Chapter 6

Questioning and Comfort

They all sat down to a feast. It would have been a merry thing, if there had been edible food. Elves only ate vegetables and none of the Dwarves were happy about it. Enda picked at the green food and scooted it across her plate. She looked to Kíli and Fíli and they both pushed their plates away looking less than happy with the food.

"Why can't they have meat?" Enda asked.

"I don't like green food," Ori said to his brother, Dori, who was trying to get him to eat. "Don't they have any chips?"

"I'd rather doubt it…" Enda said with a scowl. "At least the wine is decent enough. A bit fruity though…"

"Oh dear Mahal!" Fíli said. "You shouldn't have wine… We saw how you were with ale-"

"Oh hush! I'm not a child!" Enda said. She then drank more of her wine but decided not to drink too much. The last thing she needed was to get drunk and make herself appear foolish.

"You are really too young for drinking…"

Enda scowled at Fíli. "Stop mothering me… I can handle myself."

"Sure you can," Fíli said. Enda kicked him from under the table. "Ow!"

"I've managed to take care of myself for years. I don't need you to tell me I can't."

Enda then had a brief vision of her mother scolding her. Her mother always criticized her. Enda generally shrugged it off except for one time.

"Enda you really are a disgrace," her mother scolded as she pushed Enda's feet from the table and took her mug of ale from her hand. "You will never be able to manage yourself."

"Excuse me?" Enda asked. "I'm more capable of managing myself- I manage this whole family! And what do you do? Scold me for not being ladylike. I'm not a lady. I'm a huntress and if you wish otherwise you'd starve!"

"Enda you are always so difficult!"

"Well you aren't always the easiest to get along with…"

"You watch your mouth…"

"What are you going to do about it? I'm already a disgrace!" After all the years of criticism she finally snapped. Enda then stood up from her seat and she then grabbed her bow and all of her gear.

"Enda I didn't mean-"

"You know what? It's too late to apologize!" Enda then stormed from the house and slammed the door behind her. She then went into the woods.

Enda snapped back into reality with a sudden pang in her heart. That had been the last words she had said to her mother. She held her head and propped her elbows on the table. Her mother and she had never reconciled. Enda felt the tears that came to her eyes. Maybe if she hadn't stormed out of the house things would have been different.

"Enda are you alright?" she heard Bilbo ask.

"Yeah… I need to get some air." Enda quickly stood up and walked quickly away. She didn't know where to go but she let her feet take her wherever they willed. She soon stopped when she found herself in a training yard.

Anger and frustration had filled her. She was only mad at herself. She was a fool and now she would never be able to be forgiven by her mother. She then drew a knife from her jerkin.

"Idiot, Enda…" she scolded herself. She forced herself to hold back her tears. She then threw the knife at a training dummy. The knife only hit the dummy in the arm. She cursed in Khuzdul. She then drew her next knife. "She was right, you are a disgrace… I'm the problem…" She then tossed the knife. It completely missed the target. She cursed again. "Don't cry… At least try and make father proud." Enda drew another knife except it slipped slightly and the blade cut the tip of her finger. Enda growled and she tossed the blade to the ground infuriated. "It's all my fault…" Enda then looked to the sky. "I'm sorry! I've failed you all!" Enda said quietly to her deceased family. "I've failed…

"Mother I'm sorry, if I hadn't stormed out you wouldn't be dead! You were right, I can't manage without you. I am not wise. If I were I would have stayed and I would have been there to defend you and pupa and Dín!

"Cruel fate! Why did you punish my family for my flaws?! Why is it that I lived?!" Enda felt the warm tears streaming down her face but she couldn't stop them. "I should have been there, to protect them. Mahal, why didn't you spare my family? Why did you take my family and let me live? I am the fool! You should have let me pay the price, not them! I should be dead…"

Enda tried to calm herself down but the more she tried the more hysterical she got. Her breathing came in ragged gasps as she continued to sob. She fell to her knees and bowed her head into her hands.

Then she felt strong arms around her shoulders.

"Sh… Enda, don't cry…" Kíli said as he gently rocked her back and forth.

"I failed them…" Enda then buried her face in his shoulder as she continued to sob. Kíli rubbed her back and whispered to her. Eventually she ran out of tears and she dryly sobbed until they turned into little hiccups.

