We remained in Lothlorien for weeks while the members of the Fellowship regained their strength and mourned the loss of Gandalf. The other reason we stayed so long was because Galadriel did not want to let me leave without first being able to completely mask my presence and go unnoticed among humans and other creatures. The other members of the Fellowship were now able to touch me as freely as my father could, much to the relief of all. While the weeks passed Boromir and my father taught the hobbits more swordplay and me and my father grew closer. Galadriel had been right, with Gandalf gone my father was the leader of the Fellowship now and they now looked to the two of us to lead them on. On our last night in Lothlorien we sat around the fire telling stories of our lives before we had joined the Fellowship and laughing. As I watched them all with a fond smile and I realized why it was I had been able to recognize the look of love in Fax's eyes, because somewhere along this journey I had come to love every person around me. They had become my family, the people I would do almost anything for. Shortly after we went to bed and morning came all too soon. That morning I changed out of the gown I had been wearing and the moment it was off the crown on my head also vanished. I dressed in black leggings, a blue tunic tucked into the leggings, black leather vest and a black coat along with black boots followed by my Elven made cloak. Lady Galadriel had been kind enough to repair my cloak after I had ripped it to make a bandage for myself. Once I had finished dressing and joined the others they had to blink a few times before they realized it was me. They had gotten so used to seeing me dressed in that gown that this change was a slight shock to them. I gave a laugh at their faces.
"Did you expect me to continue one in that gown? It would attract far too much attention." I told them smiling.
"It has been so long I had quite forgotten that you joined us in the disguise of a man." Boromir said.
"You should not forget that before I was a Queen I was a Ranger. Another thing, my identity is of the utmost secrecy many would jump at the chance to try and capture someone like me. Also my connection to Gondor will make this journey even more dangerous. Having one heir was trouble enough, but having two...we will have to be careful. I will become Cainmar once more." I told them as I placed my weapons about my person. We soon departed from the clearing we had been staying in and made our way down to the shore and the boats that would take us to the river Anduin. The Fellowship stood in front of Celeborn and some of the other Elves of Lothlorien, including Haldir as they fastened green cloaks around our shoulders. They were fastened with green and silver veined leaves and mine was fastened underneath the black cloak that I usually wore.
"Never before have we clad strangers in the garb of our own people. May these cloaks help shield you from unfriendly eyes." Celeborn said to us. Haldir was placing my cloak and his hands lingered longer than normal when he was finished. Haldir had been a good friend to me for a very long time and every time I felt Lothlorien again he always had to fight back the urge to hold me to him and never let me go. I grabbed his hands in mine and pushed myself up on my toes to lean my forehead against his.
"I will be fine Haldir. This is not like the other times when I was in danger when I left here. I am stronger than ever and any enemy will find it hard to fell me." I whispered to him. He nodded and released me to step back as Galadriel moved forward. She stopped first in front of Legolas and handed him a new bow. He took it with an awe filled look and tested the draw as Galadriel spoke.
"My gift for you, Legolas, is a bow of the Galadhrim, worthy of the skill of our woodland kin." She smiled and turned to Merry and Pippin. An Elf stepped forward and handed something to Galadriel and she in turn handed them to Merry and Pippin. I saw that she handed each of them a small dagger.
"These are the daggers of the Noldorin. They have already seen service in war." The hobbits took them with the same awe filled look that Legolas had. "Do not fear, young Peregrin Took. You will find your courage." She told him softly. She moved next to Sam who was shifting from foot to foot.
"And for you, Samwise Gamgee: Elven rope made of hithlain." Galadriel said as she handed Sam a coil of thin rope.
"Thank you, my lady." He said and looked sideways at the blades that Merry and Pippin held before looking up at her hopefully. "Have you run out of those nice, shiny daggers?" He asked. Galadriel smiled and I knew she was fighting back a laugh as she moved next to Gimli. Gimli diverted his eyes toward the ground as though he was afraid to look at her.
"And what gift would a Dwarf ask of the Elves?" She asked him softly.
"Nothing." He grunted and looked up at her. As he did a change seemed to come over his features and he spoke again. "Except to look upon the Lady of the Galadhrim one last time, for she is more fair than all the jewels beneath the earth." I raised an eyebrow at that. That easily had to be the kindest thing I had ever heard from Gimli, and that was no small compliment that he had paid her, for Dwarves desire the beautiful jewels beneath the earth more than anything. Galadriel giggled at his compliment and smiled brightly at Gimli. He turned to walk away and then paused before turning back to Galadriel.
