I don't own any of these characters or settings. i own very little. today i even lost two of my three remaining wisdom teeth...

Many thanks to my new BETA: RachaelShepard!

the title of today's chapter was stolen from the title of a Gomez song - new favourite band!

Chapter Seven

Chasing Ghosts with Alcohol.

o

Life is busy. My life is busy. Everyone is busy, and there is a safety in being busy. But we can't be busy all the time. Sometimes we have to stop, and then we're left with that empty feeling, where you have to start questioning things. So, you have to either think deeply about yourself (not a great option these days) or fill that emptiness with something else.

Meredith woke up to an empty house. She slept in to seven, and woke up without the help of an alarm clock. There was no stranger in her bed. No line for the bathroom. Her share of the daily coffee pot was sitting on the kitchen bench, cold. She smiled at her roommate's thoughtfulness. Meredith didn't know what to do.

While she'd been avoiding them for a while, she felt like she really needed Cristina and Izzie's advice. She felt better telling George, but she wanted some real help. None of them were off until tonight, leaving her to make her own plans on how to fill the rest of her day.

o

Meredith gave in after three hours of staring at the ceiling. She'd pulled her mobile out several times, but it was eleven o'clock before she found his number and keyed it into her phone

"Okay, so I have no life outside of work…and the people at work."

"I was going to blame in on being new in town…but it seems that you locals don't have anything to do either."

"That's not true…"

"It's all this rain."

"I quite like the rain.

"You like the rain?" he asked slowly, confounded, "I knew there was something strange about you."

"You know…" Meredith said coyly, "You're slowly driving your company away."

"Alright, alright!" he said, "but we're not going out in that!"

"Then come over here," she said, lying down on the couch, fiddling with the pockets on her trackies. "Bring some pizza."

"I've lived in New York for ten years." He said, "Any pizza that I get here would sacrilege."

"…Right." She said, "You'll figure something out."

She could tell he was about to protest, but she hung up before he could. She laughed, before realising that she had invited her pretend boyfriend over when she was still in her trackies and her house looked like a…pretend brothel. She sighed and started picking up Izzie's clothing.

o

The doorbell rang as Meredith was sorting through some of the tapes George had left out. She'd been distracted by the craniotomies and bypasses and she hadn't realised that time had passed at all. Still holding a shoebox full of videos she answered the door. There was Mark, with a parcel wrapped in newspaper that smelt distinctly like fish and chip.

"I was going to make an effort…" he motioned to his own tracksuit. "But since you're so dressed up, I won't apologise."

"You're funny." She said sarcastically, "If you weren't carrying a parcel of comfort food…I'd consider closing this door on you."

"Oh c'mon!" he said laughing, pushing the door slightly as he came in, knocking Meredith's shoe box and its contents on the floor. She sighed and bent down to pick up her mother's tapes.

"Oh, sorry" Mark said lightly, and bent down to help.

Meredith grabbed a Whipple tape and a gastrectomy and quickly returned them to the box. She reached out for the one next to her, expecting her hand to meet the black plastic case, instead she found the warm hand of her guest.

"Oh," she said, looking up at him.

There was a pause in all action as they both took a moment to admire the other. A grin grew on Meredith's face as the look did. He gently picked up the video and was about to put it to the side to…continue, when he spotted its label.

"A successful Lymphangiosarcoma?" he said, ruining the mood with his excitement, "You have this on tape?"

o

Bailey's interns were sprawled around on unused gurneys, in an effort to avoid their latest replacement.

"this Otterwal character is so demeaning." Cristina bitched "I don't know how he even passed med school. And you know what…no wonder he's temping. No hospital would want to deal with such a moron for prolonged periods of time."

"I didn't think he was that bad." George said, looking up from his text book, trying to reason

"No bambi, he was that bad." Cristina silenced him.

"I'm thinking of doing a dinner for Meredith." Said Izzie, trying to change the subject

"Invite Bourke." Cristina said,

"Really?" she asked, excited "cause I could really use a hand"

"He's doing a transplant tonight and won't be able to make it."

"But, you just told me…" Izzie started, confused

"I just can't have him parading around your kitchen like he's Iron Chef America." She interrupted, "this way, he'll be happy that his invited, and I'll be happy with take away."

