* I don't own anything except my OC and this story. Bandai Namco owns everything else.*
The Tekken Talk Show
Episode 5
*Inside the studio*
*Five minutes till showtime*
Aleks: *hiding behind a corner with Sweet* This is a terrible idea! Your worse yet!
Sweet: No it ain't! We're just gonna go and steal one of Devil Jin's feathers!
Aleks: By yanking it out?!
Sweet: No duh. How else are we supposed to get it out?
Lars: *walks to her* What are you two doing? More specifically, what is Sweet doing?
Aleks: Miss Genius over here wants to see what would happen if she yanked a feather out of Devil Jin's wings.
Alisa: *walks over* What's all the ruckus here about?
Lars: Sweet wants a feather...
Alisa: That doesn't seem all that terrifying.
Lars: ...from Devil Jin's wings.
Alisa: *walks away* Good luck.
Aleks: I'm gonna go and watch you from a few meters away. *walks away*
Sweet: Wuss! *looks at her target* Let's do this! *runs to Devil Jin's wings and yanks a feather out forcefully*
Devil Jin: *screams and jumps* MOTHERF*KING PIECE OF SH*T!
Jun: Watch your language!
Nina: Must've hurt.
Lee: And I thought Jin used more profanity than Sweet.
Jin: I do!
Devil Jin: WHAT IN THE NAME OF THE DEVIL'S THRONE WAS THAT?!
Anna: That would be the main host.
Sweet: I got it!
Devil Jin: F*ck that hurt.
Aleks: Never in my life had I ever heard a scream like that.
Sweet: Yes you have! From me!
Aleks: Oh yeah! *turns around* Oooh! A feather! *yanks out two feathers from Devil Jin's wings forcefully*
Devil Jin: SON OF A B*TCH! *flies up and hits the roof* F*CK!
Nina: And that would be the co-host.
Jin: I really need to upgrade my use of profanity.
Jun: *whacks his head* More like lessen it!
Devil Jin: Ow!
Xiaoyu: Where is Lucy and Catherine?
Sweet: Catherine is dropping off Miyuki at a daycare. As for Lucy, I don't know where she is.
Kazumi: Why is Miyuki going to a daycare?
Sweet: She feels that this show is getting a bit too violent for Miyuki and there is too much profanity.
*The entire cast looks at Devil Jin, Jin and Kazuya*
Those three: What?
Jun: I'm going to miss Miyuki.
Kazumi: Same here.
Sweet: But, if we tone down our use of swear words, she'll bring her back! Anyways, let's get the show started!
*Opening song plays*
*cameras turn to us*
Sweet: Hello everyone! Welcome to the fifth episode of the Tekken Talk Show!
*the crowd cheers and Pitbull's 'Fun' plays then stops*
Sweet: We have two new characters with us today and we'd like to introduce them to you! First up we have Bryan Fury!
Bryan: *waves to the camera*
Sweet: And the almighty Devil Jin!
Devil Jin: *smirks and waves*
*the female audience cheers loudly*
Sweet: *a producer walks over to Sweet and whispers something into her ear* Oh dear.
The entire cast: What?
Sweet: After Devil Jin smirked and waved, about 84% of teenaged girls around the world have passed out from excessive nose-bleeds or squealed like little girls to the point of nearly destroying their families' eardrums.
Devil Jin: *chuckles* Whoops.
Alisa: It's because some people think he's devilishly handsome.
Aleks: Wonderful pun, Alisa!
Alisa: Thank you.
*A boy with pale pink hair and blue eyes walks through the doors with a scowl on his face*
Lili: Who's that hot little teenaged boy that walked through the door? *starts drooling*
Xiaoyu: *has hearts in her eyes* Yeah...
Asuka: *whistles*
The female audience: *start squealing uncontrollably*
Lars: *covers Alisa's eyes* Don't look.
Alisa: Why not? *slightly lifts his hand*
Lars: Just don't.
Julia: *squeals*
*Catherine walks through the doors and walks to the boy*
The female cast: HE'S YOURS?!
Catherine: What? No! You'll actually be surprised to know who this is.
Sweet: *is busy roaring with laughter*
Aleks: You better reveal who he is!
Sweet: Guys, that's Lucy as a boy!
The entire cast: WHAT?!
Nina: How?!
