A/N: I only own the idea
While the spirit can be held captive for many lifetimes when it comes to love, Hannibal only knew brief flashes. Clarice, more receptive to it immediately felt the ache in her soul when his fingers left her face. Perhaps if she has dabbled more in less professional relations with others her body would have reached out to him in order to keep him close. Inexperience stilled her hand however, and she only was able to reach out with her eyes as he stepped back.
With his touch no longer a distraction, her mind began to race. The weight of frantic thoughts became too much for her. Wishing she could handle them better, she broke eye contact. Turning away she walked to a chair and dropped in to it. The weariness in her bones, as well as guilt and anxiety had aided gravity as it pulled her down.
The breath she had drawn in to calm herself was tainted by the coppery smell of blood. It stuck inside her and she could not release it. Had she helped kill that man? What if her actions led to them getting caught? No more bars. No more glass. Fear made her breaths come out of her in shotgun bursts.
"Self defence," he spoke the two words as if they were a talisman for her to wield. "With what he was trying to do to you, what would the other option have been? Rest assured, my dear, you are nothing like me."
Her eyes lifted seeking his face. "Would you still want me if I were?" Pounding began in her temples. Keeping her eyes level she continued. "When he screamed, when I stopped him with my own hands, I felt something. I got lost in the act and now they have a body to track you. Loosing you now scares me more then losing myself."
Once again he was close to her. Breath warmed her cold skin between his words as he shook his head. "I would not." His eyes burnt her skin as he continued to speak. "The world is a better place with you in it just as you are. Do not let your thoughts run wild over a chemical response to danger Clarice. Remember, my dear, you asked me to stop before I broke his neck. Had you been close to anything like me he would have already been dead before I laid a finger on him. Put your mind at ease. I am not so easily caught. The world is a big place. If you lose yourself I will no longer have my window from which to view it."
Words were always so easy for him. They calmed her mind almost as effectively as his touch. Finding the meaning in them was difficult when her mind was so prone to overthinking them however.
"I wish I could look through your window." She lowered her head. "I feel like I keep getting lost every time I think I've found it. I just want to know your mind the way you know mine." Her cheeks flushed as she continued, "I want to know your touch the way the other..." she stumbled for a word to use for the company he had kept.
When his fingers captured the few strands of her hair that had escaped from its place behind her ear she stopped searching. A gentle tug of those same strands made her eyes once again find his. "You burn so bright when you're brave Clarice. While your body wants my touch, your spirit wants the rest. You, my dear, are all consuming. I am unaccustomed to being devoured. Rest assured that while others have shared my bed you are the only one who has shared my life."
"Would it help?" Her words came out a squeak, "if I shared your bed?"
A clenched jaw had not been the response she was looking for. Lowering her eyes to her hands she began to twist her fingers.
A soft touch lifted her chin even though his eyes were hard to her. "You're not a tool Clarice! I say no to you now. Realize it's not a easy refusal. Understand me when I tell you it's not a rejection. Curiosity killed the cat my dear. Do you think I am immune to wanting you? Does it make you insecure? Listen when I tell you it's not a lack of desire that stills my hand, but a lack of knowledge. Taking you to bed would be easy, giving you the rest is difficult. Let me try. Tonight has shown me I am not yet able to be the cause of your pain or blood shed. Perhaps when I am able to tell you about my past you will understand why I hesitate. "
While he spoke his eyes had held her's. When he lowered them she realized he was afraid. Here was a man who had killed just as many people as he had charmed and he was looking at her as if she were the threat.
"You're probably thinking I should make an attempt at a answer huh?" She was rewarded with a ghost of a smile. "I told you I would walk beside you. I guess sometimes my eagerness makes me run too fast. I'm sorry I push so hard."
How many times would he shake his head at her today? "Do not apologize for wanting the least you deserve. Push gently, do so knowing I am not easily guided." He tucked the hair he had pulled moments before behind her ear.
Shifting in the chair she became aware that she still wore the soiled dress. "I think I should get this off now before the blood hardens any more then it already has."
Had his eyes darkened again? Was that how desire looked? She shuddered as the realization that he had looked at her like that before settled over her.