Kydania
Shit shit shit! They have begun the song without me. Why did we have to do this last minute? Why did I tell Bill I could do it? Just why period. That seemed the starting word for everything lately; why. Why this and why that. It is driving me nuts not having anything set up call me OCD or whatever mental disease you can come up with, I don't care, but if things aren't fixed soon I think Lydia is going to have to have to break the news to Tilly and Megan that I need to be placed in a padded box with an 'I love me" jacket.
Running a reach the edge of the stage but instinct stops me from stepping out. They are doing one of Tokio Hotel's songs. I feel the rhythm and try to pull the lyrics from the back of my mind. I close my eyes and find the underlining harmony dancing in between the base and guitar as Bill sings. I wait patiently before I make my entrance singing along with Bill as I make my way slowly onto stage looking at Bill trying to read what he needs me to do.
His brown eyes speak that I am doing just fine and he is happy I made it on time. We walk closer and closer until we are singing not to the crowd but instead each other. We both begin to reach the top of the song and begin jumping. Suddenly as if unexpected the climax is reached and we break away jumping and dancing about hyping up the crowd and smiling like fools. This reminds me of why I deal with all the drama and chaos of managing a band and singing in it. Not only is it the feeling of happiness but the feeling that I get to share it with so many other people.
The crowd is in a frenzy by the time we are done. Bill and I have to scream into the microphones just to be heard over the noise. My heart is in my chest with a constant hard thump as we bow to the crowd and with them a good night and thanks.
"Oh my god Kyda that was amazing!" Tilly is bouncing up and down as I hand her water and nod in agreement.
"You came on stage at just the right time with the right words and tone and just wow. Girl sometimes I wonder how I got so luck to be your friend." Lydia a diva as always.
"Way to kick ass Kyda." Megan simple as always.
Everything feels as it should be and seeing them smiling and satisfied right beside me after a mind blowing show makes me think for a second time tonight why I do this.
"You guys need to give yourself credit. If you weren't playing along with the guys so well I wouldn't have known what song." Being a band is a team effort in my opinion.
"Mrs. Shumen!" a voice rings down the hall as we walk toward our dressing room.
I turn to see who it is, "Yes?"
"Daniele needs you right away. She says it's urgent." David's assistant must have results for me after my instruction on how to handle Donavan while I was on stage. My hope is beginning to rise that I can make this tour work.
I ask a few more detail questions to the crew member and then ask Lydia to take care of the other two and that I should only be a little while.
Lydia
Four hours after a late night concert and she's still not back. What in the name of our band is she doing? Tilly and Megan needed to sleep before we shipped off to wherever Kydania planned with the assistant so I left the room to meander about the hotel hallways to worry in silence. Now I am beginning to think that the idea of walking about the hotel alone isn't that great and idea. It gives me too much room to think and stress over the past twenty-four hours of events.
They guys were fun to hang out with. Sure Gustav was a bit shy and Tom was, best put, Mr. Macho Man. Seeing Bill and Tilly push a fully clothed Gustav into the pool was funny but even better was how she seemed to take interest by waiting for his promised revenge upon her that would pay her back tenfold, which has yet to come.
The day had gone so well considering all that could have gone wrong and left the day in ruins. Yet, I still feel that something is about to go wrong. This underlining type of ach that warns me to be on guard just won't go away like I want it to. The worst part is that the aches are rarely ever wrong. Feeling this I want to build a wall and bring out all weapons in my power to protect those near to me. Caution and paranoia are setting in.
"Lydia?" I jump.
Why him and of all times why now, "Yes?"
"Why are you here?" his way of trying to communicate what he means through English brings a slight smile to my face. If I worry not worried it might have been broader.
"I just needed to think so I came out here." He nods understandingly.
"I do it too." He leans against the wall next to me, "the peace."
"More like insanity caused by the perception of eternity in the over calculated moments."
"Huh?" the squeaky noise of confusion that emitted from him might have made me laugh any other time but tonight in this moment I feel too serious to laugh at his sounds.
"Never mind." I slide down the wall by one of the room doors not far from my own.
Shockingly enough he follows suit sitting is a very lewd pose, "No I will not 'never mind'."
His eyes stare at me intently. I may not understand everything he speaks but I do get everything he says with his emotions. He wants to know, but why would he care? He seemed so upset with me all day and now he is trying to be nice. I don't get him but right now I guess the feeling for him is mutual.
"I'm not very good at German and it is hard to explain in simple terms using English. I don't think I could explain it to you so you would understand." I sigh as if this explanation alone is exasperating me already. Rude I know but worry has its hold on me.
"Make me understand."