The next morning,

Jesse was sitting on a chair at the kitchen table. His back hurt from sitting. His eyes hurt from lack of sleep. He was exhausted. He looked at his watch then pushed his seat back and got up seeing that it was 7:20 am. He poured a mug of coffee from the freshly brewed coffee and rubbed his neck as he walked to the living area. He cleared his throat then put the mug of coffee on the coffee table before he shook Christina's shoulder.

She groaned in response.

He shook her again, "C'mon, you need to wake up," he said in a hoarse voice.

He kept shaking her until she gave up on sleep and sat up. Christina held her head and coughed. "What happened?" she curtly asked.

"You called, piss drunk, by mistake. You were lost." He paused, handing her the mug then sitting next to her. "I found you asleep on the sidewalk in Hudson county. I couldn't find the keys to your apartment so I brought you here." He sighed leaning against the couch.

He spent the night up. He couldn't go back to sleep and risk not waking up when he set the alarm clock to wake Christina up and send her home before Nicole woke up.

"When I go out clubbing I just take money with me to pay for drinks." She cleared her throat while massaging her neck.

"You mean when you go out planning on drinking yourself into oblivion?" He got up, leaving her in the living area to go and get her something for her sore throat.

"Thanks," Christina said as she accepted a pill container Jesse handed her. She took a few pills then chugged down the coffee in one breath.

"I owe you one." She stumbled getting up.

"Where's my phone?" she asked, rubbing her temples.

"The battery was drained so I put it to charge up." Jesse walked to the TV and bent to unplug her phone that he put on the floor while it charged.

Christina accepted her phone and grimaced going through it. "I drunk dialed uncle Gerald," she groaned after a beat.

Jesse had no idea who that was, he kept eyeing her until she looked up. "My godfather," she told him. He nodded.

"Now, he's gonna get mad at me for breaking the promise I made him," she huffed rubbing her forehead. "Fuck!" She brought her phone to her ear to listen to her voicemail.

Jesse watched her as she closed her eyes listening to the voicemail then shook her head.

"Is everything okay?"

Jesse tilted his head hearing Beca's sleepy voice. He had to smile at the sight of her. She looked quite adorable in the Deadpool t-shirt, his t-shirt that he hadn't seen in ages, she was wearing.

(He wondered how many of his lost t-shirts were in her closet.)

Jesse shrugged when Beca met his gaze. He really had no idea.

Beca walked up to them and stood next to Jesse while she rubbed her eye.

"What are you doing up early?" Jesse asked her.

"I forgot to turn off the alarm clock on my phone," she yawned then looked at Christina who was fumbling with her phone and had yet to acknowledge her.

"Christina?" Jesse called then poked her shoulder to get her attention.

She looked up.

"What's wrong?" he asked.

"I fucked up big time that's what's wrong," she chuckled humorlessly and coughed.

Hearing a door get unlocked, Beca tilted her head and saw her mother step out of the guestroom. Awesome timing.

Nicole stood in the doorway when she saw them standing in the living area and arched an eyebrow.

Beca quickly found a lie and turned on her heels, walking to her laptop bag, that she left on the coffee table, pulling a folder.

"Morning, mom," she glanced at her mother before she walked back to where Christina and Jesse were standing. Jesse was running a hand over his face, she gave him a reassuring nod seeing that he was obviously working something to tell her mother.

"Um, just drop this off asap," Beca nudged Christina with the folder. Christina looked up from her phone and had a confused look on her face but she took the folder when Beca mouthed 'take it.'

"My assistant," Beca said as she looked at her mother. Her mom nodded and walked into the bathroom.

"Nice save, Bec," Jesse said, impressed.

She shrugged: if there was someone to take credit it would be Matt for nagging her about getting an assistant.

"Thank you, Jesse," Christina thanked Jesse, calling him by his actual name which she never did, then tilted her head to look at Beca. She frowned when she took a good look at her. "You're the one that drove me to the hospital, aren't you?" she hesitantly asked. Beca nodded.

Christina was about to say something then her phone vibrated. "I should leave," she said as she eyed her phone. Looking up she gave Beca the folder and paced out of the apartment.

"What's up with her?" Beca asked once Christina locked the door behind her.

"Something about a promise to her Godfather?" Jesse shrugged. "Mornin', Joseph," he said bending to get on eye level with her belly. He placed a kiss, "it's daddy talkin' in case you can't tell."

