The song for this chapter is "Sparks" by Coldplay.

"Did I drive you away?
I know what you'll say.
You'll say, "Oh, sing one we know"
But I promise you this,
I'll always look out for you.
That's what I'll do."

- JayBee

BPOV

"So?"

I looked up at Edward as he squeezed my hand. The sun gave his hair a tint of dirty blonde, and I looked down at his hand in mine before looking up at his eyes.

"Hmm?"

"Bellaaa, give me an answer. It's been…" His lips moved as he looked away and counted the days. "…11 days."

"I don't know."

He stopped walking and let go of my hand. He took a few steps back and leaned on the trunk of a tree. I took a few steps forward, closing the distance between us.

He took hold of my hands and wrapped them around his waist as he wrapped his arms around mine. "You can say no."

"I don't want to say no."

I watched his lips as they pulled up into a smirk. "So say yes." I kept quiet. I didn't know what I wanted. More important than that, I didn't want to break his heart. He rested his
forehead against mine, and I immediately looked down. "Bella." My eyes shot up and I held my breath as I stared into his striking eyes. "Please…give me an answer. I hate not knowing
what you're thinking." He pulled his head back before looking down at our shoes. I heard him mumble something about wishing he could read my mind, but I didn't probe any further.

I held his face in my hands and kissed his nose before looking at him. "I don't want to hurt you."

"You won't."

Do I want to move in with Edward? I would love to, someday. "But I keep shooting you down."

"No you don't."

"I do. First with the marriage and kids…now with this…I'm sorry. I'm scared. I don't want to move too fast. If we mess this up –"

He quickly put his hand over my mouth. "'re not gonna mess this up. I shouldn't have brought this up that night, but I did. I wasn't thinking before I spoke. And then I wanted to take
my words back, only because I knew it would be too soon for you. But then I thought that maybe you would see it the way I see it." I shivered slightly and he pulled me closer to him. "Think of
all the nights you sleep over. Living together will just be a sleepover every night."

I buried my face in Edward's shirt and mumbled, "Not yet."

He kissed the top of my head and pulled my face away from his chest to kiss my lips softly. "That's fine."

My heart broke when I heard the sadness in his voice. I felt even worse when I realized he was trying to cover it up.

"I don't want you to move out."

He kept quiet for a while, and the silence was eating me up inside.

"I won't."

"But you want to." I waited a few seconds and squeezed him when he didn't answer. "Edward."

He nodded his head slightly. "Yeah. Yeah, I want to."

I had to be one of the most selfish people on Earth, keeping him back from moving forward with his life. "You should do it."

"Move out?"

"Yeah."

"No. I won't."

"You can't let me hold you back. I'm not giving you what you want, and on top of that, I'm holding you back from doing what you want to do."

His brows furrowed slightly as his lips pulled down into a frown. "You give me everything I want and more just by being here. You're not holding me back from anything. I haven't even
thought this through. The first time I realized that I actually wanted to get a place of my own was when I brought it up the night of my birthday."

"But you want to do it. And you can afford it. Nothing's holding you back besides me. You didn't dorm at college because of me, you get into fights with people because of me –"

"And I'm always smiling because of you, I'm a better person because of you,I love my life because of you. I didn't dorm because I didn't want to. I get into fights because people are blind
as to how incredible you are and don't know how to treat you." He nuzzled my neck and kissed it softly. "I love you so much."

"I love you, too." He let out a heavy sigh and picked his head up to look at me. "What is it?"

"We should head back. I have to go to work in an hour."

I draped my arms lazily around his neck and gave him a quick kiss. "Don't go."

My heart jumped in my chest when I saw the silly smirk plastered on his face. "Please don't pout."

I pulled my lower lip back in slowly. I hadn't even realized I was pouting. "Don't go. Today's supposed to be your day off."

"I only have to go in for a couple of hours. I'll be back by 5:30. Tanya had to give a presentation today but she got sick. They have no one that can do the presentation now, so I have to go in. It'll be quick."

"Oh. Who's Tanya?"

"You know Tanya. Tanya Denali."

