Quickie:

SassyLostie - Glad you like my "protective Sawyer". Hehe. I always like to hear that I'm writing these characters well. One of the insecurities about writing fan fiction.
LostSista - Two babies IS a lot to care for! Especially when Sawyer is one of them. Hehehe. We'll find out what was wrong.
bonboni - Hmm. There are some good combinations - like Sawyer and Kate. There are some bad combinations - like...well, you'll see.
sivan - Nice to see your name appear in a review again. Don't worry about not being a frequent reviewer. I don't mind. I'm glad you're enjoying the story!

Well, I've finally moved into my new apartment, and I'm here for good. I haven't gotten internet yet, but luckily, someone has it in this building and I can secretly mooch off it! Hurrah! So I can get back on track with updates. Cue all the reviewers jumping with joy...Teehee.

All right. Enough of my rambling. I'm just stalling to keep you all from reading what you want to read. So..drumroll please! Oh, and enjoy!

Chapter 35

Sawyer waited impatiently in the waiting room, keeping Aaron quiet on his lap, letting him bounce again. He was holding Aaron's hands so as to keep the both of them from scratching. He kept glancing at the clock hanging up on the wall, but each time only another minute had passed. Why was it that when something important was happening, time could never move fast enough?

Aaron soon grew restless so Sawyer plucked one of the "kiddy" magazines from the table and let him look at the pictures. He glanced at the clock again, but the hands didn't seem to have moved. His fingers tapped against the arm of the chair, eagerly. What was going on in there?

After a half hour passed, one of the nurses came out and sat next to him, wearing a small smile. Her strawberry blonde ponytail bobbed as she glanced at her clipboard, then back at them. She had freckles, he noticed. Fancy that…

"Dr. Park wanted me to ask you a few questions, if that's all right," she said hesitantly.

"Shoot."

She smiled at Aaron. "How long has he had them?"

"Since yesterday morning."

"And you?"

"Last night."

"Have you ever had the varicella zoster virus before?"

He paused for a second, wondering what she was talking about. Then he remembered she was a nurse and she wouldn't use the common terms. She had to be elaborate and medicinal.

"No."

"Okay, that's good." She quieted as she wrote things down on her clip board. She smiled up at them again. "That's all I need."

"Hey," he called as she started to walk to the door. "You know anything 'bout her?"

"No," she said after a pause. "But if I find out anything, you'll be the first to know."

He looked away, his expression pained. He had to give her credit for trying. But who better than he knew when someone was lying? No one would tell him what was going on, and he needed to know that Kate was going to be okay. He sighed. He knew it would be only a matter of time before there'd be another disturbance. But so soon?

Sawyer spotted Dr. Park coming out from the room she was in with Kate and walk over to speak with the nurse at the station. His heart began to thump against his chest rapidly. He grew quickly impatient and stared her down until she turned and headed toward the door to him. He sat up straighter as she got closer and tried to, but couldn't, read her expression. It looked like a mix of sympathy and concern, but he couldn't be sure.

"You can go see her now, Mr. Ford."

He leapt up from his chair to follow her, moving Aaron to his side again and holding him with one arm. Aaron frowned, not quite done with his magazine yet, and began to whine. She stopped at the door and turned toward him.

"Why don't I take Aaron from you? I'll check him out in the other room and make sure he's all right."

He looked down at the boy, curiously, then back at her and agreed. He handed Aaron over to her and she smiled at him. They walked through the door and to the room he was in over a half hour ago. Dr. Park nodded and left him on his own. He watched her until she disappeared into the room beside them, and opened the door.

Kate was lying on the bed, somewhat curled up. Her pained eyes focused on the floor, and her eyebrows were scrunched. She was in a hospital gown – white with blue dots sprinkled all over it. Her clothes were in a pile on the chair beside the counter. Sawyer stuffed his hands in his pockets and walked over to her. Now that he had a better view, he noticed her distress and he could see she was clearly fighting back tears.

"You all right, Freckles?" he said quietly.

"She said it was just over-exhaustion," she said in a solemn voice.

"Oh."

