Chapter 3
December 24, 2013
Sherry brushed her teeth before finally going to bed despite dawn already making its presence for the new day. Drained nonetheless from the sleepless night, she was resolved to get some rest before devoting more time at Ashlyn's side.
It was infectious to be around Noelle. Sherry wasn't expecting to have such a strong attachment to the baby yet she already couldn't get enough of her. She was a living testament to everyone that life could continue regardless of their disturbing past. Ashlyn had successfully managed to alter what could have been an agonizing future for both her and her daughter. What Ashlyn had now with her small family was something that few people in their world possessed.
Sherry was more than thrilled for her. She was there from the very beginning and saw the fear that read in Ashlyn's eyes upon discovering Noelle. There was so much uncertainty throughout the journey but a lot had changed within the months as her baby continued to grow. Carson came into their lives and became involved. Ashlyn could have done what she needed to do on her own but Sherry was grateful that she had Carson and her friends to rely on when she needed them.
Taken out of her thoughts, she saw Dwight in the room as he knelt while trying to lay a thin blanket on the floor. Sherry instantly knew what his chaste intent was and quickly finished washing up then walked into the room towards him. "Dwight, what are you doing?" She inquired with a tinge of sorrow to her voice. Even though it wasn't her fault for halting part of their private relationship, the ever-constant guilt still sank in.
He glanced up to her and shrugged indifference. "It's no big deal, Sher," he responded and waved her off. "I don't want you to feel uncomfortable."
"It really isn't necessary, Dwight," Sherry kindly assured while remembering their first nights of the apocalypse being on the road. The many sleepless nights while tossing and turning on the forest floor or a small car came to mind as she shook her head in protest. "This is a wooden floor! You'll never get any sleep like that." With the curtains already pulled to provide some dimness to the room, she stepped towards the bed and patted the mattress beside her. "Come on, Dwight. We will both fall asleep once our heads hit the pillow. No need to make a big deal out of it."
Dwight was still kneeling on the floor but gave Sherry a look as if wondering whether or not he should take up her offer.
"Going once…" Sherry urged jokingly.
He groaned with a small laugh as he subsequently got up from his spot and walked to the other side of the large bed. "The second that you feel uneasy, you can kick me off," Dwight advocated on her behalf. "I'm serious."
"I know you are," Sherry answered as she got under the covers while suddenly being aware of the chill coming into the mansion from the icy outside air. "It does make me feel better knowing that."
"Good," Dwight replied sounding pleased while he got under the covers as well. They both stared up at the ceiling as Dwight let the events of the night subside into a calm groove so he could relax into a well-deserved slumber.
"Did you hear the news?" Sherry asked in the silence. Her voice sounded sleepy already and he knew that she wasn't going to last long with small talk.
"What news?"
"We're godparents now," Sherry commented quietly.
Dwight was surprised at how easily he himself was dozing off as it usually took him longer to do so. It had been a long time since he felt as calm as he did. In Sanctuary, he always felt like he had a target on his back. Not all the Saviors appreciated the efforts that he put forth to better establish a structured community such as the others. Sleep was difficult to come by when there was always someone trying to kill him for going against Negan. It was an act that some thought difficult to forgive. As for when he slept in Alexandria while on visits, he thought Daryl's couch was the least comfy thing in the world.
Sherry's voice brought him back in while he thought about what she said. "I'm guessing Ashlyn told you?" Dwight asked as she nodded. He took a deep breath of satisfaction then glanced over to see Sherry smiling in the same sense. "You'll be a great godmom."
A tear escaped her eye as it fell onto her pillow from the simple compliment that he gave her combined with the lack of sleep which seemed to amplify her emotions. "Likewise," she responded in a raspy voice but her eyes started to close slowly as she said it.
He smiled at her effort to stay awake for their small but sweet conversation. "Good night, Sher," he whispered.
It was quiet for a moment as Dwight turned to see if she had already fallen asleep. Her eyes were closed as she rolled over to sleep on her side. She mumbled an answer that was just above a whisper but he was able to decipher an 'I love you' and a 'goodnight.'
He smiled and rolled over to his stomach while making sure to stay on his side of the bed so that Sherry could have her own safe space. It didn't take long for him to slowly fall away while letting the exhaustion take over. They didn't have a lot of good events occur in their new world. It almost seemed as if the good moments were almost more mentally draining than the bad moments. They all became used to the new primitive and uncouth norm. Happiness was hardly ever welcome with open arms. Dwight felt as if Negan trained their thought process to expect danger from around the corner. However, it wasn't danger that Dwight anticipated; it was repercussions.
…
Dwight awoke with a start and instinctively grasped for Sherry only to find that she wasn't on the mattress beside him. Sweat cascaded down Dwight's face as he tried to breathe through it. He searched all around him to see that the room had become darker than it was when his eyes first had closed. He had nearly slept through the entire day. It was probably the most amount of sleep that he had had in a very long time. He didn't even hear Sherry leave the room.
