Dream
-noun
1. a succession of images, thoughts, or emotions passing through the mind during sleep.
2. an aspiration; goal; aim.
read.
Kotonoha woke up submerged in a strange depression. She didn't know why she was so sad, but her cheeks were wet with tears.
What had she been doing that night? What did she dream about that was so upsetting?
Kotonoha decided to forget about it once she smelled the delicious scent of grilled salmon form downstairs. Kotonoha was quick to exit her room and race down the stairs to find the source of the scent.
Who was cooking breakfast?
Surely it wasn't Kokoro. Perhaps it was Mako-
Who?
Kotonoha stopped and tried to remember. She didn't recall knowing anyone named Mako.
There was an idol named Mako-chan, but why would Kotonoha be thinking about her?
Kotonoha dismissed the thought as she approached a taller woman with short black hair and breasts twice the size of her own. She was wearing an apron and placing the freshly-made breakfast at four places on the kitchen table.
"Good morning, Kotonoha." Mother said, smiling at her. "Don't you think you should be getting dressed? You can't go to school in-"
Kotonoha ran up to Mother and hugged her as hard as she could. She wasn't sure why, but it had felt like an eternity since she'd last seen her. "Mother, I…"
"Kotonoha, what has gotten into you?" She asked, surprised, but happy.
"I don't know…" Kotonoha replied softly, tears escaping her eyes. "…I guess I just had a bad dream… where's father?"
"He should be in the shower right now." Mother thought aloud after a second or two. "In your dream… did something happen to me and your father?"
Kotonoha tried to remember…
Nothing.
"I- I don't know…" She said after a while. "I don't remember."
Mother wrapped her arms around her daughter, lightly caressing her violet head. "Shh… I'm fine. Everyone's fine. We're all okay. Okay?"
Kotonoha nodded happily. "I'm going to go get ready for school."
"That's a good idea." Mother laughed.
Kotonoha gave Father a hug and a kiss on the cheek as she passed him on the stairs.
"What was that all about?" Father asked, smiling.
"I'm just happy to see you." Kotonoha grinned.
She practically tackled Kokoro upon sight, eager to express her new appreciation for her family.
Needless to say, breakfast was very lively. By the time she left, her beloved family almost seemed happy to see her leave. Kotonoha didn't mind that though. She realized she was being kind of annoying, but she didn't care. It was odd, but Kotonoha just felt so happy to be alive and to see the people she loved most.
Smiling, she boarded the train that would take her to school. Kotonoha didn't believe there was anything that could destroy her good mood.
"Good Morning!" Kotonoha said happily.
Kotonoha blushed when she realized how many people were staring at her. She was facing a wall. The other passengers started to whisper.
Kotonoha sat down quietly at the back.
Why did she just say that?
It was almost as if someone…
She shook her head violently. That couldn't be the case.
For the rest of the train ride Kotonoha's ecstasy was replaced with a strange foreboding feeling; almost as if she was forgetting something important.
Dismissing it, Kotonoha exited the train and walked down the street, eager to enjoy another day at Sakakino Academy.
Kotonoha started to walk into her classroom when she was suddenly pulled aside by Mori.
"Geez, Koto-chan. What do you think you're doing?"
"Um… I'm sorry, Mori-san, I was just… uh.. going to class."
Kotonoha felt nervous talking to Mori. She was speaking so informally.
What was she trying to do?
There was a long silence between the two of them. She stared into Mori's eyes with confusion and fear.
Out of nowhere, the brown-haired girl began to laugh.
"What the hell is that?" she giggled. "For someone as smart as you, you sure are an airhead sometimes. That's a second year classroom."
"Huh?" Kotonoha simply answered.
"Hello, we're still first years, remember? Freshmen?"
"Oh yeah, Kotonoha replied, embarrassed.
"And what's with all that formal crap? We're friends, aren't we?"
Kotonoha thought back. Kumi was right. She, Minami, Natsumi, and Otome were all Kotonoha's friends. Kotonoha was the newest addition to their group.
"Back from Mars yet?" Kumi asked, seeing Kotonoha still spaced out.
"Oh, yeah, sorry Kumi." Kotonoha replied. "Let's go."
Kotonoha felt at home in English class. She was one of the best English speakers in her class thanks to the English tutor she saw twice a week.
"Katsura, would you read the next passage?" asked the old woman, strands of grey hair escaping her tight bun as she moved around.
"Ah, yes." Kotonoha replied. "Silently we stood, wind hitting our faces. We didn't know what to think, they didn't know what to expect."
"Thank you, Katsura. Well-done as usual. Obuchi, the next one, please."
Classes dragged on at a snail's pace. Every once in a while, Kotonoha would get a text from Minami or Natsumi. These messages proved to make the tedium of schoolwork all the more tolerable. Kotonoha was thankful to have friends she can chat with during class. It was odd that she felt so appreciative of her commonplace life. However, Kotonoha decided to put that thought aside. After all, it wasn't a bad thing to feel this way. It was great. For the first time in ages, Kotonoha found herself happy to be alive.
