GreenNebulae: It seems fitting that I now suffer a vanilla relationship.

On 50 shades of grey, which is what I think one of those last review was about, I will continue to voice my opinions on it for as long as that abusive relationship is held up as a standard to BDSM. It not only violates the laws of BDSM (safe, sane and consensual) it checks off most (if not all) of the checkpoints in EVERY self-help book and phycologist list as signs of an abusive relationship. Just because she wrote some mediocre porn with plot and became popular does not mean I owe her anything. Mein Kamf was a book and people died for it, the Bible is a book and people continuously die from it (no matter the intent, that's semantics) 50 Shades is a book and I pray no submissive and no experimenting person falls victim to an abuser using that book as an excuse. The intent is not where my problem lies, it is the interpretation. It is the blackface of BDSM.

I told myself I would stop commenting on the 50 shades stuff, but I cannot bring myself to. You continue to read my story which means you like it, you continue to comment, which means I haven't reached you. I think it says a lot if that is the literature you favor. There are many books on BDSM. Soft core like Megan Hart's Switch, harder like Sarah Fawkes' Anything He Wants and books that are flat out kama sutras for the kinky life. I could start a blog detailing all the ways that series is a damaging representation of healthy BDSM, but I won't. I had decided to simply spread better BDSM through my stories. So take that however you'd like but it is not evil of me to educate, it is not evil of me to speak up, it is not evil of me to disagree with being turned in Bella Swan's less interesting spin off.

Enjoy the story

When Sheldon enters the room, Amy's on her knees with her hands by her side.

"You look awkward." He voices as he closes and locks the door to her apartment. She shrugs.

"I feel awkward." She turns her head to look at him and he frowns.

"What would be comfortable?" He asks. "You can shift." She takes the permission and shifts so that she's facing him. She lowers her body so she's sitting in sieza, on her legs, and puts her hands in her lap.

"Better?" He moves closer to her, "I doubt you could maintain this position for long."

"No. It would cut off circulation to my lower limbs." Sheldon squats in front of her, running his hand through her hair. She could purr. She presses her head into his hand and smiles.

"Well, you can keep looking up different positions until you find one you like best."

"How long should I be able to stay in it?" She hums as he gently scratches her head.

"However long I want." He kisses her forehead before standing. "Where's my rope?" Amy is certain her heart rate doubles at his words. She lets out a breath.

"Exactly where you left it," she closes her eyes, "Sir."

"Good." He moves to her room to grab it and she smiles. She's anxious for this. "Now, for this activity I want you to voice every thought you have." His footsteps indicate he's next to her. "There was an ambiguity the last time we attempted this that will not be tolerated this time."

"I'm anxious to begin." She starts and he nods.

"Good girl, keep your thoughts vocal, I don't want you to think."

That's so arousing, having Sheldon penetrate her in the deepest of ways, that not even her thoughts were her own. She pauses. She should say that right? No thoughts are hers. Ok. Go.

"That's incredibly arousing: the-the thought that not even my thoughts are my own. You own me, every part of me."

"Good girl."

"I love it when you call me that. I just want to be so good for you; oh I'll be your good girl anytime." He wonders if that's true, if she'll truly do this anywhere at any time.

"You are mine. But I don't own you like property." She is his like the photons in his eyes, temporary, fleeting, he's undeserving of her, but in need. Nothing like what he owns, she is what he cherishes, not like his comic books, but Leonard Nemoy's DNA, but more than that. He fingers the rope in his hands and watches her flush.

"But you do." She pauses and he doesn't know if the thoughts stop as well. "I want you to take me apart and put me together again. I want you to know and own every part of me." He finds the idea arousing. "If you were a drug, I could understand why people throw their lives away for the few seconds."

"You can't mean that." He clenches the rope as she moves closer to him, rising to kneel and resting her head on his clothed leg.

"I ache for you when you are a room away, I want you under my skin," her head presses into his leg so hard he places a hand on the other side of it to caress her. "I knew early on that you were it for me, that's why I stayed when you were frustrating, when any sane person would have left." Sheldon's hand twitches but he wanted her honesty, he can't be mad about it.

"Move back." He instructs and she does. She deflates and bites her lip, but she can't think, her thoughts aren't hers.

"Did I do something wrong?"

"No."

"That's a relief; I would have worried about that." How easy-"It's very easy to just say everything out loud. I feel like I'm babbling."

"Hands." She holds them up and out. He moves them behind her. She shivers.

"Oh, Hoo!" She grins before excitedly rushing the next words out "please tie me up!" He does, and pushes her shoulder down until she's back in sieza. "I'm getting so wet."

"You wore so many layers today." He moves in front of her and she hears him undo his belt. Remembering she closed her eyes of her own will she opens them.

"I'm wishing I didn't."

"I'll remedy that soon, but this is mental. I want to know how that happened last time."

"I understand." She looks to his crotch. "I really want to see your penis right now."

"I didn't want my appearance to be factor."

"It always is." He frowns, so much for the scientific method, human subjects were often unreliable.

"Are primates as unreliable as humans in behavior?"