"What upsets you?" Kíli asked. "What made you leave the table?"

Enda took a shaky deep breath. "I saw the past… I remembered the last thing I said to mum… If I hadn't stormed out- they'd still be alive!"

"Enda-"

"I should have died not them! I am the fool!"

"Sh…"

"I will never be rid of the visions… I will always be haunted with their deaths. It's my fault!"

"Visions?" Enda then paled. She looked up at Kíli then scooted away. She could only nod mutely. "You are a Seer?"

"I never wanted it… I never was normal. No one understands anything. I'm alone. My own father would have rejected me if he knew, so I have had to keep quiet. Now you know and…" Enda took a shaky breath.

"You think I'm going to tell the others?" Enda nodded again. "I wouldn't!" Kíli then brought her into an embrace. "You aren't alone Enda… I understand visions."

"What?" Enda asked. She looked at him disbelief written on her face.

"I'm a Seer. I know what it's like, seeing the past and feeling everything like a fresh wound. And seeing the future only brings doubt and fear." Kíli said. "I always dread falling asleep. I am afraid that I'll see terrible things. And I do see death, pain… I've woken up in tears. Fíli tries to comfort me but he doesn't understand. He couldn't and I don't want him to."

"It's a curse… I don't think it could ever be good."

"But we were given the power for a reason…"
"I fail to see it, though. For all of the visions I've had I never have prevented anything from happening, in fact the more you try to change fate's course things will still happen, maybe not how you expected but it still happens."

"Enda don't blame yourself for your family's fate. I know you would have done anything to save them," Kíli said. "But now they will live in your memory."

"It's hard…" Enda said.

"It always is."
"I just want it to be over…"

"Enda?"

"I close my eyes and I see them dying. I hear them cry out in pain and it's like losing them again and again. Dín, it's the worst when I see his death. He was only a child and I promised that I'd always protect him…" Enda started to cry again and Kíli held her in his arms for a long time.

Enda knew that some wounds will never fully heal, some hurts go too deep. The pain of loss will never fully go away but you have to accept the past and move on. She was thankful for Kíli. She knew he was there to comfort her; he would be there to help her move on and learn to love life once more.

"Thank you," Enda said hoarsely. She embraced Kíli and smiled at him. He then wiped the rest of her tears away from her face with his thumb.

"Enda, I will always be here for you."

"Thank you…" Enda said once more. After a little bit she was able to completely compose herself so they went back to the rest of the group. Elrond was then there and was ready to question Enda. He led her away from the group.

"My dear, what is this, that you would travel a dangerous road? And there is no fooling me. You are a trained warrior."

"Master Elrond, I do not want to betray anything to you so I will not volunteer information. And you can call me Enda."

"Enda, where do you travel to? There is not much for Dwarves in the eastern world. You all come from Ered Luin and there is no need to travel from there."

"Ered Luin?" Enda asked, she looked rather confused.

"Are you not from there?"

"No, I come from Mirkwood," Enda then cursed herself. She did not plan on telling him anything.

"Mirkwood? Dwarves do not live there."

"I'm a special case…"

"It's unusual; women Dwarves are rarely as armed as you are."

"You were correct with your thought of me being a warrior but that is not why I am with this Company… I stumbled upon them merely by chance."

"I wasn't accusing you of anything."

"Are there any other questions or can I return to my group?"

"You are free to go." Enda was surprised that he didn't try and get more information from her.

She then went back to the Company. She was almost concerned; did she accidentally give the Elf some information? Or did he let her go because he didn't think he'd get any information from her. She hoped it was the latter.

"What did he ask of you?" Thorin asked.

"I didn't tell him of our venture if that's what you're accusing me of…" Enda then grabbed a goblet from the table. "If you must know, he asked but he barely got more than my name from me. I wouldn't betray your secrets."

Enda then sat down and took a sip of the wine. She was hoping that she could maybe numb the whirlwind of emotions that had happened that day. The Elves then led them to a porch that they could all camp on. Enda really wished that they could bring the wine with them but the Elves didn't take notice and they then left them for the night. Thorin, Balin, Gandalf and Bilbo were all talking with Elrond.

