I know it's taken me forever to update, and I'm so sorry!
But here is the next chapter at last. (:

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- JayBee

BPOV

"Congratulations. You're a fucking genius."

I stared at him in shock. I couldn't believe he was acting this way. I couldn't believe all the things he'd lied about!

Nothing seemed to faze him; all he did was drop his head back down. I was…I…I couldn't dwell on the Jacob thing right now. I had to figure out what to do with Edward.

Think, Bella. Think.

I stood up and rushed over to Edward's computer. I went on the internet to find something – anything – about this.

A page of entries came up, and I clicked on the first one.

Cocaine brings on a euphoric rush of well-being and confidence. Given a high enough dose, this rush can be almost orgasmic, like the one produced by heroin. … High doses of the drug
produce cocaine intoxication, whose symptoms are poor muscle coordination, grandiosity, bad judgment, anger, aggression, compulsive behavior, and anxiety. … Regular use of cocaine
may lead to a pattern of abuse in which the person remains under its effects much of each day and functions poorly in social relationships and work. Dependence may also develop, so
that cocaine dominates the person's life, higher doses are needed to gain the desired effects, and…

I stopped reading and closed the window.

I sat back and let out a sigh as I stared at the screen. There was nothing I could do. I had to wait it out. I turned my head to the side and watched him empty out another
small plastic bag.

How much more was he going to take?

I felt so helpless…

I wasn't going to leave him alone when he was like this. Who knew how many times he was alone when he was this way? I walked over to the bed next to Edward's, and looked
at him again before laying down slowly, facing his closet. I didn't want to look at him. I couldn't see him giving in to this thing.

He was always on top of things. I couldn't imagine Edward getting this…low…being this weak.

I closed my eyes quickly and willed myself to go to sleep. I regretted the thought as soon as it came to mind. He was not a weak person. He was my rock.

I briefly wondered if he had called Mrs. Radkey, before I fell asleep for the second time that day.

When I woke up, I was facing Edward's bed. He was sleeping, one arm draped over his face and the other resting on his stomach, moving up and down with each deep breath he took.

I looked at the time. 9:30. I couldn't have been asleep for more than an hour.

I watched Edward sleep for a few minutes, taking in his peaceful form. I thought about leaving, but I could never do that to him.

I stood up and went to sit by his feet before speaking softly.

"Edward."

No answer.

I rubbed his leg lightly. "Edward." My heart thumping against my chest as I waited for a response.

"Hm?" He kept his eyes closed, and I wondered if he was still sleeping. At this point, I wanted nothing more than to just snuggle up to his warm body.

"Did you call Max's mom?"

He didn't answer right away, so I sat there, waiting.

And waiting.

And waiting.

His body jerked up to a sitting position as he let out a loud gasp, and I jumped to my feet as I brought my hands up to my mouth. I slowly lowered my hands, looking at him
before I whispered. "What?"

His eyes focused on me and he let out a sigh. "…bad dream." He swung his legs over the side of the bed and looked at the mess on the table.

"Did you call her?"

He turned his head to look at me, his eyes hooded, his voice groggy with sleep. "Who?"

"Mrs. Radkey."

I didn't want to keep nagging him about it, but if she thought we were picking Max up, I didn't want to keep them waiting. We obviously weren't going bowling anymore.

"Oh. Um…no." He shook his head.

I sat there, waiting for him to explain everything, but all he did was stare back at me. "I think I deserve an explanation after what just happened."

He looked down at his feet. "What do you wanna know?"

I forced myself to stay calm. "When did you meet him?" I motioned toward the table next to his bed. "Do you buy all this from him?"

"Jacob?" I didn't answer, so he continued, his voice small. "Um…We met last year. He was in my Statistics class. We hung out a few times outside of class, and I was gonna
introduce you guys." He stopped for a second, biting his lip. "But then one day when we were hanging out, he…just brought weed and then…I don't know…I forgot how good it
was, Bella." He lay back on the bed and looked up at the ceiling for a few seconds before he continued. "I wanted to tell you that I started doing it again, but I –"

"You didn't want me to know." I was surprised at how cold my voice was.

"I…" He rubbed his hands over his face and let out a sigh. He sat up before turning to look at me. "That's not true. If I was going to tell anyone, it would have been you. And I
was gonna tell you. I swear."

