((Yes, there's another chapter. No the next one isn't going to take that long.

Chapter heading is from the R.E.M. song So Fast, So Numb.))

Chapter 12

Moving Through Rough Waters

They had buried Denser in a small forest just outside the city. Erienne had chosen that place as opposed to a public burial ground, arguing that he would have preferred it to a graveyard that had a greater chance of being plundered by necrophages.

Now they were back in their inn, all quiet and subdued, but none more so than Sirendor Larn. Ilkar found it rather worrying that so far he hadn't said a word, had watched Erienne in silence and looked away when looked at. Only when he, Hirad, The Unknown, and Sirendor were the only ones left in the guest room, Ilkar decided he had to ask. 'What's the matter, Sirendor?'

For a moment, the other man didn't react at all. Then he levelled his gaze directly at the elf and sighed. 'I … know what you faced. After I died. I heard what the things that killed Will were like. What those that Xetesk brought upon Balaia were like. I heard how Will died and thought he was a coward.' He swallowed. 'When we were in those catacombs, he froze. I dragged him away. But in the end, he was clearer than I was. Without him, we would all three be dead now because he opened that door for us. I wouldn't have had the sense to do so much as pull a door inwards, if you know what I mean. I freaked out completely. In all honesty, I'm surprised I didn't wet myself. The sounds and the stench of that thing … Gods falling.'

'We've all had our moments of shock,' Hirad said quietly. 'Remember what I was like after I ran into Sha-Khan? You'll be fine.'

'Tell me, Hirad,' Sirendor answered. 'Did you ever expect having to fight a dragon?'

Ilkar thought he knew where this was going, and so, apparently, did The Unknown, who raised a hand, interrupting the others effectively. 'Hold on. Let's skip the part where Hirad is clueless and you dance around the subject before spilling what you really think. Say it.'

Sirendor looked at him squarely. 'I'm sorry. I can't … fight something like that, and from what Regis and Thaler said, there's worse out there.'

'You fought the Garonin.'

'Yes.' Sirendor's voice was weary. 'I fought the Garonin. But it's not like I had much choice. Now … Look. You'll have to move on eventually. I highly doubt you can solve this entire mess from here. I'll stay and see what I can do. Clear my head a bit, think about all this. I'm not saying I'll go for good, but right now … I really, really can't see myself fighting something that is so absolutely not human.'

The Unknown sighed but nodded. 'You'll stay here? Wait for us and decide until we meet again?'

Sirendor grinned. 'Not that anyone knows when you're leaving, but yes. I'll wait.'

'Good.' He frowned. 'I need to talk to Will tomorrow.'

Ilkar stood abruptly. 'Now wait a minute …'

'I just want him to be clear about what he'll face. If you don't trust me to be civil, come with me.'

'Of course I trust you.' Ilkar realised how hurt he sounded, but so had The Unknown. 'I apologise. I know you better.'

The tall warrior smiled vaguely. 'We're all under stress. Don't worry about it.'

Ϡ

Will dropped to the floor and flexed his arms. Darkness had settled fully now and he was too tired to continue his workout. Gradually, he had started using the excess time they had to get back to what he had been: fast, wiry, and very deadly. He had quite a way to go, but he was definitely determined. A sound caught his attention, something near the house. Without thinking, Will drew the dagger he hid in a boot. He doubted if he could stand against something like the ghoul, but he wouldn't go down without a fight.

Slipping deeper into the shadow, Will considered his chances. Fleeing was out of question. In the catacombs, whatever had been there would have caught them eventually. Out in the open, he wasn't any safer without a clue what your average monster could do. The top of a tree could be the perfect shelter or a death trap. He was also sure that hiding in the dark wouldn't help. These things would probably be able to sniff him out.

Whatever it was, it wasn't trying to be quiet, nor did the steps sound purposeful. Will's heart was pounding like a sledgehammer. He considered making a break for the entrance to the inn – which meant running past it, through the vegetation between the building and the fence that could easily trip a person during the day. At night, he would almost certainly fall. If only Thraun was there …

But the shapechanger was probably already asleep. Resolve so strong it hurt formed in Will's mind. He was not going to die. He was not going to inflict that pain on Thraun again. Not now. Not ever. Swallowing past his fear, he tried to see into the night. Something was moving towards him, still unhurriedly, but they would get to him. He could call out. If this was not an enemy of whatever sort, he would save him and them trouble. If it was a human wanting his blood for whatever reason, he would draw attention to himself. If it was a monster, it might make little difference but prompt the thing to strike.

