The Bennets had invited Mr. Bingley and his party to a large dinner at Longbourn several days after the assembly. Darcy felt unusually awkward as he entered the red brick manor. He would find an opportunity to apologize to Miss Elizabeth. His honor demanded it.
The Bingley party arrived fashionably late due to Miss Bingley's delays, and Mrs. Bennet spent several minutes in a discourse on Mr. Bingley's virtues. By the time it was finished it was time for the guests to be seated for dinner.
Bingley had mentioned Miss Bennet a half-dozen times during the past three days. His friend was clearly infatuated. Mrs. Bennet was obviously aware of his friend's feelings, and like so many women she was forward in the pursuit of an advantageous match for her daughter. Mr. Bingley and Miss Bennet were, of course, seated next to each other.
As Darcy sat, he scanned the dining room. A brass chandelier, whose polished metal gleamed dully, hung from the ceiling. All the candles were lit as the lateness of the season meant twilight had already begun. Beeswax candles were expensive. Darcy reflexively calculated the cost of burning them for the next six hours.
Other candles glowed from brass holders set around the walls. The brightness made an impressive show, and despite the loss of daylight, the details of the room were clear. The Bennets could have lit the room with half that many candles.
This was why he rarely used his main dining room during the winter. He needed to host some dinners to maintain amiable relations with his neighbors. But dinner parties were painfully dear. The roast, the candles, the additional servants for the night. Pemberley had hosted enough grand entertainments during his father's time.
The Bennets served their guests on silver plates, and the first course proved to be a deliciously seasoned ragout. Mr. and Mrs. Bennet seemed careless in the way his father had been. They could not spend this much to entertain their neighbors and put aside for the future when Mr. Bennet died.
Mrs. Bennet was a skilled hostess, and the guests were scattered about, so everyone had the opportunity to speak to someone new. Darcy sat next to Mrs. Bennet, who viewed with satisfaction how her eldest daughter and Bingley were deeply involved in conversation. Bingley puffed out his chest to look a little taller, and his eyes danced as he eagerly spoke to Miss Bennet.
There was a little thought in Mrs. Bennet's extravagance. Even though she only had a small fortune, she depended upon her eldest daughter marrying well enough to support everyone after Mr. Bennet died. Bingley was her target.
Miss Bennet was friendly but showed little animation or enthusiasm as she smiled at Bingley.
Darcy did not want to see his dearest friend trapped in an unhappy marriage that would drain his resources. Not after everything Bingley had done for him. Yet, it was enormously premature to worry about any such matter. And maybe Miss Bennet did dearly like Bingley. Darcy possessed no ability to understand young women.
He had never imagined Georgiana would run away.
Miss Elizabeth was animated as her fine features changed expressions quickly, and she flashed her hands about enthusiastically. She spoke to a gentleman Darcy believed was a Mr. Reed. Her dark ringlets waved; one bounced against her ear.
Their eyes met. Something twisted in Darcy's stomach. When she looked away, there was a pretty pink color in her cheeks.
"Have you met all my daughters, Mr. Darcy?"
It took Darcy a moment to focus on his hostess, then he said, "I was introduced to Miss Elizabeth before we entered the dining room."
Mrs. Bennet sniffed. "They are all well behaved girls. Even Lizzy, though Mr. Bennet allows her to run about. No, you'll never have any scandal come from my daughters. They know what is right and won't dishonor their family. They are always well supervised."
Darcy kept a stiff emotionless mask at Mrs. Bennet's reference to Georgiana. He had thought she was well supervised. If only he had not been so busy. And cheap. It would have been fifty pounds, but he should have hired an investigator to search out Mrs. Younge's past. Her references had been good. Colonel Fitzwilliam had found her, but it was still his fault.
During the entire dinner Elizabeth was constantly aware of Mr. Darcy. She, mostly, kept herself from looking at him.
Why did he scrutinize her? He didn't find her attractive. Was there so much to criticize about her person and behavior?
He could despise her if he will. She would laugh and act as she always did. One time her eye met his. His expression was solemn and inscrutable. Elizabeth looked away and forced herself to only pay attention to Mr. Reed.
But when Mrs. Bennet loudly exclaimed that her daughters were well behaved, it caught Elizabeth's attention. It was impossible not to look at Mr. Darcy.
