The Flashback Part 1: Freshman & Sophomore Years - Madge Undersee starts college and meets all different kinds of people, but it's the dark haired, grey eyed, boyish type that she's most drawn to.
A/N: So I decided to split the flashback up in half, notably because this half is almost eight thousand words, so I guess you guys get a little interlude in the middle of the story before we go back to present day! I hope you guys enjoy, I hope some blanks in the story right now are filled for you at least by the next update.
Freshman Year
At 18, Madge Undersee is full of dreams and ideals that she insists will come true. High school weighed her down and only made her eager to break free into the world around her, and college is where her life will change for the better. She's studying music (and minoring in business, after all she's not that delusional) hoping to pursue her passion and find a way to make money off of it, no less. It's all mapped out - study in college while taking internships to build her network and eventually start her own business or find somewhere that will let her perform.
Of course, she has other dreams too. Her eyes wander around campus, knowing that her future man is out there somewhere. She has enough confidence, knows she has options, but the man of her dreams isn't the type she'll meet while sleeping around and "just having fun." He's compassionate and he's in the dusty corners of the library, or the back table of the coffee shop waiting to be found.
Johanna Mason is the first person to burst her bubble.
"All the boys here are just that. Boys." Madge wants to ask how she knows that's true, and whether she's serious or not. She doesn't know how she finds herself outside their residence building, leaning against the old brick and watching Johanna smoke a cigarette, but she's intrigued and wants to know whether this nonchalance and wit is all for show or not.
"You'd expect them to make some massive change after high school, for them to become better people, but it doesn't happen. Maybe it's something in the water here, accelerates their testosterone production or something and fogs up their brains," the redhead jokes, and Madge laughs tritely. Johanna keeps a straight face, but Madge knows it's meant to be funny. She's convinced that half the reason Jo decides to hang out with her is because she laughs at all her jokes.
Her friend ashes her cigarette butt against the wall, extinguishing the ember, tossing it to the ground and pulling out her pack. For the second time tonight she offers Madge a smoke, but the blonde politely declines. She's just looking for a friend, not for a vice, and besides, addiction runs in her family.
Johanna cups her hand, shielding the wind from her lighter and pulling away once it's lit. "You know, I consider myself a sexually fluid person. I'll sleep with whoever, fall for whoever. But at this school? I can't. I'm now gay by circumstance."
Her humour is facetious, poorly timed and very sarcastic. But Madge knows she wants to talk to her more. She's the kind of person Madge wants to say she met in college, she's nothing like the pampered and polite kids she went to grade school with. Automatically they become friends. Madge is yet to figure out why Johanna spends time with an average girl like her, but she doesn't question it.
Well the truth is, she doesn't have time to, because Katniss Everdeen bursts her bubble again just a few days later in her Introduction to Business seminar.
It's a subtle burst. More like a nudge than a prick. Madge is listening to the professor's every word, taking vigorous notes and raising her hand when she has the chance. The lecture hall has over 500 students, there's no chance she'd get picked, but she recites every answer in her head when the professor picks someone else. She reviewed the course material over the summer and remembers it all quite well.
"Alright, we're starting easy folks," the professor insists, standing at the podium and looking out into the crowds of students. "Who can tell me the basic goals of a business? What does a business strive to do in all aspects? Brainstorm, think big."
The middle aged man starts to randomly pick students from the lecture hall, regardless of whether their hands are up or not.
"You. Any ideas?"
"Uh… maximizing profit?"
"Is that a question?"
"No sir."
"I'm not a sir, I'm a professor! Nevertheless, yes, maximizing their own profit. Good, we understand that everyone wants money. What else? You, in the front."
"Social benefit, professor."
"Yes, reputation is everything these days, isn't it? Companies need to have social responsibility, or else damn them to hell. You!"
"Pleasing shareholders."
"Sure, I'll take that. What about you here, penny for your thoughts?"
Madge is still taking notes, barely looking up when she realizes the professor is pointing at her, gesturing for her to speak up. She feels hundreds of eyes burning back at her, and she immediately panics. Everything she had reviewed goes out the door.
"Um… well I guess… social contract?"
"Could you speak up a little bit, please?"
Madge coughs, clearing her throat. "Businesses need to uphold a social contract with society."
"And what's your name, Miss?"
"Madge Undersee."
"Well, Ms. Undersee. Good to know you've been paying attention to your last few classmates, but that is practically the same thing as what we've mentioned! I want something new."
Her face burns up and she's never felt more humiliated. Of course she has to make herself look like an idiot in front of her professor and hundreds of classmates. She knows the answer, she just couldn't articulate it. Silently she racks her brain for another business objective, swearing it's in her mind somewhere when the professor moves onto someone new.
