A/N: I only own the idea

The house they had shared was left behind them as they headed for the airport. Traveling always made her nervous as anxiety would make her mind run wild. What if this were their last car ride together? What if, when they landed, someone was waiting to take him away from her. This time she knew he wouldn't be put in a cell. This time he would end up in the ground. Shuddering from the thought she tried to focus on the road ahead of her. He had said the flight would be a few hours. Once they landed and were driving again she would feel better.

The touch of his hand roused her from her thoughts. "Nothing to worry about, by dear. Best not let your imagination carry you away when we have not yet left the ground hmm." Reassuringly he squeezed her hand. "Be at ease," his voice reflected the calm she wished she could feel.

As the airport came in to view she took a couple of deep breaths to calm her nerves. These were the parts she hated. Would they ever be aloud to just exist together without having to run. When she glanced over at him briefly she knew there was no other person in the world she would rather be beside, regardless if it were running or standing still.

Like he so often was he had been right. With little effort they boarded their flight. As the plane left the runway she allowed herself to relax a little bit. Where would they stand with one another after this was all finished? Would he be able to accept her love? Would he be able to love her in return? His voice, as it often did, roused her from her thoughts.

"Always so deep in your own mind. Do I occupy a space in it? How much, do you think, you take up in mine?"

What a question. Wasn't it obvious? If he was willing to give her so much, the least she could do is answer him truthfully. "Always." A single word made no room for doubt.

"All good things I hope?" His eyes found hers and held her gaze. When she nodded he gently touched her cheek. "Where we are going, it will not look the same now as it did when I was young. I will paint you a picture in your mind if you like. If that is not enough, later I can sketch you a picture from memory."

Surprised he was jumping in to things so fast she looked over at him. Did he think she would close her eyes while he filled her mind with images of his past? Did he think she would allow him to distract her from him with his words while he fell apart while she viewed his home from behind closed eyes? Shaking her head she chose her words with care. "I want nothing more then to drift on your voice when you paint me a mental picture. For this though, I intend to keep my eyes open. I won't float away on your words, not when I want to stay here with you. I know what your trying to do, it won't work. I want to see you, you can't really think I'll let you hypnotize me so I won't, do you?"

When he didn't answer her she wondered if she had said the wrong thing again. Sighing she took his hand in hers. "I can't get lost in your words when I need to be here, it's just another way to keep me at arms length. I told you I wouldn't push for more, and I won't. If you want to capture me with that voice of yours and glaze me over while you try to cope with this alone, fine. Just know that at night, when we go to sleep I will fight to snap out of it and try to find you. I will always try to find you." Pulling her hand out of his she rested it in her lap. She had to stay true to her word, even if it was counter productive.

How could she claim not to know him yet see him so clearly. Hannibal was undecided as to weather he felt pride or agitation in this moment. She had called him out with such accuracy it made him uneasy, then surprisingly he felt remorse. This was a emotion he was not accustomed to feeling. Sighing he attempted to fix the damage he caused. "You're far to observant for someone who claims not to know me. You're right, I hoped you would let me whisk you away, and yes, you're also right it won't help. Exposure is something I struggle with. More then that though, the idea of going back there when there is nothing, it makes me uneasy. The idea of letting you see me like this, it's difficult for me."

Picking her nails in agitation she replied. "So you planned to what? Turn me in to some sort of zombie to avoid letting me see you? I've done so much, and I thought the other night when you let me sleep with you that you were finally starting to trust me..." her words trailed off as she felt her eyes begin filling with tears. "Fucking emotions! Just once i wish I could be like you! I'm tired of being scraped raw for your viewing pleasure!"

Mischa's cries suddenly invaded his mind. Things were happening too fast and he felt the control of the situation slipping from his hands, the way his sister had been pulled from them so many years ago. Keeping his voice low he desperately tried to fix things. "Please don't be angry. Her favourite colour was purple, Mischa had blonde hair that smelled like sunshine, touching it felt like silk. Her fingers were pudgy and baby-like. When I was eight, soldiers invaded my family home. They killed my parents and captured us children. They were hungry and I wasn't strong enough, they took her and ate her and I couldn't save her. Please, don't leave. I was wrong. That is all of it, I have nothing but places that hold only emptiness and memories." As he spoke his breaths came quicker. Had he realized he was crying? She sat frozen absorbing all he had said. His sister was eaten? He was so young. Anger melted away and was replaced with a sadness that emanated deep within her.

"You were so young, what could you have done. It wasn't your fault." She didn't try to stop these tears from falling. "I'm not leaving, just, you have to trust me. I'm not something you can bend to fit your will, I think all your other women served that purpose."

Shaking his head he angrily wiped his cheeks. "I was told to look after her and I let her down. The last thing she said before they, before they took her was my name. She called out to me and I couldn't save her. As for you, I don't want to control you, I just, didn't want to do this."

Wishing they were not on a plane she replied, "I told you we didn't have to go. We still don't. When we land we can figure out another plan. Don't tell me it has to do with vulnerability though because I won't believe you. I think you're at that point now. I'm still here. You can hurt me and push me away and I'll still be here. I'm vulnerable too. I...I love you. It doesn't get any more vulnerable then that. I've loved you from the day you first hurt me and slowly picked me apart. When I played passive in hopes you would love me to. When you pushed me away as I tried to get closer. And here I am still loving you when you hardly trust me enough to tell me what happened to you. You're scared? So am I. I think it's normal. But here I am open and vulnerable and still beside you." Struggling to catch her breath she fought to gain control of her emotions. As she spoke he had gone very still. Had she just said she would stay, after he had tried to turn her own mind against her. Following that, did she just say she loved him? Was she waiting for him to do the same? He had went to open his mouth but still she had more to say.

"Don't delude me by saying it back. I know right now you can't. I hope one day you will. As for your family, you know I can understand in some ways. I can't make it better. I'm not stupid enough to think I could ever take that pain away, but if I could take her place..."

"Stop!" The tone of his voice, while not loud enough to draw attention made her do just that. "Do you know, if you break a teacup it will never come back together? Even if you pick up every shard and glue it back, it will never be the same. When you first came to me I thought that in you, I could bring her back. Then the barriers were removed and I've told you, the world is better with you in it. I couldn't stop them from taking her from me, but with you I can try. Allow me to be the selfish one and ask for your strength. I have held on to her for so long now and I need to let her go, but you're right, I can't do it alone."

Looking at him then she knew she would help him. It was as natural to her as taking her next breath. As the plane started to land she looked at him, she wanted nothing more then to wrap her arms around him. "What do you need? How can I help?"

Picking up her hand from her lap he met her eyes. "Don't leave. Let me try to figure out how to...do this with you, help me let her go by allowing me to hold on to you."

As the planes wheels touched down she nodded her head. She would always do whatever she could to give him what he needed.