Chapter 10

"I don't know what I'd do if I ever lost you."

- Rumplestiltskin (3.04 Nasty Habits)

When Dr. Hopper emerged from Mr. Gold's room, he motioned for Belle and Henry to follow him back to the lobby. Once there, he sat them down and told them what he'd learned.

"He believes you two are dead."

"What?" Belle gasped. "How? We were there when he woke up. He spoke to us."

Archie fiddled with the hat in his hands. "I can only assume he believed you weren't really there. Like an apparition or hallucination. He was extremely reluctant to talk about what he experienced. I can't say how much he remembers from it, but I do believe the only reason he told me anything was because he thought Henry's family sent me to interrogate him."

"But you did tell him we're okay, right?" Henry sat on the edge of his seat. "That we're not dead, and we really were there when he woke up?"

"No, Henry. I don't think that would be very helpful at the moment. Your grandfather just woke up from an intense magical hallucination, during which he suffered two heart attacks. Whatever he experienced these past two weeks, he recognizes it as reality. If we reveal to him the truth right now, we run the risk that he'll reject all of us as the hallucination."

"So what can we do?" Belle asked.

"We give him time to adjust. Let him come to the truth on his own. Visit him, but be mindful of how he reacts. If he asks you to leave, do so. Don't try to convince him you're real, but don't act like a ghost either. Talk to the nurses and anyone else who comes into the room. If he questions you, don't confirm his assumptions. Let him come to his own conclusions."

Easier said than done, Henry thought.

The third time he woke, Rumplestiltskin noticed the rose. It sat on the table next to his bed, floating suspended beneath a glass dome. Three petals lay fallen beneath it. Three. One for each of those he'd lost in the cove.

He blinked. That wasn't right. Bae had died here, in the forest. Had he dreamed his son was there? That had to be it. He'd been so destroyed by his grief that he'd crushed his own heart. Recalling another reminder of his failure was hardly surprising.

They'd all been there at the canyon, though, even if he couldn't see them. The dead had wanted him to live. He realized that now. Falling from that bridge hadn't meant death. It was life, the portal that would return his soul to his body. Bae, Belle, Henry. They knew that. The thought of their love wrapped him in warmth so tender he thought he might cry again.

He closed his eyes and tried to hold on to that feeling. He wanted to bottle it, preserve it for the rest of his life so he'd never have to fall asleep at night without its comforting embrace. He was a fool to have thrown it away by deceiving Belle with the dagger.

The whiff of her lavender perfume was stronger than a memory, cutting through the antiseptic stink of the hospital. It electrified his senses, set his heart beat racing, and suddenly there she was, holding his hand and brushing his hair out of his eyes.

"Hey," she said when their eyes met.

"Hey." He breathed in her perfume and sighed. If this was a dream, at least it was a good dream. "Belle..."

"Shhh. It's okay, Rumple. You don't have to worry about us. We're okay."

He shook his head. "I'm sorry about the dagger. I should have given it back to you after I killed Zelena. I was going to... I-I-I did, in fact. For a moment. But then I saw the box containing the Sorcerer's hat... and I couldn't." Belle was frowning at him, but didn't pull away, so he continued. "I needed that hat to free myself from the dagger's control without sacrificing my magic."

"You don't need magic."

"Every Dark One tried to get that hat. Only I succeeded. I needed to do what I did. I needed to be free from Zelena ever happening again." She didn't look convinced. He shook his head and withdrew his hand from hers. He missed the contact almost immediately, but forced the ache aside, wrapping his arms across his torso as tight as the hospital wires and his weakened limbs would allow. "Why do I even bother? I don't know if you're a ghost or an hallucination, dearie, but I can't make you understand. You're not real." He had turned away and closed his eyes as he spoke, but he still heard her intake of breath.

"Rumple..."

"If you were real, if you weren't..." He couldn't say it, not with the memory of her so close, so lifelike. "You wouldn't be here. I'm only a beast, remember? I don't deserve a chance to explain. You can't even trust me enough when you hold my dagger in your hands to permit me to stay." His fists clenched in an effort to will away the tears forming beneath his eyelids. His next words came out as a harsh whisper. "You banished me. You sent me away and you died." He broke, drowning. "You died because I wasn't good enough to protect you."

A cool hand touched his. "Isn't there anything I can do?"

"Stay," he sobbed, not caring that she wasn't real. "Don't leave me."

So long as he didn't look, he could pretend that she was really there.