"Trouble in paradise?" Alex chimed, sarcastically

"I'm not in the mood." Cristina said, stressed from the…lack of work

"We can see," Izzie said

"Could you do this?" Cristina pleaded "For me."

"I wanted to do something for Meredith," she said "it's not like her to take time off, and this whole…thing, must be hard."

"Sure," Cristina drawled, "It must be, having McDreamy and McSteamy fighting over you."

"Oh you know what I mean."

"Meredith is a naturally unhappy person." Cristina said "but you could be having an election night party, and as long as you invite Bourke I'd be happy."

"Everyone's invited." She said,

"Izzie, you're not having another house party." George warned

"I meant everyone here." She said, amused at his accusations, "Except Alex,"

"What?" he asked confused "you just said…"

"You should see your face…" she said

"That's hilarious." Cristina said sarcastically, putting a stop to the fliters

"It's not a big deal." Izzie said, ignoring Cristina, "I don't think it's going to be that great."

"Oh, we'll see." Alex said, moving up the bed next to Izzie, "I'm sure we could make it fun."

"Oh really?" Izzy asked with a giggle as she felt Alex breathing on her neck. Cristina was about to take action, when herself George and Alex were all paged.

"Awesome." Cristina said, excited

"No, not so good." George said, "This is the Shepard's Neuroblastoma baby."

"It's just Dr Montgomery-Shepard, McDreamy's still recovering." Cristina said

"Apparently McSteamy said it was ok for him to attend to patients, he just can't perform any surgeries for the next few days." Izzie replied

"Great, so his first case back is with the woman who…beat him up?" Cristina asked

"She didn't beat him up." Izzie said.

"Of course she didn't" Alex agreed, as he stood up and collected his pager and looked down the corridor after the other two interns began to move

"Thank you! Some one who agrees…" Izzie said as he turned and started to walk away

"They were just having really kinky sex!" Alex yelled as he walked. He had the last word.

o

"Hey, hey," Mark said, sitting up on the couch, "It's stopped raining."

"It tends to do that…" Meredith said, amused at his view of the city

"Let's do something." He suggested, looking around the room

"Like…"

"Well, how about a run?"

"A run?" Meredith asked, shocked "as in, like, an athletic activity?"

"Haven't since New York." He said, "gotta stay fit some how."

"You want me, to go on a run with you." She said, trying to understand him "now."

"Got the clothes, got the fat to burn off" he motioned to the empty chip packet, "got the shower afterwards…"

"Oh," Meredith said laughing. "I'm not a runner."

"No, you're a liar." He said standing up,

"I'm not a liar. When have I ever said that I was a runner?" she asked amusedly, crossing her arms and looking up at him from the couch.

"You didn't have to." He said, and picked up a trophy with an old plastic runner that was sitting on the book shelf, closest to the floor and read the inscription with a pleased grin. "Boston School's, under eighteen's cross country…second place…Not bad. I like a girl who's athletic...even if she's a liar."

o

Meredith took her time finding her shoes and ankle brace and even as they made their way outside to the track where she usually went. She wasn't too sure it was a good idea to run, especially with him. He looked fit…well, really he looked hot, but she was pretty confident that there was little difference. She'd never run with a man before, it was just the girls on her team at high school and university. She had to think about it carefully, as it was her job to set the pace. She hadn't competed in years, and she was used to running slowly with Cristina…she wasn't looking forward to the challenge. She wasn't too sure of how fast he normally ran, but judging by his size, he wasn't a long distance runner. She started slow and they gently built up as they neared the creek. She was pushing her self, but she missed that adrenalin rush that you get when you are really racing. The path wasn't wide, but he ran next to her. They had the same gait, and while the pace was easier for him, she could hear his heavy, rhythmic breathing, confirming that he was still getting a work out. She kept an eye on him, but allowed herself to not to think. As she focused on each careful step, and lifting her leg the same time he did, she noticed how comfortable she was…and that she hadn't been so comfortable in a while.

O

The three interns stood in a disorderly line beside the patient's bed. The parents were sitting next to the crib, the mother allowing her child to hold her finger while the father looked on. This would have been a normal pre-op talk if it hadn't been for the uncomfortable formality between the married pair of attendings.

"Who's presenting?"