Dread overcame him like clockwork when nighttime usually rolled around. That was when the terrifying dreams haunted him. His own subconscious attacked him at his most vulnerable and showed him all the horrors that he took part in as Negan's right hand man.
You killed hundreds of people to save one person's life, a voice said in his thought process. Was it worth it? You get to be with her while Sasha spends her night's alone because of you. Drew's mother moved to the Kingdom so she didn't have to run into your visits to Hilltop anymore. She's alone. Because of you.
It was easier justifying his actions in the heat of the moment. For the last several years, Dwight became an obedient soldier under Negan's leadership. His only purpose in life was to protect the ones that he cared about - mainly Sherry. Now that that part of his life was finished, his guilty conscience arose from dormancy and unleashed on Dwight like a rabid wolf.
He did what he had to do so Sherry wouldn't be punished. When it was revealed that she was penalized regardless of how much Dwight tried to please Negan, he became staggeringly livid. So many people had died because of his forced loyalty. Because of a lie that Negan built to insure that conformity. It was a slap on the face. One that pained him even more than the iron burn that he endured from his temple to jaw line.
Disgusted with himself as much as Negan, he sat up and tried to be mindful of where he was mentally and physically. Recovery from Negan wasn't an easy process but it was one that he tried to bear alone. Never had he once tried to burden Sherry with his inner thoughts of anxiety after years of psychological torture and submissiveness. He was sure that Sherry did the same on her end. Even though he never once felt afflicted with her own issues that Negan put her through, he hated the idea that she would carry some of his mental weight had he opened up to her about his past. It wasn't what he wanted for her.
The strain that he felt was lonely. Not only that but he didn't dedicate time to sort through his past like he should have done time and time again. With running a failing community and dealing with men who were still loyal to Negan, Dwight could openly admit that he wasn't handling things in a healthy manner. For years, he thought himself as being no better than Negan. While Negan was currently in prison for his crimes, Dwight couldn't but wonder if he also deserved the same depraved fate.
Yet, he was in Hilltop celebrating a forgotten holiday among friends and a goddaughter. He was living the lap of luxury while others continued to suffer for his past wrongdoings. Sasha made peace with him long ago but he was still reminded of the red-headed man who he shot without even batting an eye at the time. At times, he even went out of his way to avoid her because of it. He would have avoided anyone who reminded him of his last three and a half years but it was those same people that gave him the solace that he selfishly craved. As unworthy as he felt, he still needed to feel some sort of appraisal for his own self-indulgent content.
Don't pretend that your wrong behavior is behind you, the cynical voice echoed in his mind. The last person you killed wasn't seven and a half months ago.
…
Dwight didn't yet feel up to trivial exchanges with other people but also didn't want to be alone. He walked through the upstairs hallway while hearing some activity on the main floor and could hear a small crowd enjoying each other's company. The smell of delightful aromas consisted of food and only food. Remembering that it was the first Christmas Eve that he would celebrate without his brother present, he started making his way down the stairs to take part in the festivities - even if he didn't necessarily feel up to it. He was very much a different person than he was four years ago. The holiday was merely reminding him of the stark difference.
"What the fuck are you going to do, Amber?" He heard someone hastily ask. Just before he took a step down the first stair, he heard Mark's voice ring throughout the second floor. "You gonna leave me?"
"Mark, you need to stop! You're overreacting!" Amber responded back while clearly stressed. Dwight waited for a follow up response as instinct told him to make sure that everyone was okay following a stressful situation; even if the matter was a private one. Their bedroom was close to the stairway and he could hear them from behind the partially closed door. "If you keep acting like this though, I might consider leaving. I can't handle the up's and down's with you."
"Amber, I gave up a shit ton of things for you. I sacrificed and I fought for you! If I sound like I'm overreacting, maybe it's because I have a right to…" Mark said with agitation but then became quiet. The next phrase Dwight could hear the insecurity in his comrade's voice. "Is it because of my face?"
"What?" Amber asked while taken aback at his statement. "Mark, I wouldn't…"
"Then what the hell is it?!" Mark practically shouted.
"I don't know!" Amber yelled back.
Dwight decided to bow out of his post so they could have some secrecy. Their conversation was still unsettling to him and he hoped that he and Sherry would never fight like that. He didn't know exactly what their spat was about but he still didn't want that kind of rift between himself and the person that mattered the most in his life.
He quickly stepped into the front room that was filling in with more guests from Hilltop. He even saw various people from other communities as they conversed with people around them. Sanctuary's members were noticeably absent.
After hearing Mark and Amber's fight and his terrible nightmare before that, he didn't want to take part in any kind of social event and quickly slipped out of the mansion and towards the barn. Outside was quiet while more community members walked towards the mansion with button-up shirts as some women even wore stylish dresses for the occasion.
