I'm back!
Really.
I'm also sorry...how can i ever make it up to you?
Disclaimer: I don't own it...nope nothing...except, a lot of my ideas have been popping up recently - its purely coincidental. i think i'll write a massive topless scene...mm wouldn't that be nice: 'what do you mean there are no male scrub tops?' 'in the entire hospital?' 'nope nothing'
title is take from a Joe Purdy song...you all know it!
big thanks to rdrherrera for taking to time to look over this!
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okay quick recap. Mark and Meredith started/pretended to go out to break up the Shepard's marriage. It worked, but now Mark has feelings for Meredith and Derek has left his wife for the lusty intern. George was being paged constantly, all over the hospital, and to make matters worse a cute nurse from the third floor keeps flirting with him. Cristina's having Burke issues. Meredith always has issues, and goes to drown her sorrows at the bar, only to meet her new drinking Buddie: Addison...and a bad case of food poisning. Mark and Derek had a punch on in the car park, and seem to be getting along. Did I mention that Alex and Addison started hooking up the the bar bathroom? 'cause i should.
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Chapter 13
I Love the Rain the Most
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"So if you just sign here, you'll be free to go Dr Grey." The Nurse said with a smile. Meredith just smiled back. And then promptly scrawled her name on the line at the bottom of paper in front of her. She didn't need to read it; it was the same as every other sheet that she had given happily to a patient
"Oh, Dr Bailey wanted me to tell you that it's probably best if you didn't drive home." The nurse said, taking the pen off Meredith and putting the lid on it, "is there anyone I can call?"
"Well…" Meredith started, but she couldn't finish. There was no one that she could call that could drop everything and come and pick her up. The only people she knew were all at work. They were in the same building, but might as well be on the other side of the planet. She smile up at the nurse, "I think I'll be fine."
"There's no one?" The nurse asked, "You really can't drive, you've had a lot of drugs through your system.'
"There's people…" She replied defensively, but she knew that there was no one in her life that wasn't inside this hospital, that could pull themselves away at the drop of a hat to take her home. She didn't blame them of course, if she had the choice she'd be in the exact same place.
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You can spend years preparing for something and when it comes just let it whoosh right past you. No matter how much work you have done, you have to make that step for anything to count. It is surprising what you can do when you have to…and how little most of us will do when we don't have to. And you can tell yourself what ever you want, but that opportunity's slipped through your fingers.
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Cristina, Izzie sat around the table in a conversation deadlock. They were too consumed in their own problems to even bother contemplating each other's.
"Oh I'm so glad I found you!" Meredith exclaimed as she walked out into open cafeteria.
"You feeling better?" Izzie asked, still quiet.
"Much…" Meredith replied as she sat down.
"That's good." Cristina said absently
"What's going on?" Meredith look between her two friends
"Nothing…" Izzie replied quickly
Meredith just raised her eyebrows, "nothing?"
"Should something be going on?" Izzie asked innocently
"It's just that…" Meredith started, but was interrupted by the sound of two pagers simultaneously going off.
"911…" Cristina said, standing up quickly, "c'mon Izzie we have to go."
"Yeah," the blond replied, quickly fixing her hair, and turning to Meredith before she left "you should go too."
Meredith just sighed. There was no way she was going to find a lift home.
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Meredith had sat in the cafeteria all morning. Staff would come in and out of the building and ask her how she was doing and to tell her to go home (although none would take the extra step of dropping her there.) Cristina had joined her in an effort to both avoid Burke and surreptitiously get a head start on the hospital gossip.
"I asked them to work it out." Meredith moaned into her coffee
"Which was such a good idea!" Cristina replied sarcastically
"It's not my job to talk to them. I asked them to figure it out. They're friendly and they've had their…fight…they'll come to me."
"How long ago…"
"Four days." Meredith sighed, "I don't want to push him…do I?"
"Do you want an answer?" the Asian intern drawled
"If he had one, he'd come and talk to me."
"Ooh. Who's he?" Izzie asked, as she sat down at the table
"Yeah, who were you talking about?" Cristina realised
"So." Meredith looked awkwardly from one intern to the other "How's Burke?"