His face was still and he breathed steadily. He stopped eating and stared at the white linen tablecloth. Her mother's horrid attack had struck a tender point. Many of the rumors claimed Mr. Darcy loved his sister dearly, and Mr. Darcy must feel his own failure as a guardian.
Mrs. Bennet smirked maliciously. "Do you keep a house in London?"
Elizabeth blushed in embarrassment and averted her eyes. Watching Mr. Darcy be embarrassed in this way sickened her. He had every right to despise her as the daughter of such a mother. Everyone in the neighborhood knew the story of how he sold a fine house in Grosvenor Square.
"No, madam."
"Heavens! Why ever not? I believed most old families, such as yours, kept one. It is so important to be able to enjoy the season and provide a display to the other great families. Were our consequence so great as I heard the Darcys' was, we would keep a house in London."
"Of that, madam, I have no doubt."
Darcy was happy the subject had turned from his sister to his supposed poverty. He did not care how extravagant fools saw him. Darcy took a bite from the ragout and let himself enjoy the pungent smell of the spices and the fatty meat on his tongue. He knew his own wealth; he knew that despite appearances he was a substantial man with great consequence.
Apparently convinced she had won a victory, Mrs. Bennet smirked again. Despite being well past forty, she was yet an attractive woman. Miss Elizabeth would likely age as elegantly as she had.
"It surprises me indeed that you have no house in London. My brother's wife is from your region of the country — she grew up a mere five miles from your estate — she once said the Darcys were the greatest family of the neighborhood and they kept a fine house in one of the best neighborhoods in London."
Darcy shrugged. He took another bite of the stew. Perhaps he should praise Mrs. Bennet's cook. He bet himself fifty pounds that she would reply to any such praise by commiserating him on his inability to afford one himself.
Her eyes bright, Mrs. Bennet asked, "Was my sister's intelligence mistaken?"
The pettiness of Mrs. Bennet delighted him. Darcy enjoyed pretending to be considerably poorer than he really was. If Mrs. Bennet knew his true income, she would be eager to attach him to one of her daughters, despite the scandal.
"Alas," Darcy shook his head sadly, "I was forced to sell the house. It was a matter of harsh necessity; a necessity I regret every time I wish I could throw a great entertainment for society. There were enormous debts left from my father's time, and the sale of the house only provided modest relief. My debts forced me to make many sacrifices. I do not even keep a chaise, and when I must travel to London, I go by post."
Darcy sighed theatrically and let his face sag. He wanted to appear as depressed as he could.
Mrs. Bennet sneered. "That is a pity for you."
The woman ceased speaking to Darcy and turned her attention back to Mr. Hurst, who complimented her fulsomely on the quality of the ragout.
He glanced around.
Elizabeth Bennet watched him from the edge of her eyes. Her face was red. Their gazes met again. She turned away immediately. He did not know her, but surely Miss Elizabeth could not be the same sort of person as her mother. Not with her pretty eyes and the brave smile she met his rudeness with. He would not judge anyone by their family.
Elizabeth blushed for Darcy.
Could not her mother see how rude, how improper, how immoral it was to try to hurt Darcy in this manner? Her reference to his debts and the need to sell his house amused him, at least Elizabeth thought from the cast of Darcy's face that he only pretended to be depressed by his inability to throw entertainments of mythic grandeur.
Mrs. Bennet's reference to his sister had hurt. It spoke well of Darcy that his sister's fate concerned him, while he faced his poverty with a sanguine shrug.
Elizabeth only paid a little attention to Mr. Reed, who was telling an extended anecdote for her amusement. After Mrs. Bennet ceased speaking to him, Darcy looked about and their eyes caught. Elizabeth felt embarrassed at having been caught staring at him again. She asked Mr. Reed a silly question and forced herself to listen to his response.
Darcy was a little bored as he sat without speaking. His eyes were pulled towards Miss Elizabeth. Why had he ever said she was not handsome enough to tempt him?
She was very tempting. Her fine mobile features worked into easy smiles as she conversed with the gentleman next to her. Her clear skin showed when she blushed, and the set of ringlets hung neatly around her face. Each time she smiled, one side of her face turned into a pretty dimple.