"Actually, there was one thing – ah, arg, that is quite impossible, stupid to ask." Gimli mumbled to himself. Galadriel placed an arm around his shoulders and led him away from the rest of us and I politely turned my ears away from them to focus on the Elves who were preparing the boats for our departure as well as filling them with things that we would need for our journey. Merry and Pippin were already seated in one boat and were talking quietly as Legolas put more things in the boat. He pulled a package of thin bread from one of the packs and held it up to show Merry and Pippin.
"Lembas! Elvish way-bread. One small bite is enough to fill the stomach of a grown man." Legolas told them with excitement in his voice as he bit the corner off one of the pieces. He repacked it and placed it in the boat as Merry and Pippin looked at each other.
"How many did you eat?" Merry quietly asked Pippin.
"Four." He whispered back and quietly belched. I grin split my face and I had to fight not to laugh. Galadriel returned with a stunned Gimli and she moved to stand in front of my father and placed her hand on the pendant that my father always wore around his neck. The moment I had seen it when we left Rivendell I had known what it was, but now that I had become Queen of the Frost I could sense the low hum that came from the magic inside it. It was the container of Arwen's immortality, signifying her choice to have a mortal life with my father. While I may have forgiven my father for what happened I had not yet reached a place where I could forgive her.
"I have nothing greater to give, than the gift you already bear. Am meleth din. I ant e-guil Arwen Undómiel...pelitha." (For her love, I fear the grace of Arwen Evenstar... Will diminish.) A look of deep sorrow consumed Galadriel's eyes and it was then that I remembered that Arwen was her granddaughter. I had to look away from the sorrow in my father's eyes and found myself looking at Haldir who had his hands clenched at his sides. I moved from my place beside Frodo and stood in front of him. Behind me I heard my father begin to speak but I ignored him and spoke to Haldir.
"I will come back Haldir. I always do." I told him as I reached out and cupped his face in my hands.
"This is not a simple matter of you leaving to wander the North. You are going to Mordor, the one place in all of Arda that you should avoid." He said in a whisper.
"Haldir." I said and reached up to softly press my lips against his. He reacted instantly and behind me the conversation between my father and Galadriel ceased. Haldir deepened the kiss and I allowed him to before I pulled away. "I will always come back." I breathed and stepped out of his arms to stand next to Frodo once again. Frodo was looking at me with shock and my father looked like he wanted nothing more than to hit Haldir as hard as possible. Galadriel and Celeborn were looking at me with raised brows and I steadily ignored them as Galadriel continued her conversation with my father.
"That choice is yet before her. You have your own choice to make, Aragorn...to rise above the height of all your fathers since the days of Elendil, or to fall into darkness...with all that is left of your kin. Namárië. Nadath nâ i moe cerich. Dan...ú-'eveditham, Elessar." (Farewell. There is much you have yet to do. We shall not meet again, Elessar.) Galadriel whispered and I startled, looking at her with wide eyes. Why would she say that they would never meet again? Galadriel moved in front of Frodo and handed him a crystalline vial shaped like a teardrop filled with lightly shining water.
"Farewell, Frodo Baggins. I give you the light of Eärendil, our most beloved star." I gasped as she said that and she leaned down to press a kiss to Frodo's forehead. Finally she turned to me with a smile.
"Rhew. Like your father there is nothing I can give you beyond what you already have. I am so proud of you and the stunning person you have become." She stepped forward to embrace me and whispered in my ear. "I know you fear to meet your mothers fate, but those who's hearts you hold would never betray you." She pulled away and placed a kiss to my forehead as well. Celeborn pulled me and my father away to speak.
"Every league you travel south, the danger will increase. Mordor Orcs now hold the eastern shore of the Anduin. Nor will you find safety on the western bank. Strange creatures bearing the mark of the White Hand have been seen on our boarders. Seldom do Orcs journey in the open, under the sun, yet these have done so!" He told us. That was unsettling news to be sure. Orcs that did not fear to travel in daylight were something to be more than a little weary about. They could easily prove more dangerous than anything we could face from here on in. The three of us paused and both me and my father looked down to see that Celeborn was holding two identical ornately curved daggers. We took them and unsheathed them to see the blades glinting in the predawn light. They were inscribed with words of protection and words of victory in battle. I looked up at Celeborn with awe, these were the gifts of kings.
"Le aphadar aen." (You are being tracked.) He told us softly. I secured the dagger to my belt and threw my arms around Celeborn's neck. The Elf froze and I could hear my father chuckling a little before Celeborn unfroze and returned the embrace. I pulled back and felt Celeborn press a kiss to my forehead exactly where Galadriel had.
"By river you have the chance of outrunning the enemy to the Falls of Rauros." Celeborn said. My father nodded and turned away to the boats.
"You must be brave. This journey will turn even more perilous for you before the end. The others will depend on you to help lead them." I nodded my head and joined Legolas and Gimli in their boat. Merry and Pippin were with Boromir and Frodo and Sam were with my father. After a glance behind we pushed away from the shore and Lorien faded away.
