Hey guys! I'm so, so, so sorry! I'm such a horrible person, I haven't updated in over a month. I just got caught up with school and didn't have time to write. Thanks for bearing with me even with my untimely updates and still reading my fanfic. This chapter is for you guys. (Wow that sounds cheesy :)) I've also gotten multiple comments about how the spacing is making it hard to read so I tried to add more breaks in between the text. It's chapter 5! There will be some Maxerica in this chapter! Hope you guys like it! Kiera Cass owns everything!
Maxon POV
It's extremely awkward sitting here in the home I gifted America, trying to ignore her family's stares. I hear the lock jiggle and breath a sigh of relief. She's here.
The door opens and voices float in. I hear America say something and a voice I have never heard before responds. The voice is friendly and is very clearly masculine. My heart breaks a little. She's with a guy. And she seems to be enjoying herself.
I immediately shake off the negative thoughts and put a smile on my face. America enters the doorway and when she sees me she does a double take. When she realizes it's actually me she steps back in shock, running into the person behind her. I look at the guy, and he's really attractive. He has dark, chocolate brown hair and kind, hazel eyes. His smile is infectious and he just has this presence to him that makes you notice him. He notices me and stiffens. America must have told him about what I did. He probably thinks that I'm the biggest jerk ever for hurting America. And the truth is, I am. America is frozen, still in shock and the guy is glaring daggers at me. Her family is restless, probably just as bothered by the tension as I am.
Finally, I break the silence. 'Hi America", I say.
America POV
He's here. But, but how? I try to speak but nothing comes out. I'm so in shock I can't even produce coherent sentences. My mind is chaos, thoughts swirling around. "H-Hi", I finally manage to stutter. At the sound of my voice a soft smile tugs on the corners of Maxon's lips. And because of our past, I can't help but to smile back. At that movement Ethan's eyes turn cold and he turns to the door. "I have to go", he says flatly. I start to protest but something in his eyes keeps me from speaking. "Thank you for the amazing dinner." And for listening to my problems and still accepting me I add mentally. "I hope we can get together again soon." Ethan offers me a sad smile. "Maybe", he says, his gaze darting to Maxon. I sigh, my life was so complicated.
I walk him to the door and shut the door behind him. I hear his engine rev and he speeds off into the darkness. I take a deep breath and try to calm myself down before facing Maxon. It doesn't work, my breathing still as shallow as before. I pad down the hall and enter the room. I'm surprised to see Maxon alone, my family must be trying to give us some space.
Maxon doesn't notice my entrance, he's too busy looking at the wall of pictures. I smile, I had gotten the idea after seeing his room. "Beautiful", he breathes so softly that I almost don't hear it. I scan the pictures and blush when I see the image he's staring at. It's one of me and my family dancing around in the living room the day I got Selected. Even my mom had gotten in on the fun. I had a bright smile on my face, joyful even though I didn't want this. I wonder what he thought of it.
I feel awkward staring at him so I clear my throat, alerting him of my presence. He whirls around and seems shocked to see me standing there. "How long have you been standing there?" he asks. "Um..not long", I reply. Maxon nods slightly, but doesn't say anything. The silence that follows is unbearable. I want to say something but I don't want to say the wrong thing. I brush off invisible dust clinging to my dress and tuck a strand of my hair behind my ear, unable to stay still. I look at the ground, waiting for him to say something.
Maxon POV
She looked so adorable standing there, her small hands smoothing down her beautiful dress, tucking a strand of her lovely hair behind her ear. Her cheeks are flushed and her lips are slightly parted as she stands there, waiting for me to speak. Is it possible that she became even more beautiful since the last time I saw her? I then realize that she's waiting for me to say something. I search my mind for something to say, but nothing comes up. Shoot. I had a whole speech prepared. Well I guess I'll just have to wing it.
"America", I start. She looks up at the sound of her name and her icy blue eyes connect with mine. And that's all it takes. All my preparation flies out the window. It's just me and her. "America", I repeat. "I made a mistake. A huge, thoughtless mistake that I will never be able to correct. But I'm going to try." Her expression remains blank, not changing. I continue, ready to make myself a fool if it means getting her back. "I love you. You, not Kriss. I thought I loved Kriss but that was just my pride getting in the way. When I saw you with Officer Leger my heart broke." At my words a twinge of hurt enters America's eyes. I quickly change direction. "I foolishly chose Kriss, thinking she made me happy. But that is far from the truth. You are the only one who can make me happy, without you there is no reason to live." I swallow, I hate to make myself this vulnerable, but for America it was worth it. "I love you and I want to be with you forever." America still doesn't react. She stands there, her face changing emotions so quickly I can barely catch them. It goes from sadness to love to regret to hopefulness before finally settling on a blank poker face. I tense, afraid for her response.
