Warning: Stronger language used here and it is not recommended to listen to angry music. Sad is debatable and personally, preferable.

Disclaimer: I disclaim anything that isn't mine.

Recap: After a maddening stay in Spirit World, Kurama and Tsukino are back on the trail of The Fox's Rose. However, when they run into a group of cat demons, Kurama believes that he has found the male who marked Tsukino. With his logic flying right out the window due to his anger and sadness, Kurama creates a plan that will no doubt get him killed. Will his killer be Tsukino, another demon, or Keiko and Botan when they find out?

This Is How You Remind Me
Chapter Nine
The Division

Heartbreak

The next morning when I awoke, there was no sign of Kurama, but there were also no sounds of coughing. So far so good, I decided as I looked around for a hint of Kurama's whereabouts. I wasn't as worried as I probably should have been but that was probably because I was excited to be back on the mission. Even after spending the night in a dirty Demon World inn, I was still glad to be out of Spirit World and ready to take on the mission.

My bright outlook was slightly dimmed by the arrival of Kurama as he entered the room using the front door. I can't pin-point exactly why I felt that way since Kurama showed no real signs of being in a bad mood other than being slightly stiff. However, the moment he entered the room I felt the same forbidding feeling as when I was giving him the pills. Perhaps, I somehow sensed that was going to happen.

Kurama also seemed to be wrapped up in his thoughts as he walked towards his bed. He failed to notice that I was awake until I almost shouted good morning at him for a third time. After a moment, he nodded and muttered morning in reply, and then he sat down on his bed and grabbed some breakfast from his bag.

"Did you find Kioshi-san?" I asked as I took grabbed some food from my bag to eat.

He shook his head. "No, he must have run into some of your relatives."

Since he was speaking louder, I heard a slight trace of irritation in his voice. Unsure of the cause of his frustration, I decided to remain quiet until we finished breakfast. I was about to ask what our plan for the day was when I suddenly changed my mind. Talking about the mission then was probably going to worsen his mood due to our lack of success. Instead I said, "We're running low on decent food," I held up a piece of fuzzy green bread for emphasis. "So we might as well go shopping for some more. We can also look for Kioshi-san some more. Maybe Neyuki-san knows where he is." Instantly, I wanted to take back the last part about Kioshi. While Kurama physically gave no signs of hearing me, but his energy had suddenly became more violent and sharp feeling. In that way, it was similar to Rose's energy that had felt like a slap to me.

Kurama's energy quickly calmed down though as he took his pill for the day. However, that threatening aura he was surrounding himself in was still loud and clear. I doubted he even noticed though because it wasn't like him to give any hint of his emotions if Yusuke and Kuwabara were to be believed. If he had noticed, he probably would have cloaked it somehow.

As I sat on my bed wondering about Kurama's odd behaviour, Kurama himself was busying getting ready for the day as he packed his belonging away in his bag.

Finally, I noticed that he was waiting by the door and quickly collected my own things and followed him out into the town. Since we were walking on the dog demon side of Keisatsusho, I wore the cloak and made the slave mark on my wrist visible while Kurama kept an arm around my shoulders. Unlike the last time in the City of Ghosts and Apparitions, he seemed slightly uncomfortable being so close to me. He hid it well, but his arm was stiff around my shoulders, and every so often he would start to pull away before he remembered our cover story.

Soon we had gotten enough food to last us and threw away the rotting food. Just as we were heading to the Nishi to look for Kioshi again, two drunken female dog demons wandered into our path. Blocking me from sight, Kurama tried to walk us pass them. Unfortunately, one of the dogs tripped and landed right in front of us.

With bloodshot eyes, she stared up at Kurama who coldly looked forward and walked around her. Somehow managing to jump to her feet without falling, she ran towards us. "Kurama!" she shouted like a war cry as she ran in front of us. "Damn Spirit Fox! How could you pick a damned-" She tried to slap his face but was blocked by his open palm creating something similar to a 'high-five.' The clapping noise out her words but she was quick to repeat the main idea of her rant. "A mixed-breed! A cat! Filth! You bastard traitor to pick a mutt like her!" For each word she tried to throw a punch at him but with practiced grace he easily blocked.

