((Chapter heading's from the song Six o'Clock by Deine Lakaien.))

Chapter 20
Stone Where Once Were Hearts

Hirad had never been a patient man. He'd been pacing for the past half hour, the twilight turning into a heavy dusk little by little, and with the increasing darkness, his nerves went from troubled to frayed.

Ilkar stopped him with a hand to his wrist. 'They're coming,' the elf said softly. 'There, on the road.'

Hirad stared in the direction indicated to them. So did the rest. 'How many? Can you tell?'

'Six.' The elf smiled. 'Six of them for six of us.'

'Will someone explain to me why we don't put an end to this here and now?' Hirad spread his arms. 'He's not coming alone but with guards. Why can't we get rid of him and be done with it?'

The Unknown positioned himself beside Hirad. 'We'll see.' He hadn't drawn his sword, but his stance screamed belligerence. 'If we fight them here, the second in command might rise to leadership. That would be Talan and he'd put an end to this mess. Or maybe all the rest of them would select a leader, whoever that is. Then we'd have achieved nothing.' He lowered his voice to almost a growl. 'And I can't help feeling that there's something else. Something about that leader. Talan hinted heavily that we might not be so keen to get rid of him once we meet with him.'

'Why'd he think that?' Hirad shook his head. 'Is it possible that he actually believes in them, at least to a point? That he thinks if we listen, we'll … I don't know, see things the way they do?'

The group had come close enough by now for them all to see the uniforms reflecting the moonlight. They did look a lot like the city guard from a distance, complete with metal helmets that obscured half their faces. 'I doubt it,' Ilkar said softly. 'I think, if anything, he believes we should save that leader.'

'He's … he's at the head of a group of murderers!'

'Let's just wait what this is about, Hirad.' Ilkar heard the slight pleading note in his own voice. 'Something's very wrong about this, and as long as we don't know what that missing detail is, we can't decide. We should be prepared to fight them if we think this is best. We should also be prepared to … to sit down with them and listen. It might be threats, it might be religious phanaticism, but at least we'll know what we're dealing with.' He turned to face Hirad. 'We're in the dark here. Normally, it's easier to know the motivation of an enemy. This time, we have no idea. All we know is that people vanish and die and that this has been going on for a long time. It's not enough.'

The barbarian offered a nod and stared on ahead. The group was close enough to shout, but they didn't. Through their entire discussion, Delia had remained silent. She looked frightened, Hirad noticed. He wondered of whom. According to Talan, she was in no immediate danger, but perhaps she didn't believe him. There was no love lost between the two of them, that had become clear with every glance one threw at the other.

When the Preservers reached the top of their barrow, The Raven stood like a monument, silent and immobile, in their fighting positions. The man at the front of the small group removed his helmet.

The only reason why there was no collective gasp going through The Raven was their discipline. Out of the corner of his eyes, Hirad saw The Unknown go rigid. He couldn't blame him. None of them spoke.

The leader of the Preservers looked at them all in turn. 'I haven't met all of you, but I know your names. How could I not.' He smiled. It seemed genuinely happy, as if he were nothing but a middle-aged man meeting old friends he'd thought lost to him. His face fell slightly when none of them answered. Hirad didn't think he would have been able to produce a coherent sentence even if he knew anything he wanted to say. 'You … you recognise me, don't you?'

Ilkar was the first who found his voice. 'You must be Jonas.' He swallowed. 'You look so much like The Unknown, you can't be anyone else.'

The smile returned to Jonas's face. 'I couldn't believe it when they said The Raven's here. I sent Talan out to take a look, and he confirmed it. Of course I had to meet you. Father, I missed you.'

The Unknown swallowed heavily. 'Jonas … What are you doing here?'

'You need to know the truth. And you'd best hear it from me. You … have the time, don't you?'

'We've got no other plans for the moment.' The Unknown gestured to the guards. 'Are you afraid of us, Jonas, that you need watchdogs?'

Jonas relaxed visibly. 'No.' He barked an order to the guards, who turned as one and walked away. 'They'll wait out of earshot but close by to escort me back to the city. Walking around alone at night isn't generally a good idea in this world. Have you run into monsters yet?'

'Several. Only one that wasn't human,' Will answered.

Jonas eyed him. 'You must be Will Begman. How can you be alive? All of you?'

'Long story, Jonas,' The Unknown said. 'But tonight is for your story, not for ours. I suppose we should build a fire and have that talk.'

