A/N: Thank you for your reviews. You guys rock!
SMeyer owns all Twilight characters. No copyright infringement intended.
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10.
The next morning, Alice and I were drinking coffee and sorting through a large box of photos that Esme had left on my front porch as promised. I was surprised that they were in such a mess because Esme Cullen appeared to be one of the most organized women I'd ever met, but I supposed everyone had their "junk drawer" somewhere. Hers just happened to be photos in a large cardboard box.
I'd gone to my gynecologist appointment earlier that morning and was the proud owner of a new IUD. As far as I was concerned, all systems were go for Edward and me the next night, and I was quite excited at the possibilities. I also knew that I wanted to shower and change before my appointment at the Platte house, so I was in a hurry to sort through the pictures and get upstairs to take care of things.
"Wow. I know what you can do for her for Christmas or her birthday. You could organize these and put them in photo albums or something," Alice suggested as we sorted through them, looking for pictures of Edward's grandmother's house.
"Yeah, that's a good idea. I'll talk to Edward about it. He probably knows who the people are in the pictures and would be able to help me make some sense of it all," I responded. Jax was with Rosalie for a couple of hours to give us the opportunity to have some time to work, and I was grateful for the quiet.
I rose from the table and poured us each a refill of coffee and grabbed another stack of photos. As I was leafing through pictures of Edward as a child, noting how adorable he was, I heard Alice gasp. "Who is this?" she asked as she handed me a picture.
I looked at it, and it didn't take much time for me to figure it out. It was Edward holding a small baby with a beautiful brunette woman in a hospital bed next to him. The smiles on their faces told the story of their happiness, so there was no mistaking who it was. "That must be Gianna, Edward's girlfriend, and Chelsea, his daughter," I answered as I studied the picture. The woman looked familiar, but not much so. I knew I'd never had the occasion to run into her, but I couldn't shake the feeling. The baby was adorable.
"Daughter? Edward has a daughter?" Alice gasped. Apparently, she didn't know the story. I'd have assumed that it would have come out at some point in time, but obviously by the look of shock on her face, it hadn't.
"Um, yeah. He was in Italy for two years after undergrad. He met Gianna there and they fell in love. They had a baby, and he was trying to arrange for the two of them to come back to the states with him when they were killed in a car accident," I explained.
I couldn't help but stare at the picture. She was a beautiful woman, and the love on his face was unmistakable. It twisted in my gut because I knew that there were pictures of Jacob and me that had the same looks on our faces, and I knew how much I missed him. I had Jax. I could only imagine how Edward felt for losing both of his loves.
"Oh, here's one where the little girl is older. She was a beautiful baby," Alice announced as she handed me a picture of Edward holding his daughter in one arm with Gianna perched on his lap. There was an older woman standing behind them who looked like Gianna, only older, and the three adults were smiling.
"She really was. His girlfriend was quite beautiful as well. I wonder if that's her mother?" I asked, handing Alice the picture. I leafed through the photos in front of me and found several pictures of Edward with a woman who looked like Esme in a room I recognized was the living room of the house. There was a Christmas tree in the background, and the two were standing in front of it next to the fireplace that I recognized. As I continued to look through the pictures, I found a lot more taken at the Platte house that would be helpful, so I put them aside and pulled out another stack of photos.
"Looks like it could be. The older woman is beautiful as well. I wonder what happened to her after she lost her daughter and her granddaughter. That would be a very difficult thing to get through, I'm sure. How does Edward deal with it?" Alice asked innocently.
"As far as I can really tell, he doesn't, but I'm not one to judge because I can barely get by on my own," I answered as I studied the picture of Edward with the two women. Something was nagging at me about it, but I couldn't put my finger on it. I didn't want to ask Edward what had happened to Gianna's mother, but I decided I would ask Esme if the opportunity presented itself. I slipped the picture into the stack of photos I'd collected of the Platte house in its hay day, determined to figure out why it bothered me.
I looked up at the clock and saw that I needed to shower and change to go out to the site to meet the contractor and architect, and I was very excited. Alice was going with me, but of course, she was already dressed in a cute sweater and a skirt. She was a lot more on the ball than me, not surprisingly.