Then her partner jumped in as well also shouting profanities about Kurama in, what I assumed was, his past life. They shouted together, "Picking a mutt over us you snake!" as they both tried to kick him. By merely taking a step back, Kurama caused the two dog demons to fall on their faces and make their once white coats of fur brown with mud. Suddenly, just as quickly as their rage appeared, it disappeared. They started laughing and throwing mud at each other before standing up and happily walking off signing about airplane people crashing into aliens.

The entire road was silent for a minute after the two drunken dog demons left before it became busy once more as demons moved from store to store looking for food, information, or weapons. Similarly, Kurama and I continued on our way to the Nishi. However, before we reached our destination, we ran into a bit of trouble (cat demons scouting around) and had to take a detour into the park filled with demon eating plants in the middle of my hometown. The only reason the park was still standing was because so far no demon had been able to cut down the plants. Thankfully, Kurama's powers were working, and we were able to walk through the park until we came to the other side where the Nishi was located.

Since it was almost noon, we decided to take a break and eat something before continuing looking for Kioshi. As we ate, I hoped that food had improved Kurama's mood and tried to talk to him. "What will we do if we can't find Kioshi-san?"

Kurama took a bite out of his piece of meat. "We'll find him."

"And if we don't?"

He avoided looking at me and forcefully repeated himself. "We will find him."

Once I had chewed a bit of my own meal, I said, "Maybe the cats know what happened to him or where The Fox's Rose is. I could go ask-"

Kurama shook his head. "No, they would probably catch my scent on you and wonder why it hasn't faded from yesterday. It would lead to awkward questions."

I frowned. "So are we just going to keep looking around the dog side only? If he has been captured then-"

His bangs covered his eyes making it even harder to guess what he was thinking. "Then we accept that and keep looking for The Fox's Rose without his help."

"What if he is in trouble?"

"It is not our problem. Our mission is to only find The Fox's Rose and bring her to Spirit World."

I nodded. "I know that but I don't see why I can't go ask the cats where she is if I wash your scent off of me."

"There isn't a need for that."

"Then what can I do to help?"

He took another bite from his meal, completely uncaring. "Nothing. At this point, you're only getting away."

I frowned again. He was only stating a fact, but the way he said it make me wonder if he was intentionally trying to anger me. Before this, he never said anything that could anger me. He may have done things that made me mad, like throwing me into a lake, but he never verbally tried to anger me. The fact that I still couldn't see his eyes and he was talking in a level, emotionless voice also made me wonder what he was planning. Because of that, I replied, "So I guess you already have a plan and don't need my help?"

In the same level tone, Kurama replied, "Whoever said I needed your help? As far as I know Koenma only sent you to appease Yusuke and the others."

Confusion and anger appeared in me as I wondered why he was suddenly acting so off. I knew that I wasn't very useful right now and that Koenma probably only sent me to get me out of jail but did Kurama really need to tell me that? Taking a deep breath, I tried to calm myself and reasoned that Kurama was only acting like that because he was stressed and was dealing with it like any other fox. By being as infuriating as Hell. "What is your problem?" I mentally slapped myself. I had meant to ask what the plan was but instead my anger got the best of me. At least my curse isn't acting up, I thought to myself as Kurama replied:

"We are going to join the dog side of the war."

I bit back a catlike hiss of annoyance. Either he was a mind-reader or he had just changed the subject to one that made me even angrier. "When was this decided?"

"Last night."

"Why the dogs? Why are we even joining the war at all?"

"We are joining the war because it will be the easiest way to keep you out of trouble and allow me to go after The Fox's Rose. Also, because I'm a fox and you are part bat, it will be easier to join the dogs than the cats."

I couldn't think of anything to say until I remembered the rules of Human World. "I thought we were supposed to avoid fights," I said as I crossed my arms.

Though Kurama wasn't facing me, I was almost positive that he was smirking. "Only in Human World. You should know that unless you fight, you can't live in Demon World."

I glared at him. "Who says that I want to live in Demon World?"