"No one knows?" He shook his head, and I had to look away. He looked miserable. "You're lying. Lie after lie after lie. You weren't going to tell me. You were gonna keep this
going as long as you could." I turned to look at him. "You lied to everyone. Everyone! Your family, your friends – they all think you're this perfect guy. Good grades, amazing athlete,
handsome, polite –"

He shut his eyes quickly. "Stop…I told you I wasn't perfect."

"Yeah! And you said it was because you had a temper! That was your chance to tell me what was going on! You had so many chances. You could've told me whenever you wanted to!"

He opened his eyes, the emerald color smoldering. "No. I couldn't have. You would've acted exactly like this." He pushed himself off the bed and took a few steps toward
me. "I don't wanna see you like this."

"And I wanted to see you like that? With a straw up your nose?" He kept quiet. "How did you even get into this?"

He shrugged, looking out the window. "Same way, I guess. Jacob just…brought it with him one day, and I wanted to see how it would be. So I…tried it. And liked it."

It was silent for a while, ticking of his clock the only sound in the room.

"But I…" He took in a deep breath and held it before letting it out. "I'm not…it's…I can't control it anymore. It controls me."

I stood up and threw my hands into the air, letting them fall limply at my sides. "So that's it? It was that simple? He just had everything with him and you gave in? You didn't even stop
to think that your curiosity could ruin your life?"

He pointed a finger at me as he yelled. "You don't know what I was thinking, Bella! You think I wanted all of this to happen? You think I wanted to make up these lies?"

"So why did you? Why didn't you just tell me? Why didn't you tell anyone?"

He shrugged and took another step toward me. "I thought…I could stop. Especially after Jacob stopped." He shook his head slowly. "Bella, I did it to Alice, too."

Did what to Alice? She wouldn't get caught up in all this. I brushed it off and gestured toward the table as I looked at it. "Does…Jacob do this too?"

He shook his head and I felt my anger rise again. "Just weed."

I ran my hands through my hair and looked at him. I didn't even know what to say. "Oh my God, Edward. I feel like I'm scolding a fucking kid! Every time you go out, you're
with him. Which wouldn't be a problem, but look at the shit you do! Like today. The note you left me. You're always just 'out'. You're out doing this shit! Always!"

He shook his head furiously. "Not always."

"Today –"

"No! I wasn't with him today!"

"Then what –"

"I was busy with this!" He turned around and snatched something from his bed, flinging it at the wall next to him. I turned my head and saw that it was a book. I stared at Edward
before going over to the wall and picking it up. I flipped through it, opening to a random page.

I froze.

'Bella came over today. She wore sweatpants and a white tee, no makeup. I wanted to tell her that that's when she looks the most beautiful. I'll make sure she knows it someday.'
My heart broke with each page I turned. … 'I kissed Bella today. What a mistake. She didn't like it.' … 'I love her.' … 'I have to tell everyone about Jake. Or at least tell my Bella.' I skimmed
down to the bottom of the page. 'I'm in love with her.' … 'I'm going to murder Brian.' … '…that she can't be with Jacob. He's not good for her.' … 'I hate Jacob.' … 'How am I going to tell
her I love her?' 'Bella…' 'Bella…' … '…but she's not like my Bella.' 'Bella…' … 'Bella…' 'Bella…' 'Bella…' … 'Bella…' '…as much as I love her.' What? 'It tears me up inside to think this, but
sometimes I think Bella doesn't love me as much as I love her.'

I let out a shaky breath and closed the book slowly as I looked up at Edward. I tried to keep my composure.

I wanted to forget all of this and just show him how much I did love him. He was my everything.

My mind went blank. I just…I couldn't believe I made him think I didn't love him as much as he loved me. My voice quivered as I spoke. "What is this?"

He shrugged and looked away, the sadness never leaving his features. "A journal?"

Another thought occurred to me then, and I prayed to God that what I was thinking wasn't true. "All those things you paid for…was the money from –"

"No."

"Edward."

"No. Why would you even think that?"

I felt myself getting angry again, and honestly wished for all of this to be over with already. "Do you blame me? After all of this, I think it's safe to say that it's not such a
far-fetched idea!" I tried to keep myself from yelling, but it was either that, or stop myself from crying. I chose the latter.