Sweet: Last night, Lucy decided to destroy my laptop with a hammer cause I wouldn't let her sharpen her sword at three in the morning. *is still laughing* From now on, you can call her Lucas.
Lucas: Oh shut the f*ck up.
Lee: How long will this last?
Lucas: *grits his teeth* Two more episodes.
Jin: That's humiliating ain't it?
Lucas: Yes. Yes it is.
Nina: This is gonna be a bit confusing...
Lucas: Anyways, I brought someone here with me today and we'll get a new person as well.
Alisa: Okay then.
Catherine: I'm gonna get used to this.
Lucas: Guys, meet my older sister. Annalise. *introduces a girl with light brown hair and turquoise eyes*
The entire cast: ANOTHER ONE?!
Sweet: Where did you find her?
Lucas: I found her in the studio's basement!
Sweet: *sighs* Didn't I tell you not to go down there without my permission?
Lucas: Tell that to Aleks! He's the one who made me go down there!
Aleks: Not my fault!
Annalise: *growls angrily*
Lucas: Annalise is my adoptive older sister that I haven't seen in twenty-one years. She used to be a serial killer, but has now been reformed 25%.
The entire cast: (thought: We're all gonna die.)
Anna: Should we be worried that she'll...um...kill us?
Lucas: Nah...unless you piss her off that is.
Lee: Oh dear.
Devil Jin: Doesn't look that all threatening to m-*is put into a headlock by Annalise*
Annalise: Watch your mouth or I'll skin you alive and put your wings on a plaque as a display in my trophy room!
The entire cast: *cowers in fear* T-They r-really are a-alike...
Lars: I think we should reconsider about Annalise...
Annalise: I'll be an executioner if you want... *smirks*
Lucas: ANNALISE!
Annalise: Fine, I'll be the punisher in the Torture Room.
Jin: Sounds good.
Sweet: I think she'll be a prefect fit!
Nina: I don't think she'll last in there.
Lucas: She's been chained to a wall somewhere for twenty-one years and I know for a fact that she can walk through hell without being scared.
Devil Jin: B*tch please. I've done that thousands of times.
Sweet: I ran a marathon there!
Lee: *to Catherine* Is there something that this woman hasn't done?
Catherine: Yes. She hasn't gotten a boyfriend.
Sweet: Don't you start.
Catherine: Not even one. *gets punched into a wall by Sweet*
Sweet: Another rule, nobody gets to make fun of my singleness. Am I clear?
The entire cast: Yes, ma'am.
Lucas: Nobody makes fun of her status. Trust me. It WILL NOT be pretty. I did it.
Sweet: And where did you go?
Lucas: Past Saturn...
The entire cast: She punched you that far?!
Devil Jin: Wow. That host really can't win a boy-*gets a powerful uppercut to the jaw and makes a hole in the roof*
Sweet: *turns to everyone* See?
Aleks: Back to the questions, Sweet! You don't want to get charged with murder!
Sweet: Since when did you have morals?!
Aleks: I dunno know. Now? Anyways, I bought this little gold ball on eBay!
Kazumi: What is it for?
Aleks: To totally trap Jin inside.
Jin: That's not a pokeball, asshat.
Aleks: No it's a masterball!
Lucy: Whose money did you use?
Aleks: I used Jin's credit card.
Jin: WHAT?!
Aleks: Hush child! But before I got said credit card, I drained G Corps.'s money from their bank accounts. They only have $2.01 left.
Kazuya: EXCUSE ME?!
Sweet: You are excused.
Dragunov: *throws Kazuya into the men's washroom*
Aleks: Anyways... I used the cash to buy Jin's house. Along with some other crap.
Jin: Wait. WHY DID YOU BUY MY F*CKING HOUSE?!
Aleks: Because...why not?
Sweet: Guys, shut up for one second. I've got something to tell you all!
Kazuya: You're letting him go? *points to his son*
Sweet: No! We're going on a trip!
Lucas: In our favorite rocket ship!
Sweet: Don't. Anyways, the show has reached over 1000 views and we're dubbing this a grand episode! And Lucas, I've had enough of you. *turns him back into a girl*
Jin: The day you're letting us go?
Catherine: Or did you actually get a boyfriend?
Sweet: DRAGUNOV!
