-sec officer, she had lost control and hit him. It wasn't until Garrus physically pulled her away that she came back to her senses and calmed down. Funnily enough, it was that simple action that ended up bringing her and the turian together, so in a way she guessed she had Kaidan to thank for that.

Garrus was, as always, her unwavering pillar of strength. He had every right to gripe about Kaidan being back on the Normandy, but he didn't. He chose to take the high road instead of resorting to immature games and antics to assert his dominance, and that made Shepard love him all the more. If they did happen to run across each other, Garrus regarded him with cool civility and refused to rise to the bait when Kaidan pushed him, which thankfully wasn't often.

Ultimately things settled into somewhat of a routine and several weeks passed by uneventfully enough, until one morning Shepard found an email from Councilor Anderson sitting in her inbox that sent her heart into her throat.

Shepard,

The last few days have brought about many changes. I need you to come to the Citadel immediately.

Anderson.

She grimaced and then immediately felt guilty. Anderson had been more than a commanding officer to her; he'd been a friend and a mentor. But lately it seemed that everyone affiliated with the Alliance had their own agenda, and she couldn't help the trickle of apprehension that slid down the length her spine as she wondered what he wanted this time.

With a deep breath she walked to the cockpit and told Joker to set a course for the Citadel.

XXX

"Hey. I've been looking for you everywhere. Joker says that we're making an emergency stop at the Citadel?"

Shepard turned at the sound of Garrus' voice and attempted a weak smile, but it came out as more of a tired grimace than anything else. He was leaning rakishly against the doorway of her cabin, and in any other instance she would have found his stance sexy as hell, but right now all she could think of was Anderson's cryptic message.

He pushed off the wall and came forward, pointing at her forehead as he walked toward her. "Are you okay?" he frowned. "Your eyebrows are doing that thing they do when you're brooding."

She laughed, but like her earlier smile, it completely lacked the spirit it usually held.

"Everything's changing, Garrus," she said with a heavy sigh. "A part of me knew that this would happen eventually, but it still doesn't make it any easier to accept."

"I know one thing that will never change," he said, pulling her into his embrace. "No matter how crazy things get, I'll always be here for you."

She snuggled against him and closed her eyes, wanting nothing more at that moment then to relish in the feeling of his warm touch rather than to think about having to tell him that he wouldn't be joining her on the Citadel.

"I don't know what I would do without you," she said.

"Sure you do," he replied with a confidence borne of the years they'd known each other. "You'd rush in there with guns blazing like you always do."

This time when she laughed it was full of love and adoration for the turian.

Her turian.

She stepped back and tucked a strand of her black, shoulder length hair behind her ear. What she was about to say next was suddenly made all the more difficult by the conversation they'd just had.

Garrus sensed her hesitation. "What's wrong?"

"I need you to sit this one out," she told him, holding her breath as she waited for his inevitable argument.

The twitch of his mandibles was the only indication that he didn't really like the idea; otherwise he remained quiet and unmoving. Shepard found herself tripping over her tongue as she attempted to fill the silence.

"I don't like it any more than you do," she assured him. "But I have to bring Kaidan along this time, for several reasons that I'm not really okay with. But that's life right? What else can I do?" she rambled. "Besides, I think its best right now if you stayed on the Normandy. I'd feel better with someone I trust in charge while I'm gone anyway."

Finally he smiled in his usual charming way and she sighed in relief.

"If you're worried about me being the jealous type, just because Kaidan gets to go along this time, don't be," he laughed. "Territorial maybe, but not jealous."

"Is there a difference?" Shepard joked, feeling some of the tension in her shoulders start to melt away. Garrus always had a knack of saying the right things to make her feel better. She pulled the corner of her mouth in as she pretended to think about it. "Makes me wonder what you'd be like riddled with jealousy. Might just have to see that some time."

She let out a high pitched squeal as Garrus growled and reached for her, crushing her against him as he brought his mouth to her neck and gently nipped at her exposed skin.

"Garrus!" she half-heartedly protested. "I have to go."

"Five minutes."

"Five minutes?" she exclaimed. "No way!"

She meant it in the way that they didn't even have that much time, but Garrus ignored her, pushing her down onto the mattress with an exaggerated roll of his eyes and a loud sigh.

"Fine. Twenty. But only because you insisted."