"Okay, you in the back! Brooding, on her phone. What do you think?"
Madge turns her head to look at the girl - pretty but dishevelled, and Madge silently shames her for not paying attention.
"Sorry, what was the question?" the dark haired girl asks, straightening up in her seat.
"A goal of a business, besides profit, social responsibility and pleasing shareholders," the professor reiterates. He doesn't seem annoyed, but Madge doesn't understand why.
The girl takes her time to think, and Madge just knows that she's stuck too. But just as she starts celebrating a little bit for not looking too stupid, the girl raises her voice.
"Innovation."
"Ah, very interesting," the professor nods, pleased with the word he's milked out of her. "Businesses are always looking to produce innovative product, something new to break through the markets, isn't that right Miss…"
"Everdeen. Katniss Everdeen."
And just like that, all of Madge's expectations about breezing through her classes and coming out on top are shaken into reality. She's a nervous wreck, and will have to try twice as hard to put herself out there no matter how much she studies. There are people like Katniss who only need to exist for people to love them, who are smart without putting in the effort.
Of course, the dark haired girl doesn't mean ill. Katniss runs up to Madge after class and apologizes for perhaps making her look bad. It's ridiculous, she did nothing wrong and has nothing to be sorry for. But Madge accepts her approach as an invitation, and Made likes to think that she walked away making another new friend.
Katniss turns out to be nice - really nice, actually. Neither of them are very outspoken or overt, but when they study together sitting in Madge's dorm room, she feels a strong connection to the girl. Katniss makes her comfortable and and she's incredibly driven. She's on scholarship, trying to make a better life for herself and her family.
It's Katniss who drags Madge to her first college party. It's at a fraternity house, somewhere grimy and crowded but there's something about the air and the music that make her feel more free, almost relieved to be here.
"I don't see any other freshmen," she shouts over the pounding bass, while Katniss walks through the house as if she's searching for someone. "How did you find out about this place?"
"My friend, he goes to school here too. He's in second year and he invited me out." Sounds like a date if Madge's ever heard of one.
"Are you sure it's okay I tagged along? I don't want to overstep or anything…"
"Madge, relax. It's just a house party, there's no guest list. Besides, Gale told me to bring a friend."
She wants to say that she's probably not what Gale's buddies are expecting when they say "bring a friend." Madge would never touch anyone in a place like this, at least not if they were a stranger, and her brain is more focused on the midterms that are coming up than mingling with fraternity brothers tonight.
But just as she nods in agreement, knowing she has to loosen up a little bit a voice comes booming in from down the hall.
"Catnip! Didn't think you were going to show."
Madge turns her head and sees where the voice is coming from, and he's a gorgeous boy. Tall and dark haired with the most captivating eyes she's ever stared into. He leans in to give Katniss a hug and Madge has to remember that he invited Katniss here, probably likes her too.
"Hey, Gale. This is Madge Undersee, she's in my business class."
"Nice to meet you, Undersee, I'm Gale Hawthorne," he grins, taking her hand and kissing the back of it, making her blush red. He's definitely had a bit to drink, because he's standing closer to her than he probably should. He towers over her and Madge is nervous.
That's the only interaction they share that night, but Madge notices him, and she'll definitely remember him. How could anyone forget his piercing grey eyes and angular, handsome face? She sees the way he talks to Katniss and the way they are together: relaxed and comfortable around each other in a way that shows he's definitely into her. Madge won't bring it up to her friend though, Katniss will come to her own realization in her own time.
It takes more time than expected for anything to happen between Katniss and Gale. Madge sees him around campus with various different girls, whispering in their ears and holding their hands. She doesn't judge him, because if she was more brave and confident she'd probably do the same thing. She's desperate for love at this point, or what she pictures love would be like. Her only qualm with Gale's dates is that she knows he likes Katniss and doesn't understand why he doesn't do something about it. Perhaps it's more complicated than that, but it seems rather simple to her.
So, because she's nosy and lives vicariously through everyone else's romance, she takes matters into her own hands and confronts Katniss.
"Do you like Gale?"
"What?"
"Do you like Gale as more than a friend?"
Katniss looks up from her textbook and stares at Madge as if she's speaking a different language. They're in her dorm room cramming Marketing, they have a huge exam coming up in a few days and both of them are set on giving it their all.
"No," she answers quickly, but then pausing to really think about it. "I don't know, I don't think I do."
"What does that even mean?"
"Do you think I like him?"