Beca rolled her eyes at his dorkiness and watched him straighten up then rest his palms on belly feeling it. "He can totally tell it's me," he grinned when their baby started kicking.

"Totally," she nodded and stepped away from him because she totally knew why their kid was kicking: she wanted to drag Jesse to her bedroom and spend the whole day in bed either sleeping or screwing his brains out.

She walked to the coffee table and put the folder back inside the bag before she turned on her heels, wondering how in the hell she was going to keep her shit together.

Chloe— Beca suddenly had an idea, she could feel the fucking light bulb over her head. Chloe was the voice of reason since the one she supposed to have in her head took a vaycay.

"Bec, should I start making breakfast?" Jesse wondered watching Beca make her way to her bedroom.

"Mhm." He heard her acknowledge him as she stepped inside her bedroom.

"Okay," Jesse rubbed the back of his neck.

"Beca?" Chloe sleepily said picking up.

"Chloe," Beca carefully took a seat on the bed.

"Beca, is everything okay? Why are you calling me at five in the morning?"

"Shit, I forgot about the time difference," Beca said in realization.

"It's fine. What do you want to talk about?" Chloe asked sounding more awake.

"I slept with Jesse last night," she told her friend and let it sink in first. "And I want it to happen again."

Beca heard Chloe sigh.

"Beca, as long as you're living under the same roof as him it's inevitable to end up in bed with him." Chloe paused to yawn. "In the time you spend Jesse-free—" Beca had to roll her eyes at her friend's choice of words—"did you come any close to making up your mind? Do you know what you want out of dating him?"

Beca didn't answer.

"Jesus, Beca, how hard is it to decide whether you see yourself in the long run with him or not?"

"A lot." Beca paused. "He does all sort of things that drive me crazy."

"So what he drives you crazy? I lost count of the number of times I wanted to murder Tom... nothing, go back to bed," Chloe said. Beca figured the last part was to Tom who woke because of their conversation over the phone. "You just make peace with the pet peeves, Bec."

"So, you're saying I should make peace with the way he takes me for granted, how he and I stopped moving forward, how he just stopped caring like he used—"

"Beca, stop," Chloe interrupted. "You know that's not what I meant. I still think you should try to work out your problems instead of what you chose to do." Chloe dramatically sighed. "How's the house hunting going?"

"I'm closing in on a place. It should be mine in two weeks time."

"Well, you gonna have to try and stay away from him until you move out."

"I don't think I can do it," Beca shrugged.

"Get back with your boyfriend and work on solving your issues together."

"I wanna do it solo."

"Solo isn't always the answer... unless you mean Han Solo then yeah, that guy is the answer, he's pretty hot."

"Chloe, focus."

"Right." Chloe paused. "Beca, just take a moment to think about how your life would be like without Jesse, okay? And don't think about the baby, just think about Jesse and your relationship."

Beca blew a breath thinking. Life without his casual outburst into song nor his annoying chipper self? Okay, he was more than that, so she dug a little deeper... Life without his constant support: the dude is her rock, she counted on him. Not to say that they were in a co-dependent relationship, he just knew how to make her feel better and figure out shit and she did the same for him.

Life wouldn't be the same without him by her side. He was a part of her life. A piece to the puzzle that it is herself.

"It wouldn't be the same," she mumbled her reply. "Life wouldn't be the same without him."

"Then what are you doing taking a break from him, Beca? Take your man back and work on your problems together. And preferably fix them before your baby arrives next spring."

Beca held her tongue when she caught herself about to blur out her illness to Chloe.

"Chloe, he's really lazy about this sort of things. You don't know him like I do. If I tell him I want to try to work it out, he'll agree and not do anything. It's how he rolls. He doesn't like losing but doesn't work on getting what he wants either."

She distinctly remembered him telling him how he was going to win her back in Benji and Emily's rehearsal dinner when she was high on edible and guess what? It's been a month since Benji and Emily tied the knot and he didn't do anything.

"Well if you want it to work, you make it work. Have you told him about how shitty his way of rolling is?"

"He knows."

Of course, he knew of his flaws, yet he didn't try to change his ways.

"Beca, what do you want to hear me say?" Chloe said sounding a little defeated.