Dragunov: *throws her in the Torture Room*
Nina: She's the first one to be ever thrown there in weeks.
Catherine: *from inside* AND I WON'T BE THE LAST!
Annalise: Be quiet!
Jin: Why am I trapped in this hellhole?
Lars: Now you know how I felt after a year of my employment...
Lucy: Ouch...
Lee: Savage...
Aleks: I think that was rather appropriate.
Sweet: Go get Catherine. She's spent enough time in there.
Lucy: No she hasn't!
Catherine: *yelling from inside* It's actually not scary in here.
*a terrifying roar shakes the entire studio*
Catherine: *screams* GET IT AWAY FROM ME!
Annalise: *yells over the screaming and roaring* Calm down, Catherine! It ain't gonna bite!
Sweet: *gets up and pokes her head inside* CALM THAT THING DOWN! WE'RE DOING A SHOW HERE! *slams the door shut*
Jin: *is hiding behind Jun* WHAT WAS THAT THING?!
*the door to the Torture Room bursts open and a shadow like snake-hybrid slithers out while Annalise struggles to contain it*
Annalise: Hey! Get back in here!
The entire cast: *scream in terror*
Lucy: ANNALISE!
Sweet: MAMA! *jumps so high she reaches the beams of the studio*
Devil Jin: Oh look! It's my pet snake!
*the snake-hybrid roars in his face*
Devil Jin: *flies up and hides behind the beams* T-That is not my pet snake...
Aleks: Cause it's mine!
*the snake hybrid roars at his face*
Aleks: Goodbye! *digs a hole underneath the floor and buries himself under it*
Sweet: COWARD!
Aleks: You have no right!
Jin: Contain that thing already!
Annalise: *kicks the thing back in the Torture Room and kicks out Catherine* I did it!
Lars: Is it gone?
Alisa: Please say it is!
Asuka: That was awesome!
Hwoarang: *looks at his girlfriend* It nearly ripped our heads off!
Jun: Jin, can you please stop hiding behind me?
Jin: Not yet.
Lucy: Do as your mother says!
Jin: At least I have one!
The entire cast: Well damn!
Sweet: *looks away* Ouch...
Aleks: *pokes his head out* SAVAGE!
Catherine: *looks away* Ooh. Bad idea...
Annalise: *slowly slinks back into the Torture Room* I'm just gonna sit this one out...
Lucy: YOU LITTLE SON OF A B*TCH! *tackles him and a cartoonish fight cloud appears*
Shin: I think he's gonna win.
Lars: Pfft. He doesn't stand a chance against a woman's wrath.
Lee: He's got a chance...a very little one.
Jin: *socks Lucy in the face* B*tch!
Lucy: *socks him back in the face* Asshat!
Lars: Insult of the day is 'asshat'...?
Sweet: Dragunov! Go write that down on a whiteboard!
Dragunov: *nods and writes 'asshat' under the heading 'Insult Of The Day'*
Sweet: *to Aleks* Should we stop them?
Aleks: Just a few more minutes.
Jin: *screams* SHE BIT ME!
Shin: *smirks* Where? *fistbumps with Lars*
Lucy: HE BIT ME!
Sweet: Don't flip your lid, Lucy. He's simply just marking you as his.
Alisa: Should we stop them now?
Lucy: DIE! *pulls out her katana*
Catherine: Good god! Stop those two already!
Lucy: *yells at her sister* When did you have morals?!
Catherine: F*ck off, sis!
Kazuya: *smirks* Now that's my son.
Dragunov: *punches him*
Lili: That was so uncalled for.
Kazumi: Indeed.
*Jin grabs Annalise's katana from the ground*
Annalise: Hey!
Jin: *raises it* DIE YOU ORPHAN!
Jun: Jin Kazama! Don't be rude!
Lucy: *punches him in the gut violently* Surprise, motherf*cker!
The entire cast: STOP THEM!
Sweet: *groans* Fine! *grabs them both by their collars*
Lucy: I will rip your head off!
Jin: Your mom and dad wouldn't be happy if you did!
Lucy: Oh you just crossed the line! Come here! *tries to reach over and punch his face*
Sweet: HEY! You two are going in the Timeout Corner! *kicks them into a room*
Lars: *under his breath* They finally got a room...
Alisa: *who heard him* I know...