"I'm going to go shower. Rose and Jax should be back soon, and Edward should be home any minute now to pick Jax up. I'll be back," I announced as I rose from the table and put the pictures into my tote bag.
"Home? Things sound quite cozy between the two of you," Alice teased. I couldn't help but smile.
"Um, can you stay at Jasper's tomorrow night? Jax is staying at Esme's for the night," I requested, feeling the blush rise in my cheeks as visions of the two of us naked rolled through my head like a porno movie. Her laugh behind me was the only thing I heard as I ran upstairs to shower.
During my shower, I thought about the photo, and as I rinsed the conditioner out of my hair, I remembered something that I'd bookmarked on my laptop. It was a picture of Finn Platte with a woman and a young girl in Switzerland.
I quickly finished and wrapped a towel around my hair and then a towel around myself and went to my laptop that was sitting on my nightstand, pulling up a web browser. I pulled up the BBC article I'd bookmarked and looked at the woman again. There was no way…
I quickly dressed in a khaki skirt and white blouse and pulled my wet hair into a low ponytail at the base of my head. I applied a little make-up, slipped on a pair of black flats to make my way downstairs. As I buttoned my blouse, I looked at my wedding band that hung from a chain around my neck and decided that if I was going to truly move forward, it was time to take it off.
I slipped the chain over my head and kissed the ring in my hand, placing it into my jewelry box and praying that Jake would understand. I sighed and closed the lid, and I walked downstairs carrying my laptop to find the picture I'd put aside in my tote.
Just as I was about to pull the photo out of the stack, I heard the doorbell. I went to the door to find Edward, looking very tired, with Jax in his arms. "Sorry, I'm not buying," I teased and pretended to close the door to them.
"MOMMA!" Jax shrieked. I heard Edward laugh, and I pulled the door open for them. He put her down and she ran inside without another word, allowing me to kiss the handsome man standing in my doorway with the most adorable stubble and sleepy smile on his face I'd ever seen.
When we broke apart, I moved aside to allow him in. "How was work?" I asked as he slowly walked into the kitchen and went to the cupboard, pulling down a mug and pouring himself some coffee.
"It was long. I ran into Rosalie just as the two of them got back. What's this?" he asked as he perused the stacks of pictures on the table. Alice was nowhere to be found, and I wasn't exactly ready to address the pictures of he and Gianna in the box, so I quickly began placing the stacks back inside.
Unfortunately, I wasn't fast enough because he picked up a stack that Alice had compiled and saw that they were pictures of Gianna, Chelsea, and him. I could see the pain on his face, and I immediately felt like fucking hell.
"I'm sorry. I was looking for pictures of the Platte house to take with me to the meeting today, and your mom just dropped off the box. I'm sure she didn't even think about exactly what was inside. Gianna was a beautiful woman, Edward. You two looked truly happy," I responded, trying to put him at ease. He'd seen the pictures of Jake and me around my house, and he'd been very sweet about them. I didn't want him to think I'd be any less understanding than he'd been.
"That bitch," he snapped. I looked up quickly, seeing him looking at a picture of Gianna with a couple who I assumed were her parents.
"Look, I'm really sorry. I didn't want you to come home to this. I'm taking the pictures back to your mom's house tonight. Please don't be upset," I pleaded. I wasn't sure what he was talking about, but the anger was written all over his face.
"That's Didi and Marcus, Gianna's parents. They were so shitty to me after the accident. Didi refused to even tell me where they were buried or wait for me to be at the funeral to be able to say good-bye. From what I heard from friends in Italy, Marcus went bankrupt and she divorced him. He couldn't get over the loss of his only daughter and granddaughter, and when the money ran out, so did Didi. I actually feel sorry for him. Gianna was more like her father than her mother, thank God," Edward explained without really acknowledging my presence as he continued to stare at the photo.
I wasn't sure how to proceed. If my gut was right, there was a huge secret that had the potential to change his life that I couldn't not tell him. I decided to broach the subject in an ass-backward way, hoping I didn't piss him off in the process. "Um, Edward, honey, how do you actually know that Gianna and Chelsea are dead? Did you see any proof of it?" I asked. I knew I was trekking through a minefield, and I prayed it didn't blow me up.
