"Wh-where am I?"
He awoke from his dizziness to find himself surrounded by unusual scenery. Dark gloomy trees were scattered in the background, and even the grass felt cold and lifeless. This man realized that he truly was surrounded by the lifeless, not just the foliage around him. Dimentio was in The Underwhere.
"The Underwhere…? Well, I was just killed, I suppose. But now, the shadow of my power I left behind, Shadimentio, will come into play! Shadimentio will use the Chaos Heart to destroy all things, like a meteorite striking at a child's playground! My millenniums-old plan will prevail in just a few short minutes!" Dimentio looked at his gloomy surroundings.
"Not exactly the perfect place for celebration. But I will have my own perfect universe to celebrate in soon enough!"
"Hey you there!" Just then, a tiny troupe of D-Men walked over to Dimentio. The lead D-Men informed him,
"All those who have depleted their extra lives must report to Queen Jaydes immediately! We can take you to her." Dimentio asked,
"Don't you know who I am?"
"Of course we know who you are! You nearly destroyed all worlds in the universe! Come with us!"
"Alright, fine. Queen Jaydes deserves a visit for all of her hard work…" The D-Men escorted Dimentio to the royal Queen Jaydes as Dimentio said,
"I may be dead, but my plan lives on!"
"No talking, Dimentio!"
"My shadowy clone, Shadimentio, still wields the Chaos Heart!"
"Shut up!"
"In a few moments, The Void will devour all worlds and the universe shall be as I desire!"
"Can't you give us just five minutes to gloat?"
By then, the D-Men and Dimentio reached the Queen Jaydes Temple. Queen Jaydes exclamation marked when he saw the evil jester, and her minions bowed in her presence. The queen asked,
"Dimentio! So, the Heroes of Light finally killed you?" Dimentio responded,
"As a matter of fact, they did."
"As predicted in the Light Prognosticus. The one your brother wrote as part of your evil plan? Even though the Light Prognosticus was written to be part of your evil scheme, it ended up being truthful – and now you're here."
"Speaking of my brothers, where are they? They must be here somewhere-there's nowhere to go after death."
"Merloo and Marloo are rotting in the Labyrinth of Eternity, the worst place in all of existence."
Queen Jaydes was right. The Labyrinth of Eternity is the true Hell, a prison for those too evil to belong in the Underwhere. This prison strips its inhabitants of all physical and magical powers. So you can't prevent the pain. Dimentio knew of this place from the folklore he studied long ago, and had a fear that his brothers were sent there after they died. He was right. Queen Jaydes continued,
"Your brothers, Bonechill and a few others are trapped there…as is the Pixl Queen."
"The Pixl Queen that I killed?"
"The very same. Didn't your brother Marloo create her after stealing your Dark Prognosticus? And becoming insane right after reading it?"
"Marloo was upset when I found out that the Man in Red had to be an actual hero and he couldn't be in my master plan. Also, he was jealous of Merloo because he could still be the Man in Green…at least until their death."
"Speaking of Merloo, didn't he become insane as well? Too bad. At least you'll get to see your insane brothers again once I send you to the Labyrinth of Eternity!"
"You are right, my Queen. I will get to see them again…once the Void devours all worlds!" Queen Jaydes looked at Dimentio with terror in her eyes and yelled,
"The Void is still growing? But you're dead!" Dimentio assured her,
"It's almost fully grown! In just a few seconds, the Void will devour all things, like a monster truck at a clown car rally!"
"You can't destroy all worlds…you'll be killing every being in existence! And I have to weigh the sins of every last one! My schedule's already full as it is! I just finished judging the Sammer Guys and I'm in the middle of judging the Floro Sprouts!"
"The small price you will have to pay to create my perfect universe! By the way, my brothers and the Floro Sapiens are coming with me-I promised King Croacus the First that I would bring the Floro Sapiens to paradise if he gave me some Floro Sprouts. At least you won't have to judge the flowers!"
"Real helpful, Dimentio. When will the Void end all life?"
"In just a few seconds. The-"
Before Dimentio could finish his sentence, a loud, boasting sound was in the air. It was the sound of bells, ringing through the entire afterlife. Dimentio asked,
"What is that noise?" Queen Jaydes answered, though still as confused as him,
"It sounds like bells…wedding bells!" The bells continued to ring. Jaydes said,
"It's the magic of a wedding…the magic of true love!" Dimentio gasped,
"The Pure Hearts!"
As suddenly as the ringing noises sounded, a blinding flash of white light covered The Underwhere. Not just the afterlife, but the universe of the living as well. This light could only mean one thing, and Queen Jaydes started to grin. She said smugly,
"Dimentio, I think your plan just failed!" Dimentio asked (to both Jaydes and himself),
"But how? Shadimentio was supposed to wield the Chaos Heart!"