"What you think I should do." Beca brought her fingers to her mouth and began biting her nails, she knew what Chloe wanted her to do and had been fighting it because she knew part of her just wanted to get back with Jesse and continue to ignore the elephant in the room by default.

Her illness and the stress and anxiety it brought her made her vulnerable and she just needed him to be her rock and comfort her the ways he knew.

"This break of yours hasn't been helpful, has it?"

Beca didn't answer because she could hear the rhetorical tone. The one thing that she figured out from her break from Jesse was that she still loved him and wanted to be with him, despite how annoying he could get.

"It's not your only option. Take him back and work on fixing things, Beca. He's lazy. Easy, be pushy."

Beca inhaled deeply as she nodded then exhaled, "okay."

"I thought you went back to bed," Jesse said from his spot behind the kitchen island. He was cracking an egg into a bowl when Beca walked into the kitchen.

"No, I just had to use the bathroom," she lied, walking up to him. Standing next to him, she looked into the bowl. "Pancakes?"

He nodded his head and reached for a whisk then began mixing the batter.

"So, about last night—"

"—not gonna happen again, I know," Jesse interrupted her while he eyed the bowl. "I'm sorry, I messed up. I should have resisted you. I should have known better." He put the bowl down.

Looking up, he met her gaze. She was anxious, he could tell. He tilted his head slightly, questionably. She moved closer to him and tiptoed to kiss him gently.

He got confused for a second then cupped her cheek and kissed her back. His other hand made its way to the small of her back, pulling her even closer to him as they shared a kiss. He had no idea what she wanted—which wasn't new, really.— if she was trying to tell him something he was totally missing it. There was no fire like the night before—don't get him wrong, kissing her felt amazing and made him feel all warm and he still felt that weird feeling in his stomach... A different kind of fire. One that didn't involve lust.

"Ahem," Nicole cleared her throat, breaking them apart.

Beca wiped her mouth with the back of her hand and looked away from Jesse. He tilted his head to Nicole and smiled tightly, "good morning."

She nodded and walked further into the kitchen. "Your dad texted," Nicole said meeting Beca's gaze. "He's asking if we'd join them for brunch."

"Um, okay," Beca shrugged. It was a little weird to see how her dysfunctional family was pretty functional, or better yet was trying to be functional. "Brunch sounds like fun." She glanced at Jesse who just nodded understanding that the 'we' didn't include him. He was thrilled because he really wanted to have some sleep.

Jesse looked between them then grabbed the bowl and resumed mixing the batter. Beca turned to the fridge then opened it and kept looking inside it to give herself to think. She needed to talk to Jesse but her mother's presence was a real inconvenience. She could tell he was confused as fuck and needed some insight on what she just did.

She grabbed the whipped cream can and shut the door, figuring she'd just postpone talking with Jesse 'til her family was out of town. Surely, they could sit on it for a few hours, right?!

Jesse glanced at her and opened the shelve he knew she was going to head to next, pulling a pack of crackers that was in it.

"Thanks." She took it from him.

"What are you doing?" Nicole asked in amusement.

"I just thought I'd try and see what it will taste like," Beca said with a shrug as she put whipped cream on a cracker and brought it to her mouth. She made one for Jesse too because he always wanted to try out whatever she was eating. As his hands were full, he leaned in so that she could feed it to him.

A few hours later.

The restaurant they picked was close to where Beca lived so she and her mother chose to walk to it instead of taking her car. It was cold, like, see-your-breath-whenever-you-speak cold. But there was no rain and no WIND.

They had been walking for a good five minute in silence. Beca was debating whether or not she should bring up how she didn't buy it when her mom denied the fact they had some genetic illness in the family or just leave it since it wouldn't really matter unless she wanted to have another kid—it was very unlikely but you never know.

"Funny how the bed in the guest room smells an awful lot like Jesse's deodorant," Nicole suddenly said breaking the silence.

Beca looked up and clenched her jaw because she fucking told Jesse to change the fucking sheets.

"We weren't talking," Beca lied. "We're good now," she assured her mother.

"Yeah?" she suspiciously eyed her daughter.

"Uh-huh," Beca nodded. "He just pissed me off and asked him to give a minute which turned into an hour which turned into a few days," she found herself sharing with her mom, slipping some truth into her words.

"What did he do? Is he treating you differently?"

Beca rolled her eyes, because, of course, her mother would assume he'd be that asshole who would become a breathing piece of shit to his pregnant girlfriend because he didn't want a kid. Beca didn't doubt a second catching her cynism from her mother.