His head shot up to look at me, and I could see a flash of anger which looked like disbelief at the fact that I'd asked the question. "Fuck, I don't know? How do you know Jacob was in that box?" he snapped angrily. I knew he didn't mean it to come out the way it had, but it still stung. I grabbed my laptop and pulled up the article and picture from the BBC.
"I know Jake was in that box because I had a death certificate and identification by his CO in Iraq. I had his dog tags and personal effects, and I had my heart ripped out of my chest at the news. Now, how old was that woman when Chelsea was born?" I asked bitterly pointing to Gianna's mother. I didn't mean to snap at him, but I couldn't help it.
"I'm sorry. Your question just caught me off guard. Um, Didi is my mother's age," he responded. That information made my theory plausible.
I turned my laptop toward him and ordered, "Look at this. Is this Didi with your grandfather?"
His first look at me was as if I'd lost my mind. I pointed to the picture, and he flopped into the chair and pulled the laptop closer. His second look at me was one of complete shock. "Fuck. That has to be Didi. Who's that little girl?" he asked. I knew I didn't have to tell him. I was certain he knew exactly who the child was.
"Chelsea? You think that's Chelsea?" he asked. I could see the astonishment on his face.
"I don't know, but it's awfully coincidental that your grandfather is photographed with your girlfriend's mother and they are holding hands with a little girl who appears to be about the age that Chelsea would have been at the time. This picture is approximately eighteen-months old. They were in Switzerland at the time. I found it a few weeks ago, but I wanted to get someone to translate the text of the article for me. Of course, I haven't had time to find someone who speaks French, and I kind of forgot about it until Alice and I started going through the photos today," I explained.
Just then, Jax ran into the room with a backpack on her back and a smile on her face. It immediately fell when Edward didn't acknowledge her. Alice breezed in behind her and noticed that there was a problem. "Um, Jaxie, come on and let's go watch Blue for a few minutes before you, um, yeah," she instructed, grabbing my daughter by the hand and leading her back out of the room.
"Look, I'll take Jax with me to Platte house unless you don't want to pursue the remodel. I can call Peter O'Rourke and cancel," I offered, seeing that he was completely zoned out.
"I, uh, I need to go home. Don't cancel. I just, I need to think. I'll talk to you later," he responded before he rose and walked out of the room. I heard the front door close, and I wondered if that was the moment that I'd lost him.
I knew that if he thought there was a chance that his daughter was alive anywhere on the planet, he'd never stop looking for her, as I would have done in his position. I was pretty certain that he'd be on the next flight to Europe, and I couldn't help the tears. As much as I hoped that he found his daughter alive and well, I was grieving for our loss of him. I was certain he'd never come back to us, and it was just as difficult as when I'd lost Jake.
I sent Alice to meet with Peter O'Rourke, and I took Jax out into the backyard to play in the pool. I had no idea how to tell her that maybe Edward was never coming back to us. I was heartbroken when I lost Jacob. I had no idea how to deal with how Jax would feel if we lost Edward. I wanted to crawl in a hole and die, yet again in my life.
Saturday night came and went, and five more after them. Jax and I were settling into a new routine…emptiness. Edward's clothes were still in my closet, but I'd heard nothing from him since he took off from my house that Friday afternoon.
Emmett told me that he'd taken a leave of absence from his program and he'd gone to Europe. Eric told me that "Momma Bear" was taking a leave of absence from the hospital, and when I drove over to the Cullens' house to return the pictures, the house was closed up. I sat on the front steps and cried for an hour, grateful that Alice had taken Jax to the park.
I rarely slept, and I had no appetite. It wasn't as bad as losing Jacob, but it almost was. At least I knew that Edward was alive somewhere on the planet, though I believed I'd never see him again. I knew in my heart that he had to go look for his daughter. If I'd been in his shoes, I'd have done the same thing, but I'd hoped that I'd at least have sent him a text message that I was fine.