"Your ex?"

"That's the one."

"Oh." When did she start working with Edward?

He took a small step forward and I began walking backwards. After a few steps, he grabbed my hands from around his neck and interlaced his fingers in mine as I walked beside him. "Do you
want me to help you look for apartments?"

"No. I'm not going anywhere without you. Stop bringing it up."

"But I'm –"

"No."

"But –"

"Nope."

Grrr. "Edw –"

"I said no."

I turned my head to see the small smile on his lips. "Alright, dad." And like that, the small smile disappeared. I didn't want him to stay because of what I wanted. If he moved, I could still
see him every day. I'm sure he'd find someplace close.

But still, I wanted him as close to me as possible.

"Edward."

He turned to me quickly and raised his eyebrows. "Yeah."

"I want to move in with you."

"Bella…don't say that just because –"

"No. I want to." If he asked me to sleep over his house every single day, I'd say yes. Every. Single. Day. If we did move in together and I ever wanted to move out or spend a night at my
dad's house to have some time alone, I know Edward would understand. It would be like a continuous sleepover.

The more I compared it to the times I slept over his house, the more confident I felt.

"Are you absolutely positive?" I nodded and he squeezed my hand and beamed down at me. "Thank you so much."

It felt as if my heart was going to burst when he was this happy. "I love you."

"Aww. Thank you, baby. That's nice."

"Edward!"

He let out a laugh and looked at me. "What?"

"Say it back."

"It back."

"Edward!"

His features softened a bit and he stopped laughing. "Are your feelings going to change if I don't say it back?"

"Never."

"I love you."

"Always?"

"Always and always and always and always." He smiled again, and I couldn't help but stare at the contrast between his soft smile and the rest of the rugged features in his face.

This is not the time to ogle over him.

I told my thoughts to shut up. Every second of every day was the perfect time to ogle over Edward. Men like him were one in a billion.

When we got back to Edward's house, I lounged around on his bed and watched TV as he got ready. I turned my head and watched Edward as he rolled the sleeves of his button-down shirt
up to his forearms and walked over to the bed. He laid his hands next to my head and leaned down to give me a quick kiss. "Bye, baby."

"Bye." I watched him walk away in his grey shirt and black slacks.

Even from the back, he was so fucking sexy.

His head turned to the side as he walked down the hall. "Stop staring at my ass!"

I don't think he understood how hard it was to do that. "Stop looking so adorable!"

He flashed a smile at me as he turned to go down the stairs. I listened to his mother ask him what he was talking about. I wondered what she was talking about. I felt my cheeks burn as I
blushed. Okay, I knew what she was asking about.

I turned off the TV and heard Edward reply with, "Oh, haha. I was talking to Bella," before he left. Oh, my God. I don't want her to think about me staring at her son's ass!

I groaned and turned onto my stomach, shoving my face into Edward's pillow.

I could stay this way forever – with Edward right next to me, of course. His scent was…something completely different. I don't even know what it is. His shampoo doesn't smell like this, the cologne
he wears once in a blue moon doesn't smell like this. This was just…Edward. That's the only way I can explain it.

I pushed myself off the bed slowly and went downstairs.

"Oh, hi, dear."

"Hi, Mrs. Cullen." I watched her dice up peppers and throw them in a bowl, smiling at me as she mixed the ingredients with her hands.

"So what are you kids doing today?"

I went to sit by the kitchen island, and turned toward her. "Um…well, Edward's at work, and I think I'm gonna go look for a job while he's gone." What? I didn't even think about doing that. "And
then I think we're going bowling with a few people tonight.

"That's great. Good luck with the job hunt. How's your father? I haven't seen him in a while."

"He's good. Still working and fishing," I finished with a small laugh.

"Same as always, huh?"

"Yupp." My father was such a routine man. He'd been doing the same thing with his life forever, and he had no intention of changing anything anytime soon. I guess that's what happened
when people got old. Maybe he just didn't want to change anything because he was settled and content with his life. He didn't really have anyone – a few friends…and me. And I was
thinking of leaving him to live with Edward. Was that selfish? I didn't want to leave my dad alone in the house, but I wanted to be with Edward. I would have to move out sometime.

