In which Arthur is a spazz and proves he is no better than the rest of us.

Arthur stood at the stove, cooking chicken breast. He'd been poking at the meat, wondering if he'd seasoned it right, when he heard a suspicious jingling from behind him. Eyes narrowed, the blond spun to find a certain feline menace on the table, batting and biting at things that did not belong to him.

"Those are my keys, Jasper. Not your play thing," Arthur admonished. He stepped over to the table to snatch up the ring of keys.

Jasper sat up and licked his paw as if he'd done nothing wrong.

Arthur frowned. "These aren't where I left these anyhow. Stop running off with my things. I have enough trouble finding my keys as it is. And why are you on the table? You know you're not allowed."

Jasper gave a rumbling meow of displeasure when Arthur nudged him off his perch. Rather than scurry off, Jasper planted his rump down on the tile and stared up at Arthur. Master and pet locked gazes, neither of them wavering.

Arthur crossed his arms. "Don't give me those eyes. I still haven't forgiven you for using my shoe as your scratching post."

"Mew," Jasper said, round eyes seemingly growing just a bit larger. Arthur's determination faltered, and then the cat just had to go and lean back on its hind legs to stretch its paws on Arthur's leg. The gesture couldn't be mistaken for anything other than, "Pet me. Please. I demand petting."

"You're such a handful," Arthur sighed and leaned down to scratch folded ears.

Thanks to furry distractions, the chicken came out slightly blackened. Overall though, Arthur felt accomplished with his chicken salad. He took the plate with him to eat at his computer desk. There were some things that he wanted to check into. Eating while he worked would be efficient.

"This is mine," Arthur said, referring to his food. He knew Jasper was watching him with those woeful eyes again. "I already gave you yours."

That didn't stop Jasper from watching him intently from the bookshelf while Arthur perused through his email. Most of it was junk of course, but there were some work related ones that he went ahead and dealt with. Afterwards, he rewarded himself with going to YouTube to check out the comments of his newest video. Most of them would usually consist of adoration for Jasper, but there were typically a large handful of viewers who appreciated Arthur's content and wit.

Today, however, Arthur experienced the most severe case of déjà vu.

"You've got to be kidding me," Arthur said, gaping at the screen.

If he thought comments about Alfred were bad enough, getting one from the man himself completely exasperated the situation. Yes, Arthur knew the gamer had subscribed to his channel, but this? Arthur could hardly believe what he was seeing.

But there it was, clear as could be.

AlfredtheHero: "Yo! Awesome video dude, you're really funny and you're cat is cute. I'd love to collab sometime, if your interested. Hit me up!"

Arthur read it, then reread it no less than ten more times. After finally processing more than sheer disbelief, he managed to say faintly, "I don't believe he knows the difference between your and you're."

Whatever could have brought this on? Had Arthur really woken up that morning? This had to be a dream. People like Alfred did not contact people like Arthur with good intentions. A joke then? But what would the gamer have to gain in the first place? On second thought, it was the fact that Alfred was a gamer that made Arthur suspicious. What on earth would a gaming channel want with his vlogging channel? About a cat?

"He's toying with me," Arthur confided in Jasper.

The cat raised its eyebrow incredulously, or that's how Arthur perceived Jasper's whiskered face anyway.

Arthur exhaled heavily, "Yes, I know, he doesn't seem like the type. But it's the cute and innocent looking ones who are always waiting to stab knives in your back. Just look at you for instance."

Arthur shouldn't have been so distracted or offensive, because Jasper took advantage of the opening and swooped up a piece of chicken off his half-eaten plate.

"Oi, get back here you mangy—!"

Too late. Jasper made a mad dash out the door. Arthur could have chased the scoundrel down, but he knew it wouldn't accomplish anything. Defeated, he slid down in his chair and mumbled, "You ungrateful bastard, deserting me in my time of need. I'll invest in a spray bottle. Just you wait. . ."

Immediately, his thoughts wrestled with Alfred's proposition. Yes, Arthur knew that Alfred had subscribed to his channel, had seen Alfred click the button with his own eyes. But Arthur never expected the American would keep watching. Why would he? Alfred had plenty of other interests, surely. It wouldn't be a stretch for him to entirely forget Arthur's videos.

Then a sinking realization had Arthur glancing at the computer nervously.

"Just how many videos has he watched?" Arthur wondered. "Good lord, what has he seen me do?"

Every possibly embarrassing moment from his many vlogs came rushing to him.

Arthur covered his now burning face. "Kill me now. All I film is my sodding cat; he must think I'm nutters. Or desperate—God, kill me now."

On the other hand, Alfred would have no room to talk! The man played video games! He probably locked himself in his room all day and interacted with virtual people because he was socially inept. What, could he not get a real job? He probably never went to a university either, or at least graduated. Arthur could see it now, the idiot flunking out and turning to video games when no one else was there to comfort him.

