Bingley sent Darcy a letter which explained that if Darcy would fully acknowledge Wickham and recognize him in society, Wickham promised to settle what remained of Georgiana's fortune irrevocably upon her and heirs of her body, however retaining a lifetime interest in the income for himself should she predecease him.
Elizabeth wondered if Bingley's letter told Darcy that she was there. Maybe she should leave Ramsgate to avoid meeting him.
For the next week the Wickhams and Bingleys spent most of their time together. Georgiana was desperate for female companionship, and both Jane and Elizabeth took to her. Most days she would call at Jane and Bingley's house and stay for hours at a time.
Mr. Bingley played cards with Wickham every night to prevent him from losing any more of Georgiana's fortune before it could be made inaccessible. Bingley returned from late nights where both men drank a great deal flushed with money he planned to return to Georgiana. While an avid gambler, and a decent bluff, Wickham was always too aggressive and had only a mediocre head for numbers.
A week after Georgiana discovered Wickham's gambling, she had come early in the morning while Mr. Wickham still slept. A little past noon everyone had gathered in the drawing room, and Georgiana played a fast piece of music while Elizabeth, Jane, and Bingley danced a jig, switching between a circle and holding each other's hands.
They stopped when a knock struck the door.
The butler ushered Mr. Darcy into the room.
Elizabeth's heart stopped when his eyes searched for her first. She tried to pull her eyes away as the skittering beats raced to catch up after their pause. He looked fine: his figure, his eyes, his hair.
Where he stood glowed.
Georgiana jumped from the piano and rushed to Darcy, embracing him tightly. It broke the gaze between Elizabeth and Darcy. He patted Georgiana down and looked her over carefully.
Elizabeth examined him. His coat hung a little looser on him. Darcy hadn't been so thin before. There were bags under his eyes. Anxiety twisted Elizabeth's gut. Had Mr. Darcy been sick?
Georgiana sobbed. "I hurt you! I hurt you — Forgive me, I hurt you."
"Oh, Georgie, do not worry about me. Not now, I shall love you no matter what."
"George? Did you see him? Are things well between you? Are we truly family now?"
Elizabeth listened intently to Darcy, hoping to hear in his voice how he truly felt. He had an odd expression. "Things are well. We shook hands and declared ourselves brothers."
"I am so glad." Georgiana embraced Darcy tightly again. "I love you both."
"And we both… we both love you."
Elizabeth wondered what Darcy saw when he studied Georgiana's face. He seized his sister in a tight, but careful embrace. "I missed you. I missed you so — I feared I might never see you again."
Elizabeth choked with a deep emotion at seeing this reunion. She had arranged this. It made the way she'd acted better. As Darcy embraced Georgiana, his eyes looked around the room and met Elizabeth's. She smiled tearily at him.
When Georgiana and Darcy at last let go, Bingley heartily shook Darcy's hand. "It is extremely good to see you again, and so soon."
"You as well."
Jane also greeted Darcy, but Elizabeth stayed in the background. She needed to leave the room. He came to the Bingleys' house because he was so eager to see Georgiana; even though he likely knew she was there. Elizabeth would not attempt to claim a friendship with him again.
Darcy smiled at her and walked forward with his hand out. She numbly let him take her hand and shake it. "I understand" — he hesitated — "I have you to thank for my present reconciliation with my sister."
"I did nothing." Elizabeth could not meet his eyes. There was a look in them that reminded her of happier times. She could not look.
"That is not what I understood from Mr. Wickham. He said the idea of settling the funds for my sister and making me the trustee was yours. I know you are too modest."
"That is not true. You know I am not modest. Do not say I am modest." Elizabeth remembered wantonly pressing herself against him, trying to seduce him. She bit her lip and forced herself to smile in Darcy's direction. "Do not thank me for your present reconciliation with Georgiana, rather thank me for your reconciliation with your brother."
Darcy smiled, but his eyes were concerned — oh, she should have run from the room the instant he entered.