Alice was busy working on the house, but I didn't have the heart to help her. She didn't seem to be in need of my help, so I left her to it. We didn't talk about any of it, and I was glad that she respected my privacy. I was in full-on denial regarding the whole thing, and I didn't know what to do. I'd dug myself out of the hole once before, but being back in it found me without the strength to fight. That wasn't good at all.
"Have you heard from any of them?" my mom asked as she stood in my kitchen making dinner for my birthday. Jax had started pre-school, and it had been another week of hearing nothing from any of the Cullens.
"Nope," I answered as I swirled the wine in my glass. Emmett, Rose and Jasper were supposed to join my parents and Alice to celebrate my twenty-fifth birthday. I was in no mood for celebrating, but my friends and family weren't taking no for an answer.
"Honey, I know it looks bleak, but that boy loves you. I know he'll be back. You just have to have a little faith," Mom assured. I wasn't quite so optimistic.
"Mom, if Chelsea's alive, maybe Gianna is too, and if she is, Edward will never come back. He loved her as much as I loved Jacob, and if I thought there was any way in hell that Jacob was alive somewhere on this earth, I'd spend everything I have to find him. I'd search until my dying day to find him. Edward's never coming back, I just know it. Look, I can't do this. I'm sorry. I'm going to bed," I told her as I walked back upstairs to my bedroom and closed the door. I cried myself to sleep again, but it wasn't restful.
"Bells, long time no see. Where's the red-headed doctor?" Jacob asked. I looked around the room and found myself in the kitchen in Ft. Hood again. The coffee was on the table, and he looked exactly as he had when we were young. I felt like I was fifty-years old, but he looked like the teenager who'd won my heart many years ago.
"I honestly don't know. There's a chance his daughter might be alive somewhere and he went to look for her. I can't blame him at all, but my heart is breaking," I responded. I picked up the cup of coffee and took a sip, not tasting it at all.
"So, you're going to go all the way back to this? Do you realize that if you keep going down this road, there may come a point in time when you can't stop it? You don't want to die alone, do you?" he asked. Of course, he was right.
"NO! I don't want to die alone. I didn't think I would when Edward came along, but it seems that I'm destined to be alone. Why does this keep happening to me?" I asked. I felt the tears streaming down my face, and I didn't give a damn.
"Honey, I know it looks bleak right now, but have a little faith. He still loves you, you know. The love that you two have doesn't just go away. Look, this is a one-time deal because I'm not going to let you do this to yourself again. It was hard enough back in August for you to let go of me, and I don't want that to happen again, so I'm going to tell you this and then I'm out.
"Give the man a chance to do what he needs to do, and give him the benefit of the doubt. Get your ass involved in the remodel of his house, and find that optimism that you had after you let me go. Don't lose it, Bella. Jax needs you. She wasn't old enough to be aware of how sad you were when you were mourning me, but she's missing Cullen as much as you are. You need to be there for our daughter," Jacob instructed. He rose from the chair and walked out, leaving me sitting in the kitchen alone.
I jolted awake and looked at the clock seeing it was nearly 7:00 AM. I got up, showered, and went downstairs to the kitchen, turning on the radio and beginning breakfast. I had to carry on for my daughter. She was missing Edward as much as I was, and it was my job to take care of her.
Once again, I didn't have the luxury to wallow in misery. I had a little girl who needed me, and I would be there for her. I could push my aching heart down and feign happiness for her. It was my job as her mother. I wouldn't fail my daughter, and I prayed that Edward found his.
"Baa, baa Blacksheep. I'm here to rake the leaves," Emmett sang as he stood on my front porch that October morning. I hadn't heard from the Cullens, but from what I understood, Esme had called and taken another month's leave. I truly hoped they were all okay.
"You don't have to do that. I can rake my own leaves," I answered as I let him in the house that morning. Jax was finishing breakfast, and I'd noticed that Rosalie seemed to be very busy of late, so I was certain that Emmett was at my house to exchange raking my leaves for breakfast. It didn't escape my notice that his eyes lit up as he noticed the pancakes on my abandoned plate.