Kurama finally turned to face me, and I almost cowered at the look in his eyes. He looked completely serious but also ruthless. I knew instinctually that if I gave him trouble, he would not show mercy. "Unless we complete this mission, it's either Demon World or Spirit World jail for you. And to complete the mission, you have to listen to me and I say that we are joining the dogs."

If there was one thing that cats hate doing, it's being bossed around by a canine. At that moment, my cat demon blood started to act up, and I suddenly found myself on my feet. "Do you even have any loyalty to the dogs?"

He seemed amused by the idea though he didn't show it. "Of course not. The only thing that matters is that we manage to capture the Fox's Rose."

"So the end justifies the means?"

He nodded. "That is correct."

For a second, Kurama reminded me of Stato as the cruel human looked over at me while half of Genkai's temple burned to the ground. Both were trying to reach a goal and were willing to kill anyone to get to it. The only difference was that Kurama was supposingly on my side, but as he sat there looking like Stato, I wasn't sure that I wanted to be on his side anymore. A shiver ran down my spine as I muttered, "We'll be killing innocent bystanders as well as enemy soldiers."

"Demons are never innocent or bystanders," Kurama said, his face completely blank once more.

Disgust ran over me in waves at the thought of pointless bloodshed and I felt sickened by his attitude. "How the hell would you know? Have you ever interacted with demons other than ones who go looking for trouble?"

Kurama nodded, appearingly bored with the conversation. "Once, and she proved to be not as innocent as I thought."

I glared back. "Did you ever think that you corrupted her?"

Out of the corner of my eye, I thought I saw Kurama's tail twitch, but when I looked towards it, it was laying flat on the ground. Kurama's voice quickly brought my attention back to his face though.

"Tama-chan, you need to calm down."

My eyes narrowed further. "How do you expect me to calm down when you are trying to convince me that I'm useless to the mission and should let you go ahead and help wipe out both the dog and cat demon race as well as any other demons who get caught in the crossfire!?"

In very controlled movements, Kurama slowly stood so that he was towering over me. His blue eyes glared down into mine, and for a moment, I was well aware of how terrifying Kurama The Spirit Fox once was. "I expect you to calm down because it is the truth and the best way we will complete the mission."

I knew that he was trying to scare me into submission but now my bat demon blood was also on the rise. I was not about to kill for no reason, not after accidentally killing two human men as they tried to kill me. After they fell off the building to their death, I decided that I wasn't going to kill. Be killed maybe not but not kill even if that was the only way. He should have known how I would react to the idea of killing since he was the one to comfort me after I saw the two gang members die. But if he did remember that, he was ignoring it and I would just have to subtly remind him that I do not kill.

"Wouldn't it make more sense to join the cats since she is actually on- their- side?" I demanded to know.

Kurama slowly crossed his arms. "Tell me how you plan to trick the cats into believing I'm an ally when I'm a fox and obviously a canine."

I was silent for a moment before I said quietly, slowly, and clearly, "This- is- wrong."

Kurama raised an eyebrow. "What are your ideas then?"

I was silent with no ideas for the mission other than searching for The Fox's Rose. Kurama was right. We had no way to get to her unless we joined one side of the war but then we would be forced to kill. Or Kurama would be at least, since he was a fighter. It was hard to say what I would be forced to do.

He waited a few more seconds before nodding and turning his back to me to grab his things. "Since we still have yet to see Kioshi-san, we'd best go to the recruitment office."

Anger caused by the fact that I had no more options left caused me to clench my fist so tight that my knuckles were white. I had not arguments left to say, and I could never beat him in a fight. However, there was no way that I was going to fight in the war. As Kurama ordered me to follow him, I remained where I was and quietly muttered, "Damn you."

I heard Kurama stop walking and turn around. "Pardon?" he asked, his voice challenging.

Suddenly, I was shouting. "Damn you, Kurama! I'm not going to let you do this! This is wrong! Killing is wrong no matter the reason!"

He was silent for a moment before he asked, "Are you sure you're a demon, Tama-chan?"