"No, mom, he's not treating me differently," she sighed. "I've been stressed out and he keeps doing stuff that annoys the fuck out of me and didn't seem to see it." She shrugged looking up to meet her mother's gaze.

"And he does now?"

Beca didn't want to insult her mother by lying to her face, lying while she looked at, who she assumed was, a Wallstreet banker that crossed the street while he yelled into his phone to some poor soul was easier. Besides, her mother furrowed her brow knowingly, there was no point in lying.

"Have you considered couple's therapy?"

Again, Beca found herself rolling her eyes. She really appreciated the fact that her mother was trying to help but it was hard not to snicker at the suggestion especially when it's from a woman who blew the one relationship that truly meant something to her because she cared about her career more.

"Isn't that for married couples who can't stand each other and are both cheating but it's like a mandatory step before one of them said 'fuck it, they can keep the house in the settlement!' and filed for divorce?"

"No."

Shit—Beca thought. She forgot her parents tried couple's therapy at some point before her father just gave up trying and left.

"It doesn't have to always end in divorce, or a breakup in your case," her mom sighed.

Beca nodded and smiled back when a friendly old man smiled at her. She would have wondered if he was mentally stable if it weren't for the fact that she was showing a pretty damn cute baby bump that made people usually really nice to her.

As long as the stranger didn't make a weird remark nor came near her she was content. Also, it was refreshing to lock eyes with a New Yorker who isn't grumpy or in a hurry or both.

"Bec, there's this thing that runs in our family," her mother began to say. Here we go.

Beca arched an eyebrow at the look her mother's face once she went quiet.

"Check your blood pressure once in a while, okay?" Nicole mumbled.

"I have it, mom," Beca sighed. "The pre-something condition, I developed it." She paused taking in her mother reaction. "Don't worry, I got it under control-ish."

"What do you mean by that? What's under control-ish supposed to mean?"

"My blood pressure is low and, as long as I keep taking drugs for it, it will stay that way. I'm taking something for the protein leaking thingy but my doc told me it won't control it like the meds for blood pressure. It's under control-ish." She let out a breath she didn't realize she was holding because she finially told someone she's sick.

"You haven't told Jesse about this, have you?" Nicole narrowed her eyes.

How did you know?— Beca wondered but didn't voice her question.

"Beca, you're my daughter," her mother answered reading the question from the look in Beca's eyes. "You don't want him to worry." She paused for a beat. "It's his PTSD thing, isn't it?"

"More or less." Beca shrugged. No, she hadn't thought her illness that threatened her son's existence could trigger the post trauma stress disorder Jesse suffered from when he and his pregnant ex-wife got into a car accident while he was driving and caused a miscarriage. But now she was. Thanks, mom.

"Don't keep it from him, Beca. If it triggers something, he could always go see a therapist. But, please, honey DON'T keep it from him."

"Relax, mom." Another thing she was sure she inherited from her mother: anxiety.

Her mom shook her head, "you don't understand, if it goes bad and..." she trailed off. "it won't be the same."

"Mom, is there something I should know about?" Beca asked.

Her mother was freaking out and gave her 'Im speaking from experience' vibes. It was confusing because Preeclampsia didn't screw it up for her when she was still in her mother's womb, you know, 'cause she's alive and all.

"Um," her mother rubbed her forehead. "Before we had you, your dad got me pregnant."

Beca arched her eyebrows in surprise but refrained from interrupting her mother.

"He'd just started grad school when I found out. And, by the time, I found out I had developed it he was really busy with school and figured he didn't need to know. Besides, your aunt had Sean and was diagnosed with it, which was a little reassuring. We lost the baby. I didn't see a reason I'd tell him and he didn't even notice that something was wrong and it was never the same. We eventually had you 'cause I thought that it was what our relationship was missing." She sighed.

"So, it's my fault?" Beca asked noting her mother's tone that clearly said she wasn't what they needed.

"Oh, god no," she exclaimed, "you weren't the problem. I was the problem. And, I made the mistake of using work as a way of dealing." She paused and didn't have to keep going because Beca knew the rest.

They stayed in a comfortable silence: Beca processing what her mother had told her while the older woman took a stroll down memory lane.

"What was the baby?" Beca asked after a while.

"A boy." A ghost of a smile crept on Nicole's face after answering.

