"And I just need enough of you to dull the pain, just to get me through the night til we're twins again."
Jarred had been true to his promise; he hadn't laid an angry hand on Teddy in days. He seemed to be genuinely sorry as well, even going as far as to introduce Teddy to his friends, and to let him, on occasion, sit with him in the Great Hall, though never when there was a large crowd about, and of course, he only introduced Teddy as a friend, not a boyfriend. Teddy understood that. Jarred didn't want to be outed, not yet, and Teddy didn't really want to be either. A part of his mind knew that his family and friends wouldn't care, but he always had that small voice in the back of his head telling him otherwise. They'd hate you, you freak, he said as he sat down and worked on his Transfiguration homework, at least that was a subject that seemed to come naturally to him, something he was at least good at. And then you'd lose what few people you had. No wonder your parents left you.
He shook his head, trying to clear it, but the inner voice always won in the end. "Any parties tonight?" he found himself asking a fellow Hufflepuff.
"Ravenclaw party, I heard," the boy replied. Teddy nodded and headed to his dormitory to get changed. Jarred's right, he thought as he looked at himself in the mirror. You could stand to lose some weight. He was on the Quidditch team, fit, and by no means large, but Jarred had always commented upon his weight, that he'd be so much more attractive if he were skinnier... He changed into a t-shirt and jeans before heading up to the party.
"Teddy!" Michael exclaimed and looped an arm around his friend's shoulders. He'd been drinking already, apparently the party had been going on for awhile by the time Teddy had arrived. "Thought you weren't coming," he grinned.
"You know me," Teddy grabbed a drink. "Never one to turn down a party." He'd gotten into trouble from a young age: drinking, drugs, if someone offered it he tried it. He'd try anything to get the small voice in the back of his head to shut up. "Vic here?" he asked, looking out for the blonde.
"Nope," Michael sat down and propped his feet up on a table. Ravenclaw parties were notoriously quiet, nothing like the wild Gryffindor ones. "Something about studying for a Potions exam."
"Fuck Potions," Teddy sat next to him and draped his legs over his friend's. He watched Jarred from across the room. His boyfriend was chatting with a few of his housemates, probably commenting about how un-exciting the party was. Teddy finished his drink and got another.
"You getting drunk tonight?" Michael followed his friend, not wanting him to fall and hurt himself, as Teddy was so prone to do.
"Always," Teddy quickly downed two more. He smiled when he felt his head start to fog up, when the world started spinning a bit.
"Swear you have a problem," Michael rolled his eyes, but got another drink himself. Teddy rolled his eyes. Michael had looked after him since their first year, had been his protector and his best friend. And had also ratted him out to Harry and his grandmother when Teddy got into a bit too much trouble. He'd been the one to write to them when he noticed criss-crossed scars on his friends arms, something Teddy quickly became better at hiding, once he'd really grasped more of the whole Metamorphmagus thing. The last thing he needed was the person responsible for his parents' deaths lecturing him about well-being and insisting he needed help.
"I'm fine," Teddy insisted and draped an arm over Michael's shoulders, much as his friend had done earlier.
He wasn't sure how it had happened, but later in the party Teddy had lost track of Michael. "Michael?" he asked when he felt someone grab his arm and lead him out of the Common Room.
"Not Michael," he heard a familiar voice say. Teddy smiled when he saw Jarred leading him away from the crowd, but frowned when he saw they were headed up to a room.
"Jarred?" he asked, but was cut off when his boyfriend shut the door behind them and kissed him. Caught unaware, Teddy kissed him back. He'd always loved kissing Jarred. His lips were so soft and inviting. He frowned, though, when Jarred pinned him to the wall. "What are you doing?" he asked when Jarred finally broke the kiss.
"It's okay," Jarred soothed and ran his hands down to Teddy's hips, sliding his hands under his shirt.
"I told you I don't want to do this," Teddy tried to push him away, but the Fifth Year was stronger than he was.
"Come on, Teddy," Jarred kissed his neck. Teddy shut his eyes and let out an involuntary moan. "Don't you love me?"
"Of course I love you..." Teddy tried to add a 'but,' but gasped when Jarred bit down on a particularly sensitive spot of his neck.
"Then don't worry," Jarred said against his skin before pulling Teddy's shirt off. "You'll love me more after." Teddy shut his eyes tightly. He didn't want to be with Jarred, not in that way, not yet, but what could he do? And besides, that was what couples did. You're lucky someone wants you, the voice in his head said. Merlin knows no one else ever will.