I'd been working with Alice at Edward's house, and the construction was moving along quite nicely. We'd knocked the wall out between the kitchen and the family room, and widened the doorway between the dining room and kitchen to open up the space. The upstairs room that appeared to be a nursery was absorbed into one of the master suites. It opened up the bedroom, and it allowed for a large walk-in closet. The small room couldn't really be considered a bedroom, but the design of the house suggested that the room was off the bedroom that Liz probably used, and the other master was probably Finn's.
We made one of the five remaining bedrooms into a den, and we remodeled the guest bath to include a soaking tub and a separate shower. I was sure if Edward didn't want to live in the house, it would sell for a very good price because it was like a dream home.
"Breakfast?" I asked Emmett. Without waiting for an answer, I went to the griddle and poured batter onto it to make him some blueberry pancakes. He didn't protest at all, scooping Jax up from her booster and plopping her on his lap.
"So, have you heard from him? Simmons, for whatever reason, is holding his slot until Christmas, but if he doesn't come back by then, he's out. I don't know if he can get into another program if he blows this one," Emmett announced without saying his name, for which I was grateful.
I didn't want to remind Jax of Edward. She'd asked me too many times where he was and my answer was that I didn't know which always made her sad. We were just getting to the point where she was beginning to be herself again, and I didn't want a setback. She'd actually started wetting the bed again, and it had been a lot of work to get her out of that funk. Things were just starting to get better.
"Nope. Not a word. Can we not, uh, talk about him? She doesn't understand, and she misses him very much. It's just getting back to normal, sort of. She asks about him every day, and I don't know what to tell her," I answered as I flipped the pancakes onto a plate and handed it to him. I poured him a glass of orange juice and settled at the table across from him.
"Hey, Little Blacksheep, go put on some warm clothes and shoes and come outside and help me rake leaves. We can jump in them before we bag 'em," Emmett instructed. She smiled and jumped from his lap and she was off. As soon as she was out of the room, I saw Emmett take a sip of coffee and heard him clear his throat.
"Listen to me, Bella. I've known Cullen for a long time, and I know what he's doing, but I also know how he feels about you. Don't give up on him. He needed to go find out if that girl in the picture was his daughter, and he's going to come home. I'm not agreeing with the way he went about things, but I know he loves you. Don't write him off just yet, okay? I've seen you come a long way from the girl who moved in here, and I know you two are good for each other. You have to find your way out of the shit you're dealing with right now, and allow him his time as well. He never dealt with Gianna's death, much less dealt with losing his little girl, and if there's a chance in hell that Chelsea is still alive, he'll search the world over for her. I'm not saying wait for him, but please don't hate him for it," Emmett explained.
I couldn't ever hate him for it, because if I was in his shoes, I'd do the same fucking thing. I'd have appreciated a phone call, but maybe he just couldn't concentrate on anything other than finding his daughter. I could appreciate that because I'd be exactly the same way. "Look, I get it, but I wish he'd at least call or something. I just want to know he's okay," I answered. I rose from the table and began cleaning the kitchen without another word.
"Momma, Memmett. Redward's on TV," Jax yelled from the living room. We both scrambled to the living room and there he was on television with Carlisle and Esme. I turned up the volume and was shocked.
"American citizen, Dr. Edward Cullen, is fighting for custody of his daughter in the Italian courts. Papers filed in the custody case reveal that Dr. Cullen was led to believe…" the newscaster went on to explain the story. I was shocked that he'd found her. There were reporters everywhere, and he looked so distraught. The pain in his eyes was evident, and I couldn't help but cry at the sight of him.
Alice came crashing in through the front door with Jasper in tow. Apparently, they'd already heard the news. "Bella, you need to go to Italy," she called. I looked at her in disbelief. I didn't even have a passport, forget about the money. I also had a very important person who was my responsibility…my daughter. I couldn't just go jetting off to Italy to be with a man who I wasn't even sure had feelings for me anymore.
"I can't go to Italy. I've got Jax, and I don't have a passport," I responded incredulously. I couldn't just pick up and take off to Italy, could I?