"You're asking me if I think you feel romantically attracted to Gale Hawthorne?" Madge questions in disbelief. But her friend just nods, knowing that she has an answer in mind anyway. "Yes. Well, I don't know. I can't speak for your emotions. But I think he likes you."
"Really?"
Katniss had told her all about her relationship with Gale. They've been friends since childhood and were always side by side. She just like Madge though; she hasn't dated that much or had too much experience with those emotions. So if she's oblivious, it makes sense.
"Hey, I'm not qualified in speaking for anybody, it's just what I've observed. You don't have to do anything about it if you don't want to."
And Katniss clearly does want to, and so does Gale. Madge doesn't prod into it to much though, because she doesn't want to meddle in anyone else's business. So she doesn't bother asking for a couple of months, going to classes and biting her tongue whenever she wants to tell Katniss to wake up.
Except one day she's sitting with Johanna in a coffee shop studying and chatting when her friend practically spews out her americano.
"Look, Madge. Look what you've done."
"What?" she asks confusedly, straining her head to get a better look. It's Katniss and Gale, awkwardly holding hands on the quad and walking together.
"Wow," Jo sighs. "That's adorably uncomfortable."
"What do you mean? I think it's cute."
"Sure, if there's something cute about an emasculated giraffe to you," she rebukes, making Madge snort with laughter. Gale just seems nervous, and that warms her heart because it also means he's really into her friend.
And all of that awkwardness goes away soon, because they actually start dating and they seem to go back to their normal dynamic of joking around and coexisting comfortably. Madge starts to see more of him in the hallways of her dorm, walking towards Katniss's room with a stack of movies or dinner.
Katniss and Gale become steady, soon months go by and it's the end of the second semester already. And Madge isn't concentrated on dating or romance right now, at least that's what she tells herself. College is a lot of handle, and plenty of people take their first year to put themselves together before they start searching for someone special. She knows that she shouldn't be so attached to that idyllic idea of romance, but she holds onto it no matter what Jo says.
One night she left the music building particularly late, she was practicing and composing a new piece for her final assignment when she sees Gale sat outside Katniss's room on the floor with a bag of food next to him. She's cautious to approach him, he looks tired and upset.
"Hey, Gale," she greets softly, trying not to startle him. He still flinches though, taking a beat before looking up at her and smiling back.
"Hey Undersee."
"What are you doing here?"
"Oh, Catnip and I do dinner on Wednesday's, but she isn't in her dorm I think. So I'm just waiting for her to get back."
"Katniss went home to visit her mom and her sister, I think," Madge recalls, staring sympathetically into his eyes. They're grey and so clear, and she knows it's wrong to think that her best friend's boyfriend is handsome but no person attracted to men would disagree with the fact.
"Fuck, are you serious?"
"Mhm," is all she can give him. She tentatively sits across from him on the floor, trying to give him company. Katniss is a forgetful person sometimes, but it sucks that she didn't remind him that she was going away for the end of the week. No one deserves that, but Madge knows she didn't mean ill.
She observes Gale as he rakes a hand through his tousled hair. Finally he looks straight across the hallway back at her, giving a silent thank you and acknowledging her care. "Well, are you hungry?"
"A little bit, I mean, why?"
"Because I have falafel for two people, it's still warm. We can eat it out here, I just don't want to waste it."
Madge thinks about it for a little bit, ignoring the growling in her stomach. "I don't know, isn't that kind of weird? Like, I'm eating the food you bought for your date or something?"
"I don't fucking know. You don't have to. Just, when I grew up we didn't have the money to think about those things. When we had food, we ate it, otherwise it was a waste."
He's not insinuating anything about her, just telling her about his life. And that's the first time she really learns something about Gale Hawthorne the person, not Gale Hawthorne the boyfriend of Katniss. Madge admires him for what he said, so she urges him to pass her a falafel bowl; they eat while chatting absentmindedly in the hallway.
"Are you doing anything this summer?" he asks conversationally.
"Yeah, I'm travelling with my parents, I think."
Gale raises his eyebrow, it's adorable. "You think?"
"My parents sort of control my life, so I don't know if they've made plans or not," Madge admits while shrugging. "What about you?"
"I'm working back at home."
"Oh? What kind of work?"
"I been doing mechanic work as a summer job since high school, so that's what I'll be up to."
"I take it Katniss will be back at your hometown too."
"Yeah, yeah, that's the plan," Gale nods. Madge doesn't bother to ask about how their relationship is doing, this is the first time she's really ever talked to the boy anyways, that would just be intrusive. But she knows that he's sweet and he's caring. She's glad that she met him in her freshman year.