"We'd love to have you both over for dinner this Saturday. I'll call him later today to let him know."

I smiled sincerely at her. "Thank you." I got up and gave her a hug. "Bye, Mrs. Cullen. I'm gonna get going."

"Bye, Bella. Tell your father I said hi."

"I will. Thanks."

Thank God she didn't mention me staring at Edward's butt.

"Dad?" I walked inside the house, looking around for him.

"Upstairs, Bells!"

What if my dad didn't want me to move in with Edward?

What if he didn't want me to marry Edward?

I shook the thoughts from my head. No. He wouldn't give me any problems. He liked Edward. If he had any problems, he would have told me about them already.

I made my way up the stairs slowly and went into his bedroom, where he was putting on a t-shirt. "Hey, dad."

"Hey, kiddo." I made a face at the nickname, but didn't say anything. "I'm heading out to Little Italy with Billy. Do you wanna come with us?"

"No, thanks. Oh, Mrs. Cullen is inviting us over for dinner on Saturday."

"That's nice. Maybe we can go early and help with everything."

I let out a small laugh. There was no way. "Dad, you know they would never let you help them. They'd keep telling you that you're the guest and to just sit down." I walked over to him and
wrapped my arms around him tightly.

He slowly hugged me and rubbed my back. "What brought this on?"

"Nothing."

"Is something wrong?"

"No." I willed myself not to cry. How was I going to move out and just leave him here all alone? I pulled back and walked toward the door before looking back at him. "I'm gonna go job hunting, and
then bowling, so if I'm not home, you know where I am."

"Have fun."

"Thanks."

I grabbed my car keys and Coach bag from my room and left in a hurry. I wanted to get this over with. Changes made me nervous, and beginning my career would be a huge change.

I sat in my truck and let out a big sigh. I know this is a good move forward, but I'm almost considering putting it off even more. I don't know why I can't just do this. It's not a big deal. Everyone
has to start their career sometime. Edward began his right after we graduated.

I pulled out onto the road and drove to the first hospital on my mind. After that, it was easier to go to each hospital or medical center. I went to four places, and got an application from three of
them. The one farthest from my house didn't have a psych ward, but I didn't mind. It was forty-five minutes away. I wouldn't want to drive that far when there were closer and better places
to work at.

I stopped by at Starbucks on my way back and got a Raspberry White Mocha Frapp – heaven in a cup.

As soon as I got home, I went upstairs and took a shower. I reveled in the feel of the water as it cascaded over my skin. It was amazing how much a shower could relax someone.

I dried myself and put on a black tank and black shorts. I put my iPod on its dock, and turned on some Coldplay. I didn't really enjoy silence the way I used to, only because it made me think
about Edward's situation even more – I thought about it enough when I wasn't sitting in complete silence. I didn't need the lack of sound to be something else that the thoughts would feed on.

I sat down at my desk and began filling out the applications. I wanted to do this as soon as possible. I had put this off enough.

I heard the doorbell ring and groaned as I went to see who it was.

I smiled before the door was fully open. I was greeted with a big white grin and green eyes. "Hi, baby." I grinned wider at his deep, smooth voice.

I moved to the side as Edward walked in and locked the door behind him before giving me a kiss.

"Hey. How did your presentation go?"

"It was okay." He held my hand and led me upstairs before turning around and walking up the stairs backwards, never letting go of my hand. "I had to compare stock markets with our
ratings…and a bunch of other bullshit."

I looked down at his feet, only half-listening to him. "You're gonna trip."

"No, I won't."

I looked back up at him He was so graceful, even walking backwards. "Of course you won't. Why, you're Edward Cullen. You would never trip and make a fool of yourself." I smirked, just to
make sure he knew I was kidding – sort of.

He squeezed my hand. "Don't say things like that."

I heard "Sparks" playing as we walked into my room. Edward lay down on my bed and pulled me down on top of him as he wrapped his arms around me.

