Disclaimer: For better or worse, Dolores Umbridge belongs to JK Rowling.

Chapter 13: Umbridge

Nicolas Flamel

"There's no need to throw our new professors in the deep end today, I think," Umbridge said. "I'll go ahead and read the next chapter…Chapter Thirteen: Nicolas Flamel."

"…Harry wished he could forget what he'd seen in the mirror as easily, but he couldn't. He started having nightmares. Over and over again he dreamed about his parents disappearing in a flash of green light while a high voice cackled with laughter."

Harry frowned. He really didn't think the Mirror had messed him up, but that definitely wouldn't look good, although the nightmares did start to go away when he was distracted by Quidditch training, though he had a whole new nightmare when Oliver Wood dropped the bombshell that Snape would be refereeing the next Quidditch match. Many of the younger students were surprised by that even now. They'd never seen anyone but Madam Hooch referee a Quidditch match, and the thought of Snape on a broomstick was so incongruous that it still seemed a little bit surreal.

"'Don't play,' said Hermione at once.

"'Say you're ill,' said Ron.

"'Pretend to break your leg,' Hermione suggested.

"'Really break your leg,' said Ron."

Hermione smacked her forehead at how stupid both of their suggestions were. Madam Pomfrey would be able to see through most such ruses at once even if Harry were inclined to do it. If was funny to see how small their first-year problems seemed now, but then again, they had truly believed Snape was trying to kill Harry at the time.

They were interrupted from their worrying, however, by Neville, who had been cursed by Malfoy with the Leg-Locker Curse and had somehow hopped up four flights of stairs and climbed through the portrait hole with his legs stuck together. Unfortunately, Hermione was the only one who didn't laugh at him and undid the curse, to the shame of Neville's friends now, although Ron and Harry had been suitably indignant.

But that line of thought was also interrupted when Harry found Nicolas Flamel's name on Dumbledore's Chocolate Frog card, and Hermione made the connection with alchemy and the Philosospher's Stone from her "light reading". Harry and Hermione both felt embarrassed that the answer had been staring them in the face for months, and they'd missed it. Their younger selves promptly concluded that Snape was trying to steal the Stone, but as they didn't know he had been a Death Eater, they thought it was merely out of greed. Snape did not look impressed by this conclusion.

"So it was the Philosopher's Stone," Umbridge said. "And just why was such a valuable and desirable artifact hidden in a school full of children when someone was attempting to steal it?"

"It was a personal favour on Dumbledore's part to Nicolas Flamel," McGonagall said. "Master Flamel believed the Stone was at risk, and Hogwarts is regarded as the safest place in Britain, after all."

"But surely, locked away in a forbidden corridor behind a cerberus that would be all too easy to put down? That we have already seen was far too easy for students to get into? Surely there were better options to hide such an artifact even within Hogwarts—ones that would not put the students at such risk. Did you not address these concerns at the time, Professor McGonagall?"

"I…did raise my concerns with the Headmaster at the time, Dolores," she replied. "I was overruled and assured that he had the matter in hand."

"Hmm…I wonder if a closer investigation of your story would stand up to scrutiny. I understand many of the teachers were involved in that incident, including the one who ultimately attempted to steal the Stone."

"As we discussed before," McGonagall said, "the greatest oversight in that affair was the failure to place an Age Line or a stronger Locking Charm on the corridor, and that was Dumbledore's prerogative."

"Dumbledore's and Professor Flitwick's, I believe," Umbridge corrected, drawing hisses from the Ravenclaws. Flitwick was one of the few teachers whose conduct hadn't been questioned so far this year. "Just because you were compartmentalising the work—or so the sketchy records from that year indicate—doesn't excuse you being lax about the safety of your charges, does it?"

Flitwick lowered his head, shamefaced. That was the sort of thing he ought to have done as a responsible Charms Master. Dumbledore had convinced them to do an awful lot of questionable things that year solely on the weight of his word, and he didn't have any way to answer that one. He could only hope McGonagall was right about giving Umbridge enough rope to hang herself.

Harry did work up the nerve to play in the Quidditch match, albeit in large part so that the Slytherins wouldn't think he was too scared to do it. Ron and Hermione, however, taught themselves the Leg-Locker Curse to use on Snape if he tried to hurt Harry.