"I guess love stopped Shadimentio."
After Queen Jaydes said that, some of the Shaydes civilians started to vanish. A fair few of them disappeared before their eyes. Dimentio said,
"I think that the blinding light is returning all things to normal. In other words, those destroyed by The Void are getting an automatic continue."
"Wait…ALL of them? I just judged 100 Sammer Guys and now they're going back? Not to mention the Cragnons and Floro Sapiens!" Queen Jaydes was becoming furious with Dimentio, but she remembered the Labyrinth of Eternity from their conversation before. She yelled,
"That's it! Dimentio, for the crimes of mass murder, writing the Dark Prognosticus, ultimately causing the downfall of two ancient tribes and attempted obliteration of ALL life, I sentence you to the Labyrinth of Eternity!"
The queen raised her staff and trapped Dimentio in an inescapable vortex. The vortex was so strong, not even one with the might of Dimentio could break it. The Queen of the Afterlife chanted,
"Deleting deleting deleting deleting deleting deleting deleting deleting deleting ERASE FILE!"
The vortex closed in around Dimentio, the jester about to be sealed away forever. Right before the final moment…her cell phone went off. The vortex closed abruptly as Queen Jaydes sighed,
"I have to take this, sorry. Hello? …Oh hi, Grams. I'm kinda busy with … what? Luvbi returned?"
Queen Jaydes was astounded. Her daughter teleported to King Grambi after the blinding white light had passed. The anger that was once on Jaydes' face had turned to the smile of a child as she asked,
"How did this happen? … …I have no idea either! Well, tell her I'm coming up! …Oh, this is on speaker? Well then, I'M COMING UP, LUVBI!"
Without thinking, Queen Jaydes turned off her cell phone and called over Dorguy the Third, the gate between Jaydes Temple and Grambi's Temple. Jaydes commanded,
"Dorguy the Third…take me to Grambi's Temple!" Dorguy the Third responded,
"Queen Jaydes…I know this is a bad time with the Floro Sapiens to judge and all, but…can I be promoted to Dorguy the First? 'Dorguy the First' just sounds cooler, ya know?"
"Out of my way, Dorguy!"
Before Dorguy the Third could do anything, Queen Jaydes went through him and arrived at Grambi's Temple. The disappointed Dorguy sighed and became dormant (the Dorguy equivalent of sleeping), leaving Dimentio by his lonesome. The lucky jester said with a confused yet happy tone,
"…Well…that was easier than I'd thought! Now, the entire Minus World is at my disposal! At least until Jaydes remembers me."
Although Dimentio's millenniums-old plan of controlling the universe had failed, he still held his grin as he flew through Hell. Dimentio arrived at the River Twygz, noticing the Pepto Bismol-esque color. He said to himself,
"I need some privacy. This river should do it…"
Dimentio started to approach the river when Charold, the Ferrier across the River Twygz, warned,
"The River Twygz is dangerousssss…" Dimentio replied,
"I should be fine, thanks."
"This River is made of the tearsss of evildoersssss…much like yourself, yesssss? Don't add to the tearsssss!"
Ignoring Charold's warning, Dimentio dived down deep into the river. He put compact magic fields over all of the Underhands that approached him and blew them into nothingness without anyone knowing. Dimentio was glad to use his powers again, and he learned that they were not affected by his death in any way. He said aloud without anyone to hear,
"Easssssy enough. Well, the first thing I need to do is figure out how to escape this wretched place. Let's see…the only one who could give me a Continue is Queen Jaydes, and she wants me in the Labyrinth of Eternity! I need a way to control her…and I need a way to rule the universe once I escape. Perhaps the Light Prognosticus can be of my use again. The Dark book has faded to oblivion, but the Light one is still there. Someone in the world of the living has to find them, but how can I tell them? Wigi boards aren't used both ways."
The jester thought for a moment, snapped his fingers, and said,
"Doopliss! I wonder if my telecommunication powers with him will work from beyond the grave? DOOPLISS?" No one responded for a little while, but then a tiny blue light appeared. The voice of Doopliss sounded,
"…Dimentio? Is that you? You haven't teleport-talked to me since…wow, I guess since 2004! Three years, man! How's it been, Slick?"
Dimentio grinned and knew that his next plan was about to begin.
"Doopliss, I'm glad I can reach you!"
"Wait, do your thing! That thing where you're like 'and I appear like a blah blah blah'! That thing!"
"Um…and I appear, like fresh bacon out of a slaughter house?"
"YES! Anyway, why are we talkin'?"
"I need to ask you something, Doopliss. Is that giant void I created still suspended in the sky like a missile before detonation?"