"Yes, though their motivations are often simpler. You're not attempting to be psychological, are you?"

"Hokum." He spits, "of course not. Leave that to the social sciences." He waves the thought away. "Up." He commands and the air changes. She almost falls trying to stand and he watches. "Eyes." They close and Amy swallows. He checks to make sure the bonds are loose enough.

"Did you figure out what happened to me?"

"Yes." He responds. "Sub space, is the high you were feeling in this room, however, my absence and lack of dominance put you into a sub drop. The hangover to me, if you will."

"I don't understand."

"You should, you are a neurologist."

"To be fair, I can't think very straight right now." He should show her.

"Good girl." He tightly grabs her hair. She tries to move her arms to her head as an instinct to the pain only to remember they are tied. She panics and moves forward slightly only to fall to her knees. Sheldon keeps his grip in her hair, watching her intently. She whimpers but her hips jerk too.

"Talk." He demands.

"I'm so turned on. You own me, throwing my body around without needing force. Putting me on my knees without a word. I want you to take me like you did on the counter. I wish I was naked. My head's so foggy. I don't want to keep talking. It's preventing me from something." She's desperate.

"That something," he releases her head and the absence of pain sends a rush to her head "is subspace." He takes a deep breath. "I'm aware of it now, and will be looking for signs, so you may slip into it if you wish."

"You're better than drugs." She gasps "This is beyond any high, natural or chemical, I'm so sexual with you, like the rest of my life is pouring out in this moment. I've been hypnotized before, and it almost feels like this."

Sheldon had figured out she fell into subspace and coming out of it was why she had such a hard time. He needs to see if he can ease her out of it properly, and the first step of that was to induce it.

"Up." He commands, his voice harsh. She rises without a sound. He closes his eyes to take a breath to fortify himself, and then grabs her shoulder to move her towards a wall.

"You can say stop at any time."

"Go," she moans and he turns her so her back hits the wall. She gasps and he slides a leg between hers and stops. She desperately rubs against him, her hands trapped between her back and the wall. She lets out a desperate breath.

"Stop moving." Sheldon commands and Amy's body stops before she tells it to. She has no thoughts, no desire to do anything but the next thing Sheldon tells her to. He moves his leg against her thighs to provide the gentlest pressure against her vagina and she whimpers. He moves away and she stays against the wall.

"What do you want?"

"You."

Sheldon frowns, not yet.

"I'm going to spank you."

"Please." She begs, not entirely sure what she's begging for.

"Walk forward." She does. "Stop." She does. "Lean forward." There is nothing in her head that says stop, or wait, or she doesn't know how forward to lean, she just leans, ready to fall over if there is nothing there. She doesn't fear she'll fall and the couch back against her head is a confirmation of that trust. He moves flush against her, using his hands to take off her skirt, then her shoes and stockings.

"Spread your legs." She does and moans at the light slap on her ass. Sheldon repeats it and she loses herself to the slight sting on her ass. He hits her again and again, she didn't attempt a count, but within the first few she lost it. She can focus on nothing. She is nothing.

Sheldon watches her float into subspace. He spanks her harder and is surprised to note she is just getting wet. He pauses before hitting her as hard as he did in punishment, this time there is a huge moan and she shudders from it. He slides his fingers along the outside of her panties to feel that they are soaked.

Interesting. Frighteningly so.

He rubs his finger together as he ponders his next course of action.

"Stay." She doesn't move or acknowledge him, and he slips his fingers into her restraints to make sure the blood flow hasn't been cut off.

He wonders if she could orgasm from this, from the sound of his voice. He doesn't think he's conditioned her enough. He swallows as he takes a few steps back. He didn't think he would succeed in this, and his plan was to bring her back down once she got there. Now that she's here, he wants to see if he can finish her without touching her.

He walks up to her and roughly slaps her upper thigh. She spreads her legs slightly more apart. He does it again on her ass. Again. It seems she no longer registers the pain of this, there is just the pleasure. She is truly lost in subspace.

"You're going to cum from this." He shakes off the sting in his hand as he continues to strike her. She trembles, she starts to shake under him. Oddly enough, he can tell its pleasure. It's intense; he wonders if she is thinking and not speaking or if she truly has no thoughts.

"How do you feel?" He asks with a harder slap and she moans as if she's suddenly been given air. She doesn't respond. He repeats the question with another slap and she lets out a long high pitched pleasurable moan.

"I don't know." She purrs. "Amazing."

He has created a singular focus for her, and then he took it away, leaving her floating in nothing but contentment. There is a quiet in her head.

"What do you want?" What does she want? Nothing. She wants whatever he's going to give her. She wants everything.

"Whatever you want."

"Good." There is a powerful slap that has tears springing to her eyes, but she's on the edge of floating again. "Cum." The pain shoots straight to her clit and she's so close. She whimpers, her hands pulling at her restraints. She's so high, high on everything, on nothing, on Sheldon and-whatever that was. Amy arches so hard her head rises from the couch. Sheldon doesn't pause. He slaps her again.