At that moment, I felt guilty for all the times I'd called him perfect. Everyone thought him as Mr. Perfect and had such high expectations. I couldn't even imagine the pressure he must feel
from everyone to live up to those expectations.

Maybe that's why he got into coke.

No.

Because of all the pressure –

No. Don't think about it, don't think about it, don't think about it.

Why was he being so quiet? Why weren't we talking?

I moved my head to look up at him. "I picked up a few job applications today."

"Yeah? That's great, Bells."

He looked excited, and I laughed at his attempt to make me feel proud of myself. I hadn't done anything to be proud of yet. I hadn't even finished filling out the applications. I laid my head on
his chest and closed my eyes.

Hef didn't attempt to continue the conversation, so I kept quiet as well. A few minutes passed before either of us said anything.

"Bells, can we talk about something?"

I laid my hand on his chest and rested my chin on it, looking into his eyes. "Anything."

"If your mom -"

I turned my head to the side. "Not that."

"You don't even know what I was going to say."

"It doesn't matter."

"You said 'anything'."

I felt my anger rising. "We're not talking about that right now."

"Then when?" He was doing a great job keeping his voice calm.

I, on the other hand, felt myself getting angrier with each passing second. "I don't know, Edward." I didn't want to talk about her. I didn't want to think about her not being here.

I laid my head on his chest, and for a long while, the only things I could hear were the music and sound of Edward's heartbeat. I looked up to see if he was sleeping and saw him looking
down at me with a smile. It was more than enough for my anger to subside. We stayed wrapped up in each other for a long while, neither of us saying much.

Edward's voice made me a jump. "Bells, if I tell you something, please promise me you won't panic."

I felt my heart pace. I knew what he was going to say. Please, God, let this be a dream. Please.

"Bella. Promise me."

"I promise." I could barely hear my own voice.

"I can't take it anymore."

I pushed myself off of him as he sat up against the headboard. "Are you okay?" It sounded like such a stupid question, but I didn't know what else to say.

"I'm sorry."

"For what?" He had nothing to apologize for. I moved myself to sit on his lap. He placed his hands on my thighs and used his thumbs to rub small circles on my skin.

My heart sank when he let out a sigh. "I tried to ignore it. Two days ago, when I first...felt it...like I couldn't control it...I did. I controlled it. And then yesterday, again, I got through the
day. I thought it would get easier, but it's not. I can't do this every day."

I took in a deep breath. I needed to accept that all of this was really happening. I needed to be strong. I mustered up all of my strength to talk to Edward about this without having a
meltdown. "Edward, why would you think that it would get easier? Didn't you think that you would begin going through withdrawals?"

"I don't know. I don't know what I was thinking."

I had to help him. Not because he had asked me to. Because I had to. I couldn't see him like this. "I'm sorry. I don't know what - what should I do? I'll do anything." I held my hands out, not
sure what to do with myself.

He held my hands and brought them down to my lap. "Bella, please don't panic."

I suddenly thought of an idea, and prayed to God it would work. I quickly wrapped my legs around Edward's waist and draped my arms around his neck as I leaned in to kiss him. He pulled
his head back in shock before bending down and kissing me. I ran my hands through his hair before placing my hand at the back of his neck. Teeth and tongues crashed into each other as
we kissed passionately. We couldn't waste time being sensual and slow.

I began unbuckling Edward's belt with my other hand, when I felt his hand on my wrist. He pulled back, panting loudly. "What are you doing?" I leaned forward again, only to have him move his head away. "Bella."

"I'm gonna take your mind off of it. I agreed to help you get through it, remember? I'm going to do it."

He ran a hand through his hair, letting out a long sigh. "That won't help, Bella." He motioned to our laps. "When this is over, I'll still be feeling it. As much as I'd looove to, we can't just have sex forever."

We both let out a small laugh. I loved him for being able to make me laugh at a time like this. "It was working well up until now. Maybe we could talk through it instead?" I almost cringed
at how childish my plans were. I held his face in my hands and ran my thumbs over his eyebrows. "What can we do?"

My heart sank even farther when he shrugged. He looked so hopeless. "I don't know. I've tried to think of everything. Can I just...Can I do it once more? Just to ease the craving..."

