Chapter Sixteen: The Wizard

CLANG!

The steel doors of the dark, damp cell that the Doctor and River were placed into slammed shut just behind the Doctor. As the knight locked the door, the Doctor approached and said, "I do get one phone call, right?" The knight glared in confusion. "Right…phones don't exist in this world. What was the type of request they made in these times? Ah, yes!" After muttering to himself, the Doctor once again focused on the knight and demanded, "I request an audience with King George."

"King George will talk to you when he has the time, prisoner." The knight stated. "In the meantime, keep your mouth shut!" Viciously, he slammed his fist against the bars of their cell; the iron gauntlet he wore over the hand created another clang sound that was louder than the first, causing the ears of the Doctor and River to ring momentarily.

The knight then walked away from their cell, leaving a disgruntled Doctor and a defeated River. "Brilliant!" River said in sarcasm. "Now what do we do?"

"You do like the man said."

Another voice spoke out near them from the cell adjacent to theirs. Due to the dim lighting of the dungeon area, it was difficult for River and the Doctor to see who or what was in the other cell, because he kept himself hidden in the shadows. He finally stepped into the light, revealing himself to be a bald dwarf with a scraggly, slightly grayed beard and a tough-as-nails face.

"You keep your mouths shut." He concluded his statement before retreating to the shadows.

The Doctor squinted as he stared toward the dwarf, smiling. "I know you. You're Grumpy."

"Isn't everybody?" The dwarf brashly remarked.

River seemed puzzled from the Doctor's identification of the other prisoner. "You mean that's one of the seven dwarfs?"

The Doctor nodded with a grin. "Still don't trust the fact that we're in a fantasy world now?"

River glared at him. "What I trust is you right now? I'm certain you have a plan for getting us out of here."

"There's no gettin' outta here, sister." Grumpy uttered. "I've tried everything already. The steel goes stronger, as we get weaker."

Following on Grumpy's words, the Doctor took out his sonic screwdriver and scanned the steel structure of the cell with it. Watching the Doctor, Grumpy was taken aback by the strange tool that he used. "He's right," the Doctor confirmed. "These bars are lined with a metal alloy that is thicker than any found on Earth."

Suddenly gaining interest in the characters confined in the cell adjacent to his, Grumpy stepped out from the shadows once more and gazed upon the sonic screwdriver. "What the hell is that thing?"

The Doctor saw how entranced Grumpy was with the sonic screwdriver. "This? This is my…magical wand." His answer brought about a strange look on River's face, until she realized that the Doctor was merely toying the grumpy dwarf.

However, Grumpy quickly caught on the hoax. "My name's Grumpy, not Dopey. I know a fairy when I see one, and you ain't a fairy."

"No," the Doctor said, "but I am a wizard."

River did her best to stifle a chuckle; clearly, she knew the Doctor was up to something…or at least she hoped he was.

"Wizard…right." Grumpy still was not buying the Doctor's lies. "Wizards have long white beards and wear pointy hats, buddy. You ain't got any of those."

A sly grin emerged on the face of the Doctor as he stuck his right arm – the arm that he held the sonic screwdriver with – through the bars and aimed his tool towards the cell door's lock. Grumpy watched as the tip of the sonic screwdriver glowed green and the lock snapped open, much to his immediate surprise (as well as River's). Removing the lock, the Doctor opened the cell door and stepped outside, lifting his arms up in the air triumphantly.

"Abracadabra!" He exclaimed.

River stepped out of the cell and went to the Doctor, seemingly amused. "You knew the lock was the only part of the cell that was immune to the sonic, didn't you?"

"No, of course I didn't." The Doctor whispered. "I was merely giving our little friend a good show. You see how out of his wits he is?"

River gazed back towards Grumpy, who was still trapped helplessly inside his cell, staring at the Doctor in a mixture of shock, suspicion, confusion, interest, and even a little hope. The dwarf was exactly in the state of mind that the Doctor described (and anticipated for) him to be. River was more impressed than she usually was with the Doctor's antics, grinning from ear to ear.

"C'mon. Let's move." The Doctor requested.

The two were just about to leave the dungeon area, until Grumpy called them back. "Hey! Let me out of here! I can help you!"

The Doctor slowly advanced on Grumpy's cell, somewhat pleased to see how desperate the rude dwarf had become. "Help us? A mere few minutes ago, you weren't willing to give us the time or day. Why should we let you help us?"

"Because I can get ya the meeting you want with George." Grumpy answered.

"Not interested." The Doctor quickly said.

Grumpy was struck with even more puzzlement. "Wait. You said…?"

"Keep up with the times, Grump! Escaping kingdoms are the new thing today, not having an audience with sadistic kings!" The Doctor exclaimed, moving away from Grumpy's cell once again.

Watching as the Doctor and River began to depart from the dungeon, Grumpy grasped the bars of his cell and shook them viciously. "Get back here, ya damned wizard! Let me out of here!" His furious demands echoed throughout the caverns that made up the dungeon, but they had fallen on deaf ears. Soon the dwarf was alone again, only much grumpier than he was before the strange "wizard" and his companion were there.