"Cum for me." That's enough. She's crashing. The rush to her head from the pain, the pleasure, the endorphins is too much. She rides out her orgasm for too long, it's too much. Too good. Too much.

"Amy."

She narrows in to the sound of his voice.

"Amy."

Her breathing hadn't been normal; she only knows that because it returns to normal now.

"Amy."

She begins to feel the rope on her arm, the floor under her feet, her bra against her nipples, her soaking panties.

"Amy."

She licks her lips and opens her eyes. She's back on Earth; she never left. Her eyes scan the room and her hands shift uncomfortably.

"Amy. Are you with me?"

"Getting there." She responds honestly. He doesn't say good girl, not yet, she's still crawling out of subspace.

"Focus on me, now." He begins to untie her hands and they fall limply to her side. He grabs her shoulders and move her to stand upright.

"Back aches." She says, unthinkingly. He smiles as he gently turns her to face him.

"Arms up." She raises them without comment. He pulls her shirts over her head and takes her bra off. He grabs the edge of her panties and pulls them down, kneeling as he reached the ground. She puts her hands on his shoulder and shakily steps out of them.

"Do you wish to shower?" She nods,

"Clean me up?" she asks before the thought processes. He stands and kisses her forehead.

"Certainly." He grabs her hand and leads her to the shower. She blurts her thoughts as they come to her as he lathers her with soap, massages her lower back and rinses her off.

When he wraps a towel around her she turns to him, and he can tell from the uncertainty in her eyes that she has dropped out of sub space and the thoughts are racing through her mind.

"We have a bit to talk about." Sheldon starts, "so you put on some pajamas while I warm you up some tea."

It seems like a good idea until Amy is in front of her closet and unable to make a decision. She takes a shuddering breath at her inability to do anything. Sheldon pauses, freezes in his motions at hearing that breath and runs into her room.

"Amy?" he questions and watches her frame shudder with a breath. He underestimated the sub drop. "Come here, please." She turns, the tears in her eyes don't fully form as she takes him in. He hugs her and she twists her head to listen to the rhythm of his heart that brings her comfort.

"Hold on to me until you don't need to anymore, I'm here." Amy squeezes him until it doesn't seem like letting go of him will end the world.

"I'm naked." She says after a few minutes and he nods.

"So smart, my Amy. You want to put on some pajamas?" She nods, so he helps her into hers before she tugs at his shirt. "I should be in pajamas too, shouldn't I?"

"Obviously," she responds softly and they walk over to the living room where she helps him change. He really wants to shower, but given that leaving Amy alone for a minute didn't turn out well, he doubts that a shower will.

"Want to help me?" She does, carefully so. She helps him undress and redress until the sound of boiling water draws her attention away.

"Tea is ready." She moves away from him to shut the stove off and he watches her carefully. She makes them both cups and smiles as she sees Sheldon picking up their clothes. Sheldon: so neat, so perfect, and always taking care of her.

"How do you feel?"

"Warm, fuzzy," she closes her eyes with a smile, "like I pierced my brain with a hot needle." Sheldon taps the couch and the two of them retreat to it.

"Ready to talk about that?" She isn't, she realizes as her hands shake.

"Can we sit and cuddle for a little bit…. First… right now?" And like most things she can manage to form the words to ask for, he gives it to her. Sheldon nods and holds his arm out for her to mold herself to his side.

This is heaven. She understands her monkeys now. She would also scream and wail and fight if someone took Sheldon from her. She's his and he's hers.

Hers.

Mine.

Prove it.

Sheldon twitches as her hand shifts to be grabbing him roughly, possessively, as if sinking her nails in to mark him as territory. She likes pain but he sure doesn't. She shifts and takes his tea away from him to put it on the table.

"I need." She doesn't finish the thought as her eyes close and she slides off the couch to her knees in front of him.

"Oh, you don't have to-" He begins,

"I need to." She interrupts and before he can respond she slides her hands under the waistband of his pajama pants. Sheldon's been hard for a while, but it's gone down now. He lifts his hips for her to take his pants off and her warm hand around him has him letting out a hiss as his head falls back onto the couch.

"Am I a good girl?" Sheldon pushes out a breath.

"Such a good girl, Amy, my little vixen, you're such a good girl." He has to be careful not to bring her back to the space but the words flow from him. "You're taking me to so many new levels. Experiencing sub space like a natural and taking every experience I had planned for you and more. You are constantly shifting parameters I had taken as constants in my world." His words are not enough, and she takes him into her mouth needing to prove to herself that the man that she belonged to belonged to her too. Sheldon cannot bring himself to resist her.

She only seems satisfied once she has milked him dry, and she resumes her position next to him on the couch without pulling up his pants. He wraps an arm around her after he pulls them up.

"Okay," she snuggles into him. "I think I'm ready to talk."

"Good." He's out of breath, but he runs his fingers in circles on her shoulder. "That was intense;" both the subspace and the subsequent blowjob.

"Hoo!" She agrees, her face breaking into a huge smile as she shifts on the couch at the praise.

"So, Point 1." Sheldon begins as he regains control of his breaths. "Kneeling."