"I can get you a passport by Monday. Alice and I will take care of Jax. I've got some time off, and when Alice needs to be out at the building site, I'll take Jax with me to hang out. You need to go," Jasper announced.
"I'll watch the house, and I'll get you a ticket. Go. He needs all the support he can get. Look at him," Emmett announced pointing toward the television at the repeat of the footage of Edward and his parents wading through a sea of cameras.
"Wait. If Chelsea is alive, how do we know that Gianna isn't as well? I don't even know that he still has feelings for me, and if Gianna's still alive, I'm sure I'm the last person he'd want there," I replied. It was a distinct possibility in my opinion.
"If Gianna was alive and they were on good terms, he wouldn't be fighting for custody of his daughter in a court in Italy. Either she's dead or she's not what he thought she was. It sounds like he's trying to get the Italian courts to allow him to bring his daughter back to the U.S. He needs you, Bella. If you love him, take a leap of faith and go. Go support him like he's supported you," Alice reasoned. She was right. I needed to be there with him, and I wasn't going to think twice about it. For once, I was going to follow my heart and not my common sense.
The reporter signed off that he was in Rome, so that was where I was going to start. I called Esme's service and left a message that it was an emergency and I needed to get in touch with her. An hour later, her secretary called back, and somehow I was able to get her to tell me at which hotel they were staying…the Atlante Garden Hotel near St. Peter's Basilica. I booked my flight to leave on Tuesday at 9:30 AM with a stop in Detroit, of all places. I was set to arrive on Wednesday at 10:00 AM at Da Vinci Airport outside of Rome. When I saw the price, I gulped hard, but I had to do it. There wasn't another choice, in my mind.
As I stood in customs at Da Vinci Airport, I couldn't believe that I was in Italy. It was the first time I'd been anywhere outside the U.S., other than Canada when I was a kid, and I had to keep pinching myself. The past three days had been a whirlwind of activity, and I still couldn't believe it. Esme had called me back after I left a message for her, and she was extremely apologetic regarding the way in which the three of them took off, but she was blissfully happy that I was making the trip. She told me he needed me, but he refused to call me and ask me to come because of Jax and how he'd abruptly left.
She told me that Gianna wasn't alive, but Chelsea was. The story was going to be told to me when I arrived in Italy because it was too incredible to deliver over the phone, so I gave her my flight information and we hung up. I hoped her son was happy to see me because I needed to see him like I needed to breathe.
After I cleared customs, I pulled my suitcase along to find a taxi stand to get to the hotel. I was stunned to see Edward waiting for me outside of security. I couldn't help myself. When I saw him, I ran to him with my suitcase careening in all directions, nearly taking out several people in the process. As soon as I was out of the security exit, I found myself in his arms and I let the tension release from my body the only way I could…I cried. It was what I did best, apparently. Maybe I should have become a professional mourner. God knew, I could cry at the drop of a hat.
"God, I can't believe you came. I thought my mother was lying to me," he whispered as he picked me up when I flung myself into his arms. I didn't know why I hadn't heard from him, and that was something we'd have to talk about, but I was there for him. I was grateful to the fates that he was happy to see me. I'd missed him with all my heart.
"I don't know why you didn't call me, but we'll get to that. I'm here to support you in any way you need me. I love you, you damn fool. I'd have come with you if you'd asked. It wouldn't have killed you to call me, you know," I chastised as he held me aloft.
"I fucked this up so much, but I was so shocked when you showed me that picture that I couldn't even think straight. Come on, let's go," he responded taking my suitcase and pulling me with him. We walked out of the airport and caught a cab. Edward rattled off something in Italian, and the cab driver nodded.
He settled back in the seat next to me and looked at me like he was seeing me for the first time. "You're incredible, do you know that?" he asked. He kissed me gently and touched my cheek so tenderly that it felt like an angel's kiss. I found it hard to maintain my control, but the jostling of the cab reminded me where we were. I'd missed him so much, but I didn't know what he was going through, so to throw him down on the back seat of the cab and strip him down was probably a bad idea.