"You really believe I'd do that." It wasn't a question, and the look on his face immediately made me wish I could take back what I'd said. "Bella, you know I work my ass off
to save up money. And it's not like I just started buying you things out of the blue." It was true. Ever since his first job at Modell's, he'd always saved up money to pay for
everything he could pay for. He had worked hard to get into the office he was working at now, and thinking about it made me feel even worse about myself. So far, I'd done
absolutely nothing to start a career after college. I mentally kicked myself in the head for even thinking Edward's money was drug money.

I wanted him to know that I wasn't specifically talking about him buying things for me, but the only word that left my mouth was a meek "sorry." I looked away and rubbed my
right eye as if there was something in it, trying to wipe away the tear that was about to escape without making it obvious. I looked back at Edward. Why had I even tried to
hide the tear? He knew. Of course he knew.

He moved his gaze down, and reached a hand out toward me. I pulled back before he had a chance to touch me, and he quickly peered up at me before looking back down. He
was staring at my hands.

His brows furrowed as his face contorted into a pained expression. "I'm sorry."

I blinked rapidly a few times to keep the tears back. Seeing him like this killed me. I wanted to beg him to smile, but dropped my head down instead.

That's when I saw them. The blue and purple spots scattered on my wrists. I let out a small gasp as I twisted my wrists and saw that they were covered all the way around.

I didn't want to think about how the marks had gotten there. It was in the past.

Still, I couldn't prevent a few tears from falling.

"Bella, I' m sorry. I'm sorry." His voice cracked, and I picked my head up to look at him.

He was on his knees, closer than before. He hesitated before reaching a hand out toward me again. He gently held one of my wrists and kissed the marks he had made
there. I felt a wetness against my skin and looked again at Edward's face. Tears were streaming down freely, and I threw my head back, looking up at the ceiling as I finally let
my own tears escape.

This was too much.

"Oh God, Edward. What am I supposed to do? I give up." I looked down at him. "How am I supposed to know what was true and what was a lie? All of this has been going on for…so long."

"No."

"No, what? You guys…fucking teamed up against me! Played a game to see who could keep the secret longest. Well, guess what? You lost, Edward! Jake won! You're the one who
messed it all up. Oh. Wait. I'm sorry. You're sick of consoling me all the time, right? Lucky for you, I stopped crying alllll by myself!" I dropped my voice down a few octaves, mimicking
their voices. "'Let's pretend we don't know each other so Bella doesn't find out,' right? 'Yeah, Bella. You can meet Jasper one day.' 'Oh. No, Bella. I don't want you to meet him. He's not a
good person.' I should've guessed that it was him. You didn't think Jacob was a good person. You didn't think Jasper was a good person. Whenever you had plans with Jasper and I
had plans with Jacob, Jasper would cancel on you. No one knows more about me than you do, and no one knows more about you than I do. If I can't trust you, who am I gonna
trust?" I couldn't bring myself to speak my next thought, but he had to hear it. "…I can't even trust you anymore…"

"Yes you can." His voice was barely above a whisper.

"I hate you."

"What?"

"I hate you."

He froze. "You don't mean that."

"Yes I do."

There was a pleading look in his eyes, and I knew he was silently begging me to tell him I didn't mean it.

I couldn't be here anymore. I couldn't bear this.

I took a step back, and he immediately lunged forward, wrapping him arms around my legs tightly. "No! Don't leave. Please."

I kept my voice calm without much effort. I was done with this. I didn't really care anymore; there was no need in yelling when I felt completely numb. "Let go of me, Edward."

He rested his cheek against my stomach as his body shook with sobs. "No, Bel…la. Please. I need you."

"Look at yourself, Edward. You're a wreck."

"I don't care." I nudged his shoulders to get him off, but he didn't budge. "I swear…I swear. I'll stop."

I took in a deep breath and let it out. "You don't get it. It's not the drugs. I wouldn't have held that against you. You lied to me. To everybody. About so many things. God…you made
up stories. And I just believed them." His eyes were puffy and he breathed heavily as he stared up at me. "Whatever. It doesn't even matter anymore."

He grabbed the hem of my shirt with one hand, the other still wrapped around my legs. I felt guilty for telling him I hated him, but I had no other way of expressing the way I felt.
Whether he and Jacob had planned it or not, I had never felt so betrayed in my life.