He looked so hurt and desperate that I almost considered it. He looked at me with wet eyes, his brows furrowed. Was he waiting for an answer? I felt like slapping myself hard. How could
I think about letting him do it again? "No."

"Just once."

"Listen to yourself, Edward. What would that do? Give you relief for what, a week? Maybe even less. And then you'd be back in this same position, probably feeling even worse than you do now."

He laid his head back against the headboard and looked up at the ceiling. "I know, I know."

"We can't stop this by ourselves." I prayed to God he wouldn't get mad at what I was suggesting.

He brought his head back up, looking at me. "Well, we're gonna have to. I'm not going anywhere, if that's what you're implying."

"How else are you going to conquer this?"

"I just...will."

I rolled my eyes. "Great answer."

"Well, what do you want me to say? I can't fucking control this shit anymore!"

"That's why we're gonna get you help."

"No, we're not. Everyone will find out, Bella. Everyone. The whole neighborhood. My friends, my family...my family. They can't find out about this." He picked me up off his lap and set me
down on the bed as he stood up.

"Edward, calm down."

"No. You don't understand, Bella. Do you know how fucking embarrassing it would be if everyone found out I was in rehab? I can't even imagine myself in a place like that. My parents are gonna be so disappointed. And Emmett, and Alice...and you. I told you I'm not going anywhere without you. I can't -"

"Then why didn't you think of all these things before you started all this? You don't have to be perfect, Edward." I stood up and held his hands, shaking my head. "You don't have to be perfect."

"I'm not."

"But you feel like you have to be. Don't you? Edward, you're already incredible at everything without even trying. You told me yourself that everyone has flaws. It's okay to slip up once
in a while. I understand this is more than a slip-up, but it's something that can be fixed. Please. I'm begging you. Go. I don't know what I'd do if this got worse. I'm sorry, but I'm not
strong enough to help you."

"You're wrong." I cocked an eyebrow. "You're the strongest person I know. I know you don't believe me, but it's the truth." He laid his forehead against mine. I looked down, watching his
chest move with each breath he took.

I leaned up to kiss his lips gently. "Thank you." I took his hands in mine. "So...?"

"Yes. I'll go."

I felt relieved. I gave him a big hug, and I felt comforted as he wrapped his arms around me. "Thank you. Thank you, thank you, thank you."

"Please don't thank me for something like this. This shouldn't be happening right now. I just shouldn't have done it."

"Shh. You can't have any regrets. What's happened has happened."

"This is not how I expected to move out."

I hit his chest lightly. "You're not moving out. This is just you...fixing things. Let's go." I held his hand and led him toward the door, only to be pulled back.

"Now?"

"Yes. Now."

"Can we do it tomorrow?"

"No, Edward." I couldn't see him like this for another day. Who knows how much worse he'd be tomorrow? I couldn't risk it - knowing he might be trying anything while I was away. And I
couldn't be with him 24/7 for the rest of our lives. I let out a sigh. "Do you really want to feel this miserable for another day?"

"No." His voice was barely above a whisper.

"Come on." I pulled him toward the bedroom door again. I heard his breathing pick up with every step we took. He stopped again as we walked up to the front door of his house. "Edward..."

"No, Bella. I can't do this!" He began panting, and I forced myself to stay calm. Was he hyperventilating? He gasped in a big gulp of air. "I think I'm gonna have a mental breakdown. They're
gonna kill me. They'll be so pissed. What am I gonna do? Bella, what am I gonna do? I can just imagine their faces and – "

I grabbed his forearms forcefully. "You listen to me, and you listen to me well. You are going to do this, Edward. Your family has a right to know what's going on. This is not some small white
lie. You're gonna get help, get clean, and come back so that we can move in together, get married, and have a family. If you don't do this, none of that is going to happen."

He said absolutely nothing. He didn't have to speak a word. Everything he was feeling was evident by the pained look on his face. I held his hand as he unlocked the front door.

We stared at his parents as they turned toward us. They greeted us before turning back to the TV. Mrs. Cullen's head snapped toward us and she darted up from her seat. "What's wrong?"