"Oh, don't even try and change the subject." Cristina warned with a sly laugh
"What have you done to Dr Burke?" Izzie was interested
"Look what you've started." Cristina sighed,
"He thinks she's becoming predictable." Meredith explained with a smile "so she wants to surprise him
"You know I'm just not going to do it." Cristina said, "I am a different interesting person, I tried very hard to be different and look at what he's doing to me? He's putting me into a box!"
"Maybe it's good that he knows you?" Izzie suggested
"Maybe he expects me to do something different, so I should just remain the same…"
"Seriously?" Meredith laughed
"A box Meredith!" Cristina moaned, "that's me, and he is pushing me inside!"
"Dr Grey?" Addison spotted the intern from across the cafeteria floor
"Dr…Montgomery." Meredith replied, surprised.
"You're alright?" The Surgeon asked as she approached the table.
"Oh yeah. Discharged this morning" The intern said, noticing the awkwardness growing at the table "You're allowed to practice?"
"Not strictly," Addison gave a smile "But being an attending does have its advantages."
"Sure." Meredith replied, glancing awkwardly at Izzie, causing the attending to do the same.
"Well, just want to see if you're okay. Which you are. 'Cause it was kind of my fault. Really." Addison struggled to get the words out. "Well, I'm just going to go."
"Oh, okay." Meredith wasn't as surprised as she sounded "see you 'round."
"Bitch…" Izzie whispered as soon as the attending was out of earshot "Who does she think she is?"
"C'mon Izzie." Cristina warned
"I want to kill him." The blond replied angrily
"I probably could have stopped it." Meredith said slowly
"When you were unconscious on the floor of the bar?" Cristina asked sarcastically
"She said something about the past or the future and Alex being or not being in it…" Meredith tried to remember
"Really deep." Cristina replied before returning to Izzie
"Is it cause I'm not pretty?" Izzie asked "or am I not successful enough for him?"
"George!" Meredith yelled as she spotted the other intern from across the other side of the courtyard. The other two turned their heads just in time to see George make a quick glance to their table and make a very awkward goodbye with a smiling nurse from the third floor.
"Is she giggling?" Cristina asked disgustedly
"Is he flirting?" Meredith replied
"I think that's George flirting…" Izzie said surprisedly, but suppressed it as George approached the table. "Who's that nurse?"
"What nurse?" He asked, placing his tray table down and bracing himself for the barrage of questions
"I think she likes you!" Meredith said,
"Who me?" He replied as casually as he could
"Who's the nurse?" Izzie asked again.
"Oh you mean Jodie?" he asked
"She's still giving you the eye George." Cristina teased, still looking at where her intern friend had been
"Stop staring." George hissed, unwrapping his sandwich and throwing the wrapper at Cristina
"Jodie, huh?" Izzie teased, "Why haven't I heard about her before?"
"Oh, you know…" George tried to shrug her off, "it's nothing serious."
"Don't look now George," Cristina teased, "but lover girl's coming this way"
"If you say anything…" He warned as Jodie approached
"George, I was just wondering if you could pick me up at eight instead of seven see I have a shift that…" but she stoped as she suddenly noticed the stares from the three amused women sitting around the table.
"That's fine." George replied quickly, "I'll see you at eight then?"
"Great…" She replied, and quickly darted out of the cafeteria. Although not quite quick enough to miss the cries of laughter and teasing that erupted from her new date's table.
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Why do we lie to ourselves? Why do we make excuses for not doing something that we should? It's because we're afraid. Afraid we won't find love. Afraid that if we do have it we'll loose it and then if we don't have it that we'll be unhappy.
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Meredith decided to follow rounds. There was nothing else to do and her still being here was Bailey's fault. The first patient was a mildly attractive man, with some sort of foot injury, younger patients we always more exciting then the elderly ones.
"Patient is Cameron Roberts, twenty four, base jumping accident." Izzie presented
"Base jumping?" Cristina raised an eyebrow
"Rush of your life." He replied, with a smile
"Okay Stevens, patch him up and then send him down to ortho for that ankle" Dr Bailey ordered, absently reading the chart, "and then get him in the line for a CT,"
"Right." Izzie replied, as the group turned to leave. She grabbed Meredith's arm. "Help me out here?"