Things were changing among the people that he interacted with. He noticed that the people who were quick to embrace the parties, the traditions, and the finer way of living were better off or at least pretended to be. The ones who had a more difficult time grasping at being domesticated once more fought against it tooth and nail - like the ones who were exiled from Sanctuary. Dwight hoped that one day he would feel comfortable in events such as the one that was going to happen in Hilltop that night. The other option was living in a forest alone.
He walked into the barn and clicked his tongue as his horse instantly recognized the sound belonged to its master. The animal glanced towards Dwight while Dwight stepped closer and grabbed some hay to give his friend. The horse took it graciously while Dwight reached for a brush for his unnamed horse's hair. Sherry said that he should one day take the time to pick an actual name for his loyal companion. A gift from Earl when the blacksmith saw the horse bond with Dwight more than anyone else after being brought in from the wild, the horse always traveled with Dwight on supply runs and never strayed far from his sight. Dwight didn't know what he did differently to deserve the horse's trust and respect. Yet he was glad all the same.
"Penny for your thoughts?" A chipper voice appeared out of nowhere.
"Shit!" Dwight exclaimed as he peered around the barn to see Kevin milking a cow in the far corner. He wasn't expecting anyone to be doing farm work so late in the day. "Jesus…" he muttered while trying to get ahold of himself.
"Didn't think you the type of person to be so easily spooked," Kevin perceived as he went about his business while keeping on eye on Dwight.
"Usually not so much," Dwight mumbled and wasn't sure if Kevin had heard him.
He appreciated Kevin for everything that he had offered the people in his vicinity. For young Jenna, he became a father and filled the void of a father long gone as well as Jason who passed away in the meadow attack. For Yolanda, he became a loving husband after a short ceremony that Father Gabriel gave them following the descent of the Saviors. For Sherry, he gave her some peace of mind that she wouldn't have had without his help.
Despite Kevin's willingness to help countless others around him, Dwight was leery of the man. Not that he suspected Kevin to have any ulterior motive than to selflessly serve, rather it was his insightfulness that put Dwight on edge. Kevin was under his own code of confidentiality when it came to people who spoke to him about their past demons. That only unnerved Dwight more as Kevin knew more about him than he wanted him to.
"How have you been, Dwight?" Kevin asked after a long period of quiet apart from the chickens clucking or the occasional whinny of the horses. "It's been awhile since I spoke with either you or Sherry."
Dwight was a little surprised upon hearing that Sherry hadn't spoken to him. He was unsure of the timeline, but he thought Sherry would remain in contact with Kevin especially since the war had ended and things were falling back into a normal rhythm. "We have been keeping busy," Dwight answered in a purposefully cryptic way knowing that there was probably a reason that Sherry decided to create some distance. Although he knew that he wouldn't necessarily ask unless she brought it up herself.
"I could see that," Kevin said cheerfully. "You two seem in high spirits."
"We try to be at least," Dwight replied as he continued tending to his horse that he had grown a small attachment to.
"Why do you say it like that?" Kevin inquired as Dwight made a face. The man always had a knack for reading into all the details even if they were left unsaid.
Dwight scoffed as he took a deep breath then shook his head. "No," he said simply and turned to face Kevin with a friendly smile. "I didn't need to talk to you before and I don't need to talk to you now."
"My door is always open when the time comes, Dwight," Kevin maintained but looked to Dwight in all seriousness. "I really didn't mean to intrude. My apologies if it came across that way."
"It's fine, don't be sorry," Dwight responded and returned to brushing his horse. "You aren't upset that Sherry hasn't been doing sessions or anything, are you?"
"Oh, not at all," Kevin corrected. "When someone stops visiting their therapist it means one of two things. The first, she is trying to gain some independence and is moving on. If that's the case, then I am proud of her."
He was silent for a moment while pondering if he should continue with his next thought. Dwight turned to look at him and saw Kevin stare off into the distance while pondering something.
"What's the other reason?" Dwight questioned while letting curiosity get the better of him.
"The second is that she wants to ignore talking about it all," Kevin answered quietly. "That's understandable and many would agree that it's easier to deal with stress by simply burying it."
"What do you say?" Dwight then pressed while wondering why he was being so inquisitive with Kevin's thoughts.
"My opinions on the subject are of no consequence," Kevin explained. "However, I believe that suppressing trauma like the one she went through is never a permanent fix. The past always has a way of making an appearance at the worst of times."
The conversation that he and Sherry had the night before confirmed Kevin's studied theory. It was nearly heartbreaking to know that she was still going through what she was and Dwight could only watch from the sidelines as she tried time and time again to pick herself back up.
