_Chapter 15_

"I Am Raziel"

Dean

Both Trinity and I had been talking about how what we felt for each other was more than just love. It was really confusing actually. And I didn't really like talking about it. She described it as a feeling that symbolized "destiny", and as much as I don't believe in all of that destiny crap… I couldn't help but agree. And that just added to the confusion of our lives as hunters.

But it had been two months since Trinity's episode that she still didn't like to talk about. I mean, I could understand I've had awful nightmares where all the people that were still alive that I cared about were dead. I didn't like to really talk about my feelings, let alone what goes on inside my head.

One evening Cas showed up all disheveled and with a strange look on his face.

"Cas, buddy, what is it?" I ran over to him and gripped his shoulder so he wouldn't fall over.

"You… you and Trinity…"

"What? What about us?" she crouched down holding his other shoulder and gripping my hand.

He looked at Sam behind me, "You saw it, in their eyes, you saw it too, didn't you?" he was breathing heavily.

We all looked at Sam, "I mean, well, yeah, but I thought it was just happiness or something."

"That's what I thought too, Cas. What's going on?" Trinity shook her head.

"I am the only one here who has no idea what he's talking about?"

"Dean, listen to me, this is important."

"We're listening," Trinity looked into Cas's eyes.

"You've been feeling a connection stronger than love, haven't you?"

"Yeah, and?"

"It's because once you finally connected like that, mated have you-"

"Please don't call it mating, bud."

Cas just glared at me, "Once you finally did, your prophecy was fulfilled."

"Wait. What… Prophecy?!"

"I'm not sure yet what it is called," he gave Trinity a quick glance, "but you two were destined to meet, to fall in love, and you are destined to be together no matter what."

"Oh. Great."

"What is that supposed to mean?" Trinity stood up glaring at me.

"Nothing, it's just, I'm sick of having our lives described as fate and crap, can't our decisions ever be considered our own?! That we chose our paths because we wanted to?!"

Her face softened, "Of course, sometimes though, we can defy destiny and change our fate. Can't we, Sam?"

My brother looked at her and gave a shy smile, "She's right," then at me, "It's not a bad thing, Dean. Not really."

"It still confuses me on why we're so special. We're just hunters!"

"Maybe it had something to do with you being the Michael Sword, but we met at a different time than expected," she tried for a smile.

"She has a point, Dean. Chuck the Prophet was writing a whole gospel on you two. You're more important than you think, and I believe you know that."

"Yeah, maybe. But, what happened to you, why are you like this?" I looked back at Cas.

"Let's just say it was a painful revelation."

"So, what is so special about this connection?" I asked.

"I, I will tell you later when I process it all myself. There's a lot to it," Cas took a few deep breaths. He really was pretty beaten up.

Trinity suddenly put her arm under his, "C'mon Cas, let's get you upstairs."

For such a small girl, she could be so strong, physically and mentally. She helped Cas up the steps to her room and the door closed behind them.

One thing I did know for certain throughout all of this, I really did love Trinity Scarborough for everything she is.

Trinity

"Cas, tell me everything. I know you didn't say everything you know down there, for my sake. But, I need to know."

He didn't even hesitate, "The other angels found me and instead of attempting to kill me, they gave word to the archangel Raziel, he's the angel of secrets and knowledge, so he himself found me and made me see all of the possible outcomes of your survival and blamed me for the bad ones, which were the only ones they showed me." My face fell. "But I know that they didn't show me all of them, meaning they probably withheld the good ones. They forced the prophecy of you two onto me, it was called the The Prophecy of the Righteous Evil. It's a contradiction, I know. But Dean was called the Righteous Man, and-"

"I'm the evil. Yeah, I get it."

"They're just afraid of you. That's all. They're getting inside of your head. I've told you. I believe your will to be stronger than the powers bestowed upon you."

"I know, Cas. But that doesn't make me any less scared. What happens when Dean finds out about me?"

"If, if, Dean finds out."

"He will. I know he will. And I see it in your eyes that you think, no you know, he will too."

He just looked down. "Cas? What do you think he'll do?"

He looked up and gave me his big, blue, sad eyes, "I truly don't have any idea, Trinity. I don't know what his reaction would-"

"Will," I corrected him, he was just saying this because he wanted to give me hope.

"...will, be," but he knew for certain he'd find out one day. And that day would probably be sooner than later with my luck.