She laughed and threw her arms around his neck, caving into his request. She never was really good at arguing with him anyway, and twenty minutes wouldn't hurt.

XXX

"I won't be gone long," she said to him in the airlock. Behind her Kaidan sighed in annoyance and shifted his weight from one leg to the other. Shepard did her best to ignore him and focus instead on the turian in front of her. "You're in command until I come back."

Garrus nodded silently and flashed the man standing next to her a look of warning before he turned and closed the door to the airlock. She waited a few seconds as a nagging feeling of foreboding tickled her inner conscious, and then she set out for Anderson's office with Kaidan and Tali bringing up the rear.

The quarian tried her best to make idle conversation along the way, but her exuberant efforts fell on deaf ears as Kaidan politely refused to engage her in anything more than one or two word answers.

It saddened Shepard to think that two years ago the three of them had been laughing and bantering happily during every mission. Where once there was friendship and a sense of camaraderie, now there was only the bitterness of hurt feelings and wounded pride.

Of course, Tali knew nothing of the contention between Shepard and Kaidan, and so she didn't understand why he was so reluctant to share what he'd been doing since the last time they were all together. Eventually she got the message that he didn't want to talk and the three of them continued on in silence.

When they arrived at the door to Anderson's office, Shepard felt her heartbeat quicken when she saw that Admiral Hackett was there too. The last time the three of them were together in the same room, things didn't go so well. She swallowed her apprehension and masked her features before her crew could pick up on how conflicted she really was.

Anderson wasted no time. As soon as she stepped through the door he jumped out of his chair and came around the desk to meet her.

"Shepard," he said gruffly. "Glad you could make it here on such short notice."

He nodded at Alenko, who returned it respectfully.

"What's all this about? It sounded urgent."

"There's no real way to sugarcoat it, so I'm just going to come out and say it. The Alliance is convening back on Earth on the matters regarding the mass relay. You are to report to them immediately for your trial."

"I'll tell Joker to plot a course there as soon as I get back to the Normandy then," she said.

There was no sense in hiding from the inevitable. Maybe once the trial was over and done with, and she had defended her actions, things would go back to normal and she could relax and not worry about it so much.

"I'm afraid not, Shepard," Hackett said gravely. "I've been ordered to take you into custody and escort you there myself."

"What? Right now?"

He nodded. "You're colleagues can report back to the Normandy and wait for further instruction. Alenko?"

"Yes sir?" Kaidan said, his back going ramrod straight.

"As the XO, you are to officially assume command of the Normandy in our absence."

"Yes sir."

"Dismissed."

Shepard watched helplessly as Kaidan saluted and then left the office. Tali lingered for a minute and then followed him out with her shoulders slumped.

Hackett turned to her and said, "Come with me, Commander."

XXX

Never in her life had Shepard felt as nervous as she did right now. Sure, she had gone up against Saren, the collectors, and even managed to take down a reaper, but this time her entire military career was at stake. She was more used to being commended than she was being reprimanded and the thought of the upcoming trial made her stomach queasy.

In the back of her mind she wondered how Garrus and the rest of the crew had reacted to the news that she wasn't returning to the Normandy. She imagined the turian was tearing out the bulkheads by now and taking all out his anger and worry on Kaidan. She almost felt sorry for the biotic…almost.

Dressed in her military best, with Admiral Hackett at her side, Shepard walked into a large windowed chamber, determined to hold her head up high regardless of the outcome. The room was nearly filled to capacity with people who wanted in on the trial of the century. A group of four board members, all in their dress blues, sat behind the raised desk situated right in front of the tall windows overlooking the Vancouver cityscape.

"Lieutenant Commander Nikole Shepard," the woman with blonde hair pulled back into a severe bun said as soon as the approached. The nameplate on her chest said 'Miller'. "You have been brought before the Systems Alliance Board of Inquiry to defend your actions against the batarian race. You stand accused of destroying the Alpha relay with the full knowledge that over 300,000 innocent lives would be lost as a result. How do you plead?"

Shepard glanced at Hackett. He gave her a slight nod.

"I have never denied or tried to hide from the fact that so many batarians lost their lives in that explosion," she began. "It was not a choice I made easily, but I promise you that their sacrifices were not in vain. We stopped the reapers from entering the system from dark space. Their plan was to use the Alpha relay to invade the rest of the galaxy. If that had happened, I assure you, we wouldn't be standing here having this conversation now."

