The death of Supergirl began an event foreseen by few, if any. The shock brought on by her death quickly turned into anger. Superman was swift in reminding the others of the Justice Lords, urging the heroes of the League to keep from that path. What happened next shocked the villains as much as the rest of the world. Martian Manhunter, surrounded by dozens of League members, broadcasted a message across the world for a single man to see. "You have taken something from us," he said. "Something precious, borrowed from the universe. Something that can never be returned to us. But we are here to tell you, Slade Wilson, that we have had enough. No longer will we allow you to take, to destroy. We will drag you from the shadows to face justice in the light. We are at war, Slade Wilson. You would do well to prepare yourself for it."

So it began. No hero went anywhere alone from then on. Instead of pairs, squads of heroes were formed. If a hero wasn't part of a team, they formed groups of their own, or were assigned them. It wasn't long before it became clear that Slade was gathering support, and the war began in truth. The battles began to spill over into the streets after just a few days. Soon, large scale battles were being fought, with dozens involved on both sides. Sometimes the League won, and sometimes they lost. At times, both sides would retreat to lick their wounds and fight another day. At the worst of times, a hero or villain would die. All the while, the League devoted every available member to the search for Slade.

We first found him several hundred miles west of Gotham. Using several villains as cover, he escaped the battle and fled towards Gotham with his unfinished weapon. It became a pattern for us to find Slade in one of the towns or cities surrounding Gotham. Slade would escape by throwing a handful of villains at the pursuing heroes, and hide out in another nearby city. This cycle continued for several weeks, and the League began to face a serious problem. At every encounter, villains would be sent to prison, but while the prisons they were sent to had the means to contain them, they had no way to prevent other villains from breaking them out. The majority of the escapees would return to Slade, allowing him to evade the League again.

The obvious solution was for heroes to be stationed in the prisons. This had two effects. The amount of villains Slade had at his disposal was drastically reduced. Because of this, Slade was forced to alter his tactics. Instead of using the majority of his forces to distract us during his escape, Slade began sacrificing the weakest few, and fleeing with the rest. Even so, we were sure it was just a matter of time. More than that, many in the League hoped we would be right. The list of casualties on both sides was getting too long for anyone's tastes. Mr. Freeze, Captain Boomerang, the villainous Dr. Light, Hawk, and Dove were among those who had perished, but by no means the only ones.

And so we pressed on. Finally we got wind of Slade appearing in Gotham itself. As the Titans gathered in the city to search for Slade once again, I noticed Nightwing eyeing me. I knew what he was thinking about. The Titans had split into two groups on our last mission. I'd been paired with Raven and Starfire to resolve a hostage situation at a school. "Nick, before I go over the plan, I need to ask you something," Nightwing said, turning to face me fully. I stared impassively back at him, while Starfire tensed behind me, and Raven pulled her cloak tighter around herself. "What they're saying about the last mission, about you and Dr. Light, is it true?" he asked. My face darkened, but I continued to ignore him until he sighed, realizing what was wrong. "Alright, Rue then" he conceded, using my new code name. "Is it true," he repeated. "Did you really kill him?"

I clenched my hand into a tight fist, saying, "I killed him. Don't look at me that way, Nightwing!" My voice came out harshly, and I took a moment to steady it, but even so, it shook. "You weren't there," I told him. "You didn't see what he'd done. What he was doing."

Starfire stopped me, placing her hand gently on my shoulder. "He is right, Nightwing," she informed him softly. "You were not there to witness those horrors. Raven and I saw, and we support Rue fully." She grimaced slightly, saying quietly, "Though I wish he would not use that name."

"Are you going to tell me what happened," Nightwing asked sternly.

Starfire sighed. "If you insist," she reluctantly agreed. "We entered the school without resistance. We found Dr. Light in the gymnasium. What we found was not a hostage situation. Our Dr. Light was there as well. She was on the ground, naked and very still. At first, I thought she was dead, but I could hear her crying. Dr. Light, he had..." she trailed off, unable to continue.

Raven picked up where Starfire left off, her voice strained. "He'd raped her. He wasn't holding those children hostage, Nightwing. He was killing them."