"Oh yes, you must thank her!" Georgiana exclaimed, "Lizzy has been the best friend to us all. I like her very much."
Though she tried to lower her gaze so he could not, Darcy caught Elizabeth's eye and warmly smiled in a manner Elizabeth instinctually returned. "Then I thank you for all the joy accepting Wickham as my brother brings me. It was your doing."
Elizabeth almost giggled despite herself and placed her fingers briefly over her lips. Elizabeth said, "It has been so long — we must give you privacy."
She fled the room before Darcy could say anything, half pushing Jane and Bingley along with her.
Jane tried to ask Elizabeth how she felt about seeing Darcy again, but Elizabeth did not answer and ran outside to sit in the garden and watch the waves.
At least he didn't hate her.
He was so handsome, and none of the charm and kindness of his manner had dissipated. She wished she didn't still love him. Eventually this need would dissipate. She'd already become happy again. She had already accepted that he had been right to reject her.
It hurt to see him again.
Eventually, the party in the house joined Elizabeth in the garden. Darcy held Georgiana's arm and he looked content. His eyes sought hers, and he smiled in a hesitant manner that seemed to be begging permission to smile at her.
Elizabeth stood, and Georgiana embraced her. "I am so happy — thank you, thank you, thank you."
While the women held each other, Bingley said to Darcy, "We must talk — you and I. I'm glad that you will stay with your sister and brother — I am tired of keeping an eye on Wickham — for a man who plays cards so much, he is not very good — but once you have settled yourself, walk by this evening for supper so we can talk."
"I will."
Anxiety stabbed at Elizabeth's chest. If she spent any great amount of time with Darcy, he would see how desperately she still loved him. She could not beg Jane and Bingley to take her to Charlotte earlier, because then Georgiana would wonder, and Elizabeth did not want her new friend to hear the story.
Darcy took Elizabeth's hand and opened his mouth to speak something to her but instead squeezed her hand and departed with one last enigmatic look.
Once Georgiana and Darcy were out of earshot, Jane turned to Elizabeth and asked, "Lizzy — are you well?" She looked at her husband and added with a frown, "Charles will meet his friend in a room at the inn if you would be more comfortable."
Bingley smacked himself on the forehead. "Of course — I have behaved as a dunce — I will send a messenger immediately to say —"
"No!" Elizabeth shook her head sharply. "I do not wish to make things awkward — I do not want Georgiana to learn — I do not want… Please, Darcy has made his sentiments clear to me. He will not toy with me. I accept his choice. I beg you, can we pretend as though nothing has happened?"
Jane said in a crooning voice, "But it has happened. You are unhappy."
"I am happy — I told you I have accepted his choice. I shall only be unhappy if you make a great mountain out of nothing. Besides, it does not matter. No doubt his visit will consist of you" — Elizabeth pointed to Bingley — "and him sitting in the study drinking whiskey and talking about boring matters."
At last to Jane and Bingley left her alone.
Elizabeth settled gratefully back into her favorite lounge chair. There was a hint of rotting seaweed and fish on the breeze. Oddly it was a pleasant smell. She loved the crashing surf. The green waves swelled and then broke into white crests of surf. Elizabeth reached out and fingered the leather bound cover of the novel on the small table next to her.
She had rescued Georgiana from a horrid fate. That was cause to celebrate. Darcy had looked so happy. Their reunion had been a touching scene.
His eyes when he looked at her. He had been grateful and friendly. Perhaps he now felt secure enough that he did not need to flee, but it was painful to see him again.
Far sooner than Elizabeth expected possible, Darcy strode up the avenue.
He stood next to the low green fence which bordered the garden, one hand falling lightly on a post. The tail of his coat fluttered in the breeze, and the other hand kept his beaver hat firmly on his head. For a seeming eternity they looked at each other, and then Darcy hopped over the fence and confidently walked to her.
Elizabeth stood up to greet him, and before Darcy could say anything, she burst out, "I treated you abominably. My behavior was immoral, selfish, shameful and… and wrong."
