Gone Forever (Part 2)

A/N: Part 1 was written during the season 4 winter hiatus. I had hoped to write part 2 that summer after Rumbelle reunited, but canon didn't cooperate. After several false-starts, I finally picked up the pieces and kept going anyway. As such, Part 2 includes inspiration, knowledge, and quotes from seasons 5 and 6, but still takes place during season 4, diverging at the hiatus.

Chapter 5

"If they take him away, I would truly, truly become dust."

- Rumplestiltskin (1.08 Desperate Souls)

The hospital was a flurry of activity when Henry arrived. They had moved Mr. Gold out of the asylum when he'd shown no signs of acting out again. In fact, he'd shown no signs of improvement either. If anything, he was getting worse. He would move only when they guided him or commanded him with the dagger, and he would sit or lay as they placed him. He wouldn't eat, and he wouldn't sleep, only stared straight ahead, blinking slowly every so often, tears leaking from his eyes. Regina managed to replicate Pan's magic-suppressing cuff, so it was safe for them transfer Mr. Gold to a private room upstairs. They hooked him up to monitors and an IV. Belle refused to leave his side at all during visiting hours, and Dr. Whale often caught her staying late. More than once, he had to remind her to get some food and rest. Henry began bringing Granny's takeout with him after school.

He forgot all about the bag of cheeseburgers in his backpack the moment he realized the nurses were rushing to his grandfather's room. Belle was standing in the hall, her hands clasped tightly to her chest, staring at the crowd of medical professionals crammed into Mr. Gold's room.

"What happened?" Henry asked.

"I... I don't know," Belle said, her voice high and rushed. "He was fine, and then..." She shook her head. "It was like a heart attack, but he's the Dark One. He can't have a heart attack. Can he?"

Henry hugged her. "I don't know."

Time stopped. It must have, because I sat in that cove for days, and dawn never came. The rocks had stopped their infernal singing by the time my tears had dried, but their melody lingered on. Their song was etched on my soul for all eternity.

You are lost. You can never go home.

At one point, I tried to take the bodies back to the Dark Castle, but my magic wouldn't respond. I settled for dragging them out of the water, leaning them against the cliff face as if they had fallen asleep sitting there. The effort left me drained. I knelt before them in the sand, slumped back on my heels.

Belle. Bae. Henry. My pitifully small family, all dead except for me.

I had once said, back before everything, that without Bae I would truly become dust. The only reason I hadn't after Bae died for me was because of Belle. And now, with her gone, my only possible salvation would have been Henry. Bae's son. My grandson.

What use is power when it can't bring back the dead? What use am I without someone to live for?

I reached into my chest and pulled out my heart. A solid black lump of coal. A tiny flicker of red pulsed somewhere deep inside, struggling and failing. Fading.

What use is a heart without love? It may as well be dust.

I tightened my grip.