Nightwing looked horrified, and I told him, "There was never a real choice. It was their lives or his. Anything less would have cost too much."

"Sometimes there's no good choice," Nightwing agreed quietly. "For what it's worth though, I think you made the right one." He straightened, saying,

"Rue, scout ahead. You know what to do if you encounter Slade." I nodded. "The rest of us will follow behind you. We'll be backing up other teams in the area until you give us a signal." I made a visual check of my gear, and headed out.

I stuck to the shadows for the most part. If I saw a situation that needed handling, I relayed it to the others. If I could handle it myself, I did so, but more often than not what I found required more than one body. Sometimes what I found was a group of criminals, and sometimes it was a building on fire or in danger of collapsing. As I entered a small park, I noticed someone crouched beside a bush. A woman, by the looks of it. I slowly approached, asking quietly if she needed help. When she stood and turned around, however, I stopped cold. With red hair, a body that most women would kill for, and her revealing, plant themed costume, it could only be Poison Ivy. While many considered Ivy dangerous, and she certainly was, I had done extensive research on the villains I was likely to come across, and had a different opinion of her. Poison Ivy could be cold, ruthless, and obsessive about nature, but in the past she had also shown herself capable of having a kinder, gentler side to her. I was convinced that she could be that person more, if a suitable compromise could be found. She gave me a large, friendly smile as she started a sultry walk towards me. I stood motionless until she reached me, her arms reaching out to embrace me. "Ivy." The word was soft, but held a warning in it. Her eyes met mine for a moment, before she smiled again, and her cheek brushed mine as she wrapped her arms around me gently.

"Slade sent me to distract you," she admitted freely. "He's promised me much, and I'm sure he plans to deliver nothing." She pulled away and her smile because wistful. "But you, you're not tempted, are you?"

I shook my head, sighing. "No," I stated, plainly and honestly. "If you had found me before all this began, perhaps even after I escaped Slade, the answer might well have been 'yes,' but those days have passed." I shifted to look her in the eyes again. "This doesn't have to end badly, Ivy. I know you have goodness in you. I can find a way to give you what you need. A place for nature to thrive, where you can live in peace." I reached a hand out to her. "All you have to do is say yes, Ivy," I told her.

Her look softened, and I saw uncertainty. "Can you do that," she questioned. "Can you make me a promise I can believe in?"

My words failed me for a moment as her voice forced me to choke back my own emotions. "I promise," I finally managed. "I promise that I will make this happen for you. I promise that I will help you as others have helped me. And if I can not protect your place of happiness, I promise I will seek vengeance on your behalf." It was more than I had originally wanted to promise, but I could see that like me, she needed someone to trust. If I couldn't do this for her, someone so much like me, what good was I? She took a moment to let my words soak in, and smiled once more. This time, it was a genuine, happy smile. Once more, I found myself in her arms, with her voice whispering in my ear.

"Thank you," she said. "Be careful. Another awaits you ahead. Do not underestimate him." Her words made me cold inside. Slade had sent her out to me, both of them expecting failure, and possibly death. It was one of the things I hated most about Slade. Everyone was expendable, just a pawn to be sacrificed. I stepped back, still holding her hands, and smiled at her.

"Go now," I told her. "The Titans are behind me, they will see you to a safe place. When this is over, I will help you find your new home." Neither of us looked back as we separated.