The whole interaction was painfully platonic. But still, she wouldn't tell Katniss about it unless she asked.
Sophomore Year
He's the first person she bumps into when she's moving into residence in the fall. But while she's moving boxes in, he's moving boxes out of the building and they practically collide with each other.
"Woah, Undersee! Slow down," he chuckles, putting down his box and nodding up at her. He got tan over the summer, and clearly all that manual labour paid off in some sort of way, not that she'd ever tell him that.
"Sorry," she apologizes embarrassedly. "Hi, how was your summer?"
"Good, it's better to be back though," he admits. "Are you moving in next to…"
"...Katniss, yeah. I think we're beside each other. Funny that I'm the one moving closer to her, right?"
Even if it isn't, he laughs anyways. "Yeah, yeah." From what she's heard from Katniss, their relationship is doing just fine, the summer alone back at home probably helped.
"Are you moving out?"
"I'm renting an apartment with a friend of mine, also in third year. I just have some appliances and stuff that I left behind, so I'm bringing them over now."
"What's wrong with the dorms?"
"I like my privacy," he shrugs boyishly, then checking his buzzing phone. "Katniss is getting here soon. I'm going to go put this box in my car and help her unpack."
"Okay," she nods. "I'll see you around, though?"
"Definitely, see you later, Undersee," he fares, and Madge's stare barely lingers as he walks down the hallway.
And the year starts to normalize itself as the week roll along. She hangs out with Jo and Katniss, buries herself in her studies and rarely goes to parties. She just doesn't enjoy them - parties are all booming music and unnecessary socialization that she'd never want to commit herself to. Madge knows who her friends are and will stay by them instead, even if Johanna does enjoy the occasional night out.
Gale goes out a lot too, but he doesn't like it all that much either.
"I don't know, I feel kind of obliged too. It's like the college experience, or whatever," he explains as she stands in the hall with him, waiting for Katniss to come back from class.
"Okay, sure. Studying is also part of the college experience."
Gale chuckles and looks at her like she's a child who just said something naive, and she doesn't like it. "Keep telling yourself that, Undersee."
"Hi!" they hear from down the hall, and when they look over it's Katniss jogging over to greet them. When she approaches, she pecks Gale on the cheek and smiles, turning to Madge. "Hey Madge."
"Hey. I was just going into my room and I um, I saw Gale standing here and thought he could use some company," she blabbers, not really sure why she's making excuses for something she didn't even do.
"Okay," her friend nods, waving goodbye to her. Madge quickly retreats into her dorm, shaking the uneasy feeling from her bones and opening up her textbooks.
Classes are no different than last year. If anything they're more interesting because more of her courses are chosen. Her music program is flexible, so she's taking classes in jazz, classical and contemporary piano playing throughout the year. It means some late nights practicing in the private music rooms, but Madge loves it nonetheless and goes willingly, no matter what her parents think of her major.
One weekend her best friend from home comes to visit, and she loves showing Delly all around the campus and introducing her to all her friends.
"It's so awesome here," Delly exclaims as they walk through the quad. "If I went here I'd walk downtown everyday, go to a park to study, or a coffee shop..."
"It's not too late to apply for next semester," Madge reminds her, really just wishing she could see her best friend more often.
But Delly just shrugs, continuing to walk without making eye contact. "You know I can't."
"I know," she sighs, observing her friend's face carefully. "How's Eli?"
"He's good," she smiles with a hint of her regular positivity. "He just finished his second round of chemo. He's so strong."
Delly's 10 brother, Elijah, was diagnosed with leukaemia when the girls were in their final year of high school. With her mom between jobs and everything uncertain, suddenly all of Delly and Madge's joint plans of going to college together and being dorm mates and everything were forgotten. Delly was going to stay at home to take care of him, work a little bit and keep her home in check. And Madge went off by herself to school, perpetually missing her other half and wishing she was here with her.
"You're strong too, Dell," Madge reminds. "So strong."
"Thanks," she shrugs. Madge knows that Delly doesn't see it all the time, but she's such an incredible person who deserves everything she works for. Even though Madge's not around all the time to tell her that, she hopes that one day she finds someone who can.
"Have I showed you the library yet?" she asks, changing the subject and pointing to the gigantic building.
Delly shakes her head, so they go in. On the first floor Katniss and Gale are studying together, and they automatically wave when they see their friend approaching.
"Hey guys, this is Delly. My best friend from home."
Katniss is a bit withdrawn, smiling politely and saying hi, but Gale stands to join them and greets her proper.
"Hi, I'm Gale Hawthorne, nice to meet you."
