Chapter 9
"All the dark deeds I've done... They've taken their toll."
- Mr. Gold (4.18 Heart of Gold)
Henry's first stop was the nurse's station to have someone notify Dr. Whale that Mr. Gold was awake. His second stop was the lobby, where he called Archie and waited the ten minutes it took for him to arrive. He didn't explain much over the phone, just said that his grandfather was awake and they needed him right away.
What else was there to say? That the most powerful man in town, the one that everybody feared, cried and apologized to the wife who banished him and the grandson who cursed him? Henry had never seen him cry before, or admit guilt or failure with such utter lack of hope. The Rumplestiltskin he knew always had a plan, always had some trick up his sleeve, ready to save the day, even if it was dark magic. Even when he died, killing Pan in order to save everyone, he still had that spark of life, of hope. Not that he'd survive, of course. He had accepted his fate. But he died with the hope that his loved ones would be able to find their happy endings without him. Seeing him so broken now was concerning, and certainly not something Henry wanted to share with everyone who might overhear him in the hospital lobby.
The next time Rumplestiltskin woke, the ghosts were gone. Dr. Whale stood at the foot of his bed, making notes on a clipboard. When he saw that Gold was awake, he smirked and launched into some ridiculous drivel about science besting magic, no doubt with the intention of getting him to concede their decades-old rivalry.
Rumple wasn't listening.
He couldn't remember how he'd gotten here. The last thing he remembered was falling from that bridge into the canyon. A portal must have opened up beneath him. It was the only explanation. He caught the words "heart attack" and "coma" as Whale prattled on, and figured that had to account for the missing time. He'd crushed his own heart and survived; no doubt it registered as a heart attack as far as Whale's "science" was concerned. His curse must have done the rest, keeping him in a coma until the damage was repaired.
Only, it couldn't be repaired, could it?
His next visitor was the cricket.
"How are you feeling?" Hopper asked.
Rumple did his best to glare, but it was too much effort. "Like I should have stayed dead."
Hopper blinked and took a deep breath, closing the door to give them some privacy. "How much do you remember?"
"Enough."
The shrink took a seat away from the door. "Can you tell me what happened after Belle banished you?"
She died. "What does it matter?"
"It could matter a great deal, Mr. Gold. You've been unconscious for nearly two weeks. I'm only trying to help."
Rumple closed his eyes. Of course. They were looking for answers. He supposed he should be grateful it wasn't Regina or Emma hovering over him when he was so weak he couldn't even feel his magic. He wondered if it had been Hopper's idea. He doubted anyone else would have been considerate enough to keep Henry's moms off the warpath. Although, there was a high chance that they'd be bursting in here the moment Dr. Hopper left if he didn't say anything.
"I know what you're asking, but I can't give it to you." He had to distance himself from his next words. "They were dead when I found them." He opened his eyes and stared at the ceiling, focusing on his breathing and the shape of the light fixture in an effort to banish the memory of the cove. Thankfully, Hopper didn't ask who. Rumple didn't think he could make himself say it without breaking.
After a moment, Hopper cleared his throat. "Can we perhaps start with the town line?"
Rumple sighed. Fine. He'd stick to the basics. He didn't need to be psychoanalyzed by a cricket. "The barrier came down, I stepped across, and somehow ended up in the Enchanted Forest." He gestured with his hands as he spoke, but his movements felt heavy and not worth the effort.
"Like a portal, you mean?"
He wanted to snap at him, but couldn't manage it. "Yes. No. Not a visible one, anyway." Why was everything so muddled? He tried to remember what came next, but all he could see was the cove.
"Why the Enchanted Forest?" Hopper asked.
"Portals take you to wherever, or whomever, you're thinking of." They were getting dangerously close to what he wanted to avoid.
"Belle?"
Shit.
He closed his eyes against the tears that threatened to come, and prayed the doctor wouldn't press any further.
"You said 'they' before. Who else did you find?"
Shouldn't he know this already? He didn't think the cricket was stupid enough not to be able to connect the dots. But no, that wasn't a shrink's way, was it? He'd keep asking questions until Rumple told him what he was digging for.
He looked directly at Dr. Hopper. "There was a cove. Belle, Henry... Their bodies washed ashore, and I couldn't do anything." His vision blurred with tears. "We're done here. Tell the others I'm sorry about the boy... about everything." He closed his eyes and turned his head away. The tears spilled over, leaving wet trails down his face that he didn't have the strength to wipe away. He was too tired to fight it anymore.
So he cried.