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"You're not going to go back are you?" Meredith asked as Izzie did the first suture
"Yeah…" The patient replied
"But you could've died…" Izzie said.
"I'm not dead am I?" he replied simply
"No."
"Just a little bit of pain…and what's that in three months time?"
"Aren't you just a little bit afraid?" Meredith asked
"That's the point." He replied
"Sorry?"
"Why else would a person throw themselves off a bridge or a mountain?" He said with a laugh, "It's about the rush, the fear, the adrenaline."
"You enjoy being afraid?" Meredith was confused.
"No." The base jumper replied "Your only rationally afraid of something life-changing happening to you…and what would life be like if it never changed? I don't enjoy being afraid; I enjoy what I get when I face my fears. After you take that leap…you're flying. You're a human being and you're flying. And that fear that you were feeling before…it means nothing once you step off that cliff."
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Meredith had all the interns meet her again for lunch. If the weren't going to take her home they could at least keep her company.
"Okay, so I think someone's been stalking me." George said, relieved to get it off his chest
"Someone'd want to stalk you?" Cristina laughed
"Shut up!"
"No really Bambi," She replied, trying to hold it back "I'm intrigued."
"Well, I think I know who it is." He said uncomfortably "Do I talk to them?"
"Who is it?" Izzie said, "If it's some giant orderly…I'd go less talk and more restraining order."
"No, I think it's one of the nurses on the third floor." George said slowly
"You're afraid of talking to a nurse?" Cristina sniggered
"she's not just a nurse…"
"Oh my god it's the nurse!" Izzie exclaimed
"What's this?" Alex asked, sitting down at the table
"George has a…" But Cristina couldn't finish; as Izzie promptly tried to leave the table left the table
"Izzie…" Meredith grabbed her arm
"Why'd you do it?" the blond intern asked Alex angrily "is it the attending thing? Cause that's been done before and we can all see how far it's got them!"
"Hey!" Meredith protested, releasing Izzie
"I'm going." Izzie said frostily, batting away Meredith arm "Don't touch me!"
"Well," George said, trying to fill the subsequent silence "Cristina I guess it's just you me and the two passengers on the Shepard train. By the way…." The intern looked between Alex and Meredith "How's that working out for you?"
"I don't know what you're talking about O'Malley." Alex replied smugly
"Seriously Alex. I was there." Meredith raised her eyebrows
"I don't kiss and tell." Alex said, finishing with his mocking smile
"Alex she almost threw up in your mouth!" Meredith said, "That's the kinda thing you tell."
George was about to go in for the kill when he suddenly caught Alex's eye. They shared a little secret and sudden George wasn't at liberty to say anything demeaning to the other intern.
"Is it bad if the girl you're dating happens to be your stalker?" George asked, returning to his niggling problem
"If she has to stalk you man, your obviously not giving her enough." Alex replied smuggle through a mouthful of lunch
"So would you still date Burke if he stalked you?" George asked Cristina
"Ah no."
"McDreamy or McSteamy?"
"What and complicate it more?" Cristina laughed
"It's complicated enough as it is without them stalking me…actually I might see them a little more." Meredith said
"It could be helpful." Cristina replied, knowing just how much of a lost cause Meredith was
"Would you still be doing Addison if she was you stalker?"
"Well she's Mc Hot." Alex said simply
"Oh that's just great." Cristina said, "If she's attractive she can do what she wants?"
"Pretty much."
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Meredith sat outside the Gallery, waiting for the next surgery. Dr burke was doing a valve replacement which was bound to be exciting. She sighed, fiddling with her silent pager, whishing for someone to talk to. Izzie found her ten minutes later.
"So who are you with?" Izzie asked excitedly
"Who am I with?" Meredith asked as if she wasn't expecting the question,
"As in currently dating, Meredith."
"Well…"
"No way!" Izzie laughed at her friend's procrastination efforts, "just pick one they're obviously not going to do it."
"Izzie." Meredith protested, "This is not talk about Meredith's problems day. I have just been discharged, I was hospitalised. I was sick. I was a patient. I had a chart that people look at and nurses telling me what to do. Can't I have just one day off? One day when we don't all have to discuss my problems every time we talk? And any way...you were the one who walked off."