"Well, do you know anything else?" I sighed and tried to change the topic of Dean finding out how much of a freak I really am.

"In the prophecy, in the fine print you could call it, it had details. It spoke about how when one of you is hurt from now on, the other will know, whether it be through the same pain itself, an emotion, a vision, something. And if one of you were to die, which I will do everything in my power to not let happen," as he said that, the image of his death by my hand flashed through my head, "but if it were to happen, something would break inside of you, not literally, but it would feel like it, like a bond snapping. Sometimes in extreme cases, if the one with the power dies, the other will too if nothing is done about it."

"You say it like this has happened before."

"Because it has. Many biblical and supernatural beings were destined like you two. And in some medieval dragon folklore, if the dragon rider were to die, the dragon itself would. So picture you as the rider and Dean as the dragon."

Tears rimmed my eyes, "So no matter what, I will be the cause of his death one way or another."

"No. No, you have to understand, it said if nothing were to stop it. You could stop it, you have the power to protect him. It said in extreme cases, meaning extreme power."

I rubbed my forehead, "This is a lot to take in Cas. So, you're saying, that we are responsible for each other in every way, shape, and form?"

"Generally."

"Great."

"There was more."

"Oh goody."

"As your bond becomes stronger, you both will adopt a marking, I don't know what it is yet, but it will happen over time now that the process has begun. Also, if you two are separated, it will start to feel like withdrawal and it will just get worse and worse the longer you're apart. And in your case, I don't know what that will mean."

I got up and started pacing nervously. "Not that I already had a bunch on my plate," I stopped and looked up, flipping the sky off, "Screw you angels!" I sighed exasperatedly. I looked at Cas, "Not you of course."

"I know. I feel the same way," he tried a weak smile, but he was still pretty beaten up.

"How are you dealing, Cas?"

"I've been better. But Trinity, there's one more thing."

"What?" I crouched down and leaned on his knees as he was sitting on the side of my bed.

"Sometime in the future, whether it be near or far, or even spread out. Dean will start to be able to see things the way you can. Including yourself. It might have already started once you fell in love with each other for the first time."

My head drooped, I muttered, "Son of a bitch…" Jeez I had adopted so many habits of the Winchesters.

"He will also be able to absorb your energy if you give it to him."

"Meaning, what, exactly?" I looked at the angel quizzically.

"If he is in need, you can simply touch him, or if you're powerful enough, motion towards him and some of your power will transfer."

"You're saying he can smite things like we can?"

"No, not to that extent, just the energy. Say he's dying, if you do this, it could save his life."

There was a long pause, but then Cas took my chin in one of his hands, "Unless it's you who's killing him."

I knew my face had changed to shock and pain immediately, because Cas's expression showed regret and sorrow.

He started to apologize, but I interrupted, "No,' I sniffled, "You're right. I understand. I've seen what I can do, what I'm capable of. And even if it scares the Hell out of me, I know." I paused but then a disturbing question entered my thoughts, "Does Lucifer know of this prophecy?"

"I'm not sure. He could. He could believe that the power you obtain is stronger that it, that you'll kill him anyway. Or he's lying, trying to get in your head still."

"Why is it so important that to him that you guys die, and why is it so important that it's me?"

A look of an epiphany washed over Cas's features, "He definitely knows of the prophecy. Now that you said that, he know that the bond between you and Dean is stronger than your abilities, and that bond is shared between the four of us in tendrils. Sam and Dean are so connected that the loyalty part of the bond is shared and since you have my blood, same goes for us."

"So if Lucifer wants me as his evil, avenging, angel, he knows that you three have to be out of the picture. So, could that be the missing part in my vision? Could someone else have killed you guys because of me, so I…" my voice dropped, "I snapped?"

"It makes sense," Cas looked saddened.

"Well, we'll just have to stick together, let nothing in between us. Stay in our family, right?"

"Correct. Trinity? How, how are you taking all of this?"

"Well, about as good as you'd expect. I'm kind of seriously freaked out."

"Should I tell Dean anything?"

"Of course, tell him everything that doesn't involve my abilities. You can even twist your words some to tell him, but not let him know everything."

We sat for a moment, "I hate lying him, Cas."

"I know, so do I."

We both sat on my bed, slouched over, thinking.

"This sucks."

"Indeed."