"Delly Cartwright," she answers back, amused by his insistence to use full names. "Sorry to interrupt your studying."
"Don't worry about it, if you're friends with Undersee we're bound to like you too," he jokes, and Madge is almost surprised by how positively he sees her. Maybe he's just a nice person, he definitely is.
When they leave the couple alone and tour the rest of the study spaces, Delly keeps looking back at them sitting at their little table near the front.
"Why do you keep looking at them?"
She shrugs. "They seem really nice, I like Gale. Are they friends? Cousins, or..."
"Dell!" Madge accuses, laughing lightly. "Try boyfriend and girlfriend."
Her friend's eyes bulge in surprise. "Really?"
"Why, because they look similar?"
"No, not even that. I don't know. I just didn't get coupley vibes from them," she replies vaguely. Madge doesn't really get it, but maybe it's just because she's so used to the way Gale and Katniss act together. "I have no idea, though. It's probably just my premonitions," Delly adds. "I'm sure they're great together."
After a month or two though, Madge isn't so sure either, though. It's not like Gale and Katniss are fighting every waking hour of the day, but she just doesn't really see them having fun together like they used to anymore. Other people notice too, Johanna snickers about it one night in her dorm room. Madge came over to her friend's dorm and they're sipping on boxed wine in plastic cups and giggling their drunk asses off.
"They just slug around together. Have you even seen them look at each other in - I don't know - the past two weeks?"
Madge tries to recall but honestly can't, and it sets off another fit of guilty laughter. "I'm sure that they make eye contact, Jo."
Her friend stands by her point. "I'm not. Plus, whenever Everdeen's with him she just looks super bored. Like, dating him is a chore that her mother put her up to or something."
Jo is harsh, but she's right. It doesn't look like they're having fun anymore or connecting, and Madge sympathizes for the both of them.
Sometime in December she's writing her midterm papers with Katniss in her dorm when Gale knocks on the door. He greets them shyly, waving curtly at Madge and nodding at Katniss. He looks cute; he's wearing a button down shirt and did his hair.
"Hey, are you ready?"
"Ready for what?" Katniss asks, confused and caught off guard.
"To go out. It's Wednesday, I thought we could do something more special than just take out so I got us a reservation at the new sushi place. And there's a party at a student house, we could go afterwards."
His girlfriend sighs, running fingers through her hair and gesturing at her laptop. "I told you that I wanted to finish this assignment tonight, didn't I?"
"I don't remember you saying that."
"I did, and I honestly mean it, Gale. I'm so sorry, I just don't think I can afford the time to go out tonight. You can stay here if you'd like, but I also don't think I'll be a lot of fun right now. I'm stressed out as hell."
Gale stares blankly for a little bit in disbelief, and then nods in understanding. "Don't worry. I'll leave."
"Bye. Love you," she replies, waving him out.
"Love you too. Good luck with your assignment," he mumbles, leaving and closing the door gently.
Madge witnesses the whole awkward interaction passively, confused and a little shocked that it all just happened before her eyes. It's clear that they're having issues, Gale deserved more than just an excuse to satisfy the fact that he probably misses his girlfriend. And Katniss clearly has things going on that she hasn't communicated to him, and it's probably eating her up.
"That was kind of harsh," she whispers after a couple of minutes of silence, and Katniss barely looks up at her friend before rolling her eyes.
"It's fine. He hates going out anyways. I don't know why he insists on doing it every single week."
Katniss thinks she's doing this for him in a skewed kind of way, and Madge can't really wrap her head around it. Her best guess is that Katniss has a lot of other things left unsaid, and it just isn't translating well when it comes to complicated things like romance. Lately, they're friendship has been more of an acquaintance. They study together and hang out together, but they don't open up to each other the way that Madge can with Jo or with Delly.
That's why it comes as a surprise to her when she comes back from the winter holidays to hear the news - Katniss broke up with Gale after Christmas. According to Jo it was harsh, and he didn't see it coming.
The rumours are all confirmed when Madge doesn't see him hanging around the halls of their dorm anymore and she never sees them together anymore. It's sad because they were friends before they were anything else, and now they don't seem to be anything at all. Losing that kind of friendship is hard, Madge hopes that they get past the awkward tension and can go back to even a fraction of the friendship they had before.
But for selfish reasons, she'll also miss their little conversations in the hallways and their second-hand relationship. Gale is nice to her and he's so understanding too. Madge knows that sometimes he can be guarded or have strong opinions about people, but she's happy that he finds her at least bearable.
