AN: So this is a side story to my main story "Safety in Numbers." All of my OCs are from that story and I would recommend reading it before you read this so you aren't confused. This is a total crack-fic I came up with when I was writing SIN (lol, totally didn't realize the acronym was that until now XD). This will most likely be in two or three parts. I don't own Transformers and any of the music, movies, or locations described herein. Now that the boring part is over, on with the story! ^.^
Optimus woke from his recharge nap to a bunch of his friends' holoforms as well as Savannah and Lily surrounding him. "Primus! What are you trying to do, give me a spark attack?"
Ratchet scoffed. "Hardly. Optimus, we have something we need to say to you."
Optimus's eyes widened. "The Decepticons aren't attacking, are they?" he asked as he bolted up in the bed. "Why are you all hovering around me when there's a breach in security?"
Everyone exchanged awkward glances above the Autobot leader. "We've been talking, and we decided that we needed to tell you something," Savannah finally said. "Optimus, you've been working too hard. You need a day off from all of this war stuff."
"I can't take a day off," Optimus said. "You must be joking. Who will lead the cause?"
Prowl's holoform, a clean-cut man with high cheekbones and black hair, stepped forward. "With all due respect, sir, you need a break. If anything goes wrong, I can take care of it."
"If you must," Perceptor said, "think of it as gathering research. Savannah plans to take all of us to one of her sorority's parties. We will encounter all sorts of people there and be able to interact with the young adults of this society."
Looking all around him at the eager faces, the Prime sighed. "All right. I will go with you. What time does this party start?" Savannah looked at her the watch on her wrist.
"At seven PM, so I guess half an hour?
"I would suggest that you change your holoform into a spiffy outfit," Perceptor said. "Savannah has told me that it will be casual, but you want to look good."
Savannah laughed. "It's just a party, Percy," she said. "It isn't a secret agent operation or anything. Relax. It's supposed to be fun. Now out, all of you. We have to get ready to go." The holoforms disappeared one by one and left the girls alone to change into outfits for the party.
They emerged from the dorm rooms, Savannah in a blue dress and Lily in a green one, and walked towards what had been designated the holoforms' tree. They met them wearing some of the oddest outfits either of the girls had seen. The one that really took the cake, however, was Red Alert's. He wore red and yellow striped skinny jeans with a pink nightdress, a black and orange boa, and a rather large sombrero. Both girls looked at each other before bursting into giggles. "Red Alert," Lily finally said, "do you realize that your holoform is male?"
"Of course I do," he replied. "Why?"
"It's just...oh, never mind," Lily said, realizing that it wasn't worth the battle.
"If you are wondering about my outfit, I chose it so that it would have the maximum protection in the event of a Decepticon attack," the director of security said.
"How does the boa factor into that?" Lily asked. "You do realize that in the case of an attack, they could just strangle you with the boa. Right?"
The Security Director stared at her with an open mouth, horrified. "Oh no. I didn't think of that," he exclaimed. The boa disappeared at once.
"Let's go," Ultra Magnus said. "Come along, Optimus." He took his brother's arm in his and began to lead him away from the rest of the group. The Prime turned to him with a tease of a smile at the corner of his lips.
"You do realize that I am your prime," Optimus said, stumbling slightly as he tripped on a tree root alongside the taller man.
"And you are also my brother," Ultra Magnus countered. "Now come with me. I'm not having you lose your sanity because you can't 'let loose,' as the phrase goes on this planet." The group of Autobots and humans reached the sorority house and immediately most of the 'Bot holoforms were overwhelmed. Ultra Magnus stopped in his tracks. "What kind of madness is this place?"
Savannah laughed. "Welcome to college life," she said.
"I would just like to remind everyone that as your physician you will answer to me, so be careful of what you do," Ratchet said, a warning tone in his voice. "You may eat and drink, but remember that if you do anything stupid it will be up to you to rectify the situation. If you get what the humans call a 'hangover,' then you will not come whining to me. Compute?" The others agreed with him.
The party was in full swing by the time they arrived. Sideswipe promptly excused himself to go play beer pong with several of the frat boys in the game room, and the others dispersed at will. By around 8:30 PM, everyone minus Optimus, Prowl, Red Alert, and Lily and Savannah had a liberal amount of alcohol in their holoforms. Perceptor found his way into the kitchen and began to explore all of the cabinets. "Hey," a frat boy slurred near the Autobot's holoform, "what are you looking for in there?"