"Perhaps." Mary Bennet, seated on his other side, cleared her throat. Darcy looked over, distracted from the reverie on Miss Elizabeth's features. "Mr. Darcy, you should read Fordyce's sermons on the education of young women. It has much useful advice. I have copied out long extracts from it."
Darcy grunted but, though it was rude, made no verbal reply.
Undiscouraged, Mary Bennet quoted many passages discussing how to teach young ladies moral behavior and respect for their families.
MDVMDVMDV
After dinner when the gentlemen rejoined the party, Mr. Reed approached Elizabeth immediately. Elizabeth greeted him cautiously. She suddenly suspected from the manner of his smile that Mr. Reed admired her. He had inherited an estate almost as large as Longbourn a few months ago. Perhaps she should encourage him.
After all, she was not handsome enough for Mr. Darcy.
That was ridiculous. Mr. Darcy had nothing to do with the matter. If Mr. Reed liked her, it would be a good match. Elizabeth, however, did not think she liked him.
Darcy stood next to the fireplace with his elbow leaning against the mantelpiece. His manner showed a silent disinclination for engaging with the neighborhood. Not that the neighborhood deserved such consideration from a man it abused horribly behind his back.
His eyes settled on her again and he frowned.
Elizabeth smiled brightly and walked up to him. It was time to discover what he was really like beneath the jagged exterior. No rudeness from him would discourage her until she learned all she wanted.
"Mr. Darcy, you gaze upon us all with a satirical eye. What observations have you made? Do you find the neighborhood tolerable?"
Darcy was surprised by Miss Elizabeth's approach. Her lips curled up in a playful smile, and one of her cheeks had a delightful dimple. Even though she was referring to his insulting words, the expression in her pretty dark eyes was genuinely friendly.
Darcy smiled at Elizabeth.
His smile was warm, and Elizabeth blushed and looked away, but she forced her eyes back to his face.
Darcy said, "Anything I might say after such a brief acquaintance would shame me. First impressions often are very wrong and rarely should be spoken. If that impression is poor, not only would it be rude to speak aloud, but it would make the speaker a fool." Darcy gave Elizabeth a pointed look. "One might say someone is only tolerable and then discover upon a second glance they are most handsome."
"Now, Mr. Darcy, I do accept your oblique apology, but you do not need to claim you find me handsome now. You only need admit that you were rude then. I would never judge a man harshly over a matter of taste."
"I was very rude then, but you have always been handsome."
"Yes, I know. My vanity is a towering pillar." Elizabeth patted Darcy on his well-shaped arm. She knew she would be shy if this handsome man was actually attracted to her. "You need not fear you could undermine it. I am determined it always shall stand, immune to all words thrown at it. However, I can only accept your apology for the rudeness, because however tolerable you find me, politeness requires you claim to find me handsome."
"It is not untrue merely because I must claim it."
"Oh, sound reply. I fear I shall never know if I am only tolerable, or if I am, in fact, handsome enough to tempt."
Elizabeth grinned saucily at him. She was tantalizing. It was almost as if she didn't want him to find her attractive. Darcy did not know how to assure her he found her tempting without being imprudently pointed in his admiration. Nothing could ever happen between them.
She added, "I am very grateful you apologized. I thought there was a look of goodness about you, despite your manners."
The sincerity in her eyes touched Darcy. He smiled sloppily back at her. To break the moment, he quirked his eyebrow at her and said, "Despite my manners?"
Elizabeth laughed. "That was ill-phrased. It seems I am now the rude one. You do stand in an… untalkative manner. You are intimidating Mr. Darcy. I only approached you as I am determined to rise to every challenge."
"I am delighted you did. It has improved my evening enormously — I fear I am never easy with strangers. I find it difficult to enter their conversations."
"But you converse easily with me."
"No, Miss Elizabeth, you converse easily with me."
"Another sound reply. I fear I shall seldom win when I contend with you, and I dearly love to win."
"The victory easily obtained is not near as sweet as one struggled for."
"Were you not supposed to say that as a gentleman you would intentionally lose to protect my delicate sensibilities? That would be more chivalrous than a proclamation that you intend to defeat me as often as you may."
"Does my lack of chivalry undermine your belief in my fundamental goodness?"