"That's right! I'm not the pathetic one here!" Arthur declared. He jumped to his feet to point menacingly at the monitor as if it was Alfred's face. "We'll see who's laughing when I'm through with you!"

Spurred by the determination to prove himself superior, Arthur took up Alfred's request and messaged him through the site.

"Hello, Alfred. I thank you for watching my video, and Jasper says thank you for the compliment as well. As for your inquiry to collaborate, I am interested. It would be a good opportunity to reach other fanbases. Please respond at your discretion so that we may commence a plan of action. Have a lovely day."

Arthur smirked and mashed the 'send message' button with vicious satisfaction.

It only took five seconds for him to utterly regret it.

"What have I done?" Arthur whispered in horror.

The following hour saw one Arthur Kirkland pacing around his bedroom in a frantic series of swirls.

"Fuck all, just what was I trying to prove?" Arthur berated himself.

He marched again and again around the end of his bed. Mortified, he feared to so much as glance at his computer, yet he found his eyes straying there every minute. Each time, he would stare at the glowing monitor and remember the horrible mistake he made and he'd groan.

"Stupid, stupid, stupid," Arthur cursed himself, yanking at his hair. "Why do these awful situations always happen to me? He's going to hate me. I wrote too much, didn't I? I shouldn't have said anything. Christ, why did I say 'lovely day'? I could have said 'have a nice day' like a normal person! Lovely sounds far too intimate. He's definitely going to think I'm some weird stalker. Not that I am! I've only watched some of his videos; a mere handful. No more than twenty, I'd wager! I don't think he's that attractive—! Oh, oh damn it all, why did I mention Jasper? 'Jasper says thank you'? Really? Way to sound like a loon, old chap, talking to your cat. God have mercy and strike me down now."

"Meooow."

"Shut it, Jasper. This is your fault entirely."

At some point in lamenting his misery, Jasper had returned and settled on the bed near the center. Those slit eyes of his followed Arthur back and forth until his owner couldn't take it anymore. Arthur flopped back on the bed and stared at the ceiling.

"Is it too late to delete my account?" Arthur asked morosely.

Jasper sniffed at Arthur's cheek, then licked him.

Arthur sighed, "Once again, you're no help."

Eventually, Arthur tired of tickling sandpaper against his skin and pushed the cat away. Unperturbed, Jasper curled up by his side, purring.

"Who knows," Arthur said as he rubbed at Jasper's back, "perhaps he'll never see my message. He might get too many as it is; there's a chance mine will get lost in there somewhere. Or he'll change his mind anyway and we'll forget this every happened."

It was tempting, to fall asleep there, let the stress of the day fade into oblivion. That wouldn't do though. It was still early, not even eight in the evening yet. He'd wake up far too early if he slept now. He should get up, do something productive.

With that in mind, Arthur pushed himself off the bed and carried his dinner plate to the kitchen. He went ahead and washed the few dirtied dishes, and soon he returned to his bedroom to consider whether he wanted to take a shower that night or in the morning. Jasper had moved to the computer desk, sniffing around the monitor.

Arthur frowned. "There're no scraps there, if that's what you're after. Go on then, before you knock something over."

Jasper hopped over to his usual place on the bookshelf and turned to watch his owner. Arthur rolled his eyes and glanced over at his computer.

"Wait a tick," Arthur said, squinting his eyes.

Was it just him or. . .did he have a message?

Arthur's heart stuttered. He fell limply into his chair.

"Maybe it's just spam?" Arthur hoped weakly.

One message from AlfredtheHero.

Arthur's head slowly turned to look at Jasper.

"It's him," he whispered in a high pitch.

"Meow?" Jasper responded almost questioningly.

"Alfred, it's Alfred," Arthur clarified. "He actually read it. And messaged back. Why did he message back? This is not how this is supposed to go! Just—augh, pull yourself together Arthur. You're better than this. So what he messaged you? You're an adult. It was just a business inquiry, nothing more. You can do this."

Despite his motivational words, Arthur stared at the screen doubtfully.

"Ridiculous," Arthur chided before clicking on the message. His heart hammered against his ribcage as he read.

"Hell yeah! Let's come up with a game plan. It'd be faster tho if we use skype. We can go ahead and talk today if you want. What's your skype? Mine is. . ."

Arthur's mind blanked out around there.

"This is actually happening," Arthur murmured.

Tonight. . . Alfred wanted to talk tonight.

"Be right back Jasper, I'm just going to go fall into the ocean now."

I should really be working on finals right now, buuuut….. :)

Sorry for the tease, but at least they've contacted each other now, yeah? I'll get the next chapter out in a couple weeks probably, if you guys want more. Which holy cow, more people are liking this than I thought would. Why are you reading this silly thing? Is it Jasper? You're here just for the cat, aren't you? Just as I suspected…

So, I'm curious, what do you guys think will happen in the next chapter? What would you like to happen between these two dorks? Who knows, it might give me ideas.