Jun: *sighs and pulls out a clipboard* Nevermind. It's now been zero days since Jin bit someone.
The entire cast: He bites?!
Kazuya: Damn dog...
Annalise: *grabs a dart gun* Well, it's time for Lucy's rabies shot again.
Aleks: Back to our questions now.
Lucy: *from inside the room* YOU DIE FIRST!
Jin: LIKE HELL I AM! YOU'RE DYING FIRST!
Lee: What exactly is that room?
Sweet and Aleks: The Discipline Room.
Jin: I sacrifice this unfortunate soul!
Lucy: AT LEAST I HAVE ONE!
Devil Jin: She has a point there.
Sweet: *pokes her head inside* The only way I'll make you two morons leave is if you two make up. *slams the door*
Lucy: NO!
Jin: NEVER!
Jun: I want to intervene, but Jin's all grown up now. He knows how to solve problems on his own.
Sweet: *sweatdrops* Or does he?
Jin: You're saying sorry first!
Lucy: Dude! You pointed out that I have no mother!
Lars: No Jun. He knows how to create problems.
Kazuya: That's because he is one.
Sweet: *snickers*
Aleks: *brings out a petrified Lucy who is clinging onto Jin*
Lucy: Holy sh*t...
Jin: Exactly what I was gonna say...
Lars: I don't know why but it's kinda funny that Jin looks scared.
Kazumi: The poor thing is scared half to death!
Kazuya: Did you just refer to your own grandson as a 'thing'?
Lucy: Can you please let go of my leg?
Jin: No...the horror...
Lee: I never thought I'd live long enough to see this...
Sweet: *takes a picture* Can't let that opportunity get away.
Lucy: Let's answer questions now. *kicks Jin into a corner*
Aleks: Lucy, go get that thing you just kicked into the corner.
Lucy: But...
Aleks: No protesting or you get kicked into a corner as well.
Lucy: *grumbles* Fine. *kicks Jin onto the stage*
Jin: Ow!
Jun: *giggles* They're like an old married couple!
Lucy: Actually, on second thought...*kicks Jin off the stage*
Nina: *looks down the stage* You okay down there?
Jin: No...
Sweet: *grabs the question cards out of her pocket* Let's get started then. First few questions are from CarolinaBP!
Asuka: That reader's awesome!
Lars: She's got really good questions too.
Sweet: Okay, guys. Last episode, since Kazuya was being a total asshole to this lovely reader by insulting her, she sent him this envelope containing her regards. *hands him an envelope*
Kazuya: Tch. *opens it and sees a gigantic middle finger directed at him* THE HELL?!
Lars: *bursts out laughing* You deserved that one so badly...
Lee: *does the same thing as his brother* Haha! This is way better than knocking him out!
The entire cast: *are laughing so hard they fall off their chairs*
Jin: My day has been made!
Anna: *snickers*
Sweet: *is pounding the ground while laughing* I-I can't breathe!
Aleks: *falls off the stage while laughing*
*everyone stops laughing for now*
Sweet: *looks down at Aleks* Medic!
Aleks: Real men don't need medics...
Julia: That's what you said last episode. *grabs a first aid kit and jumps down*
Kazumi: Oh dear.
Sweet: Anyways, our first question from her is for Kazuya. Is there anything you like about Jin at all? Maybe the fact that he resembles Jun or, the fact that he's the only child you have?
Kazuya: No. That little sh*t is nothing but a nuisance.
Kazumi: There must be at least something you like about your son.
Kazuya: As I said, nothing.
Lars: *mutters* Unfeeling bastard...
Kazuya: What did you just call me?
Lars: I said you're an unfeeling bastard.
Kazuya: *punches his face*
Lars: Ow! It's the truth though.
Lee: Good point. *gets punched in the face by his oldest brother*
Kazumi: Boys! *glares at them*
Lars: He started it! *points to Kazuya*
Kazuya: F*ck off! *punches Lars in the face again*
Lars: You asshole! *gets into a fight with his older brother and accidentally hits the back of Lee's head*
Lee: Bastard! *joins the fight*
Kazumi: *sighs and facepalms*
Dragunov: *breaks up the fight*
Sweet: *rubs her temples* Why did I choose to host a talk show with all of you?
Lucy: Cause you were bored?
Aleks: She has a point.
Sweet: Be quiet.