Was it that obvious?

We sat down on one of the couches as Edward's dad turned off the TV.

"Are Em and Alice home?" Edward's voice sounded so far away, as if he wasn't sitting right next to me.

His mom called for them, and we waited for them to come running down the stairs. I couldn't brush off the tense feeling in the room.

This had to be a dream.

I felt so guilty for putting Edward in this situation, but I would never let him jeopardize his life - especially this way.

Emmett and Alice sat at the couch across the one we were on, and for a few seconds, no one said anything. I gave Edward's hand a little squeeze to let him know it was okay.

He cleared his throat before speaking. I felt like I was about to throw up. "There's something you guys need to know. I mean, there are a lot of things you guys need to know…" He let go
of my hand and held his head in his hands as he stared at the floor.

He told them absolutely everything, never once looking up from the ground. He told them about Jacob, Jasper, the weed, the coke, the lies, everything. Mrs. Cullen started crying
immediately, and even then, Edward didn't look up.

"Bella, could you please give us a moment?"

As soon as I moved, Edward grabbed my shoulder. "No! You're gonna stay. Dad, Bella's the only reason I even told all of you what was going on."

I took his hand off my shoulder and placed it back on the couch. "Edward, it's okay."

He shook his head. "You don't have to leave. Please don't leave."

"I'm not leaving. I'll be right outside." I stood slowly and walked outside, closing the door and sitting on the top step. I wondered what they were talking about.

I put a stop to that thought immediately. It wasn't my business. They wanted to speak as a family.

I sat on that step for what felt like hours until I heard the door creak open. I whipped my head around to see who it was.

"Hey, Bella."

"Hey." I turned back around and looked out into the street.

"Um...my dad's gonna take Edward to the clinic once he's done packing. Edward told me to ask you if you wanted to go with them."

"Of course."

"'Kay. You don't have to sit outside, you know. You can come in."

I stood up and dusted off my hands before turning around. "Thanks, Em." I gave him a big hug as he wrapped his arms around me and rubbed my back. He was like a life-size teddy
bear - made of 100% muscle.

"For what?"

"For being here. For Edward."

He let out a small laugh. "Of course I'm gonna be here for him. He's my blood."

We walked in and went upstairs, Emmett going into his room as I knocked on Edward's door.

"Come in." His voice was faint and husky. I opened the door slowly and walked in, closing it gently behind me. He was hunched over his duffle bag, grabbing things from his closet and
putting them in. He turned his head toward me and I struggled to keep my expression calm. His eyes were puffy and red, and he sniffled before speaking. "Hi." He sounded miserable.

I walked over to him as he pushed the duffle bag to the side and leaned back against the side of the bed. "Hey. How are you feeling?" I tried to sound cheerful, but it sounded so
fake, even to my own ears. I straddled his lap as he placed his hands on my hips. I tried to ignore the stabbing pain I felt in my heart when I saw the look in his eyes.

"Like crap. Are you coming?" I nodded my head and he kicked one of the closet doors behind me. I jumped at the loud bang. Edward dropped his head down. "I don't wanna go to fucking rehab."

"It's not forever," I said in a soothing tone. "Just for a little bit." I held his face in my hands and picked his head up to give him a kiss. "Please trust me when I say that you don't want
to be here when you're too far gone and none of us can help you. You know it'll tear your family apart."

"And you'll leave me."

I wrapped my arms around his neck and held on tightly. "I would never."

He buried his face in the crook of my neck and let out a sigh. "I don't wanna go."

I laid my hand on the back of his head and rubbed my thumb back and forth. "I know, baby. You'll be back soon."

He pulled back and stared at me. "Things only happen 'soon' when I'm with you. Time is not gonna fly when I'm in there, Bella. My entire summer is gonna go to waste."

I didn't want to think of how long he would be gone.

My tears threatened to escape as I looked at him. I was going to miss being this way with him. I force myself to smile softly. "Don't look like that."

"Like what?"

"Like somebody killed your puppy."

"I can't help it."