"You, sir, are a jackass, and I'd love nothing more than to tear you limb from limb, except that I've missed you more than I can even begin to articulate. Jax was inconsolable when you left, and my father would like to string you up by your testicles, save the fact that he understands why you came to Italy. He's not unsupportive of your mission, it's just the fact that you walked out on me without a word and I haven't heard from you for weeks," I explained.
I saw the look of pain on his face, and I felt guilty for putting it there, but he had to understand that we'd grown attached and while his quest was noble, his departure wasn't. He'd just left us without a word, and I had a daughter who loved him as much as I did. He couldn't just pick up and leave without a word unless he was done with us.
"I'm so sorry. I hate that I did it the way I did. I became crazed once I saw that picture. I didn't even really explain things to my parents, I just took off. They followed me because they were worried about me, and we've been all over Europe trying to find them. Finally, Didi came back to Rome to her house, and we were able to find her before the three of them took off to Africa. When Finn found out we were here, he left like the lowdown dog he is. Mom is heartbroken, which is why she didn't come with me today, but we've got Didi in court and she'll have to answer for her behavior. We had to have a DNA test run and that took time, but now I have a leg to stand on, and my chances are good," he responded.
"I'm happy for you, really I am. I'm only staying for three days. I just wanted to come and support you, but I have to get back to Jax. She saw you on television and she's having a hard time dealing with the fact that you're gone. I almost didn't come, but Alice convinced me that you needed me, and after I talked to Esme, I couldn't not come.
"I'm here to support you in this, but when I leave on Friday, don't contact us again. I can't put my daughter through this again, Edward. She's too attached to you, and I can't stand to see her hurting. I'm a big girl and I can handle it, but my three-and-a-half year old can't. You were the closest thing to a father that Jax has ever had in her life, and when you left us the way in which you did, it broke her heart. I can't have that again," I explained. I didn't want to make him feel guilty, but I guessed that I was. He had to understand that he left us with nothing, and my daughter, by my own fault, had gotten attached.
"Bella, fuck, I'm so sorry. I never, ever meant to hurt you or Jax. I love her and I love you. I know I was wrong, but please, please, let me try to make it right. I've gotten to spend time with my daughter, and trust me when I say she and Jax will get along very well. They're a lot alike. Lots of energy and quite happy. I know how much I fucked up, but I'll do everything I can to make it up to both of you. I need you both in my life. I've missed you two so damn much. I know I should have called you, and I should have let you know what I was doing. I know that, but at the time, I just couldn't think about anything except finding her. I don't know if you can understand any of it, but that's all I can offer by way of an excuse," he responded. By then we pulled up in front of the hotel, and he paid the cab.
The doorman opened the door, and I climbed out. After retrieving my suitcase, I went to the desk to check in. "You don't need a room. You can stay with me," he determined. I knew better than to let that happen. Edward and I alone in his hotel room was a bad mix. I was there as a friend and nothing more, and if I stayed with him in his room, he'd get the wrong idea. I wasn't going to let anything more happen between us than just being friends because I wasn't about to bury myself under the covers again.
"No. I have my own room. I'm here as your friend, Edward. We're friends, and I'm staying in my own room. When you left us and didn't call, that completely decimated the romantic relationship we were trying to build. I'll never let that happen again, but I can be your friend," I announced as I slid my rarely-used credit card across the desk to the clerk. After it was processed, a keycard was handed to me and I proceeded to the elevators to go to my room to shower and change clothes. I didn't know exactly what the day would hold, but I knew I needed a shower. It had been a long flight.
"Look, I need to call Alice and check on my daughter. It's nearly 9:00 PM in Seattle. I'm going to shower and take a nap. When do you have to be in court?" I asked.
"Tomorrow at 9:00 AM," he responded.
"Fine. I'll meet you in the lobby at 7:30 for breakfast. Thank you for meeting me at the airport. I'll see you in the morning," I responded as I pulled my suitcase toward the elevators. I knew that once I was in my room, the tears would come, and I was actually looking forward to it because my chest was aching for the release.
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E/N: Please let me know what you think. I'm sure you've all got a lot to say on the matter… One word, friends…faith.
Till next time…xoxo