"Elizabeth —" He shook his head.
"You made your choice. You… I should not have… I shamed myself. I should not have hounded you once you decided I wasn't… that you wouldn't — it was your right to reject me, and… I should have —"
"You did nothing wrong."
"I did. I tried to make you betray the promises you had made to yourself. I never should have tried to seduce you."
"Will you marry me?"
Elizabeth blinked at Darcy. He had not just said that.
"Elizabeth, I have been miserable. I missed you, I could not cease thinking about you — I cannot walk away again. I will not. Elizabeth will you —"
"No!" Elizabeth breathed heavily. The wind had flopped a long lock of Darcy's hair onto his forehead. "You would regret it. You know you would — a marriage to me — marrying me would be contrary to your interests, your judgment, your habits of life."
"I no longer care. I need you. I love you. It may be wrong, but I cannot —"
"You are overwrought — passion has overcome your reason. But your reason shall return again, and you would regret marrying me."
"I never could regret making you happy."
"And I could not be happy if you ignored your reason and principles." Elizabeth added bitterly, "You now have only one thought on your mind. But if my allurements drew you to make a miserable mistake — I would not be happy — I once believed I would, but I was a fool then."
"Elizabeth, it is not your person, but your soul which I need. We need each other. To be happy. I cannot be happy without you."
"Do not say that. Happiness is a choice. I did not spent much time miserable because I chose not to be. You can make that same choice."
"I do not wish to make it. I do not wish to be happy without you."
"Mr. Darcy! Be the man you have always chosen to be. You are a man who does what is right, no matter how much you might wish to do otherwise. Be that man now."
"I am not so good as you think. I am not a man who can walk away from you again."
"You must. I would bring you no money, and you know you must marry a woman with a fortune."
"You have saved Georgiana, I… I owe you what remains of her fortune. So you have brought me a fortune. Do not claim to be penniless. You are worth every fortune. I was a fool, a damned fool, to not see that before. I have cursed myself since I walked away from you."
"Mr. Darcy, I will not marry you. I still care for your interests, even if you have forgotten them. You will thank me eventually."
"What matters a fortune if a man be not happy? Elizabeth, I love you."
It hurt to refuse him again and again. Tears popped into Elizabeth's eyes. "I beg you — if you love me — I beg you to cease importuning me. Can you not see that it hurts me to refuse you?"
Darcy's blue eyes pierced her as he studied her face. Then without any dejection in his posture he nodded. "I will speak no more for now. But my sentiments will not change." He gestured for her to sit back down, and he pulled another chair near to sit in himself. "Has your stay in Ramsgate been pleasant, Miss Bennet? I can see you have loved the seaside. I dearly wish to hear your every observation."
Elizabeth shook her head and did not sit. "We cannot be friends, so long as we are near, you will never — the infatuation that has destroyed your reason will never end. You must marry. You must marry an heiress. You know you must, if you do not… If you do not, there is no purpose to… to my giving up what we have together."
"I cannot marry another. I love you. To do that, it would betray my own soul. I never could."
"That is why I must leave. We cannot be friends." Pain flared in her stomach, and she stared at Darcy. His face was tortured. She needed to leave.
Darcy's hand snapped out and grabbed Elizabeth's wrist, preventing her from walking away. They stared at each other; Darcy's pained blue eyes studied Elizabeth's.
Elizabeth started to pull her hand from his grasp. Darcy gasped out. "I promise! I only wish to be your friend. Do not leave, I shall marry an heiress. We can be friends."
Elizabeth could see Darcy was breathing heavily. His grip on her wrist was so tight it almost hurt. His voice was desperate. I shall marry an heiress. Elizabeth's shoulders slumped; she felt a tearing horror at the thought he would give up on her. There was something wild in Darcy's eyes.
Elizabeth nodded her head and sat down on the edge of the wicker chair. She was breathing hard as well. This was what she had demanded. It was what was best for him. Elizabeth closed her eyes and exhaled.