As the boats moved further downstream the sun rose and we were silent as we thought over our parting with the Lord and Lady of Lorien, though my thoughts remained on what Galadriel had said to me about those whose hearts I held not betraying me. I knew she had meant Fax, but I wondered if she could have meant Haldir as well. Could he too love me? A few hours passed before anyone spoke and it was Gimli who first did.
"I have taken my worst wound at this parting, having looked my last upon that which is fairest. Here, henceforth I will call nothing fair unless it be her gift to me." Gimli spoke grandly. I smiled and bit back a laugh.
"What was it?" Legolas asked.
"I asked her for one hair from her golden head. She gave me three." He told us dreamily. I looked at the direction of the Dwarf in shock. That was truly a fair gift to have been given. I pulled my black hood back over my plaited hair and pulled my mask once again over the bottom of my face and could not help but put a little humor into a dower mood.
"Is there truly nothing else you would call fair?" I asked Gimli innocently as I once again allowed the frost to deepen my voice. Gimli jolted at the sound and even Legolas startled a little at it. Gimli seemed to quickly take my meaning and tried to sputter out an answer.
"Well, I mean, that is, of course, you-" He cut off as I could not contain my laughter any more and even Legolas was laughing by the end. My father and Boromir's boats were close enough to us to have heard the conversation and they too were laughing.
"Worry not Gimli. I believe that there is no one fairer than that of Lady Galadriel." I told him.
"I would find myself disagreeing with you Cainmar. I find you far fairer than Galadriel." Legolas said. He went completely still as though he had not realized he had spoken out loud. There was a dull thud as the oar of my fathers boat somehow found the back of Legolas's head. I found myself laughing so hard I nearly toppled out of the boat and would have if Legolas had not caught me. It took me a good while to calm my laughing and had to wipe away tears.
After that we soon passed out of the smaller branch of the Anduin into the river itself beneath sheer cliffside. It was so large that our boats drifted away from the close formation we had been traveling in to spread out. We traveled onward in comfortable silence for a while until I heard the sounds of large creatures moving through the forest to our right. A flock of birds erupted from the trees and all eyes turned to the forest. I smoothly stood and studied the forest trying to use my heightened sight to see what it was. I stepped out of the boat and the moment my foot touched the water it froze solid underneath me. I took a few steps forward but could not see anything through the thick trees.
"Cain!" My father called from behind me. I reluctantly turned my head from the tree line to see the boats still moving down the river. I darted toward the boats, running along the ice that formed under my feet until I reached my boat and hopped back inside.
"What did you see?" He asked me as he moved his boat closer.
"Nothing, and that is what worries me. I could hear them, but not see them." I told him quietly. We picked up the pace and I traded places with Legolas to row for a while. Darkness was beginning to fall and we made camp on a small island in the middle of the river. Boromir was half hidden behind a large boulder looking out at the river and a small log that floated gently along. Small hands clutched it and the barest top of a head could be seen as eyes glinted softly for a moment before disappearing.
"Gollum. He has tracked us since Moria." I told him softly.
"I had hoped that we would lose him on the river. But he is too clever a waterman." Aragorn added just as softly.
"And if he alerts the enemy to our whereabouts it will make the crossing even more dangerous." Boromir replied. Sam and Frodo began a quiet conversation behind us about Frodo's lack of sleep and apatite. I was also worried about it. This journey was already treacherous enough and Frodo needed all the strength he could get to keep going. I snapped back to the conversation between Aragorn and Boromir at Boromir's suggestion.
"Minas Tirith is the safer road. You know it. From there we can regroup...strike out for Mordor from a place of strength."
"There is no strength in Gondor that can avail us." Aragorn said.
"You were quick enough to trust the Elves. Have you so little faith in your own people?" Boromir demanded.
"Boromir." I warned quietly but he ignored me.
"Yes, there is weakness. There is frailty. But there is courage also, and honor to be found in Men. But you will not see that." Aragorn turned away and Boromir roughly grabbed his arm. I stepped forward, my hand resting on the hilt of one of my many knives. "You are afraid! All your life, you have hidden in the shadows! Scared of who you are, of what you are! Even your own daughter has stepped up and accepted her responsibility! Will you really do no less than her?" He demanded and shoved Aragorn's arm away. Aragorn turned away but spun back around suddenly.
"I will not lead the Ring within a hundred leagues of your city!" He spat and walked away.
"You should not pry into things that are not your business." I told Boromir coldly. He said nothing but stalked away from me to lay on his own bedroll. While we had been in Lothlorien Aragorn had told me why he had never accepted the Crown of Gondor and why he probably never would. I never tried to convince him to do so, how could I when I had spent so long running from my own?