"Like any of us, Dwight," Kevin said while taking him away from his thoughts. "We have all endured the worst things. But we are human. We can't expect to go about our lives pretending that the hurt never existed. It was made us become who we are. We need to arm ourselves with the right protection, to deal with our personal demons in order to better function."
"So therapy is going to help with that?" Dwight asked in a semi-sardonic tone but believed Kevin more than he would let on.
"As cliché as it sounds, yes," Kevin remarked with his grin returning. "But you already knew that, didn't you?"
"Yeah," Dwight responded only half-convinced. Truthfully, he couldn't allow himself to talk about his past. Talking about it, let alone thinking about it, wasn't on his list of to-do's.
Then it occurred to Dwight that Kevin wasn't just directing his concern for Sherry but for him as well. All that he said about trauma having a knack for showing up wasn't just happening to Sherry; it was all returning to Dwight. Dwight didn't tell anyone about the nightmares that kept him awake at night. Had Kevin known that it was going to happen eventually?
Unwilling to have Kevin think him weak in any way, he patted his horse one more time and put the brush away. "We're doing fine," Dwight feigned and smirked. "You going to the party?"
"I am, indeed," Kevin answered while Dwight walked towards the barn door. "Have a wonderful Christmas Eve, Dwight."
"You too, Kevin," Dwight said with as animated of a voice that he could muster and stepped out of the barn. His fake smile instantly vanished as he started walking up to the mansion once more. He didn't need anyone's help to be rid of his past. He could do it on his own.
…
"Not going down to the party?" Sherry asked while in Ashlyn's room. She walked around the space and rocked the sleeping Noelle in her arms as Ashlyn sat on the hospital bed.
"I gave birth less than twenty-four hours ago," Ashlyn said with a smile. "Suffice it to say, I don't really feel like walking around and conversing with everyone. The select few that want to come say hello can come up here."
"Not that I have an excuse but I kind of feel the same way," Sherry responded and laid Noelle in her bassinet beside Ashlyn's bed. She then took a seat on the couch where Carson had been sleeping and sighed. "But I guess if we are going to be civilized again, we should go to parties or at least talk to people."
Ashlyn was thoughtful for a moment but then glanced at Sherry warily. "Do parties ever remind you of Billiard Night? Everyone having a great time, shouts from across the room, alcohol… The setting and the people are different but it still makes me feel…" She paused while trying to think of the proper word.
"Uneasy?" Sherry finished for her. "It's not just you."
"Glad it isn't," Ashlyn muttered but sighed as she looked to Sherry again. "The transition hasn't just been hard for me, has it?"
Sherry leaned back against the couch and folded her arms. "I can imagine it was more difficult for you than it was for any of us," she mentioned humbly thinking it odd to compare her trials with Ashlyn's. They came from the same trauma but what Ashlyn went through was something that Sherry couldn't even fathom.
"Come on, Sherry," Ashlyn then said while rolling her eyes slightly. "Negan shot you in the side and you had to do some physical therapy for months. I know what you have gone through. It wasn't just a little problem."
Feeling uncomfortable with the subject matter, Sherry just stared down at her feet. "Yeah, but you have…" Sherry stopped then looked to Noelle who was still in a deep slumber.
"I have moved on for the most part," Ashlyn defended kindly to finish Sherry's thought even if that wasn't the direction that she was going to go. "There are a few things that still get to me but I can look at Noelle and simply see a great future ahead of me. Ahead of all of us; Carson included." She stopped and gazed at her daughter then continued with what was on her mind. "Megan and I talk about what happened to us all the time. I start talking about this stuff to you and you just concave and suddenly have to leave."
Sherry bit her lip at the unsuspecting grilling that she was receiving from Ashlyn. "I'm fine," Sherry responded quietly but couldn't stare directly at her friend.
"You always need to stay strong for the rest of us," Ashlyn muttered in consternation. "Sher, you may think that what you have gone through isn't as bad as what I went through. As if you don't have a right to complain. My life could have been terrible raising his child all by myself. And even though I changed my perspective to love Noelle, I will never thank him for the abuse I received to get her. Nor will I thank him for giving her to me. He had no part in my love for her.
"You don't have to pretend that you aren't hurting," Ashlyn continued. "If you ever need to talk to anyone, you can talk to us. We have all had plenty of time to sort through things. We want to include you into the healing process. You need it just as much as we do."
Sherry was silent but refused to show that she was doing anything less than fine. Talking about it only made the memories flood back. From when she first saw him ambush their camp three and a half years ago to when she stabbed him in the gut in the same moment that he was telling her how happy he was to know that she would stay with him - and all the times in between.
"Just something for you to think about," Ashlyn finished. "We're always here for you."
…
The mansion started bustling with activity as Christy was preparing food for all the guests. Along with Carson, Yolanda, and Kevin, they each had their hands full in preparing for the upcoming party. Christy was putting the silverware all in a basket to place in the front room where a table was going to work as a buffet line for everyone. She counted all the knives and forks especially to see if they had enough when someone stood behind her at a distance.
