Enjoy!

Song for this chapter:
"Let That Be Enough" by: Switchfoot

- JayBee

EPOV

Bella threw up…again. I was going to fucking murder Jacob. Strangle him. Strangle him and –

"Sorry, Edward…I…didn't mean it."

I looked down at her. "Bella, why are you apologizing? You're not doing this on purpose."

I couldn't believe I was carrying Bella like this.

Like a baby.

Almost lifeless, with no strength in her at all. She could barely keep her eyes open.

I stepped over the mess on the sidewalk and caught a taxi.

People actually had the nerve to stare as I put her in and got in after her.

Wow. We're in New York, idiots. I'm sure you've seen weirder things than a guy carrying a girl.

They might have been staring because Bella looked so lifeless, but come on, had they never seen someone tired? I know Bella would feel uncomfortable if she knew they were looking, so
I didn't mention anything about it to her. I didn't need her feeling any worse than she already was.

After I sat down and told the cab driver the address to my house, I saw Bella sitting next to me and resting the side of her face against the window. I reached over to pull her toward me
so she could rest her head on my lap.

When I pulled her a few inches away from the window, she pulled away from me and put her face back on the window.

"Bella…"

"The window's cold. It feels good. I won't close my eyes, I promise…"

I didn't want to make things more difficult for her, so I just let her be.

I was glad we didn't live too far. With the speed that the cab drivers here drove at, the drive only took about 10 minutes. After I paid the driver and turned to Bella, I realized she had fallen
asleep. I reached my arm out to wake her up, but decided against it and just pulled her away from the window and laid her on the seat. I grabbed Bella's bag, got out of the cab, and walked
over to the other side.

I opened the door and after thanking the driver, picked Bella up, holding her against my chest again. I backed away from the open door and pushed my body against it to close it.

I turned around and heard the cab drive away.

As I walked up my walkway, I checked to see if Mr. Swan was home. His car wasn't there, so I relaxed. I don't know what I'd do or say if he saw me carrying Bella and asked what had happened.

When I got to my door, I reached over as best I could, and rang the doorbell.

I was glad that instead of my parents, Alive answered the door.

She quickly looked down at Bella and back up at me. "Edward? What are you –"

I pushed past her and walked inside. "Not now, Alice. Where are mom and dad?" I looked around, but didn't see them.

She was staring at Bella. "They went to some convention or something. They're coming back on Sunday. What happened to Bella…?"

I was relieved that my parents weren't here. If they saw Bella, they'd call her dad. I started walking toward the stairs. "Nothing happened. If –"

She looked back up at me and gave me a weird look. "What happened to your eyes? Why are they pink?"

She needed to stop questioning me. I couldn't deal with all of this right now. I knew my eyes were pink, and I hoped Bella hadn't noticed. I didn't care about my eyes. Who cares? Alice, do you
not see Bella cradled in my arms? Obviously something happened to her, and obviously I don't want to answer any of your dumb questions right now.

"Alice, nothing happened! Listen, if Charlie calls, tell him Bella's sleeping."

She checked the watch on her wrist. "What? It's only 8:30. I doubt he'd believe –"

I was already at the top of the stairs and started walking toward my bedroom. "I don't fucking care! Just do it!" Holy crap, Alice. Sometimes, you're oblivious to everything around you, I swear.
Just do whatever you can and help me out.

When I got to my room, I put Bella down on my bed and went to turn the light on.

I went back to my bed and pushed Bella on her side, making her face the other bed. If she threw up again, I didn't want her to choke. I looked around, trying to find a bowl to put by the bed.
I couldn't find anything, but I knew there would be something in the kitchen.

I got a blanket out of my closet and threw it over Bella, then walked out of my room. As I passed by Emmett's room, I stopped and went back to knock on his door.

His voice sounded groggy. "Yeah?"

I opened the door and found him sitting in front of his computer, staring at the Yahoo News page on the screen. I found it hard to believe he was checking up on news, but I didn't want to know
what he was really doing before I knocked, so I didn't bother asking.

"Hey, Em. If Bella's dad calls, can you tell him she's sleeping?"

He kept staring at the screen. "Yupp."

"Thanks." I turned around and walked toward the stairs, going down quickly.