"Like, a lot."

"Agreed."

…

I told Cas to stay up there for a while and rest, regenerate some. So I came downstairs with the brothers.

"Cas will be down in a bit," I let the corner of my mouth twitch up.

"What did you guys talk about up there?"

"Nothing comprehensible. He's a bit loopy right now," I walked passed Dean, whose eyes followed me into the kitchen.

"Aw, c'mon, who ate the pie?"

"Dean!" Sam blamed.

"Seriously? I had been saving that," I close the refrigerator door.

"How can you be so nonchalant about this?" Dean appeared in the threshold.

"I'm taking it in pieces," complete lie, I just got a crap ton of crap thrown at me. "Try not to let it get to you right now, until we know more, I suppose," I shrugged, lying.

His bright eyes just looked at me. Then he walked in and got close to me, "You know I do really love you right?" he grabbed my hands and intertwined our fingers, touching foreheads and our eyes closed, "And not because of this stupid prophecy."

I couldn't help but smile.

…

A few days later disaster stuck.

Cas had told Dean everything he could, and he suprising took it well. Better than I did probably, even though I didn't tell Dean that.

Sam was kind of freaked out about the whole thing, but supported us, trying to make sense of it all.

"Raziel, huh? We haven't heard about him, have we?" Dean watched Cas.

"He usually stays up in heaven, he's the secret keeper of God. But once he got word of your bond being locked, he came to me, to show me, knowing I was close to both of you."

Cas was doing a good job at twisting his own words to tell Dean, and not tell Dean.

"Why did an archangel care so much? And why'd he just leave you alone after?"

"I'm not sure."

That much was true. Cas told me that he'd expect a rebound of some sort, but he wasn't sure what would happen.

He was right.

Dean

Cas had just finished telling us everything he knew about this new prophecy about me and Trinity. I wanted to believe that that was all he knew, but I just couldn't get past the look in his eyes.

"Not sure? That's never good," I sighed.

"Look, maybe he just wanted to make sure we knew,or something," Sam's tone even questioned himself.

"I don't know, man-" I was cut off when Trinity dropped to the ground screaming her lungs off, holding the sides of her head, her eyes squeezed shut.

I fell down with her, trying to pry her neck up to look at me, but she was rigid, "Trinity! Trin, look at me!"

Then Cas fell to, yelling and clutching his head too. Sam ran over to him and put his hands on his shoulders then looked at me, worry filling his eyes.

"Dean! What's going on?!" he shouted over their screams.

"I don't know!" Right after I finished yelling that, my head started ringing extremely painfully with high screeches and squeals and fuzzy interceptions like a bad radio. The pain seared all the way through my entire head and travelled down my spine into my nerves.

My hands flew up to grasp my own temples and Sam reached over, "Dean! Dean!"

But then, an enormous explosion happened behind us. It was full of a bright white, silver, and blue light and heat. All four of us were thrown forward by the force of the blast.

As the light dimmed and the dust cleared some, the noises in our heads dulled to a bearable volume. We looked around confused. Then the lights went completely out adding to the darkness of the already night sky outside.

"Dean!" I heard Trinity's voice sound over the silence that had fallen over us after all of the commotion.

"Trin! You akay?"

"I think so."

"Sammy!?"

He grunted, "Yeah, I guess.

"Cas? How 'bout you?!"

"I'm fine, Dean."

"What, the Hell, was that?!"

As if to answer my question, a voice began to the right of us, from where the kitchen used to be. "I am Raziel."

"Crap," Trinity grumbled under her breath.

"Son of a bitch…" I did too.

"Face me."

"It's kind of hard to see ya, being dark and all," Sam tells me my sarcasm to higher beings is going to get me killed one day.

A bright light shined momentarily again, and as it disappeared a tall, thin, young Native American man wearing a dark grey business suit with his long, straight, black hair braided in two, hanging on his shoulders, came out of his silhouette.

"Although all of you play a part in this, I only need to speak to one of you for now," he had a solid face, that was kind, yet his eyes were cold. When he finished his announcement, he snapped his fingers.

The next thing I knew we all appeared outside in the pitch blackness. I landed on Baby's hood, Sam landed on Trinity's car, Milo, and Cas hit the sidewalk and tumbled, all three of us grunted loudly on impact.

"I only heard three thuds… Why were there only three thuds?!... Trinity? Trinity?!"