Christy knew who it was when he didn't say anything at first. Rick contemplated his thoughts before engaging her in conversation and she knew that it was him before she turned to see that she was correct.
When they made eye contact, she gave a polite smile and went back to her work while also straightening her apron that she wore over a tulle black knee-length skirt that she found among the Alexandrian storage closet. She wore a cream colored blouse where the sleeves were rolled up to her elbows. Christy was proud that she even bothered to fix her hair up in what used to be a stylish bun and even put on makeup for the event. It seemed out of place but it wasn't too often that they had moments to look nice.
"Judith knows how to spell her name now," Rick finally said as he stepped closer then leaned against the counter where Christy was doing her work.
Christy glanced up and paused while giving Rick her full attention. "Yeah? I taught her a rhyme the other day when I was watching her," she explained. "I didn't know if it would stick with her being so young."
"Oh yeah," Rick replied with an enthusiastic grin. "She walks around the house and that's all she says. 'J-U-D-I-T-H. Nothin' rhymes with H, but it's my name all the same.'"
Christy giggled and was glad to hear that he was pleased whenever she watched his daughter during the day. She had her hands full with learning to be a nurse and watching Judith but it occupied her time rather than filled her with depression that came when she didn't do anything. "Well, you find something that rhymes with the letter H and then we'll talk," she teased as she started working on the silverware again.
"Barbara, what did you do before all this?" Rick asked as Christy heard the hesitation in his voice. He was not a man prone to small talk nor was he good at it. But she appreciated the effort he put forth regardless.
"I was a kindergarten teacher," Christy answered while thinking of the fond memories of her young students. She hoped that they were all okay or that they at least didn't suffer in the new world. "You were a cop, right?"
"Yes, ma'am, I was," Rick responded as he pondered his next thought again. Christy waited while continuing staying busy knowing that was how Rick spoke. His questions were almost a small interrogation even though she was sure that he didn't intend for it to sound that way. He just wanted to get to know her more. "We have schools in each community set up," he started with a shrug but knew she was already aware. "Why did you choose to become a nurse instead of teaching kids again?"
She knew he was only asking out of curiosity and smiled up to him. "I got a taste of helping people during the grenade attack," she replied simply. "That feeling left an impression on me and I knew the need for nurses had to be met. If I had all the time in the world, I would be a nurse, babysitter, and a teacher but I just don't have the time to do it all."
"Well, you are doing a great job at everything you do," Rick complimented as Christy glanced up from her work to see his face redden slightly. "I just wanted to let you know that I felt that way."
"Thank you, Rick," Christy said with gratitude. "And you as well. Both of your kids are great and I think that you're doing a fine job with the communities."
He nodded a thank you and stepped away from the counter as if their conversation was over. Christy didn't think anything of it and went back to counting the silverware like before.
"Hey," she heard Rick say behind her as she turned around to see him closer to her than he was before. It took her by surprise but she was comfortable with it. "After the party, would you like to take a walk with me around Hilltop?"
"I would love to," Christy said quickly before her mind even processed his request. Her heart was already invested in the idea of Rick and she wanted to see if he was worth pursuing.
"Great," Rick expressed as he returned a wide grin. "I guess that I'll see you later, Barbara."
"Okay!" She said not even trying to contain the excitement she felt.
After getting to know Rick, she could tell that he was a good catch. Her late husband, Bradley, would have wanted her to move on. Negan wasn't even a stepping stone in the right direction and she wanted something that had more trust and faith like a real relationship should have been like. Had she had more time with Bradley, they would have kept that until the day they died. Despite the pain that Negan caused, she still believed in real love; something that was good. Whether Rick was right for her or not, she still wanted to check and see.
…
Sherry brushed through her hair in the room that she shared with Dwight. She put on a form-fitting dark red button-up sweater and upon seeing what everyone else was wearing, borrowed a black skirt from Megan. The skirt was right and showed off her figure as it came several inches above her knee. To add a festive look, Megan also loaned her a pair of dark green tights to get into the Christmas spirit. Sherry liked the look and it made her feel covered enough to not merit unwanted attention.
Dwight was sitting on the edge of the couch and borrowed some nice clothes from both Harlan and Carson. The button up shirt which was tucked in, complemented his long torso as did his tie that he was working on with precision. Sherry was putting on mascara and leaned over the sink but grinned while thinking of what they were getting ready for. She couldn't remember the last time that she went to a formal gathering. Even Kevin and Yolanda's wedding was low-key with no dressing up required. They spent most of their days killing walkers to survive but that night, they were dolling themselves up for a party.
"What are you smiling about?" Dwight asked while curious about her upbeat attitude.
"Just this stuff," Sherry said while gesturing to the clothes that she had on and then to his tie. She let out a small laugh. "Never thought that I would wear something like this again."