"No." Darcy's strong voice made Elizabeth's eyes snap open. His face had firmed and he now looked certain again. "That is not true. You may run from me, but I will not lie to you. I have never lied to a woman. I shall never marry another. Never. I could not marry another woman while I love you, and I cannot cease to love you."
"Then we must part." She did not try to rise or remove her hand from his.
"No. We must — marry me, Elizabeth. It matters not that — every other concern in my mind is gone. I only care for your happiness and company."
Elizabeth felt like she was trapped in a desert, dying of thirst, and his eyes were an oasis.
Elizabeth nearly said yes.
Then she remembered that eerie voice: Madam. I cannot. He had rejected her. And now he thought he could just change his mind, and then she'd kiss and embrace him again. Elizabeth shrieked, "You'll change your mind. You'll change it again."
Darcy flinched, and he released Elizabeth's wrist. Her arm missed his touch. He covered his mouth with his hand. "I understand."
"I showed you everything! I — I kissed you! Have you any idea how shamed I was when you rejected me? How… how —" She wished to lash out and punch those pretty eyes. "We were seen by a servant."
Darcy winced.
"Yes. A servant saw us. Have you any idea how angry my father was, what everyone said — " Darcy looked stricken and guilty. Good. Elizabeth hadn't been hurt by that, but she wanted him to think she had. "You planned to marry me. I felt it in your lips. I thought you cared for me. And then you changed your mind. When are you going to stick to a decision?"
Darcy stared at her, and she stared back. Her heart raced; she expected him to be offended by what she had said. Instead he almost looked pleased.
"You… damn you. How can you expect me to trust you?"
"I do not. Not yet. You shall see. Eventually you will accept that I have made my final choice. You are right to be angry. I hurt you terribly."
Elizabeth could not say anything. It was impossible to look away from the firm line of his face and the deep pools of his eyes. Darcy took one of her hands in both of his. They were warm and big.
He added, "I have been indecisive. But once committed, I do not waver. I shall follow you, so long as you care for me, I shall be near. When you change your mind, I shall be there. And if you force me to leave your presence, my soul will still seek yours out. My heart shall be absent from mine body and present where you reside."
"You cannot say that. You do not know how you shall feel in the future." She should force herself up. She should leave. She was decided; she would not marry him. He would regret it, and then they would both become miserable. He still thought he was making a mistake, and he would hate her eventually if they married. She should not pretend to be his friend. It was wrong, very wrong. She should leave him no hope.
"I love you. It is the firm, permanent truth."
"We can be friends; it would be awkward to run — you must promise me — promise me that if you have an opportunity to marry an heiress of good character, you shall at least think on it."
Darcy was silent; he continued to hold her hand. A twisted smile grew on Darcy's face. "Elizabeth, that is a ridiculous demand. What, precisely, comprises thinking about marrying this heiress who is not you? My affection for you shall not change."
He rubbed her hand between both of his. His fingers were muscular. He had small callouses where he held a quill and others where he held the reins of his horse. She did not draw back. Darcy ran a thumb over the skin of her wrist. It sent little shivers up her arms.
The heart pounding tension of the previous minutes drained away, leaving Elizabeth empty. His smile and words reminded her why she loved him. It was so comfortable to sit and let him massage her fingers.
"Well?" Darcy encouraged Elizabeth. He smiled again.
She smiled back. "I suppose you must ask yourself if those high sounding words are your true opinion still."
"I can promise to ask myself again if my heart still resides in your breast." Darcy's voice was soft, "I know it always shall."
Elizabeth forcefully pulled her hand from Darcy's grip. He was sending flutters through her stomach. "If we are to be friends, you must not seek to make love to me at every opportunity. We can be friends, but I cannot marry you. I cannot. Even if you do not waver, you still think it would be a mistake to marry me. Contrary to your goals and character."
"It is not contrary to my character or goals. I had mistaken who I am."
Elizabeth sighed.
"Very well," Darcy said. "I shall not make love to you frequently, but we shall talk a great deal. We are friends."