Pain added to anger. That bastard bringing up how I acted more human than demon. Even to a mixed-breed in times when humans were more accepted by demons, it was still an insult to be thought to be humanlike. I wouldn't be surprised if my heart actually beat because I acted so human, but that didn't mean that Kurama had to know that. "I could ask you the same question," I spat at him without looking at him.

"Then allow me to ask you another one," he walked over to me and lifted my chin so that I was looking into his eyes. "If you are so sure you are a demon, what kind of demon are you?"

My eyes widened in shock and then narrowed in anger. I tried to slap him, but he caught my arm. When I tried to pull it away from him, he forcefully moved my arm to my side and held it there while his other hand held my face.

"You don't know do you?" he asked.

I kicked his shin and growled when he didn't let go.

"I'm not letting go until you answer my question."

I turned my face and bit his hand, causing him to let go. Without answering him, I walked towards the town in the direction of the cat side. "Have fun with the dogs and bats. I'm sure you'll all get along fine if the rest truly are asses like you."

"Do you really think they like you?"

His question caused me to pause in my steps.

I could almost hear his satisfaction when he continued. "Neyuki-san was probably just playing with your feelings like a normal cat so that she can get information about the bats from you."

I ignored him and was about to take a step away.

"Did I forget to mention that Neichi-kun just wants you to play with?"

Even if he had shouted the words could not have hurt more. My bat and cat demon blood called on me to defend the only side of the war that was actually kind to me and I listened. Turning on my heel, I faced Kurama and gave him the deadliest glare I could muster. "One, cats don't mess with people's heads the same way foxes do. Two, if they wanted information on bats they could ask Rose-san or the bats they have no doubt captured. And three, Neichi-kun does not like me that way!"

Though Kurama's voice showed no signs of it, his eyes were vivid with anger. Once again, I had to stop myself from taking a step back as he replied, "Really? Because from where I was standing he seemed quite interested in your mouth. I suppose you were too distracted by his lips to notice. Living with a curse must be difficult."

This time, I did hiss at him like the cat I partially was even though tears were starting to appear in my eyes. Why was he acting like this now after we were so close in Spirit World? I asked myself. Why now after I had grown so attached to him? "Those are a sign of greeting between any two cat demons. Even if they don't know each other. But an arrogant fox wouldn't know that, now would he?"

He actually frowned, and I felt a small bit of me smile inside that I was able to get him to show some emotion clearly. "If you weren't busy allowing Neichi to lick all over you, you would have realized that I was busying with Ayuri's advances."

Rose's words about him being a womanizer echoed in my head, and I ignored the fact that Ayuri started flirting with Kurama, not the other way around. "Good another girl for your collection then!" I shouted.

I was wishing that he would at least start yelling so that I would submit to his leadership, but he just kept talking in his emotionless voice. If there ever was a time that I missed the human Kurama it was now. At least he would have been able to show some emotion so that I could know what he was thinking without having to guess.

"At least I have honest girls looking at me. How many men ever looked at you that were actually half-way decent?"

"Shut the hell up!"

His eyes were no longer angry but cool and merciless. He wasn't going to hold back the worst of his verbal attacks anymore. "Suppose you have to take what you get though, what with that curse."

"If you think that I'm a whore, come out and say it already then!"

I waited for him to say that but he was silent until he said, "I'll let your actions say it for me."

Tears started to prick at my tears but I tried to hold them back and instead concentrated on my anger instead of the sharp feelings of heartbreak. I was a fool to ever think that he might actually care. "You-"

Kurama's face became thoughtful suddenly, and I was shocked into silence. "While we are on the topic of cats being manipulative, Neyuki-san only taught you some of the customs of the cats to gain your trust and affection. It appears that it worked if you are so willing to fight against me."

"You want to kill innocent demons!"

He blinked at me. "And you think that the cats won't have us do the same? You really are naïve, Tama-chan." He appeared thoughtful again. "Perhaps that is why Neichi is so interested in you. He can see that you're easy to trick and eager to please."

"Just shut up, Kurama!"

"We both know that he doesn't want you for more than sex, Tama-chan. It's best that you face that fact. After all, what male would love you when not even your own birth mother cared."