Dwight tilted his head to glance at her in passing but stopped upon actually seeing her. A smile crept on his face as Sherry leaned against the doorway then put her hand on her side to strike a mild pose. "Too much?" She joked still thinking that the whole party was a silly idea.
He didn't say anything at first and just admired her for a moment longer. "I think you look perfect," Dwight uttered while he finished fixing his tie but saw the other side was longer than the side that mattered. Groaning in frustration about having to wear a tie at all, he loosened it up to start over again.
Sherry walked over to where he sat and reached for his tie. "When I was younger, I asked my dad if I could fix his tie for him," she explained and started tying it for him. "I did it every Sunday before church."
Dwight placed his hand on Sherry's waist without thinking but then wondered if she would dislike his small source of affection. She pursed her lips together and smiled at him with a nod to indicate that she was fine with it. He drew a sigh of relief and then placed his other hand on her opposite side just below her hip bone. She continued with his tie while he subtly admired her body that was in close proximity to him.
"It's been awhile since I did any of this kind of shit," Dwight remarked. "I could probably count with my fingers the number of times that I had to wear a tie."
"Weren't much of a church goer growing up, eh?" Sherry inquired.
"Not really," Dwight answered with a smirk. "My mom would have liked you though. She went all the time. She just didn't force us to go with her."
Sherry beamed at his compliment. "You think your mom would have liked me?" She asked tenderly. "That makes me happy to know actually." She looked him in the eyes. "My dad would have liked you a lot, I think."
"He would have approved?" Dwight inquired but made a face then shrugged as if he wasn't sure if he agreed with her. She tightened his tie around his neck while he glimpsed down to see that it aligned better than when he attempted and stared up to Sherry with fondness. "Thank ye kindly, ma'am."
His ever-so-slight Georgian accent rang through more clearly as she grinned from ear to ear. He stood up and wrapped his arms around her as she put her hands on his chest. "I don't want to go down there," she confessed quietly.
"Well, we could always stay up here," Dwight offered with a wink. She snorted at his suggestion and then pulled him by the hand towards the door.
"Let's just stick to the people that we know and go from there," Sherry prepared more for herself.
"We should probably have an escape route just in case," Dwight mentioned only half kidding. Large amounts of people always made him on edge and he didn't really plan on making small talk for a long period of time.
"Good idea," Sherry praised and put a hand on the doorknob before taking a deep breath.
"If you ever need to get away from anyone, just let me know and we'll just go somewhere quiet," Dwight assured. Sherry looked to him wondering if he was joking on some innuendo again but stared at her in all seriousness. "I mean it, Sher. I got your back."
"Thanks," she replied softly and squeezed his hand. He held it tightly as she opened the door.
…
"Hey! It's the new dad!" Earl shouted as he stepped towards Carson with open arms and brought him into a tight bear hug. Dwight and Mark simply looked on as it wasn't the first time that their fellow comrade had been congratulated that night. "Where is that baby of yours?"
"She's upstairs with Ashlyn," Carson clarified as a smile came across his face at the thought.
"You feeling any extra pressure to respawn with the way people act towards new babies around here?" Mark muttered so only Dwight could hear as Dwight smirked from the comment. He glanced over to Sherry who was talking to Carol and Michonne nearby the kitchen door. She kept on getting stopped by people who wanted to talk with her or distracted by others that she wanted to make time to talk to herself. In any case, Dwight was glad that she was having a good time.
Earl and Carson continued to talk to each other about fatherhood and the importance of the responsibilities while Dwight took a drink of the beer in his hand. Mark started looking around the room as Dwight could see his mood change significantly.
"You see Amber around?" Mark questioned.
Dwight shook his head and immediately felt like he was being put on the spot for overhearing their disagreement earlier that night. "Nope, I haven't," he muttered and looked around the room for good measure while staring over everyone's heads to check but he saw no sign of her. "Maybe she's in the kitchen?"
"Yeah, probably," Mark agreed but didn't make a move to find out if that was the case. He just took a swig of alcohol and leaned against the wall beside Dwight. "Your redneck friend isn't anywhere to be found either."
Dwight nearly spewed his drink out of his nose with what Mark was eluding with his statement. "I really don't know what you are trying to imply, Mark but I think you're reading too much into something and trying to place blame on someone who doesn't deserve it," Dwight said as a matter-of-factly knowing that he had no problem being straight with him while at the same time trying to let him know that he crossed a line. "Daryl just doesn't like these kind of things, he's not screwing Amber, and you aren't going to accuse him of that again."
"That's not what I was trying to say," Mark defended weakly but Dwight knew better.
"Yeah," Dwight said as he picked up another beer and opened it. Mark then raised his eyebrows towards Dwight as it already was his fourth can. He shrugged Mark's silent judgment away. "It's a party after all," he mumbled then brought the drink to his lips.