"I don't want to talk about it." Izzie replied, her mood changing instantly
"See, you know what it feels like. Now we're even…" but as soon as Meredith spoke, the conversation stopped.
"We don't have anything else to talk about?" Izzie asked into the silence, "do we?"
"No…" Meredith sighed. "I take it that you can't take me home yet?"
"No." Izzie replied, glancing up at the clock on the wall, "Have to take Mr Roberts down to radiology…"
"Of course…" Meredith sighed, as her friend left her in her seat. She was never going to leave this hospital.
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With all the spare time that Meredith had she had not only watched almost every surgery but also formulated an idea. She called everyone down (except Alex) to the cafeteria again to share.
"So we all have something we need to do." Meredith said, looking around the table
"There's no need to do anything," Cristina pointed out, "that's the idea behind procrastination."
"You like to gamble…" Meredith started
"You like to drink." Cristina retorted, taking offence
"No, I mean, lets make a wager." Meredith replied, exasperated "bets on who the first person will be to…just do it."
"Ok I'll do twenty-five on Alex making a move on Dr Montgomery and being turned down." Izzie said angrily, causing the others to share an uncomfortable glance
"Do we have to bet on the outcome as well?" George said, eyeing the green note on the table.
"Ok." Cristina said, pulling out her wallet, "I bet you," she pointed to Izzie, "will crack with all that…anger you're holding in and will have a yelling match with Alex in the corridor."
"Excuse me?"
"What outcome?" Meredith asked, eyeing Izzie nervously
"Depends if Alex sees the possibility of make up sex…" Cristina said, matter of factly
"You have seriously lost all of that." Izzie replied moodily
"I bet on Cristina." George said quickly, trying to change the subject "She doesn't like to loose."
"Oh and she's not going to." The intern in question replied indignantly, taking all the money off the table and putting it in her left scrubs pocket as she stood up.
"Hey!" Meredith protested, also standing up "Stop running off with the pot!"
"I have money in there too!" George joined in
"I have to go and get…" Cristina pointed awkwardly to Izzie "money."
"It's okay…" Izzie said, grabbing her empty cup and leaving the group "just pretend I don't exist…he did!"
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They found Alex in the halls.
"I'll go with O'Malley." Alex said, passing Cristina a note between two fingers, "That dude needs some action."
"So that's what…two for George and none for me?" Meredith asked, slightly hurt "What is it about me that makes you think I have no backbone?"
"Well…this has been going on for how long?" Cristina asked
"And you haven't done anything yet." George said
"A little bit of faith?" She asked timidly
"Sorry, my faith is not worth twenty-five bucks…" Cristina replied
"How about a ride home?" Meredith tried, looking too the rest of her friends
"I gotta go Meredith…" George replied
"Surgery." Cristina chimed, leaving abruptly
"Don't look at me." Alex said as he was left alone with Meredith. "I have something to do too."
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Derek had found Addison down in the NiCU. He never asked for advice and she never offered it. But some how she was the least objective person that he could talk to.
"Ok." Addison said, staring at the baby "here's how I see it: The old Mark wouldn't care about you or even if Meredith loved you, he'd just take what he wanted. But now, that you are friends again…and I want to know what's going on there. He's changed. And he doesn't want to hurt either of you. Meredith is steadily killing off any brain cells she has left to make this decision with, and can't decided with so much hanging over her head like this."
"What are you saying Addison?" Derek asked quickly
"That it's all on you Derek." Addison replied simply, removing her finger from the baby's grasp and looking straight at her ex-husband. "You have the opportunity to make her happy, to make her more upset, or to have Mark back…"
"This isn't about Mark." He replied quickly
"Sure it isn't." Addison said sarcastically "But, seriously and not to bring up us…but you didn't choose her when you had the chance. There must have been some real reason."
"I was married."
"Oh c'mon Derek." Addison reasoned, "I had cheated on you and you had moved out of our house. You were so pissed off you had to move to an entirely different state! We weren't talking, you weren't wearing your ring, I seamed to remember you not wanting me here, trying to get Richard to send me back home and for some reason…you preferred that over her."