Snape groaned. "I'm not sure what's worse, you two," he said, "the fact that you considered cursing a man on a broomstick or the fact that you chose a curse that would do very little to slow a man on a broomstick who was intent on causing harm. If I were your Defence teacher, I would take points. How was a Leg-Locker Curse supposed to stop me when I didn't have my feet on the ground?"

Ron and Hermione blushed. In retrospect, that had been a pretty bad plan.

Dumbledore showed up when he hadn't been there for the first match, so Harry was much less worried then. Snape, as they feared, was biased against Gryffindor. However, Harry caught the Snitch in record time and won the game handily, although Ron and Neville were distracted from this by the fact that Malfoy decided to taunt them until they attacked him—Neville showing far more courage than he usually let on in the process—getting themselves beat up by Crabbe and Goyle. Umbridge spoke with barely concealed glee when she read Malfoy's insults on Neville's supposed incompetence and the Weasleys' lack of money. Students and teachers alike grumbled at her for it, but she didn't slow down.

"You really risked getting beat up by Crabbe and Goyle for that?" Parvati asked Neville, sounding impressed.

"Well, Malfoy was going after me and Ron," he said, "and Ron had already jumped in, and I knew Crabbe and Goyle would slaughter him if I didn't help. I still got clobbered, though," he said regretfully.

"Well, I think you're brave, Neville," she said. "And you're getting pretty good at duelling in the you-know-what. I don't think you're going to get 'clobbered' like that again."

Neville smiled a little.

"He'd really done something to be proud of now—no one could say he was just a famous name anymore," Umbridge read. "Well, that didn't last long, did it?"

Harry glared at her from the Gryffindor Table.

However, the Harry in the book happened to noticed Snape sneaking into the Forbidden Forest and decided to follow on his broom. "I think we're seeing a pattern of rule-breaking here," Umbridge said. "Potter seems to be sneaking out of bounds very often when he can get away with it. You see? This is why invisibility cloaks are not acceptable in Hogwarts."

"Not to mention Potter being far too nosey for his own good," Snape agreed. "That attitude is going to get him hurt sooner or later, especially when he acts on incomplete informatio,n as he tends to do."

Harry felt like Snape was sending him a message there, although he honestly wasn't sure whether it was about anything specific—probably something to do with why Dumbledore was keeping his distance from him this year or something annoying like that. He still didn't care for the insinuation, though, especially coming from Snape.

In the story, Harry found Snape interrogating Quirrell about something he couldn't quite follow regarding the Philosopher's Stone.

"'Have you found out how to get past that beast of Hagrid's yet?'

"'B-b-but Severus, I—'

"'You don't want me as your enemy, Quirrell,' said Snape, taking a step towards him.

"'I-I don-t know what you—'

"'You know perfectly well what I mean.'

"An owl hooted loudly and Harry nearly fell out of the tree. He steadied himself in time to hear Snape say, '—your little bit of hocus pocus. I'm waiting.'

"'B-but I d-d-don't—'

"'Very well,' Snape cut in. 'We'll have another little chat soon, when you've had time to think things over and decided where your loyalties lie.'"

"You know," Harry whispered, "now that I think about it, that doesn't really make much sense. I mean, knowing what Snape was really doing, I don't get what the stuff he said that I missed could have been."

"Huh…yes, I don't really follow that either, knowing what we know now," Hermione agreed. "Either Snape thought Quirrell was using some kind of enchantment like we did at the time, or it wasn't about that at all, and he was bringing up the first Quidditch match or something."

"But what was he 'waiting' for?" Ron asked.

"I don't know," Hermione said.

"And why confront him directly about Fluffy?" Harry added. "Wouldn't that give him away?"

Ron thought about that. "Maybe he didn't know Quirrell was possessed and was trying to scare him straight?" he suggested.

"That's…actually plausible," Hermione said. "The rest of the conversation still doesn't make much sense, though."

Harry shrugged. It really wasn't that important, although it would have helped if Snape had been clearer. At the time, the three of them had come to the conclusion that Snape was trying to steal the Philosopher's Stone and was trying to force Quirrell to figure out how to get past Fluffy for him as well as revealing the key to his own protection.

"'It'll be gone by Tuesday,' said Ron. Hmpf. Such wild speculation against an upstanding teacher," Umbridge said. "You're right, Professor Snape. This is what happens when you act on incomplete information. Very irresponsible. So, Professor McGonagall, would you care to continue?"

"Yes, I would care, Dolores," McGonagall said, "but we both know know how that conversation is going to end." She opened the book and turned to the next chapter. "Oh, dear."