Heihachi: *facepalms* Why did I raise three idiots as my sons?
Jin: *sighs* Why can't I have a normal family?
Lars: In Tekken, nothing is normal.
Nina: Especially your relatives, Jin.
Jin: I had nothing to do with this.
Lars: Pfft! You're the reason why the Mishima family is so crazy!
Jin: Don't blame me! It was him! *points to Kazuya*
Kazuya: F*cking liar! It all started with him! *points to his father*
Sweet and Kazumi: Here we go again...
Heihachi: But who was the one that made a deal with the devil? Oh right! It was you, dipsh*t!
Kazuya: No duh cause my own parent threw me down a f*cking volcano!
Kazumi: He kind of has a point there.
Lars: *sweatdrops* This is why I'm glad that I was born in Sweden.
Lee: *grins* Good thing I'm adopted!
Lucy: Thank goodness I was raised with morals.
Catherine: Liar! You were a f*cking ASSASSIN! You had no morals!
Lucy: And whose fault was that?!
Catherine: You, moron!
Sweet: So begins the cat fight...
Lucy: Actually, it's Aleks's fault cause he didn't think about raising me!
Aleks: *throws down a potato* Don't drag me and my potato into this argument!
Lucy: Why did they even think about choosing you to raise me?!
Aleks: They said I'd make a suitable parent!
Annalise: *storms out of the Torture Room* BULLSH*T!
The entire cast: AHHH!
Annalise: Whoops. Forgot to wipe the scary face paint off again. *quickly wipes the paint off her face* Anyways, I call bullsh*t on Aleks's excuse!
Julia: *sweatdrops* Who wouldn't?
Sweet: I will admit, Aleks. Your procrastination got Lucy into this mess.
Aleks: I DIDN'T DO ANYTHING!
Lucy: That's exactly what you did in the first place!
Aleks: WELL, WHO WAS THE GENIUS THAT DECIDED TO PUT GOD EATER 2: RAGE BURST IN MY OFFICE?! THAT'S RIGHT! IT WAS ANNALISE!
Annalise: Bullsh*t! I was chained to a wall, asshat!
Jin: *sighs* That's gonna be the main insult for this show, right?
Asuka: *facepalms* Oh my god...
Aleks: Then it was Catherine!
Catherine: I didn't know you even existed until the first episode of this show!
Aleks: Then it was Lucy!
Lucy: You idiot! I never even came close to seeing your eyelashes when I was younger!
Catherine: Seriously? Eyelashes?
Lucy: Be quiet, doll!
Catherine: *knocks her out* Call me that one more time...
Sweet: Then whose fault was it?!
Lars: *looks away*
Alisa: Lars?
Lars: What?
Xiaoyu: Did you leave God Eater 2: Rage Burst on Aleks's desk?
Lars: I played the game, but never would I let someone borrow it.
Jin: This will be the riskiest thing I've ever said, but I'm the one who left it on his desk.
The entire cast: Serioulsy?!
Jin: What? It was such a good game!
Lucy: YOU PIECE OF SH*T! *tackles him and starts another fight*
Shin: Should we just call it fight night instead of a talk show?
Sweet: Nah. That's what Tekken's for!
Lars: Jin's got a way with the ladies, doesn't he?
Sweet: *sighs* Next thing you know, someone's gonna be walking Lucy down the aisle to him.
*the fight stops immediately and both members move far away from one another*
Lucy: Get me a restraining order!
Jin: What's the point of getting one when we always end up close to one another?!
Jun: *raises her eyebrows* Really now?
Asuka: Quite a bold thing to admit, Jin.
Jin: *blushes and hides his face* Not in that way!
Shin: Oh my god! You're making it worse!
Catherine: Ew...
Kazuya: *facepalms* Keep those details to yourself, please. We would very much appreciate you keeping your mouth shut.
Jun: *smacks his arm* Don't be rude to our son!
Sweet: *eyes widen* She admitted it!
Nina: She actually acknowledged him as Jin's dad!
Lars: A historical moment indeed.
Lee: Does that mean they're getting married soon?
The audience and cast: HECK YEAH!
Jin: HELL NO!
Alisa: *sweatdrops* Of course...
Kazumi: But...more grandchildren!
Sweet: That's what Jun wants from those two! *points to Lucy and Jin*
Jun: Indeed!
