Beta read by Duesal10
Now it would be biased to claim that Uchiha's generally have the lowest alcohol tolerance among the clans of Konoha, but since the incident the day before involving Toka heedlessly stuffing Izuna with red wine, it is doubtless that the man himself had absolutely zero tolerance.
He was drunk within two shots and lost every ounce of consciousness he had ever possessed… Let's just say he started being 'kind-of' nice and 'interested' with Toka.
"Hey woman… wanna sleep with me tonight?" he began garbling. "Nice buttocks you got there." He then pinched them mischievously, relishing in the moment.
Meanwhile, Toka remaining perfectly sober or at least still aware of her surroundings, was utterly horrified—she was way too startled to do anything at present.
"… Come on woman… just this once 'kay?" Izuna accidently slipped on the floor and got up, rubbing his head as he eyed Toka sheepishly.
"Get away from me." Toka shifted uncomfortably. For the first time in her life, she regretted introducing someone to alcohol. Note to self: NEVER do that again, NEVER drink with the Uchiha's.
The doorbell rang.
"Where's Tobi, I wanna play with him!"
A squeaky little voice she knew only too well.
Why is Kami-sama so cruel to me? Toka lamented miserably.
"Go away, he's not here," she remonstrated poor Kagami flatly.
Of course, disregarding "the scary woman's" words entirely, the kid had resolved to climb through the window.
"Hey kid." A drunken Izuna stumbled all the way across the living room carelessly colliding and knocking over his furniture. "Get out, me and her are about to have sex…"
"Huh?" Kagami gazed innocently at the two; his big bright eyes glimmered with curiosity. "What's sex?"
"Sex is…" Izuna paused and contemplated on his choice of words, he drowsily pulled out a kunai and a shuriken. "Sex is when the tip of the kunai goes through the hole of the shuriken, apply this to shinobis and kunoichis and there you have it."
Holy shit… Toka wanted to dig a whole in the ground and stuff her head through it.
Fortunately, someone else decided to knock on the door, allowing Toka to withdraw from the awkwardness and embarrassing scene surrounding the living room.
"Hi." It was someone she hadn't seen before, judging from her looks, probably from the Uchiha clan as well.
"Er… hi," Toka wanted to draw her attention away from a drunken Izuna and a confused Kagami. "Do you want something?"
"Actually I'm looking for Kagami, his mother asked me to babysit him… Except he ran all the way to your house, claiming that he wants to 'Find Tobi'," she explained to Toka in the most understandable way she could think of.
"He's in the living room."
"Hey Naori! Could you please take the kid away, me and Toka are about to have sex…" Izuna mumbled through his inebriated state.
"Huh?" She blinked repeatedly. It was a well-known fact that Toka Senju and Izuna Uchiha were the unhappiest couple in the village; as a result, it is doubtless, a surprise to Naori, hearing that they were going to 'have sex'. "Pardon me. Did I hear something wrong?"
"Just please, leave. He's drunk. Ignore him." Toka could have sworn she tried to commit suicide as the two of them left.