I walked through the living room and into the kitchen, checking the cabinets for bowls. I finally found one, and jogged back upstairs to my room.

Bella was still lying there, and I placed the bowl on the floor by her head. I hoped she didn't miss the bowl completely if she threw up. Okay, you know what? If I'm hoping for things, I hope
she doesn't throw up at all and gets better by tomorrow.

I went to turn the lights off, took my shirt and pants off, threw them on the floor, and got under the covers of the bed next to mine, turning on my side to look at Bella.

I hadn't wanted her to go to sleep because she was unconscious when I found her at Jacob's apartment and I was afraid that if she slept, she would go unconscious again, and I wouldn't be
able to tell. But I knew she felt tired, and I would feel guilty for keeping her up.

She looked so peaceful, and I felt so bad. I couldn't stand seeing her the way she was tonight. I wish I had known that she was going out with that dumbass. I would've…I don't know.
I don't know what I would have done. I wouldn't have stopped her from going. I didn't like him before, and I hated him with a passion now, but before this happened, I wouldn't have told her
not to hang out with him. I couldn't. I had no say in who she could and couldn't hang out with.

But now…now…now I would most definitely let her know that she wouldn't be hanging out with him anymore.

I wanted to ring his neck…bash his face in…beat the living shit out of him.

I hugged my pillow and continued watching her.

I couldn't hold them back anymore. I knew I was lying to myself. I turned my head and shoved my face into the pillow, punching the bed.

I turned my head back to the side and looked at her again.

Bella. Isabella. Isabella Marie Swan. Isabella Marie Culle–

…Just kidding.

…No. I'm not kidding. As I said before, I couldn't hold them back anymore. I'm not speaking about Bella and Jacob. I'm speaking about my feelings for my Bella.

I couldn't hide it anymore. I couldn't hide my love for her anymore.

I was in love with Bella, and it hurt so much.

When she asked me why I looked so sad in the elevator, I was so scared that she saw my feelings for her. I was sad, and I still am about what she just went through, but I was scared that
she might have seen past the sadness.

I've known that I was in love with her for about a year now, but I just realized it recently. A year ago, I felt like I might have loved her as more than a friend, but I kept suppressing my feelings
and just denying them. I kept trying to convince myself that the things I felt were a friendly love, the way someone loves a sister.

I can't suppress them anymore, though. They're getting stronger, and it's getting harder to ignore them.

I don't know what I'm going to do, but I don't want her to know. I know that much.

She might not take it well. Or she might start acting weird around me. I know she loves me, but not the way I love her. No, I'm not being dramatic. I'm serious. With the way she acts toward me…I know
she loves me, but I can tell she's not in love with me.

I'm fine with that, though. As much as I want to be more than a friend to her, I'm fine with just being her best friend. It kills me when she goes out with other guys, but as long as she's happy, I'm happy.
As cliché as that sounds, it's true.

I'm just afraid that she's going to get hurt really badly one day. Either emotionally, physically, or both. If any guy ever hurt her physically…

I would end up in jail. I'm not joking. I would literally beat the kid to death, or beat him enough to get him in a critical condition and in the hospital.

I…I didn't want to think about Bella getting hurt.

I turned on my back and rested my hands on my stomach, letting out a heavy sigh.

When I heard Bella move, I turned my head toward her and realized what was about to happen. She bent over the side of the bed, and just as I expected, she threw up. Her head came up to look
at me, and then she just fell back onto her side and went back to sleep.

It felt so good to be in bed, but I knew I had to get up.

After I reluctantly pushed myself up, I got off the bed and bent down to pick the bowl up, holding it as far away from my body as I could while I walked to the bathroom.

I turned on the bathroom light and squinted at the brightness as I walked over to the toilet and dumped the contents of the bowl into it. After I flushed the toilet and rinsed the bowl out in the
sink, I closed the lights and went back into my room, placing the bowl where it previously was.

I glanced at her, and realized she had gotten some on her shirt. I began to pull up the hem of her shirt and took it completely off, throwing her shirt on the floor. I went to my closet and got one
of my t-shirts, wondering what she would want to wear. She liked bright colors.

I knew it didn't really matter what she wore, but I didn't care. I looked through my shirts until I found a light green one, and I pulled it out, unfolding it as I walked over to my bed.