Madge bumps into him one day, literally, leaving the athletic complex. She just finished a run on the treadmill, it was one of her New Year's resolutions to keep in shape after all. But Gale has his earbuds in and doesn't see her when he's walking with his head down.
"Woah!" she exclaims when she barely dodges his line of attack, and Gale snaps out of his trance. "Watch where you're going a little bit, Hawthorne."
Gale carefully wraps up the cord of his earbuds and chuckles embarrassedly at his mindlessness. "Sorry, Undersee."
"Were you listening to your 'pump-up' music?" she laughs, jibing him jokingly.
"No I just- I um…" For once, Gale is flustered. It's a strange sight, but it warms her heart for some odd reason. "I'm sorry, really I am. Wasn't watching where I was going."
"Don't worry about it, I was just kidding around," she promises, accepting all of his profuse apologies with no hesitation. Madge pauses and wonders how long it's been since they've talked, it was well before the break, before the split… "How have you been doing?"
He shrugs and grimaces sardonically. "Why? Are you reporting back to Katniss?"
Madge lets out a noise of humour in disbelief that he would even think that. "No, I was just concerned about your wellbeing. As a friend." It's sad that he would think that, that she would prioritize petty drama over a good talk. "But sure, I guess I'm asking about her too."
"Well, did she tell you anything about it?" Madge shakes her head, so he continues. "It was over the phone, she had come back to school early and I was still at home. Said that she just couldn't date me like that anymore, said that the relationship was killing her, something like that."
Katniss was never perfect at articulating her thoughts into words, but even that seems particularly harsh. Madge grimaces at the thought of getting a call like that. She doesn't know why Gale is telling her this, she suspects that he doesn't have many other friends he can open up to about these kinds of things and he's kept it all in.
"Geez. That really fucking sucks. I'm sorry, Gale."
"But how am I doing? I'm okay. Going to the gym more, overthinking things less," he offers vaguely.
Despite the fact that he told her how Katniss broke up with him, he's still rather guarded. She reads it in his face that he's hurting, or confused or frustrated, but she doesn't bother to pry if he doesn't want to talk about it. Especially if he doesn't trust her.
So she does the only sensible thing she can think of - she avoids him.
Not actively, just enough to remember that he doesn't really want her around. Madge feels pathetic, because Gale probably hasn't even thought twice about the fact that they've been bumping into each other less, while she's obsessing over every little thing. She's still not sure why she thinks about him so much; for someone who plays such a small role in her real life, he sure does occupy a good part of her brain.
Until a couple weeks later when she's walking through the campus in the late afternoon from the music hall to the dorms.
"Undersee! Hey, Madge!" she hears from behind her, and because she knows that voice and never hears him call her by her first name, she has to turn around.
"Hey," she replies, smiling politely at Gale. He's with some of his friends, other third year's that she's seen around at his parties. When Madge looks at his face, he's staring at her eagerly like he's been waiting to see her all week, and it brings heat to her chest that spreads up to her cheeks.
"It's been a while," he states plainly, and they both know it's true.
"Yeah," she agrees, deciding to be honest. "I just don't know where we stand right now, you know? Ever since Katniss…"
"Broke up with me?" he laughs, but he doesn't sound bitter. She assumes that by the end of the relationship Gale didn't think their romance was worth holding onto either, he's probably just bitter at the way she did it. He takes those things seriously, not being an asshole and all that. So she nods in response, and he shrugs back. "Who cares. I thought we were above all that stuff," he says, and it almost makes her breath catch but she keeps her composure. It's such a juxtaposition from the hurt and defensive guy who ran into her at the gym.
"Above what?" she asks for clarification, but all he does is shrug as it he doesn't know what he means either.
"I miss you." Madge just about screams right then and there, but she holds it in as Gale keeps talking. "Let's hang out, do you have time right now?"
"Yes," she answers quickly, and then she looks over at his friends chatting casually in the back. "What are you doing?"
Gale's face changes into something mischievous and then he chuckles. "You don't have to if you don't want to. Really, we could split up from them and go to hang somewhere else…"
"No, tell me," she laughs, more curious than before.
"Undersee," he starts. "Have you ever smoked a joint before?"
Her whole head is swimming yet perfectly clear at the same time. Like, she's hyper aware of everything she concentrates on but completely oblivious to everything else. Madge had tried to smoke before, but she had mostly just ended up sitting there feeling no effects while her friends got all loopy; apparently, she hadn't been doing it right.
But right now she's gone. She's sitting across from Gale in someone else's dorm room and there are a couple of people with them, but she pays them no attention. Her eyes are locked on Gale's and when she looks into his grey, grey eyes for long enough she just wants to dive into them.