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Izzie spotted Alex on the upper tier and looking out at the large glass windows as the clouds approached the hospital. He looked calm and almost happy. And that just wasn't fair.
"So, you and Dr Shepard?" Izzie said icily, standing next to him looking out the same window
"It's Dr Montgomery." Alex corrected, absently
"We weren't finished Alex." She replied, turning to face him
"Okay then" He said, reading himself for the fight "what were we?"
"You can't go and screw any woman in a bar and then expect to come back to me."
"We didn't have sex." He said defensively
"But you were going to."
He didn't reply
"What were we to you?"
"We weren't anything Izzie!" Alex said, dejectedly "You had a chance to make us something…and you didn't. I can't keep waiting."
"When were you going to say that, huh?"
"I did."
"No you didn't!"
"Izzie…"
"You didn't!"
"Look Izzie," Alex sighed, as he turned to leave "I don't expect you to take me back…"
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That evening Derek found Mark in his office.
"I scheduled the OR for eight o'clock tonight."
"Tonight?" Mark asked, looking over his paperwork "Aren't you leaving it a little late?"
"The bleeding slowed, the board is crazy and then he is exactly eight years and one day."
"So his head's fine?"
"We relieved some of the pressure the other night. MRI was good, I'll have to remove a miniscule clot, but I think he'll be fine. You can do his nose at the same time."
"Wow." Mark said with a slight smile "there's something we haven't done in a while…"
"Yeah…" Derek paused "you love her don't you?"
"I said that Derek," Mark laughed "C'mon, I didn't hit you that hard."
"No, be serious Mark."
"I am serious Derek."
"Right." Derek sighed, "Well how ever this goes…I want her to be happy."
"That makes two of us."
"Yeah…well do your best." The neurosurgeon said, and quickly exited
"Derek?" Mark got up and yelled down the corridor
"See you at eight Mark." He replied without turning around
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Normally on Thursdays, Alex would catch a lift with Izzie. He ran in to work, so he didn't have his car. It was her idea. One would wait for the other and they'd go out, still in their scrubs, and get some fast food and talk. Well, Alex wasn't all that interested in the hospital gossip, but he liked what happened afterwards. He probably should have though about it before leaving his car at home. As he stared out into the Seattle rain, he realised that she wasn't going to meet him. And that wasn't a good sign.
A small car drove up to the entrance. It was a woman's car. The kind that Alex knew was worth a perve at the lights. The door to the passenger side opened and Alex heard a very distinctive voice from inside
"Get in the car Karev!"
"Dr Shepard…" He approached the car
"No talking," She said, leaning over the passenger seat so Alex could see her "this is going straight to my hotel, take it or leave it."
Alex took it.
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George took Meredith's four-wheel drive. Izzie had suggested it as a mean of appearing more masculine, but he was still trying to understand why Meredith would drive a stick. He pulled up outside Jodie's apartment and she was standing under the patio waiting for him, but before he could even find the umbrella she had quickly jumped into the car.
"It's a little wet outside." She said with a laugh
"I was trying to find the umbrella." George replied, "I just don't know where Meredith keeps it…"
"Dr Grey?" Jodie asked, "Is this her car?"
"Yeah, I mean no," George struggled, "I mean I have a car…it's just…at the mechanics"
"Alright." She said with a slight laugh, "what are we waiting for."
"Oh right…" George said, and moved to turn the keys in the ignition, but couldn't. "I just have to know…"
"What George?"
"Have…have you been stalking me?" He stuttered
"What!" Her voice changed instantly
"Paging me, incessantly…at all hours of the day!"
"You think I did that?" she asked angrily
"You were the only one there at geriatrics when I was paged the other day." George tried "Who else could it be?"
"I wasn't the only one in that room Dr O'Malley." She said heatedly, grabbing her handbag, "But I'll tell you what, you're going to be the only one at that dinner reservation."
"Jodie…" George started, but it was too late. She had already gone out into the rain, slamming Meredith's car door into his face.
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The house was filled with the sounds of rain on roof and little else. Meredith had come home and had changed into something more comfortable. As she came down the stairs she smelt the all too familiar smell of baked goods and raced into the kitchen.