"Maxon", she starts and the sound of my name makes me smile. "You don't know how happy I am that you feel this way. I've been wondering since the Choosing Ceremony whether or not you loved me." I smile at the fact that she realizes that I do love her. "But", she continues. At that one word my heart sinks, my hope crushed. She doesn't love me anymore. It takes all my strength to not break down then and there. "You don't love me", I object, my voice breaking slightly on the last word. At this, she looks shocked. "Of course I do. How could you ever even think that? That's the part I hate. On one hand I'll hate you forever for breaking my heart. But on the other side, I'll love you forever. There's no way I couldn't."
I exhale, visibly relieved. I was so crushed at the thought that she didn't love me, you have no idea how grateful I was to find out that it was false. And then my face fell, remembering her words from before. There was a catch. And I was about to find out what it was. "But", she continues. "I don't know if I could ever fully trust you again." I'm about to object, but she rushes on before I can say something. "I know the trust issue thing is two-sided but please let me finish." Something in her tone keeps me from cutting in. I nod imperceptibly. "I don't know if I could ever trust you again. For all I know you could decide you're bored with me and start loving another woman. I just, I can't stand for you to break my heart again." Her voice grows weaker and weaker as she goes on, like she's on the verge on tears. By the end, it's nothing but a soft whisper.
I process her words and am shocked. How could she be so absurd as to think that I would stop loving her? I can't stop loving her, even when we're dead I'll keep loving her. "How could you even think like that America?" I ask. "I will never stop loving you, there's no possible way I could. That's why I'm here today. You are my soulmate, without you I'm not complete. Will you take me back?" By the end of my little speech my voice had turned pleading, begging her to understand.
"I-I'm so confused Maxon. I need some time to think. I-I just can't..." Her voice trails off and she starts crying, tears streaming down her face. It breaks my heart to see America so confused and in such pain. I move towards her, intent on brushing her tears away and comforting her. I reach her in one long stride and wrap her in my arms. At first she resists but after a few seconds she relaxes, content in my arms. I whisper soothing words in her ears until her tears dry out. I look at her and am again taken aback by her utter beauty. Even though she had been crying only seconds before she looks breathtaking. Her eyes are bright and her face glows.
Suddenly America tenses in my arms. "We shouldn't be doing this", she objects. "You're engaged to Kriss, this is treason." I laugh quietly. "I'm the crown prince America. I could hardly get hanged." She's still frozen. "Neither could you", I assure her, and she relaxes. "This is nice", she admits quietly. My heart swells, she does love me. I sit there, rocking her back and forth gently, content on staying like this forever.
"As much I love this moment I still have my worries." I sigh, I knew she wouldn't give up so easily. She stands up and I let her go reluctantly. "As much as I want to trust you completely, I don't want to suffer again." "How could you even think that America? I already told you, I could never stop loving you." "I know. But I'm just trying to look out for myself." At this point she's almost screaming, her voice defensive. We both had short tempers and I didn't want this to turn into a fight, so I try to keep my voice gentle. "Stop doubting me America. I told you, I love you. Why can't you just trust me?" I hadn't been successful, my voice was almost as loud as hers.
"I'm trying to. But after you chose Kriss I was heartbroken. I can't bear to go through again." Her voice sounds so broken whenever she talks about that, tempting me to give in. I shake my head. Two can play at this game. "That may be true. But what about you and that other guy? Ethan? How do I know there is nothing going on between you two. If you really love me that much how could you move on so quickly?" My speech is full of accusements, but I need to know.
"There's nothing going on there. It was our first date for God's sake! And Celeste set me up on that date, how could I refuse?" I had to admit, her reasoning was pretty logical. But I refused to back down. 'You could have tried. And what's so special about this guy anyway?" "Have you met Celeste? She's pretty damn hard to refuse. Woah she must be really mad. I've never heard her curse. And Ethan's a great guy - nice, smart, and he accepted me, flaws and all. Unlike some people." At that I'm furious. It's obvious that America regrets saying that, as she tries to take it back. But I'm not listening.
"I see how it is", I say calmly. "I hope you and Ethan have a nice time together." And I walk out.
As I exit the room I hear America burst into tears, begging me to come back and apologizing profusely. I yearn to turn back and comfort her but my pride keeps me moving forward. As I leave the house I feel a strange sense of deja vu. This reminds me exactly of what happened on the morning o the Choosing Ceremony- me walking out and America crying.
As I climb into the limousine waiting for me around the corner I realize what I have done. I curse myself to the deepest pits of hell. I did it again. My pride got the better of me. I almost had her but i ruined it. And now she's crying, and probably hates me even more. I debate running all the way back to her house and begging for her forgiveness but we're already at the castle. It's probably for the best I think. Father will be wondering where I am. And I should talk to Mom before I try going back again. I take a deep, cleansing breath and enter the castle, heading for the one place where I can find true comfort. My mother's room.
And that's it for chapter 5. Hope you guys like it. I tried to write an extra-long chapter to make up for my absence. And don't worry, the ending will be Maxerica. But what's a story without a little drama? Anyway hopefully I can update more constantly but we'll just have to see. Happy late Halloween btw. :)