"Nay — for I fancy myself a great observer of character. It is now a matter of my vanity to believe the best of you — do tell me what you think of the neighborhood. I truly wish to know. You have nothing to fear from me — if you expose yourself now, I will be able to compare what you see presently to what you think when you leave Hertfordshire."
"Miss Elizabeth, that may appeal to you. However, I must have an incentive."
"Aha!" Elizabeth grinned brightly. "You wish me to bribe you, so that I can hear the failings of my neighborhood. That hardly seems fair."
"You are the one who believes I think ill of the neighborhood." Darcy found Miss Elizabeth's forwardness charming. Her brown eyes were bright and flashing. He wanted to amuse her so she would stay near and continue to smile. Her perfume wafted to Darcy. It was floral and unsettling. "Perhaps I think very highly of you — of the neighborhood — and only hesitate out of a fear you will think I perjure myself with flattery."
Elizabeth laughed.
The happy sound made Darcy grin at her. The way the edges of her eyes crinkled together when she laughed was delightful. Elizabeth leaned her head back and was unselfconsciously happy. This was no pose of affected amusement, but genuine good humor.
Elizabeth said, "I might like to hear you perjure yourself with flattery — though only if you entirely believe every word you say."
"Then find some bribe."
Elizabeth tapped her cheek, smiling brightly at him. "Pray tell, are you more the sportsman or the scholar?"
"Both, milady. Is that not what is needed to complete the character of a gentleman?"
Elizabeth laughed again. "True — and I expect you to prove the most perfect of gentlemen. But I need more details of your pastimes if I am to entice you."
Elizabeth leaned closer to Mr. Darcy as she spoke and emphasized with a low voice the word 'entice'. She realized she was flirting with him.
"You wish to entice me?" Elizabeth blushed at how Darcy lowered his voice in turn. "You shall find that an easy task. I can fence so well I won the annual tournament at my club, I have jumped many a gate during a fox hunt, and I have been known as one of the best shots in Derbyshire. Yet, when I have an hour to spare, I will study the Latin poets."
Darcy blushed when Elizabeth grinned back at him. He realized he was acting like a fool, boasting about exploits that were mostly a decade old.
"Oh!" She clapped. "That is an impressive list of accomplishments. Do you compose poetry as well? Do you play the lute so as to make a lady's heart melt?"
Darcy turned his face away and, with a nervous gesture he could not stop, brought a hand up to rub at the back of his neck. "I should not brag. I do hunt as well as any other gentleman and remember enough of Latin to get along, but I do not spare the funds to keep a stable of hunters, and usually I am too busy with estate matters to maintain my marksmanship or fish often. My reading is usually agricultural treatises. I do fence regularly for the exercise — I am quite good."
The grin Darcy finished with was boyish. Elizabeth smiled back. The way Darcy flushed as he admitted his pretense was sweet. She liked that he was not really a boastful gentleman who would say anything to impress her.
"And poetry and music? As you have not denied your talents there, I shall believe you to be a true master of both arts."
Darcy flashed his teeth. "You wish me to perjure myself."
Elizabeth laughed.
Miss Bingley walked up to them. Her face was pinched, as though she had tasted something sour. "Poetry? You ask after Mr. Darcy's talents at poetry? There is no need for a man to do something so silly as compose poetry. I would never wish that from a gentleman — you wish to be sly and make sport of Mr. Darcy. He does not deserve to be laughed at."
"I only tease in good humor — I hope I am not one of those persons who would laugh at another's misfortune. Besides" — Elizabeth's eyes flicked to Darcy's face again — "He is a paragon. Have you not heard me admit he is the greatest poet of the age? And a musician of great talent. It is impossible to laugh at one of such grandeur."
Darcy snorted at Elizabeth's impish expression. "I am unsure whether to be astonished at your discovery of such virtues in me — virtues I was entirely unaware I possessed — or to view your praise as a fine example of how first impressions can mislead."
"You should thank me for discovering your great talents, which you can now exploit."
"Well, madam" — Darcy's eyes twinkled as he bowed — "it is not I, rather it is the ages to come who must thank you for the discovery of such skill."
Miss Bingley spoke sharply. "I can see you both are quite amused. How did you arrive at this discovery of Mr. Darcy's talents?"
"Miss Elizabeth wished to hear my observations of the neighborhood. She hoped it would reveal something of my character."