…
"Oh, no," Christy muttered to herself while she searched through the kitchen cabinets. "We're out of canned cherries."
Megan gave her a quizzical look as she stared around the cabinets to help Christy out. "I could have sworn that we had some more in the fruit cellar," she said and then started walking in that direction. "I'll go check."
"Check for powdered sugar as well, please?" Christy asked. "We're running low on that as well."
"Alright," Megan responded as she opened the door to the basement and walked down the narrow steps. When she reached the bottom stair, she flipped on the light switch to see Amber and Heath standing beside each while both looking flustered. Megan stopped dead in her tracks as they all stared at each other with awkwardness looming over.
"Uh...I was coming down here to get a couple of things," Megan said shyly as she slowly made her way towards the shelves.
"You weren't interrupting anything," Amber said with a smile. As Megan got closer, she could see Amber's smeared makeup. "Heath was just telling me about some stuff."
"Yeah, I probably should be getting back up there," Heath said as he turned to look at Amber with a fond smile but then quickly limped upstairs with his prosthetic leg. Megan and Amber were alone as Amber leaned from one foot to the other with a guilt ridden face. Megan didn't feel the need to reprimand and she didn't know all the details. Not being the kind of person to pry into other's personal lives, she grabbed the food that Christy needed and left without saying another word. She wasn't stupid; she knew that Amber was cheating on Mark.
When she made it back up the stairs, the sound of people enjoying themselves filled her ears as she walked towards Christy who was holding a freshly baked cake with oven mitts. "Here are your cherries," Megan said while her voice still read some shock and placed them on the counter beside the stove along with the powdered sugar.
...
When Dwight scanned the room, he accidentally made eye contact with Gregory and rolled his eyes. The people-pleasing man limped over to Dwight with a smile beaming on his face. "Dwight, my boy!" The man exclaimed while Dwight had to fight the urge to roll his eyes. "It's been awhile since I ran into you! Jesus, when was the last time I saw you?"
"You were falling from a building," Dwight responded with brutal honesty as he recollected when Negan literally threw Gregory off the ledge of the mill in front of the community members. The mousy man miraculously lived with the help of Doctor Edwards especially and underwent physical therapy.
Gregory still had a smile plastered on his face even though Dwight wanted his response to be taken as an insult and a reminder that he turned his back against the communities. "Yes, yes, well at least I can walk on my own two feet now," he said and nudged Dwight on the shoulder. "But hey, we're on good terms now though, aren't we?"
Dwight shrugged an answer as Gregory took that as a form of no ill-will. He patted Dwight on the shoulder but then turned to glance over at Sasha and Maggie who were talking by the fireplace while his gaze lingered for an uncomfortable amount of time. As if he didn't have a wandering eye, he glanced back at Dwight with his same dumb grin as before. "Things are getting into a groove now," he continued. "People are settling down...letting their hair down… You boys thinking about settling down with some of the women here?"
"We kind of already have," Mark corrected with gritted teeth.
"Oh," Gregory sighed and put his hands in his pockets. "Good on you boys. Do your women happen to have some friends that are single?"
It was the kind of conversation that Dwight didn't want to take part of in. He could enjoy hearing Earl explain the meaning of life, Mark complain about his girlfriend being absent from the party, but he couldn't stand pretending to be friends with someone like Gregory. The man himself brought up moments in his life that he didn't care to remember. He was already close to killing the man several times; Negan didn't even have to ask him to feel that way. Gregory managed to make Dwight's list of people he didn't care about. Few were still alive.
…
"You having a fun time tonight?" Sherry called out as Megan passed her in the room.
Megan quickly turned on her heel with two wine glasses in hand and gave one to Sherry. "Don't ask," she muttered and took a giant gulp of her beverage.
Sherry saw Megan's face as worry instantly came over her. "Are you okay?" She inquired.
Megan shrugged a response and shook her head. "I don't know," she replied and looked up to Sherry with confusion written on her features. "I don't know if I'm supposed to say anything or tell anyone."
"What?" Sherry questioned even more alarmed with what her friend was saying. "What are you talking about?"
Still shaking her head, she looked up at the ceiling then back to Sherry. "I just don't know what to say right now," she uttered as Sherry could barely hear it over the noise in the mansion. She hoped that whatever happened wasn't something that would affect Megan forever. Out of all her friends, she was the most sensitive when it came to the things around her. A quiet but tender soul, she was the person who was least equipped to handle stressful situations. Like a mother hen, Sherry wanted to know what was bothering her but she didn't want to press if it pushed Megan over the edge. Instead, she gave her a side hug as Megan put her head on Sherry's shoulder. If something was bothering her friend, she was determined to find out.
...