Ϡ

For a while, all they talked about, sitting by a roaring camp fire, was the world itself, its monsters, and Kovir. After a while, the Unknown leaned forwards, his expression as calm as it ever was. 'Tell me something, Jonas. Is Diera still alive?'

Jonas looked away. 'No. And she didn't die of old age, either.' His eyes were intent, and Hirad had a feeling that this was the moment he had waited for. 'She was murdered by Scoia'tael. You know what they are?'

'Yes. We heard. Go on.'

'All she wanted to do was visit a friend. On the road just outside the city, she was pierced by one of their bloody arrows.' The anger on Jonas's face seemed carefully restrained. Hirad didn't like it. It was the expression of someone holding on to his rage rather than venting it, turning it into a companion until it was all that was left because it had poisoned the soul. 'And before that, in the same year, that son of a bitch Carduin hunted down and killed Sha-Khan.'

The barbarian felt the blood drain from his face. 'Why?' he asked sharply. His gaze locked with Jonas's.

'Because mages use parts of slain dragons for their vile potions. They sell the rest.' The control slipped and hatred bled into his expression. 'It doesn't matter who dies, as long as they get what they want. Someone had to do something, to show them that they are not all powerful and that they cannot trample over everyone else.'

'And us?' Ilkar asked. 'Should I fall on my sword right here, or do you wish to stake me yourself?'

'You're Balaian mages. You don't have any magic.'

'But I do,' Erienne said. Her voice was level, her hands folded neatly in her lap. 'I can cast. What about me, then? Do you want me dead?'

'I believe that magic brings chaos. And those who bring chaos should stay away from anyone they can do harm to.'

'So I get to live out my life in solitude. That is so kind of you.'

'Enough.' The Unknown stared at Jonas. 'You cannot honestly think that I am going to tell Erienne to leave? This … the Preservers, they're exactly the kind of people that tried to murder Lyanna!'

'Who brought death and destruction to Balaia.'

Erienne's lips tightened, but the Unknown answered more quickly. 'And if she had been left alone, she could be alive and well, sitting here with us. It's because of people being frightened of anything they don't understand we're even having this conversation.'

'They killed Sha-Khan! They killed mother!' Jonas fought for control and won the internal struggle. 'They're the murderers. All I seek is justice.'

The Unknown watched him. 'You ask us to join your cause, then? To fight for the Preservers?'

'To protect the people from the evils of this world.'

The guarded look on The Unknown Warrior's face was awfully familiar to Hirad. Jonas might be his son, but he hadn't spent anywhere near as much time around him as the barbarian had. 'We will consider it. How can we let you know?'

'Through Talan.' Jonas stood and brushed himself off. 'I will find my own way. I have to admit, I am disappointed. I trusted that you would see sense.'

'Then trust some more. We will meet again, and we will answer.'

'There is one more matter,' Jonas said casually. 'Your pretty little captive here. She's a traitor to us. I understand you'll try to protect her, but I'm afraid that isn't in your best interest.'

'Are you threatening me?'

'No. Warning you. Against her. She betrayed us, so you have no reason to believe that she will not betray you. So as a sign of good faith, I request that you leave her with us.' Jonas smiled. It was a languid and calculating smile that didn't have even a trace of warmth. 'That was, I suppose, your plan anyway, or she wouldn't be here.'

The Unknown shrugged. 'We didn't know what would happen tonight. Delia has been very … unforthcoming, to say the least. She's all yours.'

Jonas looked at her for less than half a second. 'Report to Talan. He will deal with you accordingly.'

Ϡ

'I thought you'd understand.' Shani's voice was almost inaudible.

'I do.' Regis halted his pacing. He'd taken off the clumsy bandages the Preservers had given Shani and taken care of the wounds. 'I really do.'

'Then why don't you help me? You told me about how you met Geralt, all of it, in great detail. Why aren't you prepared to do for me what you did for Milva?'

Regis opened his mouth and closed it. He wished he'd never said a word about her. 'Milva,' he said deliberately, 'asked a service I wasn't very convinced she truly wanted. And I turned out to be right. I would have provided it anyway because she wasn't asking me to murder her. Shani, think about what a horrible request you are making of me here.'

Tears broke from her eyes, the despair so clear on her face it cut into Regis's very soul. 'I will never be anything but a burden now. I can't even take my own life. I'm at your mercy.'