"Nothing in particular," Perceptor replied. "Just looking around. You keep some most curious things in here." He pulled a sock out of the pantry. "I thought this was an article of clothing dedicated to protecting your feet from the elements?"
"You sure talk funny," the frat boy said. Perceptor rolled his eyes and huffed. He almost spoke his mind to the frat boy, but something in the very back of the pantry caught his eye and he dragged it off the shelf.
"Oh good, you have baking soda," he said. "I am most intregued by its properties. It's a curious substance, sodium bicarbonate." He spied something else in the pantry and dragged it out as well, setting the two items on the counter and pulling out an empty soda bottle. He poured the contents into the bottle and waited.
Looking at Sideswipe approaching the karaoke machine, Savannah whispered to Lily, "This cannot be good."
"You're telling me," Lily replied. She cringed when Sideswipe attempted to sing the song "Somebody to Love" by Queen. Several of the others in the room covered their ears with their hands. "Oh Lord, he's terrible. How can anybody sing so off-key?"
"I can't hear you over the sound of him failing so horribly," Savannah said to her, her face scrunched up in distaste. "Someone save me from this."
Luckily, someone did save them, or rather, something. A giant soda bottle leaked a white frothing substance as it shot across the room and hit Sideswipe right between the eyes. He fell onto his posterior. "Who did this?" Ratchet bellowed. Everyone looked around for the perpetrator as Red Alert's holoform began to spark.
"We're under attack!" he exclaimed. "Hide yourselves! Alert, alert!" He ducked underneath an end table, curling up into a small ball and quivering. Everyone stared at the security director and Inferno finally gathered his wits about him and walked to the paranoid holoform.
"Red, hey Red Alert," he said, laying a hand on his friend. "It's me, Inferno. It's okay. There isn't an attack."
"You don't know that! For all we know the Decep-" Inferno covered Red Alert's mouth with his hand.
"Sorry about that, folks," Perceptor finally called from the kitchen, sheepish. "I had no idea it would do that."
Inferno looked at his friend. "It's just Percy," he told him. "Some odd experiment. You can come out now. We'll keep you safe." The director emerged a moment later as Inferno offered a hand for him to take. "Now what do you say about some karaoke? It will be fun."
"O-okay," the paranoid Autobot said, and the two began to sing "Don't Go Breaking My Heart."
Savannah groaned as she talked to Sunstreaker. "Will the cheesy songs ever end?" she asked.
"I think that everybody knows it now," the twin quipped. "I knew it was coming. They always were close."
Meanwhile the Autobot leader was in a den surrounded by Ironhide and several girls ogling their figures, watching High School Musical. Optimus turned to one girl. "This movie seems rather...odd. Is every high school in the United States like this? It doesn't seem like many people would burst into song like that."
The girl giggled. "You're so funny," she said, nudging his shoulder. "No, silly. This is a musical. It's supposed to be like that. No one actually does that in real life. It would be fun, though." She turned when she heard a sniffling on the other side of her. "Are you all right, Ireland?"
Ironhide's holoform looked up at her with tears forming at the corner of his eyes. "I am fine," he said. "This movie is so beautiful though." The girls tittered at his newfound sensitivity. "I'm so happy Troy and Gabriella got together. They deserved it." Optimus looked at his weaopons specialist in amusement.
"I never took you for the sensitive type, Ireland," he said.
The holoform roughened up immediately. "And you never will," he replied, firm. "What you saw never leaves this room."
"If you say so." The teasing light in Optimus's eyes told everyone that he would tell someone anyway. "What do you say we get some punch?" Ironhide stood alongside a gaggle of girls who nearly tripped over their own feet to leave with them. They bumped into Sideswipe on the way to the kitchen. He carried several rolls of toilet paper, three cans of silly string, and what appeared to be a large bucket of red paint. "And just what are you doing, Sides?" the leader asked.
Sideswipe gained a guilty expression. "Don't tell anyone," he said, "but don't go near the bathroom in here, all right? It's a surprise."
"I don't think I want to know," Ironhide said as he shook his head. "I just don't want to know."