Before the sun set Enda, Fíli and Kíli practiced dueling. Dwalin watched and would once and a while shout out tips. Enda smiled when she was able to disarm the brothers.

"That, young missy, is a sure way to disarm your enemies," Dwalin said. "It's not very often one uses it because it only works with swords but it is remembered by me. Remember it and it can save your life."

"Thank you for the help, Master Dwalin," Enda said with a respectful nod to him.

"I don't think the Elves want us wandering around. Too bad, I wanted to go back down to the training yard. We could work on archery," Kíli said.

"I shot enough today, thank you," Enda said as she recalled the Wargs earlier that day. She was surprised. Just that morning they had almost been eaten by trolls. "I am exhausted and how you aren't, Kíli, is a mystery."

"I'm always mysterious…"

Enda rolled her eyes but smiled. "If we could just have some real food then I'd want to fall asleep."

"Well I don't have firewood but we have some cold sausages," Bofur said.

"Firewood, coming up!" Bombur then sat on a chair that was too small for him and it broke.

"Oh dear," Bofur said with mock seriousness. "We shouldn't let it go to waste."

Glóin then took out his tinder kit and started a fire. Bofur then started to cook the sausages. They passed the food around and Enda took a sausage and smiled as she ate it.

"Sausage has never been better," Enda then sighed. She then dug into her bag and grabbed a flask. "Complements to the chef!" she said as she tossed the flask to Bofur.

"Thanks lass!" Bofur smiled and then had a drink.

"Where on earth did you get that!?" Fíli asked, shock was written on his face.

"I've been saving it… I've had it with me since the beginning of the quest."

"Dear Mahal…" Kíli said. "What else do you keep hidden?"

"I'm just mysterious…" Enda smiled. "I don't really have anything else, save for some knives. I used to have a good stock on arrows but after the Wargs this morning… If I hadn't missed so many I would still have a good amount but the wretched things are fast."

"You still shot some down…" Kíli said. "You have a slightly different method of shooting than I do. That's why I wanted to do archery. I want to learn your way of shooting so I can compare it with my own."

"If we stay tomorrow we can shoot, it's too dark now anyway."

After a few more hours the other Dwarves were starting to doze off. So Enda set up her bedroll and crawled in. She then yawned. "I think I'll turn in for the night…"

"Good night, Enda." Fíli and Kíli then followed suit and they all went to sleep.

Enda relived the day in her visions that night but when she awoke she felt almost refreshed. The last hour of sleep she had she had visions of her and Kíli. She still felt confused on what it meant but he had certainly become someone important in her life. She was roused by Kíli as the sky was just starting to lighten up.

"Morning…" she mumbled.

"Up, we're leaving. We must be quiet though…"

"Sneaking away are we?" Enda then sat up and redid her ponytail.

"The Elves don't want us to go on our quest. We have to leave before they can stop us." Kíli then smiled at her. "Come on, you don't need to worry about your hair."

"I'm ready to leave… The others are still packing up so don't complain at me," Enda said. Her face then fell when she saw how low her supply of arrows had gotten.

"Don't worry Enda, look what I found…" Kíli smiled mischievously. He held up a bundle of Elven arrows.

"Did you steal those?"

"I do not steal… They're perfectly fine arrows but they were put in a pile to be burned. They probably aren't pretty enough for the Elves…" Kíli snickered.

"Well thank you…"

"No problem. No need to let them go to waste."

"Come on now, we need to go…" Enda and Kíli then followed the rest of the group and they left Rivendell. Enda turned to look at it once more. It was a pretty city but it was not Enda's sort of city. She found herself longing for Erebor. She then saw Bilbo glancing back with longing.

"I suggest you two keep up," Thorin said and they then followed. They were led by Balin since he knew this area of the world better than any of the others. That day they walked many miles over many different terrains. They only stopped for a few meals but they pressed on not wanting to find out if it was true that they were being pursued by Orcs.

Hey everyone!

I hope you enjoyed this chapter. I know it's short but I wanted to write the next part of the adventure in the next chapter. And special thanks to all of the people who have followed and reviewed. You guys are the best!

Please leave me a review!

~ Maethorni