Will backed into the corkscrew hazel behind him. Its branches would hide him quite effectively while letting him watch. Whoever was approaching was tall. They stopped suddenly with their back to Will. A thin cloak hid much of the figure, making it difficult to tell anything, but by the size it had to be a man. Somehow he doubted that many monsters wore clothes, so he dared to believe this was a human. He moved closer, cautiously, ready to bolt. He stopped within an arm's reach and placed the point of his dagger against the other's side. The figure stiffened at the contact and had the sense not to move.

'Turn slowly or I'll cut you open,' Will said quietly.

The other relaxed. 'It's me, Will.' The voice of The Unknown had never been so welcome.

Will sighed with relief. 'I thought you're a monster.'

'Well, in that light, I can't blame you. What were you doing out here?'

'Training. What's your excuse?' The Unknown brushed the cowl of his cloak from his head and glanced down at him.

'I just wanted to clear my head, but it's good that I found you. Care to sit down with me for a moment?' At this time, the yard was forsaken, the chairs upside down on the tables. The few guests that lingered at the late hour were inside rather than here, where it was still freezing. The snow from the previous days hadn't molten yet, even though none had fallen recently. 'It won't be long,' The Unknown said, reading Will's hesitation correctly.

He nodded and took down one of the chairs. 'Hard lot, the people here. Some were actually sitting outside earlier.'

'Yes. I noticed. Well, to each their own.'

'Unknown, don't get this wrong, but I'm quite sure you didn't mean to discuss the weather. If you want to do that, we can as well do it tomorrow. And inside, by the fireplace.'

The answer was a snort. 'No. Look. Sirendor Larn is leaving.'

Will smiled, but it wasn't an amused look. 'I see.'

'I don't think you do. Will, we've all been debating what to do with you, as I'm sure Thraun told you, but we never … none of us, not I, not Hirad, asked you what you want.' Will opened his mouth to speak and closed it again. Hirad had in fact asked him, but that was hardly the point. 'I want you to be clear about what is happening here. We must be prepared to fight things worse than humans. I have a feeling that what you three unearthed means more monsters, perhaps mutants we don't know the first thing about. Sirendor isn't prepared to do this, just yet. Are you, Will?'

'Can I have your opinion before I speak mine? I would like to hear from you what you think. I've only been told by others so far because you refused to do so much as look at me for a long time.'

'You were ill.' The Unknown shook his head. 'No, you're right. I … really didn't want you anywhere near us, didn't think I could trust you in battle or asleep in a room with you.' He lowered his voice. 'Hirad pointed out to me that if you'd planned to go on a killing spree, you could have done that long ago. He's right, of course. Will … I'll never understand what went wrong with you, but I've decided that you probably can be trusted. You get the benefit of the doubt. Not just because losing you is losing Thraun. I want you with The Raven.'

Will's wry grin transformed into something much warmer. 'Well, then it's simple. I'll stay.'

'I remember too well what Denser's Familiar did to you and what happened with the demons that killed you. I want you to explain to me how you'll cope better now.'

Will leaned back and crossed his legs. 'Well. I … I won't lie to you, Unknown. That thing in the catacombs scared me shitless. But I wasn't the only one.' He frowned. 'Denser's … thing came out of no-where. I wasn't prepared for it, I didn't even know such a thing existed. Had I known, perhaps it wouldn't have been that bad. But we were running already, and then this. And the unending stream of them …

'I know I'm not such a heroic figure as you are. I'm not a fighting machine or a shapechanger or a veteran like Hirad. I kind of stumbled into all this on a job that was fucked up from the start. But I can do it. I know I can.'

The Unknown nodded and stood. 'Then that is enough for me.' He looked him up and down. 'The success of your training is visible already, Will. You'll do fine.'

Will watched as the other man walked back to the inn. 'Unknown,' he called. The warrior turned to look at him, his expression open and genuinely friendly. 'Thank you.'

A small smile played on the solemn face. 'Don't stay out too long. We need you healthy.' He frowned. 'For a moment there, back in Stonewash, I didn't care if you lived or died, as I'm sure you figured out. I am genuinely sorry and glad you recovered.'

Ϡ

Thaler's feelings about Sirendor's decision were clearly mixed. 'It has one advantage,' he said eventually. 'Larn, I'll include you in the payment if you do something for us. Here.'

'What do you want?'

'Keep your ears open and keep me posted on anything that you hear.'

'I can do that. I intend to stay here, at the inn. Work here a bit. They can do with a helping hand.'

Thaler pursed his lips. 'Well. I can't say I don't understand you. Then I suggest … I would even go so far as to say we leave Lan Exeter to you and move on to Pont Vanis. I think my … friend there might be a little more talkative if we show up at his doorstep.'

'Any leads, Thaler? Anything you want me to look into?'

'Ever done anything like that?'

Sirendor shrugged. 'No. But I've done reconnaissance. Plenty of that. That also requires stealth. As long as I can stay well away from monsters, I'm fine. I just like my life. I don't want to have come back to it just to die by the claws and teeth of some corpse-eating thing. If I manage to get myself a fighting chance – fine. But I won't get that by jumping in at the deep end.'