Miss Bingley spoke quickly, "Miss Elizabeth, you wish to hear how an outsider sees your neighborhood? Let me answer." She did not wait for Elizabeth's nod to continue, "Society here is well-connected. It is a marvel, how you all communicate so clearly — if a person enters a room, every story about them will be immediately shared around. The good and the ill. Also, your mother — she's an excellent host. I've never seen someone whose conversation will put a guest at ease better. She would never bring an inappropriate topic into conversation."
Darcy saw how Elizabeth flushed and involuntarily glanced at Mrs. Bennet. Miss Bingley's desire to insult her because of the behavior of her relations annoyed Darcy. A man should be judged by their own behavior, not those of his relations. He was not like his father.
Miss Elizabeth was bright and charming. She seemed little like her mother or the moralistic sister he had sat next to.
Georgiana proved to be like Father.
Miss Bingley added, "I heard from my partner at dinner that you visit your Cheapside relations often. Mr. Darcy, did you know, Miss Eliza's uncle is in trade and lives next to his warehouse in Cheapside."
Elizabeth noted the slightly disgusted way Mr. Darcy recoiled from Miss Bingley. It was clear her attempts to entice him were misaimed.
Elizabeth widened her eyes and spoke with girlish enthusiasm, "It is so wonderful to have relatives in trade! When I go to London, I get the ribbons and silk pieces at cost. It lets me extend my allowance so much further!"
Miss Bingley ran her eye up and down Elizabeth. "Yes. With your income that must be a matter of great importance."
Elizabeth nodded eagerly. "Oh it is. With our income."
Miss Bingley sneered. "I am in the fortunate position of being above such contrivances."
Darcy spoke without thinking. "Perhaps your income would go further if fewer candles were burned at parties such as this, and if the meal was kept to only two courses."
Elizabeth frowned at the ground with bright red spots in her cheeks.
Oops.
He had insulted her mother and, by implication, her. He was a blundering idiot.
Would he always be an inarticulate fool in Miss Elizabeth's presence? Darcy quickly apologized, "I should not speak on anyone's housekeeping. It is a personal matter in all cases. Your mother puts on an excellent party, and has been a good host. My need to make compromises should not lead me to disdain those who are in more fortunate circumstances. Might you forgive me for my unwarranted words?"
Darcy's apology gave Elizabeth a sudden insight into his character.
Miss Bingley might think herself above small contrivances to create easy economies, but Darcy obsessively thought about them. When he spoke he tended to be blunt, however, he was not trying to be hurtful, not this time, but rather to express what he would do in the Bennets' situation.
He looked at her with that earnest face as though he was terribly worried she was mortally offended. As if she could be offended by a man with such a sincere face. "Oh, you need not apologize. My mother is a little extravagant, but she means well and wishes her guests to have a good time. My father does not allow her to spend past our income."
Miss Bingley exclaimed, "You should be more cautious. There is nothing I despise so much as extravagance. When I set up my own household, I will practice every possible economy."
Darcy watched Elizabeth's disbelieving expression as she eyeballed Miss Bingley. It was hard not to grin again. She clearly did not believe Miss Bingley's professed love of economy either.
Miss Bingley spoke again, a speculative gleam in her eye, "Miss Elizabeth, you claimed to be an observer of character. What do you think of me? Please, do not spare my feelings — I am not a vain woman. Your true opinions will not hurt me."
Elizabeth pursed her lips. "Hmmm." She smiled impishly. "Even if it were fragile, my assessment of your character would not damage your pride: you are a perfect exemplar of a fine English lady's education."
The manner with which Elizabeth uttered that made Darcy crack a smile. He was sure Elizabeth saw he was amused, though he hoped he hid it from Miss Bingley.
He thought of his sister with a smile. It was the first time he remembered smiling about her. He certainly should not have sent Georgiana to that expensive school.
Elizabeth's description surprised Miss Bingley. "I… well, I thank you for that. But to say I was well-educated does not require much insight. Superior breeding is always evident. If you are a great judge of character, you must have a profounder insight."
Elizabeth's dimple showed again. "Perhaps you should think further upon the insight I already gave you. It has more depth than you realize."
Miss Bingley's lips curled downwards into an unpleasant expression. Before she could speak Darcy said, "Miss Elizabeth, I would dearly like to hear how you see me."