Lucy and Jin: *blushes furiously* No! God no! Just no!
Catherine: How come your faces don't agree with you?
Sweet: Guys, relax. They still need more time before true love can blossom! In other words, Dragunov!
*Dragunov approaches her*
Sweet: Grab my bow and arrows. I'm tired of waiting.
Dragunov: *nods*
Anna: You'll actually shoot an arrow at them?
Sweet: If Cupid ain't gonna do anything, I'll just take up the job myself! Anyways, onto question number two!
The entire cast: Finally!
Sweet: We couldn't move on cause none of you would shut up for a damn second!
Nina: Blame Jin!
Jin: Oh hell no! Don't blame this on me! Pick on Orphan for once! *points to Lucy*
Lucy: *mutters* I swear to hell and back that I'll slice you into pieces!
Devil Jin: Wanna make a bet?
Sweet: Anyways, CarolinaBP's next question is for the entire Kazama family. Including you Kazuya.
Kazuya: Ugh.
Sweet: Pardon my language but this what her question literally says 'Why the f*ck is Asuka so similar to them?'
Lars: I still am going with the fact that she's Jin's sister. I swear to god cause they are too f*cking alike.
Everyone else except Asuka: I agree.
Jun: *sighs* Well, I guess it's time I told the truth.
Nina: You're actually married to Kazuya?!
Jun: I'm sorry to say but...no.
Lee: But, you could've lost the ring! It could still be here somewhere! You two probably got married secretly!
Kazuya: No we didn't, asshat. I don't have a goddamn ring on my finger and she doesn't.
Jun: I don't have a marriage license with both our names on it. Even ask Jin!
The entire studio: Is it true?!
Everyone around the world: (Thought: Don't say yes! Just don't say yes!)
Jin: *smiles* Yep!
*everyone falls to the floor*
Sweet: Hear that? That's the sound of the fandom's anguish.
Jin: I've never been so happy in my entire life after I found that out!
Jun: I'm sorry but, we never did marry.
Kazumi: But...you two are the main ships of the entire series!
Lee: I didn't put two millions dollars worth of wedding decorations in my storage just to hear that!
Aleks: *rises from the ground slowly* There is no- *gets his head stepped on by Sweet's foot*
Sweet: There is still hope! They shall get married!
Jin: Not while I'm around!
Nina: *right hooks him* Be quiet, demon-spawn!
Devil Jin: Hey!
Jun: Anyways, Asuka is indeed my daughter.
The entire cast: Another mystery solved!
Shin: Now, all we just need to figure out is how, in the goddamn sense of logic, does their hairstyle stay! *points to the entire Mishima and Kazama family* Jun's is okay though.
Sweet: *narrows her eyes* Thanks for reminding me, Shin. Dragunov! I need you to go and fill up around twenty buckets of water!
Dragunov: *nods and walks off*
Aleks: *sneaks up behind Lars and tries to smooth his hair down* I'm gonna do it!
Lars: No. *punches him in the face and knocks him out*
Sweet: That's the thirty-seventh time he was knocked out this week while I'm around. About six of those knockouts were from me. Anyways, question three! Kazumi! You got a question from BlitzRick3!
Kazumi: Alrighty then.
Sweet:How did you lose you Heihachi in a fight when you were using all your strength and devil gene power to the point that it consumes you to defend Kazuya? I know he's a Mishima but you have the devil gene, wouldn't that at least edge out a win or is his Mishima strength too much since you claimed many times that Heihachi is stronger than you or Kazuya imagined, especially at his young/prime age?
Kazumi: Good question. I had lost the fight because his strength was far more superior than mine even though I had the Devil Gene. However, the rest of the details shall be revealed in Tekken 7.
Sweet: Just one more month...
Jin: I know...
Lars: At least I have a few games to keep me busy until then.
Nina: You're a gamer?
Lars: Yep. I just started teaching Alisa how to play Call of Duty.
Alisa: It does help me at perfecting my aim with my arm rockets!
Lee: I was at the receiving end of it once...
Alisa: I'm so sorry about that! I didn't mean to hit you, Mister Chaolan!
Lee: It's fine, Alisa. It was an accident.
Alisa: *frowns* I still feel really bad though...
Lee: *pats her head* I forgive you, my dear. I'll just make sure that we get you your own personal training room.