"No, it went away a few minutes ago…wait, YOU made that thing? You made that thing that made those earthquakes and rumbles? WHOA! You need to fill me in on those things, Slick!"
"I told you to stop calling me that."
"Oh, sorry. Master."
"Much better. Anyway, that void was our ticket to a perfect paradise! And now it is gone, like a frightened turtle caught in the rampaging tides, never to return to the shore!" Laughter from Doopliss, before he caught himself and said,
"Why did it close?"
"Well, I was just killed, but Shadimentio was supposed to keep it going!"
"Well, maybe that people that killed you also killed Shadi…wait…YOU WERE KILLED?"
Oh. Right. He didn't know yet.
"I'm in the Underwhere right now. But Shadimentio was supposed to keep it going until the Void devoured all worlds! You said that when we created it that it would match my strength."
"It DOES match your strength! It does!"
"Then how is it gone?"
"I dunno!"
"Maybe you didn't create it correctly!"
"Maybe you're not as strong as you think!" Dead silence. Doopliss muttered,
"Sorry."
"That's alright. Doopliss, I am concocting a plan…an escape plan. I don't have the details worked out, but I know what needs to be done. And I think it's doable. But I need something to be available to me when I'm free. In the Ancient Forest, you should find a castle belonging to a king named Bowser. Inside of that castle is a dimensional break that should lead you to a place named Flipside. Find a wizard there named Merlon. Merlon is associated with the heroes that killed me – and stopped your plans three years ago, I might add."
"Wait, Mario is the one that killed you? Why didn't you say so! What do you need me to do? I can kill him back if you'd like!"
"No, I'll do that once I am alive again. Merlon the wizard has the Prognosticus, a book filled with legends. I need you to have it by the time I revive."
"Great! I'll find that Prognicus right away!"
"Wait, Doopliss! I also need a couple of servants to help me. I might need some cronies for my plan. Those servants need to be powerful enough to operate, greedy enough to desire a second life, but stupid enough to manipulate. Do you anyone that fits the description?
"Powerful, greedy, stupid…I think I know who can help you."
"You'd have to kill them, of course."
"Gladly! Leave it to me, boss! Ciao!"
"That's my line, Slick! Ciao!"
As the telecommunication ended, the little blue light turned off. No one else, not even Charold, knew what happened. Dimentio said aloud again,
"I hope Doopliss is smart enough. Well, he almost stopped Mario by himself…with Mario's allies, actually…but he should be good enough!"
After talking to his master and accepting his new task, Doopliss went to the Ancient Forest in search of Bowser's Castle. He was close to the castle when he heard a brutish voice say,
"That's exactly why I chose this place! Scary forests are a MUST for final levels!" Then, the voice of a dainty female said,
"Let's just hurry up and find the Marrymore chapel…"
Doopliss had heard that dainty female's voice before, and looked out from behind a tree to see who it was. It was Princess Peach, Bowser, Mario and all of the other heroes. The ghost said to himself,
"That was Princess Peach! And the fat guy that broke through the ceiling back at Shadow Palace! And…Mario! I need to tell Dimentio that they're here! Can I open up that blue light communicator thingy?"
Doopliss concentrated for a few seconds, and the inter-dimensional blue light appeared. Doopliss called,
"Dimentio?"
"…Doopliss? Did you find the Prognosticus already?"
"No, but I found the heroes!"
"Where are they heading to?"
"Uh…the princess said something about a place called Marrymore…"
"Follow them in the shadows and find out where Marrymore is! Do you see a cloaked wizard holding a book with them?"
"Uh…no."
"Well, I'm sure the wizard will catch up to them! Follow them, but don't show yourself until you can see the book!"
"Will do!"
"Good. Have you killed the servants yet?"
During their conversation, Doopliss walked towards a cliff and looked down at a gloomy town below. He recognized the dark place after seeing the steeple nearby that he knew so well. Doopliss said,
"I can kill them once I get that Progticus thingy."
"Great. Good luck, my little minion!"
"See ya later, Sli – er, Master!" The blue light went away as Dimentio said,
"I'm glad I can still talk to Doopliss. And there is still one old friend I need to talk to!"
Dimentio teleported out of the River Twygz to another section of the Underwhere-the deceased plant section. Papery vines shifted and peeled across the floor as Dimentio passed a paper Lava Pirahna, Petey Pirahna and Deku Tree. The place did seem somewhat empty, despite the Pirahna plants that littered the area. One nearby Shadyes asked,
"Where did Floro just go? Where did everyone just go?" Dimentio answered,
"All of those now gone were Floro Sapiens, and they have returned to the living."
"Really? ALL of them were Floro Sapiens? Was I the only Deku Shrub on the block?"