'I tend to agree,' Regis said. 'I would send you to Varilia for training … your hostess of a few nights before. She's excellent with a sword, and she can teach you how to fight monsters.' He looked at the others. 'You're none of you witchers. How do you plan to go against monsters?'

'We've fought our fair share of them and then some, Regis,' The Unknown told him. 'Don't you worry.' He frowned. 'Thaler, when do you intend to leave?'

'We can go in four hours. Either that or in a week.'

'Best go now,' said Sirendor. 'Perhaps those that are left will think you fled. Be less cautious, you know.'

'Speaking of which … you keep your head down. You're on your own and that's not something you've been in a long time. Stay out of trouble.'

'You know me.'

Hirad leaned forwards and glared. 'He's right. We'll split whatever we earn evenly with you, you know that, right?'

Sirendor smiled vaguely. 'Thanks. I'll earn it.'

'That's what I mean. Don't risk your life.' The barbarian looked away. 'I don't want to return to your grave, Larn. I don't think I could face that.'

Sirendor reached out and squeezed Hirad's arm. 'I won't die, Hirad. Look at me. I'll be safe. I promise.'

'You'd better.'

Ϡ

The inn was completely dark when Regis returned from Varilia. He slipped inside soundlessly and locked the door behind him. 'I wondered where you'd gone.'

He nearly jumped. But not quite. 'If you are trying to find out if a vampire can die of shock, you are on a good way.' Shani laughed softly. A light flickered, a candle came to life. He walked over to her. 'Why aren't you sleeping? It's late.'

'I couldn't. Kept thinking and thinking … Erienne isn't doing too well. I … can't compare it, obviously, but I know what it's like to have someone you care about die.' Shani shook her head as if to get rid of the thought. 'Regis … I have a request that might sound odd.'

He sat down next to her. 'Name it.'

'Hold still, please.' He did. Shani reached out to him and pulled his lips apart, holding the candle close enough to see at least something. Unable to help himself, Regis laughed. 'Stop it, hold still.' He grinned, his eye-teeth for once not hidden. 'Thanks,' she said. 'Can you tilt your head back?'

'Ah … Shani, I'd prefer not to be stared at like some oddity.'

One finger tapped against his teeth. 'Well, not sharp enough to accidentally hurt oneself.'

Regis's eyes were locked on hers. 'Still. Be careful.' The vampire asked himself if the fact that they were alone and that she had no means to escape in time tempted him. If he wanted to drink from her, drain her dry perhaps and feel the thrill of her life running down his throat. The thought of her lifeless form made him shudder. No. Not tempting. Frightening, more like.

Misinterpreting his suddenly wide-eyed expression, Shani pulled away. 'That's not … I've never … Oh, I'm sorry, I am being completely tactless.'

Regis pushed his unbidden thoughts away. He wouldn't hurt her. No-one, for that matter, ever again. 'No. You are curious. That's one of the things that are so amazing about you. But the dead of night in the light of a candle isn't the ideal way to do this. My window is to the east, come to me in the early morning, and take as thorough a look at me as you want. How does that sound?'

'You don't need to do this.'

He smiled. 'No. But I think that if you understand what you are facing, you will no longer fear me.' He looked away. 'I don't blame you. What I told you must have been quite a shock. I should have told you much earlier, not in the last possible moment.'

'See … Regis, the thing is, you didn't have to tell me. You could just have … taken what I offered and left. Or waited until after. Or not tell me at all.'

'That would have been even more unfair.'

Soft hands took both of his, their touch gentle and warm and stirring a glimmer of hope he quickly vanquished. 'Perhaps. But understandable. I … am so glad you're alive, I can't even tell you. And I'm glad you trust me and don't hate me.'

'I could never hate you. But I am still a monster.'

'You may be a vampire, but you're not a monster.' Shani let go of him and rose. Walking around his chair behind him, she let her hand brush over his shoulder and back. 'I'll see you in the morning, Regis?'

He heard her insecurity, the nervousness. Quickly, he grasped her hand before it left him. 'Sure. I'll be there.' Still holding her hand, he stood. With a small bow, he let his lips ghost over her hand. 'Good night, my dear friend.' He lowered his voice. 'Be careful what you wish for, Shani. I am more trouble than I'm worth. I may need to run from wherever I settle in the blink of an eye. I will not age perceptibly in your lifetime, I cannot sire children with a human. I am not and never will be human. I need you to be aware of that.' He smiled at her serious expression. 'But not by tomorrow. It seems that I will stick around for a while, and I certainly won't vanish without a warning. Think, Shani, but try not to hurt me.' He didn't say 'again'. He didn't have to.