Edward choked on his sobs as he spoke. "What? It matters. It matters! I'm sor…I'm sorry. It was a mistake! I didn't do it on purpose, I swear. Baby, please. I wouldn't just…lie to
you like that."

"Just…" I let out a sigh. "Let me go, Edward." Honestly, I just needed time to think about all of this.

"No. Never."

"I'll scream until you do."

I had to say it. I knew he wouldn't let go any other way, and I just wanted to go home. He slowly dropped his arms and I took a step back, finally putting some distance between us.

I looked down at his blotchy face, and my heart shattered.

"Bella, please. Please. Stay."

I didn't trust myself to speak. I'd have a breakdown.

I turned around and stared out into the dark hallway as I walked out of his room. He yelled after me, his voice rough.

"Bella! Please!"

I covered my ears as I made my way to the end of the hallway. It seemed endless, and I thanked God when I reached the stairs. I turned around to walk down the staircase, and
looked into Edward's room once more. He was still on his knees, his shoulders slumped and his head hanging low. His body shook as he took in shaky breaths.

I walked down the stairs, immediately stopping halfway down.

You fucking idiot. This is why he thinks you don't love him as much as you do.

I couldn't believe what I'd just done.

I turned around quickly and sprinted up the steps. I ran the length of the hallway and into Edward's room, falling to my knees in front of him. His head jerked up and I hugged him
tightly, pulling him to me.

He wrapped his arms around me and buried his face in the crook of my neck as my hand went to the back of his head.

"Bella." As close as I was to him, he whispered my name so softly that I barely heard it. I felt the wetness of his tears and the heat of his skin against mine as he breathed heavily.

I spoke softly, just loud enough for him to hear. "Shhh. It's okay. It's okay." I played with his hair a bit to calm him down. I couldn't bare to think about how
I'd acted. "Listen to me, baby."

I felt his breath against my neck, and listened to the rhythm of his breathing in the silence. "Are you listening?"

He took a second to answer. "Yes."

"I love you, Edward. With everything I have. You have to believe that and never forget it. I could never hate you. Ever. Don't you ever believe me if I tell you otherwise." I knew
at that moment that I'd never tell him I hate him. "I wouldn't be able to live knowing that you thought I hated you. No one can love anyone else as much as I love you. I love
you just as much as you love me, okay?"

He didn't say anything for a while. We sat on the ground, clinging to each other. He let out a silent "okay" as he brought his head up slowly.

My breath caught in my throat as I looked into his bloodshot eyes. I was the one to do this to him.

I felt the tears flowing down my cheeks as soon as he spoke. "I'm so sorry."

"Don't be. I –"

"I have to tell you something."

"Tell me."

"I did it to Alice, too." The words rushed out of his mouth.

He looked down at my wrists, and I understood what he had meant before. I forced myself not to do or say anything that would make me feel worse.

"When?"

He looked up at me, hurt taking over his features. "A few weeks ago."

I kept quiet, thinking of what to say next. "I didn't see anything."

"Not her wrists. I…"

"Tell me. Please." I kept my voice calm.

"I…punched her arm. Hard." I kept quiet, waiting for him to continue. "She cried so much, Bella. And it bruised so badly."

"She didn't say anything to me."

"She didn't tell anyone."

I couldn't imagine how much it must have hurt both of them. Edward had made sure Brian wasn't doing anything to her, and here he actually punched her.

I knew nothing I said would make him feel better, but I had to try. "It's okay." I hoped he knew that I meant it, and I wasn't saying it just to say it.

"That's what she said. She thought I just…lost my temper. She didn't know…"

I looked at the table next to his bed. "It's okay. Bruises fade."

"But memories don't. Not for things like this."

"Don't think about it right now. She loves you. I'm sure she forgave you." We sat quietly for a while before I broke the silence. "I'm sorry. For everything."

"I…It's okay."

"No. It's not okay. I know I…I know I start fights over nothing. And I'm so sorry. I know it hurts you." He brought his hand up slowly to wipe away my tears. "I know you
wouldn't make up those lies on purpose. It just…escalated into something bigger than you wanted it to be." He nodded as I continued. "You don't have to try to convince
me. I believe you. And you're not…" I took a deep breath. "You're not a weak person. We're gonna get you help, okay? And things will get better."

I had no idea if things would get better or not, but for Edward's sake – and mine – I had to believe that they would.