"Oliver Peacock," George recited "one month, presented with mass in the brain."

"Very nice Dr O'Malley." Derek replied, surveying the interns out of his left eye. "Due to the patient's age, what would be our first assumption?"

"uh. A neuroblastoma?" Cristina asked, eagerly

"And what is…"

"being?" they said at the same time, leaving an awkward silence as both attendings pretended that they didn't interrupt each other.

"It's a malignant tumor, that's composed of neuroblasts." Cristina quoted, quickly "it originates in the autonomic nervous system."

"Well done Dr Yang," Derek said "How would you diagnose?"

"I'd get a blood test, then a CT and an MRI and if that indicates that there is a mass, a biopsy to confirm." She replied proudly and then returned to her silent intern line

"Mrs. Peacock," Derek said, turning to the parents "I know you didn't understand a lot of that," they nodded silently "but I'll leave you with Dr Shepard, and she'll explain it to you. She's a…She's a good doctor." Everyone noticed his hesitation, and no one said anything as he silently left the room, and more importantly, Addison, to tell the parents that there was a large chance that their infant would die.

o

There was a harvest surgery in OR 2 and Izzie was lucky enough to scrub in. Dr Bourk was normally unreadable while he was operation, but as soon as he opened the chest cavity Izzie could see the frustration on his face: There was not supposed to be that much damage to the left ventricle. He sighed and took a step away from the brain dead donor.

"that heart wouldn't last three months." He explained with a sigh to his intern

"why didn't that show up in the tests?" She asked, quietly

"any number of reasons," he replied, removing the liver and placing it into the eskie that Izzie was holding, "There were small irregularities in the O2 count. I was hoping it was just a complication from the accident, but I don't think we'll be performing a transplant tonight."

Izzie didn't have a moral decision to make.

"Dr Bourke," she asked quietly, "Cristina wanted me to invite you to dinner at our house, tonight."

"She asked?" he looked up from his kidney harvest, surprised

"yeah," she replied, assuring herself that she wasn't lying

"You're not cooking again Dr Stevens?" He asked, with a new-found happiness

"I…I was just going to do something simple." She said,

"Well…I do a very nice grilled fish." He offered

o

Two cars pulled up outside the house in a quick succussion, and the carpooling surgeons emerged slowly after their long day. Cristina and Burke walked behind Alex and Izzie and both couples waited for the single George to open the door. He struggled with the keys, just wanting to get away from all the pairs and into to see Meredith…who said that she liked him. She liked him. Even after he embarrassed her in front of everyone. She didn't really like Dr Shepard and she wasn't really dating Dr Sloan…and she said that she really liked him.

"Any time today?" Cristina asked sarcastically. Not only was she waiting in the cold but her plan had backfired and she was waiting with Burke who spent the car ride telling her about the fish he was planning on cooking.

"Yeah…" George said, coming out of his daze and in quickly trying to open the door he dropped his keys.

"Oh god!" Cristina yelled, frustrated "Get out of my way." And she quickly bent down to pick up the keys

"Cristina?" Burke warned gently

"What?" she asked, whilst opening the door. "We we're never going to get in!"

Alex and Izzie pushed passed the couple and George slowly followed.

"There's no point having a cheer up Meredith dinner if we can't get in the door! And anyway…" But Cristina didn't finish her sentence.

Everyone was standing in the door way to the lounge room. Staring at Meredith and Mark, on the couch. They weren't having drunken sad person sex. They were…cuddling on the couch, watching a medical procedure.

"Dr Sloan…" Burke started slowly, unaware of Meredith's involvement with his co-worker."

"It's Mark." He said, propping Meredith up as he got up to shake Burke's hand in the corridor.

"Why are you all here?" Meredith asked her fellow interns from the couch

"Dinner." Izzie said, awkwardly "I'm…I'm just going to go and make dinner."

"I'll help…" George said numbly, following Izzie as she left for the kitchen

"You didn't by any chance drink that bottle of vodka I stashed at thanksgivings?" Cristina asked quickly

"What Vodka?" Meredith asked, confused by the whole situation.

"Thank god!" Cristina said and eagerly went to retrieve her booze, leaving Meredith staring at Alex.