After several moments, Dwight saw Megan and Sherry make their way towards him but the second that Megan saw Mark in their group, she whispered in Sherry's ear and walked towards Maggie and Sasha instead. Before Sherry could follow her, Gregory waved Sherry down as she felt reluctant to greet him.
"My physical therapy partner!" Gregory exclaimed as Sherry walked towards them. As she took her place beside Dwight, Gregory went out of his way to give her an unsolicited embrace. Dwight could instantly see the quick look of terror that Sherry had and how it settled when Gregory didn't initially let go of her. "Sherry, you are quite a sight today."
Dwight felt the need to intervene on Sherry's behalf as he grabbed Gregory's shoulder and practically shoved him off of his girlfriend. He knew Sherry didn't like to make a scene or draw attention to herself so he did it subtly.
Gregory immediately put his hands up in defense. "Easy now, Dwight," he said in a friendly voice while his eyes stayed on Sherry. "Just admiring a beautiful woman."
Sherry just stood there frozen as the look of terror still remained. To get her away from the situation - as her life partner and confidante - he needed to handle it for her. She would have done the same for him if he ever felt uncomfortable.
"Sher, I think Christy was asking for you several minutes ago," Dwight lied but touched her arm in a protective stance. Gregory started backing away towards the fireplace and then made conversation with Megan as Dwight and Sherry stared at each other in understanding. With gratitude she reached for his arm to quickly hold as a silent thanks and immediately left the room.
"I could show you some of the finest books in this mansion if you would like," Gregory started telling Megan as she awkwardly didn't know what to say. However, Sherry was gone so Dwight felt more freedom to treat Gregory the way he wanted to and practically grabbed the older man by the collar as they both stepped to the side.
"Think you are overstepping your boundaries just a bit, Gregory?" Dwight challenged in a dangerous tone.
"The last I checked, talking to women wasn't a crime," Gregory defended. "I can understand why you are worried about Sherry but the other women aren't really your concern."
"They are if they tell me what a creep you are being," Dwight responded as Gregory's smug look vanished. "You may be a couple of levels under Negan when it comes to the creep factor but that's still not saying much. And the girls that you are trying to impress have been through too much to deal with your shit. My suggestion would be to back the fuck off."
At first, Gregory didn't look like he knew what to say but then started smiling as if him and Dwight had been friends for years. "Son, you are worrying too much on such a special day," he said while appearing unfazed by their previous conversation and started speaking louder to draw attention from the crowd. Gregory was trying to play the good guy and at the same time make Dwight seem like the bad egg. "Drink some whiskey. Have some Christmas pork! We have too many days where we're at each other's throats. Don't you think?"
Enough people were staring at the two of them as Dwight walked away while fed up with the conversation. He could hear Gregory walk to another group and start schmoozing them instead. He left in a huff and retrieved a cigarette from his pocket.
…
Dwight sat on top of a perch that overlooked beyond Hilltop's borders and stared off into the darkness with assault rifle in hand. He still had his formal attire on but didn't necessarily care to keep them presentable anymore. Knowing that Sherry would be okay while in the company of other women who detested Gregory, he rolled his sleeves and drank more alcohol while feeling buzzed from the amount he already had.
Snow started to fall but he didn't yet feel cold. Instead he felt more comfortable on watch than he did at the party.
He heard snow crunch behind him as he stared down from the perch to see Daryl climbing up the ladder.
"Go to the party?" Dwight asked while Daryl took his place on guard with his crossbow.
"Yeah, for 'bout five minutes," Daryl admitted and stared off into the darkness.
"Five minutes more than I thought you'd be there," Dwight mumbled but then saw Daryl got a bottle of whiskey underneath his jacket. "Oh, that explains it."
They sat against the Hilltop's wall as they each took turns taking sips from the bottle. "You see Amber anywhere?" Dwight thought to ask but already knew the answer.
Daryl scrunched up his face in confusion as he took another drink. "Who the hell is Amber?" He questioned.
"Nevermind," Dwight replied with some humor.
AUTHOR'S NOTES, TRIVIA, & FACTS -
#1 - For those who remember what Deanna said to Ashlyn in Chapter 9 of Cruel World, she said, "It's not the present that should prepare you for the future; or the past. It's the potential." At the time that it was said, it was one of Deanna's last words of wisdom to a young woman that she hardly knew but in a moment of such trauma (that conversation took place during the grenade attack), her message reverberated through Ashlyn to really write her own happy ending despite the world that they live in. I chose Ashlyn to be the one to help pick Sherry back up because there is a lot of guilt that Sherry has to how Ashlyn's life turned out; even if her life is pretty good. It's the mutual respect that they have for each other and loyalty that will carry through for Sherry's healing in the long run.
#2 - This is a book that is kind of a turning point for our characters. As they settle down into a groove, they become people that will shape their decisions in the future. Pay attention. Who do you think will be ready to survive when the next storm hits the communities?