He had stopped crying, but he was so quiet. I felt myself start to panic again.

It was obvious that he wanted to say something, but he hesitated.

"What is it? Tell me."

I saw the question in his eyes before he even spoke. "Um…when you say 'help'…"

"A rehabilitation center."

"Bella…"

I made sure to speak in a way that didn't sound like I was chastising him. "I know you don't want to go. But you said you can't control it anymore."

"I can't be away from you for that long, Bella."

"I feel the same way, but it's for the best. We'll keep in touch. You'll be thankful in the end."

"Everyone will find out. I don't…want my family to know. You and Alice…and my mom…you're the most important women in my life. I already hurt two of you. This will
break my mom's heart. And what about your dad? What if he arrests me?"

"Don't worry about Alice and me. And don't be silly, Edward. My dad sees you as a son. And in a situation like this, you're his son before you're anything else. He wouldn't
arrest his own child."

I saw a small smile play on his lips before he spoke. "I still don't wanna go. Now that you know, maybe you can help me. Just when I feel like I can't take the cravings anymore?"

I didn't know if I was strong enough to do that…I didn't even know what I could do to help.

"Please, Bella?"

Of course I would help him. I would try my hardest. I nodded. "Okay. Yeah. We'll try."

He put his hands on both sides of my face as he slowly leaned his head down. He placed his lips on mine and kissed me slowly, deeply.

The kiss went from sweet to passionate very quickly, and I pushed him back onto the floor as I straddled his hips. My hands inched their way down his chest, and I let
them rest at the hem of his shirt for a while.

I pushed his shirt up a bit, feeling the heat emanate off his skin. I took hold of his waistband and began pushing his pants down, when I felt Edward's hands on mine.

He pulled back and looked at me, his eyes dark as he spoke softly. "Not tonight."

I nodded and gave him a peck on the lips. He looked sorry, but I understood. He must have been tired after everything that had happened.

He put a hand on my lower back, holding my body close to his. "Stay with me tonight?"

I nodded quickly. "Of course."

He gave me one last kiss before I pulled away to get my phone. I called my dad to let him know I was spending the night at Edward's. I had never been more grateful about
him letting me sleep over Edward's house than I was at that moment.

I heard Edward brushing his teeth in the bathroom, and went to do the same.

He was shirtless, and I blatantly stared as his muscles rippled with each movement of his arm. He turned his head, his hand still on his toothbrush. My heart melted as a small
smirk formed on his lips. He beamed at me as I smiled; I'd missed his smile so much.

I cocked an eyebrow at him, pretending to be suspicious. "Where's my toothbrush?" It felt so good to talk about something else, even if it was about a toothbrush.

Edward bit down on his toothbrush as he opened the mirror cabinet and handed it to me.

He washed his face before turning off the light and following me into his room. I turned off the lights in his room and crawled into his bed, facing the window.

I felt the bed shift as Edward lay down behind me, and I waited for him to put his arm around me.

I couldn't wait to feel the contours of his body against mine.

I waited a few minutes, and felt nothing.

He did absolutely nothing, and it broke my heart. I felt the tension radiating off his body. Was he afraid to touch me? That couldn't be. We had hugged and kissed moments before.

I didn't question him.

I reached my arm back slowly and took hold of his hand, feeling its warmth as I brought it over my body. I intertwined our fingers and kissed the back of his hand as he moved
closer to me, curling his body around mine. I smiled when I felt him relax, the tension leaving.

"Edward."

"Yeah."

"I love you."

"I love you, too."

"Always?"

He brushed my hair to the side and placed a soft kiss on my neck. "Always."

Awww, happy ending!

Kind of. Edward's problem still isn't solved, but at least everything's out in the open!

I can assure all of you, this story is far from over.

Oh, and I took the things Bella read about cocaine online from my Abnormal Psychology textbook, so they're actual facts. The effects last about 24 hours (I think), and
if a person takes a high dose, he/she "crashes" afterward, but for the sake of this chapter, I changed that for Edward.

I hope you guys enjoyed this story.

PLEASE REVIEW!

Over 260 people have put me in their alert (Thank you so much!), so I expect that many reviews for this chapter. (:

Okay. I know that's asking for too much, so I'll settle for 50. (:

Thank you guys so much for reading this far!