"Woah," she laughs, giggling at the loss of control.
Gale chuckles. "Yup. Woah is right."
"Thank you for inviting me to… this," Madge says awkwardly, feeling grateful but having a hard time grasping the words to express it.
"Sure, of course. I'm happy you're here. 'Cause you're cool, Undersee. I miss seeing you around the dorms and stuff like that," Gale admits. She knows people react differently to being high, but she doesn't know how Gale is so composed and chill when her own brain is hyperactive and her train of thought is so jumpy. He seems just like himself, but maybe a bit more relaxed, a little more honest.
His words cause her to blush profusely, but she hopes he doesn't notice. "You're cool too."
"Hawthorne!" his friend calls at the door. "We're going to get some food down the street. Do you two want any snacks?"
Gale nods at Madge and asks. "I'm good. But do you want anything?"
Suddenly her stomach feels like an endless pit and she's craving anything. She thinks for a little bit and then nods. "Salt & Vinegar chips."
"Okay, got it. You two be good," the guy snickers as he leaves the room with a couple others.
It's just the two of them now, and even when the insinuation of the two of them doing anything physical in here has her blushing evermore, it's definitely not like that. Gale is her friend, someone that just broke up with her best friend and he's off limits, even if her drugged brain likes to ogle him more than it should.
"How are you doing?" he asks when his friends are long gone, just checking in with her. "Feeling okay?"
"I feel awesome," Madge nods. She likes the idea of Gale taking care of her, even if it's something like this. "Are you feeling okay?"
"I'm a lot better than I think I should be," he replies, and suddenly they're not talking about the effects marijuana anymore. "I think… I think I was upset because it happened, but I'm realizing now that this is good for me."
"You're talking about Katniss and-"
"Of course," Gale chuckles. "What else would I be talking about, Madge?"
"I don't know," she admits coyly. "So… you feel good now."
"Yeah, I do. And maybe I'm just fried, but I just feel like I can be a new person now, you know? It's so fucking nice to just relax."
"Did Katniss not let you-"
"Oh no, she was fine about it. She just didn't like it much herself, so I figured that I could just stop because I didn't need it. I mean, it's pot, it isn't like I ever smoked everyday or was addicted or anything. I don't even think that's possible," Gale rambles, and Madge doesn't even call him out for cutting her off when she's so curious to listen to his brain. "This is the second time since Christmas, I think. I'm not a stoner."
"I wouldn't think any less of you if you were," Madge reassures, and Gale smiles back in response.
"You're sweet as hell, Undersee. You're really nice," he muses, it seems like a thought more than an actual compliment, but she eats it right up nonetheless.
They fall into a routine after that day. The routine mostly just consists of Madge acknowledging him again, they say hi and exchange small conversations when they pass each other on campus. If anything, half the routine is an internal allowance for her to think about him all the time. She used to put those thoughts away and never dwell on them, but now she lets her mind wander and she lets herself stare at his face for longer than she would've.
They hang out alone a couple times too, mostly with other people and always off campus. Even if she could pass the whole relationship off as platonic, Madge doesn't know how she would explain herself if Katniss saw them hanging out together. She's still trying to figure out the right words to say, and who knows, if nothing happens between her and Gale than she won't have to say anything.
But then towards the end of the year, he asks her to go out with him. Gale drops the idea casually, bringing it up the day before and passing it off as nothing. But the idea makes her heart race, so she easily obliges.
"Wow, he really is trying, isn't he?" Jo comments when Madge tells her the news.
"Trying what?"
"To win you over," she shrugs casually. "You should go. I have the perfect dress for you, I'll doll you up and everything."
The dress is an emerald green shimmery slip, it's barely any fabric but it's not too tight at all, falling loosely to her upper thighs. It's just outside of her comfort zone, Madge feels a bit sexy in it and loves the way Gale looks at her when she's in it.
"You look good," he puts simply as they walk down the city streets. He keeps glancing at her legs, and Madge blushes.
"Thanks. Where are we going, exactly?"
"Do you know Fiction? The..."
"...night club? Yeah, I know it. I've never been."
"Shit, you aren't 21 are you?" he recognizes anxiously while running a hand through his hair. "I didn't think that through."
"It's okay. I have a fake," she remembers, opening her purse to make sure she brought it.
Gale raises a brow. "You do?"
"Yeah, Jo had it made for me. It was my birthday present last year or something," she explains, and both of them laugh. "I haven't really used it, I guess it comes in handy now."
"Thank God for Johanna Mason."
Madge chuckles and couldn't agree more. "You can say that again."