I heard Cas struggle to stand, "He still has her."

Something inside me broke. As far as I knew, she had never experienced an angel besides Cas. "No…"

Trinity

When Raziel tossed the boys out, he looked to me with his dark brown eyes.

"You," he wagged his finger in in my direction, pacing my floor, "you, have caused quite the commotion upstairs. About as much as your Winchesters did during the apocalypse. Now, I didn't have much to do with that, as I was actually on their side, I was searching for God, as was Castiel. But you know how that went."

"What do you want?"

"For you to bow down and pledge your allegiance to me."

I scoffed, "Never."

His arrogant smile turned as his lip twitched into a composed snarl. "Do you want to see what Lucifer showed you happen?"

I smiled slyly, "Of course not, but following you won't help me either," my smile turned into an evil, angered frown, "I know how angels work."

"Oh you do, do you?" the next moment he had me pinned up against the crumbling wall with his hand and fingers around my neck. I grasped his wrist with my hands, cutting off my air. His huge wings, silver and shimmering extended behind him, "Do you realize what I could do to you? You are not as strong as you think you think you are. If you do not bow down to me, you will succumb to Lucifer," he growled in my face.

I let my wings escape their prison and felt so much freer, I thought to myself, I should just let them stay out… I will.

His face became one of shock and confusion. I closed my eyes and opened them again to reveal my real eyes. I was taking a huge risk, I haven't really used my powers in so long except for the now weekly practices with Cas in the middle of the night. But we never go this far.

His eyes widened in what looked like… terror? He dropped his hand and started backing away slowly, "I was not informed… I didn't… how…?"

Ignoring his attempts at excuses, for every step he took back, I took on forward, but he began stumbling. In my head I was thinking, Holy crap! Holy crap! I'm making a legitimate archangel stumble and trip and tremor… Holy crap!

The wind started blowing around us… was that me?… as I spoke, my voice was unexpectedly confident and strong, and it became increasingly louder and booming, like my powers amplified it, "Do you realize what I could do to you?" lights and wires sparked around me, illuminating our faces, he was backed up against a wall. I passed my dresser covered in supernatural protection, I grabbed a jar of holy oil and threw it around us, snapping my fingers, catching it on fire, "You're not as strong as you think you are…" as I spoke I felt my head getting dizzy, this was too much power for me, at least as of yet. But I couldn't stop now, he'd kill me. "If you do not bow down to me…" I grabbed his shirt collar, pulling him close to my face, he grabbed my wrists this time and with a plea in his eyes, shook his head slowly, his eyes widening, "…You will… succumb…"

I felt my eyes glow, blue like an angel's, and sparkly black for my weird self, and my blood run quickly, the power filling me, I dropped him, but before he hit the floor, I flicked my hand up and he flew against the wall. Spreading my fingers, I started to slowly clench my fist, picturing the angel blade Cas gave back to me those couple of years ago, Cas's angel blade. It appeared in my hand and with my hand still extended, holding Raziel in place, wincing in agony, I wasn't quite sure what I was doing to him, but it was working, I walked over to him with confidence. As I was only inches from his face, I slammed the blade into his ribs causing him to gasp and a bright light begin to emerge from him. Before I retracted, ending the angel kill, I whisper-growled in his ear, "…to me."

I yanked the blade out and his chest, eyes, and mouth exploded in a supernova light, bursting lights, windows, and other things. My nose, mouth, eyes, and ears began to bleed rapidly, I almost passed out right there as my eyes changed back and the wind stopped along with the over-done zapping of the wires. I fell to one knee, catching my weight on it and a palm to the floor.

Outside I heard a faint yell in Dean's voice, "Trinity!…No!" the no turned into a growling scream. I stumbled over to the door as my entire apartment building began to shake. I opened the door to my loft and saw my remaining neighbors fleeing to their cars, carrying babies, pets, and very few beloved objects. I scoured the crowd, seeing my family. Dean's eyes penetrating mine, I saw his mouth move yelling at me, but it was completely quiet, no more rummbling, no more screeching children, no more buzzing wires, no more pleading screams from the boys.

As everything began to blur, I felt my head loll in dizzying circles and the I felt my abdomen tip over the railing, wind blowing through my hair, across my skin, and then everything was back in motion and before everything went black I heard Dean scream my name one more time.