I continued ahead cautiously, the warning from Ivy constantly in my thoughts. I didn't have much time to ponder the identity of who would be waiting for me. Soon I was drawn to a sound, a dull thud which became clearer as I approached. Something solid striking flesh, over and over. As I rounded the corner, a grisly scene came into view. The Joker, with a lead pipe in hand, laughing his trademark maniacal laugh as he struck the still form of The Question over and over. He stopped mid-swing as I came closer, and turned to face me. "Oooh, he's finally here," he cackled out. "It's a good thing, too, because I was starting to get bored." He gestured at Question with the pipe. "It's all in good fun while they're screaming, but once that stops it's just 'whack, whack, whack,' and that's just no fun." He grinned at me as he tossed the pipe down, but the humor in it was sick, twisted. "But now you're here." He pulled a large knife from one of his over sized pockets, idly scraping his chin with the blade. "Let's see what it sounds like when you scream." As the last, forceful word left his mouth, he lunged with the blade. I wasn't caught off guard, however. Batman and Nightwing had taken the time to make sure I understood how unbalanced and unpredictable Joker could be. I deflected the blow as I sidestepped, causing him to overextend in his step. In a eerily fluid motion, the Joker quite literally rolled with the blow, coming to his feet in a springy, bouncy motion, not losing a moment as he continued to swing and jab at me. Hours of explanations, recalled scenarios, and detailed analysis, yet I began to realize how little I had truly understood what Batman meant when he continuously described the Joker as unpredictable. Sweat began to bead on my forehead as I attempted to evade, parry, and deflect his attacks. And yet, somehow, each swing was just a bit closer than the last. And, finally, it happened. With a cry of triumph, followed by uproarious laughter, his knife sank into my side. My breath left me in a hoarse shout.

Almost as if we were in sync, the Joker and I leapt away from each other, and regarded each other. My gaze serious, his blatantly amused and joyful. "So there it is," he mused, as he looked downwards in thought. "Not bad, I guess. And here Slade was so worried that I couldn't handle you. It was fun, kid, even if it didn't last."

I chuckled softly, causing him to jerk his head up to glare at me. "Don't get smug, Joker," I said. "There's no reason to think I won't win. After all, you've gone down for more people than Harley, haven't you?" It was supposed to be a light jab, something he'd laugh at. He didn't.

"Harley was a good girl," he practically shouted at me. My eyes narrowed at the word 'was.' "Bit of a tendency to talk too much, of course. That's really what got her," he stopped mid sentence, looking a bit lost. I blinked at the uncharacteristic display. "I never really meant to, you know," he said softly. "There we were, getting ready for, well, this. And I was feeling, well, out of sorts. I'd been feeling funny since we joined up with Slade. Always a little irritated, like a tiny little headache behind my eyes that would just never go away. Then she just started talking about how after this we'd finally be able to take down Bats." He looked at me, and for a few moments his visage softened, displaying genuine regret. "I'm not sure why, it as just typical Harley, but it really ticked me off. Suddenly, I was shouting at her, something about Bats being mine. Then I just... started hitting her. I was always a bit rough on Harley, you know. And she'd always bounce back." His eyes grew distant, as he said, "Not this time. After I started hitting her, I didn't stop. I couldn't." He stared at me, only half seeing me. "You know when I knew something was wrong? She started crying. Crying and begging me to stop. Harley never cried, not really. Even when she'd get roughed up, she just took it. But this time she was scared. Can you imagine? Harley, scared of her 'Puddin'." His eyes focused on me again. "Who's going to call me 'Puddin' or a million other stupid, stupid names now," he demanded. "Nobody, that's who." He sat down, tossing down the knife. "You can call Bats now," he told me. "Somehow, I don't find things quite so funny anymore." I put in the call, relaying the situation. I crouched down near Question as I examined him, waiting for the emergency shuttle I knew was being dispatched for him. He was alive, and somehow, conscious, if barely.

"Too late," he slurred out. "I didn't see what Slade wanted until it was too late for her." I knew what he meant, but said nothing. "It's so much bigger," he warned me urgently. "There's someone behind Slade, someone hidden in the shadows."

"We'll deal with it," I assured him. "Just rest for now. Help is coming."

When Batman arrived, I quietly recalled to him what had happened. Even with the mask, I could tell he was shocked.

"I'll have to verify this," he told me. "But we've been getting statements from other villains of unusual behavior, and some have reported similar small headaches. Something's not right here. Joker wouldn't go that far, not with Harley. He's insane, but not stupid." I would later find out that what we feared was indeed true. The Joker had killed Harley in a fit of rage.