"Meredith he wasn't just being a man-slut." Izzie said slowly, as she stared at the chocolate cake, still in its tin on the chopping board.
"No…Izzie, look…"
"No he wanted a relationship and I didn't…" She tried to hold back her tears
"Really?" Meredith said sympathetically "So then this is a good thing?"
"It's not a good thing…" Izzie started, but was interrupted by a knock at the door.
"That date must have gone well." Meredith sighed
"Other people suck…" Izzie replied, "Tell him I have some cake."
Meredith slowly left the kitchen for George. Surprised that he didn't have his key, especially when he though he was going to be out a little later. She was surprised again:
"Hey" Mark said as Meredith opened the door on him, still in his scrubs but with a black leather jacket over the top
"Hey."
"How are you feeling?" He asked
"Much better." She smiled
"That's good."
"Do you want to come in?"
"I've actually got another surgery in twenty minutes."
"Oh, right." Meredith said, awkwardly "so um, why are you…
"Here? Right here? Now?" He asked seriously
"Yeah…"
"Because I hate Seattle. No one I know does anything on the weekends. You can't cook pizza and there's all this hype about the coffee but nothing I've tasted could beat the stand that was on the corner of my block and you people gave the world starbucks. You can't go through one day at this hospital without finding out about everyone else's sex lives in repulsive detail. The city is dead by one o'clock in the morning." He stopped and smiled "But I love it. I love the hospital food. I love knowing what Kyle in Radiology would do if he were me. I love that Seattle has this crazy hospital. And all this rain…I love the rain the most."
"The rain?" Meredith asked amusedly
"Oh yeah." He flashed her a cheeky smile, and pulled something out of his pocket "There's also this intern, who left a stethoscope behind the other day…I don't mind her either."
"I've been looking everywhere for that! I though I was going to have to buy another one!" She said, before realising why he might really be there "Are you going to?"
"Do you want me to?"
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The chief's fishbowl office was the same as ever. Derek knew immediately why the chief had asked to see him. Gossip travels faster then the speed of light in this place. Talking to the chief would mean that he'd have to make up his mind, and Derek didn't know if he could do that right now.
"I hear you have until tomorrow to make up your mind, I would have though that you'd talk to me about this Derek?"
"It's been a messy week Chief." He sighed
"Have you made up your mind?" Dr Webber pressed
"I'm still considering my options."
"Well are you going to ask me if you can leave?" the chief of surgery was slightly hurt.
"What would you say?" Derek replied
"I'd like to say no. That you one of the greatest surgeons this hospital's ever seen." Richard stopped, "Hang on…You're not just doing this so that I'll promise you chief of surgery over burke?"
"No." Derek laughed
"It'd be a shame to loose you Derek, and I'll do all that I can in order to let you stay. But there's no point if you're just going to be unhappy. You're a better surgeon when you happy. And I could understand if you can't do so here."
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"You can't just come here with nothing worked out Mark." Meredith warned, "I'm not an easy girl."
"No your not." He agreed with a wry laugh
"Have you…" She started
"I really want to kiss you."
"Have you?" She repeated
"I could have given that stethoscope back days ago." He said slowly moving out to his car. Not bothering to even react to the rain "but I chose to do it now."
Meredith took one glance back in to warmth of the house, before running out into her front yard. He'd stopped outside his car, and she ran up next to him, staring up at him as the rain started to find her. Tiny droplets hitting her scalp and cascading through her hair.
"I hoped that you picked it up." She said, quietly, both of them staring at each other as the rain began to soak their clothing.
They couldn't wait any longer. She grabbed him and kissed him, running her fingers through his damp hair. The warmth of his body was a stark contrast to the cold of the rain. She pulled back and looked up at him, both beaming at each other.
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Some people stand out in the rain. Others just get wet.
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And meredith and mark? they stand out in the rain!!
I'm not as happy with this as i have been with other chapters...but i HAD to write something, so this is what you get. Sorry. There will be more...and it's going to get a hullava lot more complicated!
I know I've been bad with my lack of updates...I don't deserve your reviews (but it doesn't mean that i don't still love you!)