The last few words were muttered as if he didn't want to say them, but it didn't matter. I still heard him loud and clear.

Stepping forward, I slapped him across the face with all the strength I had. Before he could retaliate, I turned away and ran to the town. Tears started to run from my eyes, and I ran blindly concentrating on not completely breaking down more than where I was going. Finally, I found myself at a safe spot where I knew that Kurama would never find me. Throwing open the door, I ran inside and struggled to lock it before anyone asked why I was entering a dead demon's house. Once the door was locked, I climbed onto what was once my bed and broke down into sobs as confusion attacked me. How in the three worlds had I fallen for that asshole? I asked myself. And more importantly, what did I do to make him become that asshole when he was so sweet before? What did I do?

Day Forty-Two

As she runs away from me, I can't help but take a step towards the direction she ran in. But before as my human and demon instincts cause me to run after her, I take two steps back. Even if I was to go after Tsukino, I wouldn't be able to find her now. She is still wearing Suzuka's cloak that hides her scent, and I don't know her well enough to know where she would go. I should have at least given her some way to contract the others though but there was no way to do it without ruining my plan. Now I have to live with my decision and hope that Neichi is at least a good mate to her and that I can catch The Foxe's Rose so that Tsukino will be free to live as she choices.

Still though, I never thought it would take so much to make her leave. More than once, I almost forgot myself and almost apologized before I spotted her mark and reminded myself that if I don't distance myself she could be killed. Hopefully this is only a human attachment that will vanish in the time I'm separated from her. I managed to forget her once (admittedly with difficultly), and I'll just have to hope I can do it again.

My resolve cemented, I turn back to the forest where a bat demon sits in a tree looking down at me. "You sure you want her to go?" Kioshi asks as he jumps down from the tree. "She's a pretty cute batty-cat."

Mentally drained from the fight, I nod. "It's for the best."

He shrugs. "If you say so, but we'd better hurry before the recruitment office closes."

I nod again and start to follow him but can't help but look over my shoulder before running after him. She'll be safe, I decide. She has to be.

***

We arrive moments later at an old meeting hall built in the time when human and demons wandered both worlds, and demons were free to act as we pleased. Now the hall has fallen into ruin as the roof threatens to collapse, and the walls are green with mould and mildew. As we wait in line, Kioshi plays with his hat.

"You know, I was surprised that you actually had the nerve to go through with it," Kioshi suddenly says causing me to look away from the front of the line and towards him. "When you suggested the idea to me this morning, I thought you were going to crack at the first glare she gave you."

"Why did you think that?" I ask.

"I knew your old man."

A face flashes through my mind. A face blurred by years of forgetting. How could my human father have known this demon? It's not possible… Unless, he isn't referring to my human father… But he can't have known my original father because I didn't even know him. I'm not even sure if my mother knew who he was.

Kioshi continues talking as if he has not noticed my shock. "He had a similar problem with a girl, only whenever she got sad or mad, he instantly collapsed and either made her laugh or forgive him. Probably because he couldn't afford to lose the bet."

I frown. "What bet? Who are you talking about?"

"You know-"

"Name?" A bored voice asks, cutting Kioshi off.

Turning to look in front of us, I realize that we are at the front of the line and a bored dog demon is playing with his pen as he sits at a table waiting for my reply.

"Name?" the dog demon repeats.

"Katsu, from the west fox tribe," I reply.

"Abilities?"

"Plant manipulation."

"Mentor?"

"I'm self taught."

"Reason for joining?"

I pause for a moment, knowing that depending on my answer I will either be able to find Tsukino or be forced to join the war and see it through. "Revenge," I finally reply.

The dog demon nods and gives me my papers. "Welcome to the war. Try not to get killed within the first few minutes.

With that the fate of the mission and Tsukino are sealed. Please have let me picked the right choice.

A/N: So there is it. Kurama being an idiot again, and once again I like this version better. I think it keeps them in character a bit more and it is more believable for them to fight like this. Anyways, I hope you are enjoying the story and thanks for reading and reviewing. I hope to hear from you and see you at the next chapter. See ya!

-D101

P.S Please don't kill me.