Alisa: Okay.
Sweet: Lee, ever the gentleman. Kazumi, another question is for you.
Kazumi: I love answering questions from the readers! *smiles*
Sweet: Awesome! Guest and Who are wondering why you appear younger than Kazuya.
Kazumi: When I was resurrected, they chose to leave my appearance as it is after my death. They didn't feel that it was necessary to change my look since we don't want Heihachi to not recognize me before I beat the living daylights out of him.
Sweet: Heihachi! You're f*cking doomed!
Nina: He done f*cked up now.
Sweet: Onto the dares!
The entire cast: Yeah!
Sweet: First dare! We all have to react to Chicken Fried by the Zac Brown Band.
*a projector is lowered and everyone grabs a seat*
Sweet: *starts the video* This should be interesting.
*halfway through the video*
Lars: Okay...
Jin: *keeps staring* I never expected this.
The entire cast: *keep looking at the screen and each other*
*after the video*
Shin: That was some video.
Sweet: Next up! Dragunov!
Dragunov: *comes up to the stage and raises his eyebrow*
Sweet: CarolinaBP has requested that you dance to a Beyoncé song with some of the boys as backup dancers.
Dragunov: *nods and instantly chooses 'Single Ladies'*
Shin: I volunteer as a backup dancer!
Xiaoyu: Really?!
Shin: I've always wanted to dance to a Beyoncé song! Always!
Sweet: That's one!
*Lars, Lee, Aleks, and Jin stand up*
Lars: I will now embarrass myself on national television.
Jin: I'm gonna hide for a while after this.
Lee: You can't be too fabulous!
Aleks: I have no idea what I just signed up for!
*the men get into position and take one deep breath*
Dragunov: *starts singing while the backup dancers start their dance*
Alisa: That's my Lars!
Sweet: I'm somewhat proud of you, Aleks!
*the song continues and all the men dance in perfect sync*
Jun: *claps* That's my son!
*the men all strike a pose and the song ends*
*the audience all stand up and applaud*
Alisa: And that's why I chose Lars!
Jin: *walks back to his seat* I can't breathe...
Lars: *kisses Alisa's cheek* See? Told you those dance lessons would pay off.
Xiaoyu: Shin! That was awesome!
Shin: *hugs her* That was fun!
Sweet: *to Aleks* You made me somewhat proud today.
Aleks: Okay...
Sweet: Next dare! Everyone step into these cubicles with a partner!
*everyone does so*
Sweet: Also, have some eye bleach just in case. We're supposed to watch these videos and react to them.
The entire cast: Okay...
*five minutes later*
Lucy, Jin, Lars, and Alisa: *run out of their cubicles at mach speed*
Lucy: *runs into the bathroom with her eye bleach* MY EYES ARE BURNING!
Jin: I've been scarred...
Lars: Can someone please remove this memory from my head?!
Sweet: Okay! *quickly erases the memory*
Alisa: I can never go on the internet again...
*the rest of the cast run out of their cubicles*
Nina: That was horrifying!
Shin: *curls up on the floor* Goodbye internet...
Anna: I'm gonna have nightmares for a week...
Lee: Why did I have to suffer this?!
Devil Jin: I've seen some creepy sh*t, but that was just overkill.
Catherine: Where's Aleks?
*everyone looks towards a cubicle*
Sweet: ALEKS! *breaks down the door and pulls out an unconscious and drooling Aleks*
Lucy: Holy sh*t! He's dead!
Anna: Who locked the door?!
Lars: What happened?
Alisa: Did he lock himself in?!
Sweet: He f*cking did! Anyways, we have to end the episode here since we're out of time and some of us need therapy after this. See ya next time, everyone! Don't forget to read and leave a review!
The cast: *weakly* Bye...
*after the cameras are shut down*
*backstage*
Jun: I didn't know videos like that even existed...
Jin: All I know is that everyone's been scarred for life.
Lucy: I will never go on the internet for the next few months.
Catherine: Let's see about that.
Lee: *shudders*
Lars: Why do you guys look so traumatized?
Kazuya: *sighs* Did you get amnesia again?
Alisa: No. Sweet just removed that memory from his mind.
The entire cast: Why didn't she do that to us?!
Shin: *covers his face with his hands* Help us...