She laughed. "Is this what I deserve for asking you to reveal opinions based on only the briefest of acquaintance?"
"You are the one who is a great judge of character, besides, are not first impressions fascinating."
"I am a great observer of character. My judgment, however, I am hardly qualified to speak towards."
"But nonetheless, I perceive, you think highly of it."
Elizabeth grinned. "Aha, I managed to make you reveal your opinion of me, and without resort to bribery. You see me as quite overconfident, which I suspect to be true." Darcy raised his eyebrows and gave a shrug of agreement. His smirk was very handsome. "Well, as you have revealed your opinion of me fairness demands I make some return."
Elizabeth looked Darcy's long tall form up and down. He was clean and well-muscled. There was an amused light in his eyes. His happiness looked far better on him than his somber manner at dinner or in the assembly hall. His hair was a vibrant brown and his eyes a bright blue. There was a curl that fell over his forehead.
"I do hope your delay is not because your opinion of me is completely negative. I know I have revealed some faults to you."
"Oh, my assessment has nothing negative in it."
"And I believed you to be scrupulously honest."
"I am."
Darcy smiled and waited for Elizabeth to speak.
"You are too solemn. That is my opinion. You do not laugh enough, and you take matters too seriously. Your worries are important — I know they are — but what is the purpose of life if there is not opportunity to laugh along the way?"
Elizabeth spoke with a sudden intensity and passion. Her words struck Darcy as though they provided the solution to his happiness. He had thought he was happy before, but it had been a matter of happenstance. He wanted to smile and laugh more. He'd never laughed much.
Miss Bingley spoke, "Mr. Darcy's manners are perfect — too free laughter in gentlemen is vulgar. The fault is with your preferences — Mr. Darcy has great responsibilities which he strives to fulfill."
Elizabeth tilted her head and pursed her lips and peered at Miss Bingley. The slight shake of her head was dismissive. Miss Bingley flushed.
Darcy said, "You do not think — I could not laugh about the — what has happened…"
"Oh. I do not say you should laugh about that — It does not matter what you laugh about, but no matter how poor the situation is — you should laugh. Happiness is a choice — please, do not choose to be miserable."
"Do you think that?" Darcy found himself smiling. "I hope you are correct." The weight of his debts and worry for Georgiana lightened. "You spoke rightly; I have not been in the habit of frequent laughter."
Soon Mrs. Bennet encouraged an impromptu dance, so Jane might have another opportunity to entice Mr. Bingley. Since Elizabeth's manner at the piano entertained better than Mary's, Mrs. Bennet made her play. After all, no gentleman wished to pay court to her.
Miss Bingley returned to Netherfield that night unusually quiet and surprised by herself. She had decided to pay no further attention to Darcy. If he was committed to one day acknowledging his vile sister, someone else could marry him. That was too much; even Pemberley and a relationship to an earl was not worth it.
But then she had seen that low ill-bred baggage flirting with Mr. Darcy. Miss Eliza made those eyes and smiles at him. Mr. Darcy was hers. And no penniless bitch would take him away.
Darcy was like a great wounded beast who normally would shrug off every snare of the hunter. But now, until he had recovered from the shock of Georgiana's muddying her blood and handing a fortune to a servant, a cunning hunter might fell the elephant and feast for the rest of her life on the carcass. That is, live at Pemberley the wife of a driven man who was far wealthier than any other she had more than a bare acquaintance with.
AN: So a quick comment on my last author's note: First, I don't mean that there isn't an HEA. Of course there is an HEA. I just drag them through more angst, driven by internal dynamics, not external enemies, than a lot of people enjoy. I did get a lot of really glowing reviews on this story, just there were more disappointed reviews than glowing reviews, while most of my stories have far more happy or glowing reviews than unhappy ones. I still think this is a story that most people will enjoy as it is. Some people will probably really, really enjoy it, and some people will get annoyed with it.
I'm not changing anything though. The story was conceived and written as a single piece with the pacing and logic connected. It would require completely rewriting the story to get rid of the features that annoyed some readers. I am finished with it. I post to fan fiction sites because as a member of the community who for a long time didn't have the money to spend on books, it is personally important to me to have my books eventually available for free. But I am not going to spend a lot of time changing things for a free version, even if there are things I might change if the book hadn't already been published.