"You're gonna be back soon."

He shook his head. "It'll take over a month. It might even be six."

"You won't be there for six months." I didn't know who I was trying to convince – him or myself. "Everything will be the same when you get back. Just the way it is now. We'll all be waiting for you."

"Yeah, and everybody else will be talking shit behind my back."

"Fuck everybody else." He let out a small laugh, and I wished more than anything that he would laugh even harder, just so I could see it one last time before he left. "What's so funny?"

"You."

"Why? I'm being serious."

"I know, but when you curse…and you're all worked up…you're so adorable."

"This always happens when we wanna go bowling."

He let out another small laugh, but then the smile was gone, just like that. "Bells, I know that if I just do it one more time, just once, it'll go away. The pain and everything. Everything will go away."

What was he talking about? How would that work? "Edward, you're not thinking straight. What you're saying doesn't make sense. It'll take you another day to get the coke, and
snorting more of it isn't going to miraculously cure you."

"You don't get it," he grumbled in a low voice.

I pretended as if I didn't hear what he said. I wasn't going to argue with him about this. He was starting to act like a little kid, and it broke my heart. I knew this wasn't him.

"Do you want me to let your boss know that you won't be going in for a while?"

He crossed his arms and looked away. "No. I already called and told him everything."

"What did he say?"

"He said he understood and that my position would still be mine when I got back. And he said good luck." He was almost growling out the words.

I held his chin to have him look at me, only to have him jerk his head away. "Why are you acting like this?"

"I'm not acting like anything."

"Is it because you don't wanna go? Or because you wanna do it again and you can't?" I thought of all the things his family and I would do to take care of him if he never went to rehab
and just kept getting worse and worse.

"Edward, are you ready?"

We both looked toward the door when we heard his dad's voice.

"Yeah. I'm coming." We stood up and Edward stopped me as I bent down to get his bag. "I got it."

"No, I'll get it." I bent down to pick the bag up, and lifted it an inch off the ground. I brought my other arm forward to hold the bag with both hands, and wobbled toward the bedroom door.

Edward grabbed the bag and slung it over his shoulder before we walked out. "You go ahead with my dad. I'm just gonna say bye to everyone."

"Okay." I walked down the stairs and sat in the back seat of the car.

Mr Cullen ran his hands over his face before looking at me through the rearview mirror. "I'm sorry I asked you to give us a moment before, Bella. I was just…shocked. I can't explain
it. I mean, not that I have to explain it to you. He told us how you found out about all this. I can't thank you enough."

"For what?"

"For being strong and helping him come out with it…and for making him do this. He said you're the only reason he's going through with this, and that he'd continue doing it without telling
anyone if it wasn't for you. And he said that you're the only person he ever planned on telling."

I laid a hand on his shoulder when I saw the tears well up in his eyes. "Mr. Cullen, I'm sure that's not true. He would have told you guys either way." Or they would've noticed a change
in his looks and his weight – I wouldn't say that right now, though.

"I just never expected Edward to go through anything like this. I never even suspected…"

"I know." It was because of Edward's image. Would Mr. Perfect ever have a drug problem? Of course not.

"It's just…He's our son, and we had no clue what was going on."

"No one knew. We just need to look ahead. He's getting help, and that's all we can ask for right now."

I sat back in my seat as Edward walked out of the house. He put his duffle bag in the front seat before opening the back door and climbing in. He sat next to the door and pulled me to
him so that I was leaning against him. He kissed the top of my head and looked out the window as we pulled out. I looked outside before looking back at Edward. The night was crystal
clear today, but I'd much rather watch him.

Edward snuck glances at me every few minutes, but neither of us said a word. I understood if he didn't feel like talking. I don't know what that little episode upstairs was about, but I was
glad he wasn't mad anymore. The last thing I wanted was for us to be on bad terms when he left.

The 35 minutes it took to drive to the rehab center went by too quickly. I felt my eyes fill to the brim with tears, but willed them back.

As the car came to a stop, it hit me that if Edward wasn't back by next month, he wouldn't get to see Emmett before Em had to leave for college.