The time had come. After chasing him for so long, Slade came into view. Not far from where the Joker had stood, Slade was perched upon the roof of a tall building. His device sat nearby, a thrum of power emanating from it. He stood still in the middle of the roof, watching patiently, and I knew somehow that it was me he was waiting for. I wasted no time in making my way to the top, and moved to stand in front of him. "You've been waiting for me," I observed. "Why? You could have done whatever you've been planning this entire time. But you waited."

"Of course I waited," he said, his tone for once not condescending. "It wouldn't feel right to win without this. If I did, there'd always be that nagging thought in both of our minds, wondering where this fight would have taken us. And if there's one thing I am loathe to do, it is to leave something unfinished." His eyes flashed behind me as the Titans made their way to the roof. "And now we're all here. Shall we get started?"

Slade was extremely skilled. He was adept at fighting multiple opponents at once, and it showed, as he used his body, weapons, and even the environment to hamper our ability to gain the advantage. Changling couldn't transform into any of his larger forms, or he risked collapsing the building. Starfire couldn't fire any of her stronger starbolts for the same reason. We had limited space to maneuver, and while it applied to Slade equally, he was was well versed in using every inch available to him. In a more open area, we would have won, without much issue. Here, we were losing. When Slade found an opening to knock Changeling out and kick him aside, I knew I had to change things up somehow. I only saw one way to do it, and although I knew it wasn't ideal, I began to steer the fight subtly towards the Ionized Echo Cannon. When I had Slade in front of it, I 'accidentally' missed a swing, slicing through the machine. Immediately it began to spark and whine, and everyone turned to look at it. The power began to slowly build in it, throwing out electricity around it. Clearly, it was overloading. I took a deep breath, readying myself for the next step. "Go," I told the Titans. "I'll take care of this."

Nightwing turned towards me, concerned. "Can you stop it," He asked. I shrugged.

"I can try," I replied. "If nothing else, I can limit the damage. Go."

Almost as one, they departed, with Starfire carrying the unconscious Changeling. Raven floated over to me, laying a hand on my cheek to force me to look at her. "Don't you dare die," she whispered.

I smiled at her. "Not ready to date other people?"

A small smile crossed her face. "I'm sort of fond of the one I'm with right now. Make sure you bring him back to me." She drifted away towards the other Titans.

I turned back to Slade, who was crouched by the Cannon, examining it. He stood and faced me. "Well, there's no stopping it now," he informed me. "I'd say you have a choice now, stop me or save the city." He took a few steps away from the Cannon. "I'm going to guess you want the latter." I grinned at him, and suddenly he and the cannon were surrounded by a blue shield of energy. He narrowed his eye at me. "And here I thought heroes didn't kill."

"I'm not a hero," I told him. I reached into my utility belt, pulling out a small, jagged shard of kryptonite. "This right here is enough reason for me." I didn't need to explain what it was to Slade. he knew all too well. After a few moments, I slipped it back into the belt. "No," I whispered, "I'm not a hero, Slade. You made sure of that yourself. All I am now is a soldier of darkness, trying to find his way back to the light. I'd finally found sparks of light in this dark world, beautiful people who could guide me. You've taken some of them from me, Slade. And because I'm not a hero, I can do what they can't. I can walk that dark line to make sure they never have to."

The Cannon was near its limits now, and Slade and I knew there wasn't much time. I began to shrink the shield, forcing him closer to it. "They'll never accept you," he warned me. "You'll always be the outsider, looked down on. Are you really willing to live that way?"

"Yes," I said simply. "If that's what it takes. I don't believe that's entirely true, but even if it were, I would accept it. And if there is a day that I can walk among them in the light, that would be wonderful. Until then, I will stand between them and the darkness." With a loud roar, the Ionized Echo Cannon exploded, and I jerked slightly and grunted with the powerful impact upon my shield. I watched as Slade was engulfed in the powerful energy storm that ensued.

"You've only eliminated the middle man," his words drifted out to me. "There is someone far more powerful coming. Prepare."