Regis sat on the bed beside Shani and pulled her close, holding her head to his chest and pressing his face against the top of her head. 'Shani, you're so young. You don't want to die. You're tormented now, of course you are, but I refuse to believe that you truly see no way to go on.'

'But you did give Milva the choice. You respected her enough to let her make up her own mind.'

'Milva again.' Regis took a deep breath. 'Yes, I did it, because I was positive that refusing would harden her resolve. And … that was a completely different dilemma. You ask me to do something irreversible. If Milva had survived, if she'd ended her pregnancy, she could have chosen to have children at any later point she wanted to. What you ask me is, as you may know, a little more permanent. You cannot … you cannot come back from the grave and decide you want to live after all.'

'I'm not you. I can't regenerate without any help like you can.'

'I … wasn't without help. If I had been, I wouldn't be sitting here.' He fought the urge to get up and resume his pacing. 'But since you mention it, I would like to find out if there is a way to help you. If Vilgefortz could regrow his eyes, maybe something can be done for you.'

'It's never been done.' She looked up, and maybe there was some spark of the fire Regis hoped fervently hadn't been quenched completely. 'If that were possible, do you think soldiers wouldn't make use of such a service?'

'A foot soldier who loses a limb generally doesn't know mages, nor does he socialise with them.'

'You hate mages.'

'No.' Regis managed to keep his voice careful and patient. He was surprised that Shani let him hold her rather than calling him all sorts of names. 'I don't hate mages in general, and you know that. I am somewhat apprehensive of mages I don't know. But there are some that might be willing to help, eager even to try something so outrageously difficult. For a price, obviously, but nothing is free.'

'I can't afford that.'

'I can.'

'Regis …'

He pulled away and looked at her. 'Let me try, Shani. And don't ask me to kill you in the middle of your grief. I won't.' He did stand then and started pacing. 'You're a medic yourself, Shani. Think of the position you're putting me in! What would you do in my place? What did you do at Brenna? Would you euthanize our hypothetical soldier if he requested it the moment he realised he is disabled?'

'No.' She swallowed and raised her arms that ended in bandaged stumps. 'No, I would have told him to take his time, that he would learn to compensate. A sack full of lies.'

'Is it?' Regis halted. 'If the same soldier were mortally wounded and knew it, you wouldn't lie. Neither would I. And you are hardly a cipher I can spin a tale to. I believe that you can live a rich life. Not normal, that would obviously be untrue. But … I have come to believe that normal isn't necessarily better.'

'I'm useless. Are you saying this is an improvement for me?' There was a trace of hysteria in Shani's voice. Small wonder.

Regis sat beside her again, clasping her shoulders. 'Is that what you believe? That I am mocking you?' He didn't wait for an answer. He understood her too well to be hurt or to blame her for trying it. 'You're injured. Your head's intact, and it has always been your greatest strength. Right now, it's painting a sinister future of dependency and a completely unnecessary fear of abandonment, and that is perfectly normal but not healthy.' He leaned down and pressed his lips to her temple. 'Give yourself time. And me. Please.'

'How much?'

'A year. Not to complete whatever can be done, but to find a feasible way to help you and to let you learn to adjust to such a foreign situation.'

'And after that year, if I still want to die, Regis? Do you really want to deprive me of my right to decide my own fate?'

He swallowed. 'I … After a year, if you ask me for a way out of your life again, I will hold the door open for you. It will shatter me, but I will do it anyway. Painless and fast and I will be there with you until it's over.'

'Do you really believe you can find help, Regis?'

He wished he were a better liar. But somehow, he never had been, not when it mattered. 'I will try. But I … am not overly optimistic.'

The ghost of a smile formed on her face. 'You just want me to have some hope that will keep me going, no matter how obscure. And when time dulls the pain, you think I'll be able to cope.' She shook her head. 'Don't go chasing ghosts. At the moment, I need someone I trust with me, and you're one of the few. I can't do anything by myself. Never will.'

'You'd be amazed how much a human being can do when they need to,' Regis said briskly. It sounded like a challenge. 'All you need to do is want to live. If you manage that, the rest will come. You know that better than anyone. I'm sure you've seen people cope with tremendous injuries and come out stronger.'

'Sometimes.' She looked away. 'More often, they don't have that strength. But usually, they also don't have someone so stubbornly prepared to help them get back on their feet. Still … I'd like to be alone for a while.'

Regis nodded. 'Of course. Shout if you want to see me.' He walked to the door. 'Even if you don't, I'll come back in an hour. For my own sake as much as yours.'