As soon as we stepped out of the car, Edward turned around and hugged me as he whispered in my ear. "Please don't make me go. Tell me you don't want me to go. I swear, I'll stop. I don't
even like doing it. Please, Bella."

It would have been so easy to just tell him I didn't want him to go. I would be speaking the truth. But this wasn't about my wants. This was about his needs. "Edward, you have to." I wanted
to ask him why he was acting like a kid. It broke my heart to see him this desperate. "Come on, let's go inside."

I held his hand as he grabbed his bag from the car. We all walked inside slowly, none of us really wanting to be there. We got the admittance forms from the front desk and went to sit in the
waiting room. Edward started filling out the papers as his father picked up a magazine and flipped through it. This place was so…calm and eerie. Everything was beige and white – as if the
colors of the whole building were completely washed out. As soon as Edward gave the papers in to the lady at the front desk, two men in long white coats came out of a room to take him inside.

Edward turned to me as the men began searching his bag. He hugged me tightly, almost to the point where it was uncomfortable. "Good luck with the job applications."

That caught me off guard, and I mumbled a "thank you" before hugging him back. "This will be over before you know it, and we'll all be waiting for you back home." My voice cracked at the
end as a few tears escaped. I believed the first half of that sentence just as much as he did. I knew that this would probably be the hardest thing he'd ever have to go through.

"I'm gonna miss you. Don't stop thinking about me, okay? Because I won't stop thinking about you."

"You're always on my mind and in my heart."

"Why did I have to do this, Bella? Why did I have to start?"

"Don't ask 'why' now. That's in the past. It's almost over. Just think about how amazing it'll be when you're done with this. I'm so proud of you for coming here. I love you so much."

"I love you, too. Always. You can't forget that, okay? Even if I'm in here for six months."

"You won't be." What the fuck would I do without him for six months? What would I do without him for a month? I felt myself panic at the thought of not being able to see him for over
a month. "Always?"

He squeezed me even tighter. "Always."

He let me go slowly and gave me a kiss before looking at me for a few seconds. He turned to his dad and hugged him as they spoke. I turned to the two men and saw them throwing
out Edward's shaving razors and nail cutter.

He pulled back from his dad and looked at us both. "I'll see you guys soon." He turned and grabbed his bag before walking away slowly with the two men on either side of him.

He turned around to look at us one last time before turning the corner.

We walked into another room and sat across a man in a suit. Mr. Cullen discussed the payments he would have to make to the clinic. I had no idea how expensive it was, and I could just
see Edward trying to pay his dad back when he came back home.

The car ride home was quiet. I did everything I could to hold back the tears, but the lump in my throat was becoming too much.

I explained everything to my dad when I got home, and went upstairs right after, leaving him to eat dinner alone. I couldn't eat anything, and I didn't want to be around anyone. I know
he wanted to talk about it, but the shocked look on his face was enough for me right now.

I laid down on my bed in complete darkness and finally let the tears flow freely.

I wish my mom was here right now. I could lay down with her right here, and she'd tell me everything was going to be fine. I wonder what she would look like if she was still here.

I turned onto my back and began to pray. I prayed for my mom to come back to life, or for me to be eight years old again. I just wanted to see her one last time. I prayed for Edward to
finish the treatments and come back tomorrow.

I knew the prayers were a waste. Nothing I prayed for was possible. They were just wishes.

I turned to my side and faintly wondered where the moon and stars were. I waited to see them shining through my window.

I waited all night, looking through the tears that blurred my vision.

Sleeping wasn't an option.

I stayed up all night, wondering what Edward was doing.

Would you have pushed Edward to go to rehab? Or just stuck it out and continued trying to keep him away from the drugs? On one hand, he would get help. On the other hand, you'd have him with you at all times, but you'd have to deal with his withdrawals and major mood swings.

I know some of you might say that one month isn't a long time, but when you need someone as much as they need each other – and I mean need – and you can't even so much as see their face for one month, it'll take its toll on you.

Oh, also, I'm not focusing on the weed, because that's not a physically addictive drug.

Please review! Your reviews make my day.