"I feel bad though, you know? Pulling you to smoke with my friends. Taking you out to a club. I don't want you to get the wrong idea about me."
"It's fine," she insists, honestly that thought hadn't even crossed her mind once. "What else is there to do in college, right?"
"I just didn't know if you'd be into it," Gale admits. "I'm surprised that you are."
"I'm just into you," Madge scoffs, with a bit more bravery. Gale spins his head around and stares, surprised by her announcement. "You aren't ruining me, and I definitely could've been into it anyway. Don't worry Gale, you didn't make me."
Gale stares at her with a glint of something else in his eyes, speechless. She's scared she said something wrong for a second, waiting for a clear reaction or something to tell her how to act. And then he looks forward, smirking and signalling to turn on the sidewalk. After a few more moments, he speaks.
"Of course I didn't make you. How could I have?"
So that's their agreement, and Madge smiles proudly all the way to the club. The whole night they dance and laugh, they order a couple drinks and talk to other club goers. There aren't any other students from the college, or even if there were it's too dark for them to be recognized anyway. So for a few hours Madge just relishes in the feeling of the two of them alone, only surrounded by energy and that ambient buzz you can't get out of your ears.
Afterwards they take a cab back to her dorm, Gale says that he can walk the few minutes back to his place. But the summer air is still warm so she insists that they stay outside for a while longer, Madge really just doesn't want to part ways after one of the best nights of her life.
When they're sitting on a bench outside the residence, they're both still buzzed and laughing at every other word.
"I can't believe this stupid thing worked," she laughs, waving around the fake I.D.. "The bouncer barely checked."
"Hey, don't be mean to it. It did you well," Gale chuckles.
"Whatever. I won't need it next year anyway."
"You're right." Now he's looking at her deeply and thoughtfully. "Thanks for coming out with me tonight, Undersee."
"Of course, I had a lot of fun," she nods, smiling and brushing back a piece of hair.
"I had a lot of fun too."
Gale seems like he still wants to say something or do something because his mouth is just slightly parted. Madge doesn't tend to read signs often, but she takes a leap of faith and presses her mouth against his.
Instinctually his arms move to hug her waist, and Madge's move to around his neck, touching his soft hair and running her fingernails over his scalp. They kiss slowly and purposefully, it's late enough for no one to walk by them anyway but they can't help but jump apart when there's a rustling from the bushes behind them.
Gale brings a hand up and cradles her face and slowly grazes her lips with his thumb. Her heart is racing so quickly it might just jump out of her chest so she tries to stay still while he stares at her mouth.
"I want you so fucking much," he whispers, but the words barely slip out before Madge silences him with another soft kiss.
"Me too," she admits against his lips.
They want to do more and go into her dorm, but Madge knows they shouldn't. Not now, not when the night's already been so magical. Not when Katniss is asleep next door, and as much as Madge wouldn't like to admit, there are still open wounds that are not dealt with on that front. So they part with a couple more kisses that only imply anything more, wandering hands and suggestive whispers that make her shiver.
She's about to get up and walk right back into her residence before Gale pulls her down again.
"Listen, Undersee - Madge," he corrects, laughing at himself a little bit for sticking to old habits. "I know this is happening really fast, I just want you to know that I'm on board, and if you think I'm moving on you too quickly it's because I like you, a lot. No jokes."
"Okay," she nods, finding comfort in his words of reassurance. "It's fast but it's good. It doesn't feel rushed."
"I feel the same way," Gale exclaims, seeming glad that they're on the same page. His face softens from excited to adoring, tugging her hands so that she veers closer to his body. "I'll see you around this summer, right?"
"Yeah, we're both doing summer school," Madge reminds him. "Should be loads of fun."
"We can make it fun," he suggests, and she supposes that she should laugh if only he'd stop staring at her lips in that way. The kind of way that makes her want to climb on top of him and let him do all the dirty things he whispered in her ear.
Instead, she presses a last kiss against his lips, a softer one that is less of an act of passion and more of an act of promise.
"Goodnight, Gale," she whispers.
He nods and smiles. "I'll see you around."
Madge glances back at him when she walks through the doors into the building. Gale sits on the bench for a little while longer by himself, smiling boyishly and contently before sauntering away.
He's so good. So good and so caring and so gorgeous and Madge just can't wait for the summer to roll along because her heart hasn't stopped fluttering since he met up with her this afternoon, and she wants to feel that way forever.
A/N: Next week is much more fluff, much more angst. I hope you guys like it. :) If you liked this one please leave me a review telling me what you think! They honestly get me through the day and get me writing faster and better, so please take the time if you have it.