When I got back to her and began putting it on, I couldn't help but stare. The moon cast a light over her through my window, making her skin look pale. I felt so guilty for looking at her this way,
especially when she wasn't even aware that I was staring at her.

This was my little Bella.

She's your age, Edward.

Shut up, I know that.

I forced myself to stop looking and continued putting the shirt on. When I bent one of her arms to put it through the sleeve, her voice took me by surprise.

"What're you doinggggg?" She was mumbling and trying to pull away from me, so I looked at her face to see if she noticed that I was trying to help her.

Her eyes were still closed. She was just annoyed and half asleep, so she had no clue what was going on.

I stopped struggling to put the shirt on and tried keeping my voice down. "I'm just putting a new shirt on you, Bella." Did she know who was dressing her? Did she even know where she was?
I wanted to let her know, just in case, because she kept pushing me away. "Bells, It's me. Edward."

She mumbled something I didn't understand, but I was glad that she stopped trying to pull away. I put her arms through the sleeves and pulled the shirt all the way down.

It reached her thighs, and I realized she still had her jeans on. It couldn't be comfortable sleeping in those, but I wasn't going to take her pants off right now. Besides the fact that I knew
I'd stare at her inappropriately again, everything I had would be too big for her waist, and I didn't want to ask Alice for pants right now.

I stood straight up, and looked around for the blanket. It was by her feet; she probably kicked it off. I took it and draped it across her body again.

She had vomit around her mouth, and I cringed for a second before leaving to get a washcloth from the bathroom.

I ran it under warm water and brought it back to my room, wiping her mouth. I regretted the fact that I hadn't wiped her mouth the other times, but I was too pissed, and wiping her mouth was
the last thing on my mind back then.

While I was running the cloth over her mouth, she parted her lips and the cloth almost went in. I pulled back before it did.

Jesus Christ, that would've been disgusting. I had gotten everything off, so I stepped back, picked her shirt up off the floor, and went to throw it in the laundry basket with the washcloth.

I checked the time on my phone, and plopped down on my bed. It was 10:00.

I didn't want to sleep, in case something happened to her overnight. I don't know what could happen, but just in case something did, I couldn't be sleeping.

If she went unconscious, I wouldn't be able to tell, so that kind of scared me. Also, if she threw up again, I had to clean up.

I lay on my side and just watched her. My eyelids felt so heavy.

Okay. Just 15 minutes, and then I would wake up.

I closed my eyes and continued thinking about Bella.

My mind drifted to Ashley. I still couldn't believe I slept with her. I hated thinking about it, but I couldn't help it. It hurt Bella so much, and I hated myself for it. That day, I felt like I lost some of
Bella's trust, and I wouldn't blame her if I did. I didn't want to ask her about it. I knew she wouldn't admit it, just so that she wouldn't hurt my feelings. But look how easily I hurt her that day…

I hoped she knew that I wouldn't hesitate to do anything for her. My heart ached so much when I thought about being with her. I hated the feeling, but at the same time, I loved it. When I saw
some of the idiots she hung out with, I knew I could be so much better for her, but sometimes, I felt like even I wasn't good enough for her. I don't know who was.

I kept thinking these thoughts, and I felt myself drifting into sleep, but promised that I wouldn't let myself get too deep into it.

Next thing I knew, I opened my eyes and I was facing my closet. The sun was shining in my room.

Shit. I slept through the night.

I turned around to face my bed, and panicked when I didn't see Bella in it.

I opened my eyes wider and quickly pushed myself into a sitting position.

"Bella?!" My voice was deep with sleep, and I cleared my throat.

She turned toward me. "Yeah?"

She was sitting at my desk with a lollipop in her mouth, doing something on the computer.

She still had my shirt on. I looked down, and realized that…she had no pants on.

I didn't care if I stared and made it obvious.

Bella was sitting in my room with no pants on, eating a lollipop. With no pants on. Did she have on any –

No, no, no. My mind was not going there. This was Bella.

I kept staring, and she sat there waiting for me to answer her.

I didn't say anything. Just stared.

She shrugged and turned back around to the computer, and I just…kept staring.

Then, I felt an uneasiness in my stomach when I realized I had to tell Bella what had happened to her last night.

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