She finally lifted her eyes to his and her lips started to quiver. She tore her eyes away from his and stared at the floor again. The tears instantly filmed over her eyes. He leaned down closer to her, his heart filling with dread.

"What's wrong?"

Instead of saying anything, she turned her face into the pillow and began to sob uncontrollably. He put a hand on her back and smoothed her hair down with the other. He could only guess what was wrong. Again, he thought.
She turned over and looked up at him with teary eyes. Her sobs quieted and she swallowed a few times, trying to breathe.

"Dr. Park…ran some tests," she finally managed to get out.

"Okay…" his eyebrows lowered.

"She said…" she looked down again, her lips beginning to tremble more. "She said that it's…that it's going to affect the pregnancy."

"What is?"

"The Chicken Pox, James!" she cried.

"Oh," he said quickly. He should have figured. While she silently wept, he realized that his assumption had been wrong. He wished he could have been relieved to hear it…

"She said that it might be born with deformities or…there might be complications, or something, I don't know…" she said, the last few words breaking off into another sob.

He looked down at the floor, then back at her, uneasily. "Deformed?"

"What're we gonna do?" she cried in a whisper.

He let out a long unsteady breath. "I don't know."

"Do you think…should we still…"

"I don't know," he repeated.

She glanced at the floor again, then around the room.

"I don't know if I want this anymore," she admitted. When he didn't say anything, she added, "There's so much I still don't know…"

"Yeah…"

"I'm still…" she trailed.

"Scared?" he offered.

She lowered her eyes to the floor once more and pressed her lips together.

"Yeah."

"Me too," he finally confessed.

Her eyes raised to his again, shocked. "You are?"

"Scared to death." A moment of silence passed as he stared down at the floor angry and saddened. "I don't wanna turn into my father."

She stared at him sympathetically, fighting back more tears. "You won't."

"I might. And I don't want it to happen. But whose to say I have any control over that?"

"You're a different man, James," she said, sitting up.

"How do you know?" he said bitingly. "I don't even know."

She said nothing. There was no arguing with that fact.

"And I don't wanna know."

She swallowed and looked down. "Are you saying you don't want to do this anymore?"

He didn't answer her.

"I don't think I do either," she said after a long silence.

"You don't?"

"No," she shook her head. "At least…not yet."

"Yeah," he agreed quietly.

Just then, Dr. Park returned to the room and their heads turned. Kate's brow furrowed when she saw the doctor empty handed. Park immediately caught on.

"I left Aaron with Amy," she explained. When she saw Sawyer's confused face, she added, "The nurse you spoke with a little while ago. He seems to be doing okay with the pox. I have a few prescriptions here for you. One is for him, and one is for the two of you. It's a cream that will relieve the itching, and it will get rid of the pox faster. Plus, it's easier than taking ten baths a day. Not to mention all of the oatmeal you'll save," she smiled.

Kate put on a small smile. "Thank you."

Dr. Park's expression changed into an understanding one. "Have you two decided what you'd like to do?"

Kate glanced at Sawyer uncertainly only to be met with the same look. They both knew what they wanted to do. And it was for the best, Kate thought. Wasn't it? She took a deep breath before speaking.

"I don't think either of us is ready for this," she said softly.

"I understand. But I strongly urge you to reconsider. There is no definite confirmation of any trauma yet, and - "

Kate shook her head. "I can't," she said, barely audible.

Dr. Park nodded, disappointedly. "Okay." She paused. "Well, if you like, we could postpone the procedure and keep a close watch on the fetus. I'll monitor it's progression through the rest of the first trimester and we'll see what the outcome is. As I've said, it's only at high risk. That doesn't mean that it's definite."

Kate looked to Sawyer to see his reaction. He raised his eyebrows, seeming to leave the decision up to her.

"It's only five weeks more. You'll be giving this baby another chance. What have you got to lose?"

Dr. Park's last words had a great impact on Kate's thoughts. It seemed to be a theme throughout her life – second chances. And she was right. There was nothing to lose – except the baby, of course. Which…wouldn't be the end of the world…would it?

"Okay," Kate said.