"What's going on?" she asked, confused

"This is Izzie's…make you feel better dinner." Alex said, putting his hands into his pockets, "Although it seems that she's been…beaten to it."

"I never asked for this." Meredith whispered, frustrated

"You're going to tell her that?"

"No." she looked up at him, "I gotta sort this out…don't I?"

"Well, you don't have to," he said offhandedly.

"That isn't helping," she said with a sigh, getting up and leaving Alex to stare at the pioneering laparoscopic pancreas surgery.

o

There was no one in the corridor, and Meredith wasn't sure where the dinner party in her honour had migrated. She didn't know what she was going to do. She didn't want to send Mark home, but he didn't seem to be as popular with surgeons as he was with nurses. She really didn't want to end a nice day on such a bad note…especially when she'd have to sit through what would undoubtedly be a very awkward dinner alone.

Meredith stepped into the kitchen just in time to see Mark juggling four eggs, much to the delight of his audience. Burke was rifling through the refrigerator, and emerged with three eggs of his own.

"I haven't juggled in a while." Burke said. He steaded him self, and then starting by throwing an egg under his left leg and seamlessly incorporating it into his juggling routine.

"That's not juggling!" Mark laughed, and stopped juggling to reach for his fifth egg. "This is juggling!"

"Oh god," Cristina said, standing in the door, cheaply holding the vodka bottle. "I think I prefer Iron chief…this is celebrity circus! And that show is so tasteless."

"They're not celebrities Cristina," Meredith said with a smile, absently distracted by the antics in her kitchen.

"Like you ever know anyone on those shows." She said sourly, taking another swig from the bottle and staring maliciously at Burke, "you're just jealous cause…mine's better!"

"Cristina, seriously?" Meredith turned around with a grin. "That is going straight to your head."

"oh," she said, "I'm sorry I'm not a hardened alcoholic! But I value my liver a little bit more then…"

But she stopped as the kitchen erupted with screams and laughter: Burke had dropped an egg and Mark was celebrating by running around the kitchen.

"You were saying?" Meredith asked her friend, before going to join in the festivities.

o

Burke had donned an apron and was ordering the two eager interns around the kitchen. All chiefs were busy ordering or obeying orders and shouting out various facts about fish cooking back at their attending. They were too busy trying to impress to notice the remaining guests who were seated at the table. Mark and Meredith were chatting and laughing at one end and Cristina was experiencing an early mid-life crisis at the other. Meredith got up and mentioned something about the bathroom, leaving Cristina staring at Mark.

"Ok," she said sliding across the chairs until she was directly opposite Mark. "We have to talk."

"Hit me."

"Okay," Cristina said cringing drunkenly "it's just that…and the whole nurse's thing… and that adultery thing."

"Excuse me?"

"Right now I'm not your sub-ordinate. I'm Meredith's friend, who's starting to experience varying symptoms of intoxication…giving me the…responsibility to tell you what I think."

"You're not going to regret this?" Mark asked calmly

"The whole making her happy thing…" she started, ignoring his warning "it's great, really…and unexpected. But she is a stupid, stupid girl, who makes some pretty stupid mistakes. You better not be one of them."

"Well," Mark said slowly, with a sigh. "You don't know me. And I don't think your giving your friend any credit."

"I don't have to. And you…" she said, staring at him as hard as she could with vodka's help "You can screw wives…or nurses or whatever. Just don't screw around with Meredith."

"What are you guys saying about me?" Meredith asked innocently, returning to the room.

"Sorry?" Christina slurred, turning around

"You said my name." She pointed out, sitting down next to Mark

"Did I?"

"I think you've had enough of that." Meredith said, and pried the bottle from Cristina's grasp, only to take a large swig herself.

"Dinner's ready." Burke called, bringing two plates over for Cristina and Meredith.

"So," Mark said to Burke, looking to the two women on either side of him. "What's with Seattle's interns and alcohol abuse?"

o

We all have times when the glass that represents our life might only be half empty or half full. The question is not about optimism, but how you choose to re-fill you glass. Do you pour yourself a glass of vodka? Or do you let someone else top it up? And so what if there are added bonuses in repairing? We just have to enjoy ourselves until we drink our glass down again.

Please review! it makes me feel good, and now that my face resembles a chipmonk's, i need all the feel good i can get!