The swirling energies from the explosion raged against my shield as I raised it into the air, and I felt the strain. Ordinarily, there were two ways that a power worked in relation to drain. The first type was simple, like a battery. When the power was gone, that was it. The second type occured when someone had the willpower or simple ability to extend their power by using their own life force. For the most part, my powers operated off of the second type. With the shield, however, it was slightly different. When my reserve of power ran low, I could extend it by transfering the force exerted upon it to my own body, thus lessening the strain on the actual shield. And, as the force inside my shield threatened to breach it, I began to do just that. The skin on my arm began to burn and blacken as the transer began, and despite my efforts, I cried out at the immense pain. My breath came in short gasps as a burn began to form across my torso, and I fell to my knees as cauterized gashes formed on my legs. Finally, I fell onto my side, and the shield collapsed, and the explosion roared thunderously as it passed over my head. It spread for a few moments before dieing out completely. I slowly pulled out my communicator, but it dropped from my damaged hands before I could press the distress button. It didn't go far, but I didn't have the strength to reach for it. I didn't really need to, anyhow. I knew the Titans would be coming back. So, without another option, I waited. When they did arrive, I heard Starfire gasp at my condition from behind me. I heard the others, quietly reassuring her as they approached. Nightwing knelt beside me, his face serious. "Slade," he questioned.

"Dead," I rasped out. No more questions were asked as we waited for the evac shuttle. Onboard, they gave me what limited medical care they could. Once we arrived at the Watchtower, they rushed me to their medical center, where I was told it would be weeks before I could function normally again. As was to be expected, the League was not willing to wait that long before speaking to me. They allowed a week to pass before summoning me before the founding members. Although I was in some pain, I was rational and able to answer said summons, and so I did.

As I sat in a chair before them, the founding members stared silently at me for some time before speaking, almost as if sizing me up. "Rue, you know why you're here, don't you," asked Superman.

"Yes," I answered. "I'm here because I killed Slade."

"That's right," Superman verified. "But this isn't the first time you've killed while fighting for our side. More importantly, there is a greater issue at hand than the killing itself." He motioned for Martian Manhunter to speak.

"We have reason to believe that Slades death may not have been an accident," Manhunter informed me. "Do you deny this?"

"No," I told him. "There's no reason to deny it. I killed him, and I did it on purpose."

"Why did you do it," Manhunter asked. "You are well aware that we do not condone killing. Explain yourself."

I sighed and leaned forward. "I did it because I hated him." Supermans eyes narrowed as he stared at me, but he didn't interrupt. "I did it because we were losing. I did it because I didn't see any other way that we could win or even retreat without one of us winding up dead. I did it because I didn't want anyone else to make the choice between his life and one of ours."

Superman frowned and opened his mouth, but Wonder Woman beat him to the punch. "You don't trust us with that decision?"

I shook my head. "You misunderstand me," I said softly. "It's not that I don't trust you. You all deserve better than to have to make that kind of choice. The world looks up to you. It's better for me to do this than you. I can afford for the entire world to hate me, if it comes to that. You can't. It doesn't make it entirely right. I know that. But it's a decision I can live with, if it means nobody else dies and you can continue to save lives."

They looked at each other briefly, then back at me. "I know you speak the truth," Manhunter spoke up. "While not my usual course of action, I have looked inside your mind. And while you are correct in your statement that your reasons do not entirely excuse your actions, I find that I can not entirely fault you either. I can not speak for the others. You were in a situation with no truly good way out. That much is clear. And I do believe you have the best of intentions for the League as a whole. Therefore, I can place no judgement upon you." I looked at the rest of them. The Flash, Wonder Woman, Batman, the Green Lantern Hal Jordan, Superman, and Hawkgirl.

"I understand your reasons, and your actions," Wonder Woman told me. "Like the others, I do not condone killing. But this was, as J'onn said, a situation with no good outcome in sight. I understand your need and desire to protect your teammates. And although I do not like decisions to be made for me, your concern for our image is appreciated. It is hard to condemn your actions when they display how deeply you care for the League and your fellow members. Like J'onn, I can not find it in myself to pass judgement on you."