As Dimentio floated away, searching for a different plant life form, the Shadyes of a Deku Shrub turned to the Deku Tree and yelled,
"Deku? How did you die? Oh, wait…Ganan's curse, right?" The tree answered,
"No, actually. Link had the bright idea of using fire to burn down spider webs inside of me. Using fire inside of a tree…real smart."
Back to the main character of this chapter, Dimentio was flying around in search of a certain plant. Eventually, Dimentio found the one he was seeking-King Croacus the First. Dimentio said,
"King Croacus I, how long has it been?"
"Since I wilted. I presume by your presence that you have wilted as well."
"Just ten minutes ago. Those Floro Sprouts you gave me came in handy, by the way!"
"They did?"
"I used one fifteen minutes before my death on the Man in Green!"
"The green man from that dark legend book you wrote?"
"Exactly. I came close to creating my own universe!"
"You haven't forgotten our deal, have you?"
"Of course not! But, in order to escape this Hell and take over the world again, I need more Floro Sprouts."
"More? I gave you some for your plans hundreds of years ago!"
"But with just a few more, I can escape! Then I can destroy all worlds again and make your paradise! You'll have your own planet of Floro Sapiens to rule, with a million Floro Sprouts and an endless supply of fresh water!"
"…I don't know…"
"But I do know. You see, the Cragnons have been polluting your waters. King Croacus IV became insane upon drinking it."
"The Cragnons…poisoned our waters? And corrupted MY great grandson?"
"Well, your grandson died at an early age, and his regent took over for him."
"The royal family tree has been broken?"
"Great plant pun. Anyway, that regent stole your secret ideas for Floro Sprouts! He used them on the Cragnons to enslave them and claimed they were his inventions!"
"That traitor…using the Cragnons as slaves was MY idea, even before they polluted our water supply! Dimentio, I know I have some Floro Sprouts left. I think I can root them up."
"Another great pun, King Croacus."
After the king's roots shifted around and dug in the Earth, five green sprouts appeared.
"Dimentio, I have five left over. Is that enough?"
"That should be plenty! As soon as I escape this Minus World, I will work on creating our universe!"
"Thank you, Dimentio. Ciao!" As Dimentio flew away, he muttered to himself,
"Why does everyone I say that to copy it…?"
Dimentio teleported back towards the entrance of the Underwhere. He hid behind some trees in the background, awaiting his new servants. The jester thought aloud,
"So, the only way to escape this place is through Queen Jaydes and her powers." The Jester pulled out a Floro Sprout.
"If I control Jaydes, I control the key to the door of the dead! …But she is too powerful. Even if I could somehow plant the Floro Sprout in her head without getting caught, she would feel it growing and instantly destroy it. After all, she literally controls life and death. I need a way for her powers to disappear while the sprout grows…but then return once the sprout has grown completely. My mission seems hopeless, like plankton against a military of metallic sharks. How can I escape?"
"Dimentio!" A blue light appeared and Doopliss repeated,
"DIMENTIO!"
"Doopliss? What is it?"
"I got one of those two books you wanted!"
"Two?"
"Well…you said you wanted the Prognostis from that cloaked wizard. But when I got there, there were two wizards with two Prognosticuses…Prognostici…books! So, I tried to take both!"
Dimentio was stunned that the Dark Prognosticus was found. He thought that his book faded away into Oblivion along with Count Bleck and Tippi. Doopliss continued,
"I only managed to get the lighter-colored one. Is that the one you wanted?"
"Yes…yes, it is. It was. Both books would be great to have, though! I could use another plan I wrote in my Dark Prognosticus to rule all worlds, and with the Light Prognosticus in my hands, no heroes could stop me! No one but those pesky Heroes of Light, but I can kill them first…as long as I control Queen Jaydes so that they don't get a continue."
"Well, those Heroes of Light are chasing after me right now, so I have to play defensive, Slick! But as soon as I can, I'll get the darker-colored book!"
"Good. And those servants I asked for?"
Doopliss looked back down at Twilight Town, seeing one specific house with the lights on and two figures inside. Doopliss pulled out a Superbombomb and said,
"Just a moment…GOTCHA, SLICK!"
Doopliss threw his bomb at the house and watched the explosion that ensued. Fire spread across the entire town and the house collapsed completely. Doopliss grinned with the fire reflected in his eyes. Doopliss laughed and chimed,
"I killed them! I killed them! They should be appearing there right now!"
"Thank you, Doopliss!"
"Oops, the heroes are right behind me! Later, Slick!"
"Goodbye, Doopliss!"
As the blue light went away, Dimentio saw something appear by the entrance. Not something…but two beings. Two purple shadowy crones had appeared, one wearing a hat striped blue and the other with a hat striped yellow. Beldam and Marilyn. Dimentio grinned and said to himself,
"These must be my minions!"