"I would ask that you keep all conjecture out of this and stick to the facts, Commander Shepard," Miller said flatly.

"I tried to warn the colonies, tried to give the batarians a chance to evacuate, but Dr. Amanda Kenson had taken full control over the project base and sabotaged all of my efforts. I was barely able to escape myself."

"This was the deep cover operative that was mentioned in your report?" Holley, the dark-haired man sitting next to Miller, asked. "The one who was arrested in batarian space for terrorism?"

"Yes sir. Dr. Kenson had been indoctrinated by a reaper artifact her team found."

A murmur rose up from the crowd as they exchanged comments on the information Shepard had just revealed.

"If these beings—these reapers—are such a threat, then where is the evidence to back up your claims, Commander?" Miller asked. "You must have something."

"The evidence was strewn all over the Citadel. It took C-Sec a year to clean up the mess that Sovereign's destruction left."

"Sovereign?" The tone in Holley's voice was full of skepticism.

"Sovereign was the reaper that attacked the Citadel—Saren's flagship, if you will," she clarified.

A confused frown settled over Miller's features as she shuffled through the collection of papers and datapads spread out in front of her. "According to the reports from the Citadel Council, Saren Arterius allied himself with the geth, and it was one of their ships that were recovered from the ruins of the Citadel Tower. They made no mention of a reaper."

Shepard stifled a sigh. Not this again. She thought they were past all that and that she'd finally managed to convince the Council. Bastards.

"So I will ask you again, Commander. Do you have any tangible evidence to support your claims about these so-called reapers?"

Her heart suddenly slid into her gut. They were asking her things that were impossible to provide. She had nothing concrete that she could put in front of the board that proved the reapers were real. Sovereign had been quietly swept under the rug, she had destroyed the collector base and all the reaper technology there, Object Rho had been annihilated along with the batarians, and she had lost the support of the Citadel Council. As far as the board was concerned, she was just blowing smoke up their asses.

"No," she replied quietly.

Another flurry of excitement ran through the onlookers as the four board members leaned into discuss their findings. Shepard opened and closed her hands nervously as her fate hung in the balance. Miller turned back to her, her lips set in a grim line as she placed her arms on top of the desk and laced her fingers together.

"Commander Shepard," she said with damning finality, "this Board of Inquiry finds you guilty of war crimes committed against the batarian race."

Shepard shut her eyes and waited for the rest.

"You are hereby relieved of duty and stripped of your command, and sentenced to six months in the brig. Once you have served your time, this board will reconvene to decide on whether or not to discharge you from the Systems Alliance. Bailiff, please take the defendant into custody."

The sound of the gavel dismissing the session echoed loudly around the open chamber, but to Shepard it sounded like it was hammering nails into her coffin. It may as well have been. She'd served in the military since she was old enough to enlist, following in both her parents' footsteps, and she had prided herself on her exemplary record. The boards' decision made her head spin.

The bailiff took her firmly by the arm and began to escort her from the chamber. She looked back at Hackett despondently as he led her from the room.

"I'm sorry, Shepard," he said sadly. "I'm sorry it's come down to this."

The disappointment she heard in his voice was almost too much to bear and she was actually grateful when they left the chamber, just so she wouldn't have to see his failed expectations of her anymore.

As they walked down the long hallway her thoughts traveled to Garrus and she imagined him waiting patiently on the Normandy for her return. The last thing she had said to him was that she wouldn't be gone for long. What would he think—what would he do—when he learned she wasn't coming back, and that there was a good possibility that she never would. A dishonorable discharge would mean that she'd have no reason to board the SR2 again.

Would his opinion of her change when he learned that she'd been stripped of command? Before they had been lovers they had been friends, and before were friends they had been comrades, soldiers uniting against injustice for a greater cause. Would he be disappointed in her as well? As a whole, turians were a highly militaristic race that based their entire hierarchy around serving in the armed forces. Hell, that was how they achieved citizenship on Palaven! With the loss of that common ground, would he still want to be with her? Just the thought of Garrus being ashamed of her was enough to weaken her spirit.

The bailiff opened the door to her cell—a small, dark room with one hard cot and not much else—and stepped aside to let her in. She walked in and sat down heavily on the pallet, running her hands over the rough blanket as she sighed. Only when the door clanged shut behind her and she was left alone did she let the tears of anguish fall over everything she had lost.