"Killing is never a good solution," Batman said. He leaned forward, crossing his arms. "That said, what do you do when there isn't a good solution to begin with? The answer is difficult. Do you take the chance that someone dies so you don't have to kill, or do you kill to protect someone? It's a question I ask myself often when fighting, especially with Joker. I have to live with my decision each time. In the same way, you made your choice, and now you'll have to live with it."

Superman spoke up next. "I don't agree with your decision, Nick. I know the situation was desperate. I know there weren't many options. But I think you let your emotions regarding Slade cloud your judgement. I understand how difficult it would be to avoid it." His face softened. "But this isn't what Kara would have wanted for you. You know just like the rest of the League what happened with the Justice Lords. You need to be careful, Nick. Don't let yourself go down that path. You made a terrible choice, and a bad decision, but I believe there's still hope for you. You aren't evil. That much is clear to me. I want to help you find your way back to where you belong."

Hal Jordan fidgeted before leaning forward, his face angry. "I'm not okay with this, Rue. It's wrong. You should have found another way. What makes you any different than him now?" Wonder Woman placed her hand on his shoulder, murmering his name. Hal took a deep breath before saying, "Perhaps that's a bit far. But not by much. We've all been in sticky situations before, and found a better way. I don't want you defaulting to killing people when it's just the easiest way. It's an easy trap to fall into. You need to be more careful." For a moment he looked like he had more to say, but then he just leaned back, looking pensive.

There was silence for a few moments before Hawkgirl spoke. "I'm a warrior. I understand that sometimes, there is a hard choice to make, with no way out. We can't save everybody, and sometimes you have to make the choice of who lives and who dies. It sucks. And I hope you never have to make it again, but in our line of work, hoping is all I can do. I'd rather not kill. I'm sure you would prefer that as well. So just do your best. Trust your team and trust yourself. That's all I have to say."

"I guess that just leaves me, then." Flash shuffled his feet nervously. "This isn't the most comfortable conversation, and I've had to think of a lot of scenarios and ask myself a lot of hard questions because of it." He rubbed his head idly. "I don't like killing either. None of us do. I think that goes without saying. And usually I'm the first to crack a joke. Not here. I've fought my villains so many times that I've pratically lost count. I've fought with Supes and Diana and the others too. For us it's just second nature to find a way that doesn't involve killing. I guess we expect everyone else to do it too. And I think that's fair, for the most part. Everyone should try. And I do think you could have found a way, if you'd trusted your team." He sighed and dropped his head for a moment before lifting it again to look me in the eyes. "But then, I had to remember to put myself in your shoes. You got kidnapped and made into a villain. You even had a codename. Berserker. Slade made you kill people before we were able to rescue you. And then look what happened. You tried hard to be like us. Really hard. But you were so broken, Slade still found a way to make you kill. You had to learn to trust your team enough to let them fix you. You've done really well since then. I know all of that. But when I try to look at it all from your eyes, I can see why this happened. Your situation was bad. Not only are you just recovering from all that happened, you must have been terrified when you thought someone was going to die. I can see why you did what you did. Like I said, I don't agree with it. And I want you to learn to make better decisions. But I understand. It's hard enough for someone with our experience to do. For someone new at all this, it's even harder. I will say this, though. Supes was right. Supergirl wouldn't have wanted this for you."

They withdrew then, deliberating for a short time. When they returned, they stood in front of me, rather than sitting. "Rue, after careful consideration, we have come to a decision," Martian Manhunter said. "We have decided that you may remain within the League. However, we wish for you to work with not only your team, but us gathered here and select other to improve your tactical thinking. You must hone your teamwork as well, in order to garner the trust and ability required to make decisions like the one regarding Slade. This will continue until we are confident you can be put on active duty again. You may go now." I stood, and left the chamber to find the Titans waiting for me outside. We talked about what had been said, and what had happened that night with Slade. Together, we agreed that it was best to start working on the issues right away. As we walked back towards the training area we used, I felt Ravens hand grasp mine. And as I looked over at her and saw that small smile play across her face, everything began to look just a little brighter.

A/N: This has been a long journey. But now, we've finally reached the end of Part 1 of the story! I'll be working on a second part to this story, so please, let me know any thoughts you have about this story, or the eventual sequel.