Beca nodded smiling a little because she wouldn't have hated having an older brother.

"Tell him, Beca," she said. "I know you think that it's fine if doesn't know but it really isn't. He really has to know."

Beca nodded choosing not to say anything back. Beca was planning on asking advice from her dad when she asked him to come to NYC for thanksgiving but she ended up getting advice from her mother instead and it was enough.

She knew he had to know and given the fact that she going to ask if they could get back together and work on their problems ie. she wouldn't have to worry about how he'd very likely go insane not being around once she moved into the penthouse.

Later that day,

Beca was getting some work done while she ate some of the cookies she baked with her mother. Her family had long left New York. It was just her and Bender in the apartment. She glanced up from her laptop to watch Bender chew his toy. She kind of hated the toy because of the squeaky sound it made but it made the dog happy so she learned to tolerate it. It made her wonder if she'd learn to tolerate how annoying Jesse could get. She chuckled for thinking of how the squeaky toy was a metaphor to her situation—rediculous but kinda true. Beca shook her head and looked back at her laptop only to look away again when Jesse unlocked the front door. Seeing him got their son to start kicking, reacting to her anxiety.

"Hey," he said tossing her car keys on the coffee table and missing the ashtray that shouldn't be in their apartment seeing that neither one of them smoked. (Beca put it and told him to put her car keys in when he'd borrow it because he always forgot where he put them.)

"So, I found out what's up with Christina," he said as he sat down on the couch and started taking off his jacket. "Her godfather happens to run her family business and he made her promise to quit drinking she broke the promise a bunch of time. He got mad at her and told her if she broke her sobriety he'd make sure she couldn't get a cent of her money. And guess what?"

"He cut her off?" Beca said in surprise. "He can't take her money away from her."

"He didn't take it away from her. She just won't get money until she gets her act together."

"Is she gonna knock it?"

"She said she's gotta. And, this guy," he pointed at himself, "is gonna help her get it together." He spoke with excitement and sang 'get it together' like they did in the song by beastie boys.

"That's nice," Beca smiled because his excitement was really adorable.

"Yeah, it is." He reached for the plate that still had a few cookies and grabbed one.

Beca closed the lid of her laptop and leaned forward with great difficulty to put it on the coffee table.

How do I start?— Beca wondered feeling the anxiety start to build up so figured she'd just start talking and figure out what to say as she went.

"Jesse," she started to say.

"Yes?" he mumbled as he stuffed the whole cookie into his mouth and kicked off his shoes.

"it's not working, um, the break thing isn't working. I don't wanna do it anymore." She looked up and wanted to laugh at how full how his mouth was when he stopped chewing but she was trying to have a serious conversation with him so no laughing.

"So, now what?" he mumbled, still not chewing.

"I thought we could, like, try to, like, figure it out together?" she managed to say and had to swallow when he didn't say anything back not did he resume chewing. She started to panic thinking he had actually started seeing Christina and she was messing it up for him or something.

"You're saying you want us to be together again?" he mumbled out his question.

"It's been over three months and I still have no fucking idea what I want, Jesse," she told him.

He nodded getting that she still wasn't sure about them.

"Where are you going?" she asked when he got up and left the living area.

He mumbled something incoherent. She frowned and watched him walk to the kitchen. She then heard him open the fridge then close before he was in her vision again.

He had a thoughtful look on his face and was drumming his fingers on the glass of milk he was holding. Also, he was finally chewing.

Jesse sat down next to her. He offered the milk. She shook her head. He chugged it down then put the glass on the coffee table.

Beca had subconsciously begun biting her nails as she watched him think and feeling like an idiot for thinking he'd say yes immediately.

"Is this why you kissed me this morning?" he asked. She nodded and begun bouncing her leg up and down.

"Makes sense," he thought out loud then sighed before looking up then scooting closer to her.

"What makes sense?" she wondered.

"It's been so long since you kissed me for no other reason than love," he said resting his hand on her leg to still it.

"So, you in?" she asked. If he was messing with her for the dramatic effect they so weren't gonna get it on. (Debatable.)

He smiled, "of course, I'm in, Bec. I never wanted out. I—" She cut him off with a kiss. A cheesy romantic gross kiss.

AN: There you have it. I hope you enjoyed it. Thanks so much for dropping by. Leave a word if you want. Peace out!