Sorry it's so short!

The song for this chapter is "This Is Twice Now" by Lydia. This is the only title of this chapter (of those I've named) that is not a Chiodos or D.R.U.G.S. song, but I heard this song last week and loved it.

- JayBee

BPOV

"I don't want you! I want daddy!"

I let out sigh and looked up at the sky. "God, please help me." I looked back down at Lily before looking over to wear Emmett was sitting with Aiden in his lap. I took another glance at Lily, who was sitting in the woodchips, crying her eyes out. I plopped down in front of her, completely drained. Emmett and I had decided to bring Lily and Aiden to the park, but I was quickly beginning to regret that decision.

Emmett came over and handed Aiden over to me before taking a knee in front of a crying Lily under the monkey bars.

"Hey. Hey, munchkin." He tapped her shoulder as she wailed. "Hey, hey. What happened?"

"I f-fell!"

"Are you hurt?"

"My butt," she mumbled. I was glad that she had stopped crying so quickly, but I knew she was still hurting – and not physically. Knowing that and seeing her try to cope with it killed me.

Emmett bent down to pick her up and she wrapped her arms and legs around him before resting her head on his shoulder. "I want daddy."

"I know. I want him here, too. But he's coming back in five days." He forced a smile, even though Lily wasn't looking at his face.

I couldn't believe Edward was coming back in five days, and as much as it hurt not having him here, it was easier to get through these three months than it was last time – but I don't think I could make it through four months like last time. The only thing worse than not having Edward here was seeing Lily struggle with it. Some days, she was okay, but most days, she would wake up in the middle of the night crying for him.

I was more than privileged to have Emmett around, because he seemed to be the only one to be able to calm her down when she cried for Edward to come back.

Lily stayed clung to him as we began walking back home.

I couldn't explain to anyone in words how excited I was to have Edward back. And I was beyond excited for him to meet Aiden. To Aiden, Edward didn't exist. They'd never met. He was born two weeks after Edward left, and was just about three months old now. Edward had heard Aiden cry over the phone, and that was the extent of their relationship.

When we got back home, Em and I called everyone over for dinner, and I was thankful that he and Rose helped me prepare.

That night went by in a blur, mainly because everyone kept talking about Edward, and I didn't want to talk about him in detail, so I didn't pay much attention to the conversations going on.

Jasper lightly elbowed me and leaned in. "You okay?"

"Yeah," I smiled. I was fine. I was just anxious for Edward to get back. The last week was the hardest, because it passed by the slowest.

"Good." Jasper turned back around and continued eating and talking.

That night, I couldn't sleep. Besides the fact that Aiden kept crying, I couldn't stop worrying about how things would be when Edward got back. Would he be able to adjust to having two children? What if he isolated himself from everyone again? I wasn't worried about the rest of the family so much as I was worried about him isolating himself from Lily. The adults would understand if he cut himself off from them for a while – but how could I explain it to our daughter? I should have watched over him to make sure he wasn't doing anything behind my back.

But I didn't think he'd ever hide anything from me…again. And I didn't think he would relapse after all those years. Maybe he was just going to do it that one time. Maybe I made him go to rehab for no reason.

Ugh…no! It wasn't for no reason. How could he be so…so…irresponsible, so stupid? Why would he think he could control it the second time if he couldn't control it the first time? Why would he do it where our daughter could – and did – easily walk in and see him? Why would he want her to grow up around that, to think that was normal and okay?

I wiped the tear that had slid down onto my pillow, and turned onto my back. I couldn't cry over this anymore. I was so fucking sick of it.

Part of me wanted to hate him for doing this and leaving us, and part of me wanted to tell him it was okay and that I believed he would never do it again. But as much as I tried to force myself to believe the latter, I always had to watch over my shoulder. I knew that now. Even twenty years from now, I always had to make sure he wasn't in danger of falling back into the trap.

I heard footsteps running toward my room and turned my head to see a small figure in the doorway.

"Mommy?"

"Yeah, baby."

"I can't sleep."

I moved over and pulled the covers back as she made her way over and into the bed. I was glad to see she hadn't cried. She'd simply gotten out of bed and came over. Maybe my little baby was growing up faster than I thought.

I kissed the top of her head as she snuggled into my body.

"Daddy is coming in five days, right?"

"Yupp. Tomorrow, there will be four days left. And then three, then two, then one, and then he's home," I smiled.

"I'm gonna draw pictures for him and he can look at them when he comes back."

"He'd love it if you drew pictures for him."

Please, God, let him be excited for the pictures Lily draws for him. Please don't let him seclude himself from everybody when he gets back.

As always, reviews make my day. :)

(Oh, and some good news - Edward comes back in the next chapter.) - Well, it's only good if you still like him. I know some of you are pissed at him, but I love this guy, drugs or no drugs.