"Helooo! Earth to Kotonoha." Minami said, waving her hand in front of Kotonoha's face.
"Huh?" Kotonoha found herself surrounded by her group of friends, all donning very annoyed expressions. "Oh, is it lunch time already?"
"Duh." Natsumi replied.
"What's with all the spacing out?" Kumi asked. "You've been like that all day."
"I bet you're just worried about the big game tomorrow. Right, Kotonoha?" Otome suggested.
"Game?" Kotonoha tried desperately to figure out what Otome meant, but nothing came to mind.
"Duh, Basketball."
"Oh yeah, that's right I am on the Girl's Basketball Team." Kotonoha lit up as she remembered how fun it is to play.
"Geez," Otome sighed. "Our team's ace is this scatterbrain. I swear, Kotonoha. If I didn't love you so much I'd hate your guts."
"Eh? Sounds like someone's playing for the other team!" Kumi laughed.
"As if!" Otome defened.
Amidst the group's laughter the bell rang again, signaling the resumption of class.
"Ah great, now we missed lunch!" Minami pouted.
"That's right," Natsumi added. "You'll have to make it up to us."
Kotonoha put on a wide grin. She knew she had to treat them to something later. It was kind of an unspoken rule in their group that missing lunch meant whoever's fault it was had to pay when they went out.
"I'm just glad it's not me this time." Kumi sighed, looking with disdain at her empty wallet.
"Alright, alright." Kotonoha agreed. "How about karaoke after school then?"
"Sounds good." Otome replied, speaking for the rest of the group.
For the rest of the day, the time just flew by. Kotonoha had a few more classes, school ended, and pretty soon she was singing with her friends. Kotonoha had just finished singing God Knows by Aya Hirano. Relaxing, she sat down and took a sip of her soda.
"Wow, you're incredible, Koto-chan." Kumi praised.
"Well, I don't know about that…" Kotonoha began to blush.
"No, really." added Natsumi, picking up the mic. "You could totally be an idol."
"Like Mako-Mako-Chan?"
"Oh, I love her, sing one by her."
Kotonoha never thought much about her singing voice, but she supposed it was pretty good.
Time once again flew by and pretty soon Kotonoha found herself on the train ride home. It didn't take too long. Pretty soon Kotonoha was at home just in time for dinner.
Spaghetti, her favorite.
Between bites, Kotonoha told her eager family about her day. Father scolded her lightly about treating the other four girls to Karaoke, but Mother didn't seem to mind much, considering their affluence.
After dinner, Kotonoha took a bath and then spoke to Kumi on the phone for about two hours before going to bed. Resting her head on her pillow, Kotonoha reflected on what a great day it had been. It was wonderful. Yet at the same time, she couldn't shake the feeling that she was missing something.
"Oh well, it's probably nothing important."
…
That night Kotonoha dreamt of a life she'd never lived, of a boy she didn't know.
He was her boyfriend. That much she was sure of.
The whole dream was a bit hazy so she never got a good look at his face, but he was there all the same.
The dream itself was odd. She was holding a hand-knit sweater. The boy was lying unconscious next to a burning building. She went to help him and the sweater caught fire. Next she saw herself getting yelled at by her parents.
"For God's sake, Kotonoha, you spent a fortune. What exactly did you buy?"
"Manga." Kotonoha simply replied.
Suddenly, Kotonoha found herself in a hospital. Her boyfriend was lying in one of the beds. She was peeling an apple for him.
"Y'know," Kotonoha said, in a way that seemed to betray her character. "We weren't able to see each other on your birthday. I doubt you were able to properly celebrate with Saionji. Maybe we should go do something together. After all, I still need to give you your present."
The boy began to laugh. "We missed yours too didn't we? I'll be sure to get you something when I get out of here."
Why did they miss each other's birthdays? Who was Saionji?
Next they were a the Fireworks Festival. The two looked on at the beautiful explosions. Kotonoha then whispered something in his ear. Hand in hand, the trekked deep into the forest.
In a clearing, surrounded by trees and shrubbery, Kotonoha leaned her body against a tree, sticking her behind out and eagerly grinning at the boy as he approached.
They were making love… outside! Why were they doing that in public? What if someone else went into the woods? Were they insane?
After one more change of scenery, Kotonoha found herself in her bed with her lover. Their nude bodies held onto one another as they slept. In an almost inaudible fashion, the girl before her spoke. In a quiet sleeptalk she muttered,
"I love you, Makoto-kun."
Kotonoha pantingly shot out of bed. She was dripping with sweat.
"What was that?"
Kotonoha tried, but she could no longer remember the dream she had. Despite that, it left her with an ominous feeling of importance. She flipped her cell phone open. 3:00 AM. There were still a few hours before Kotonoha had to wake up, but it was impossible for her to get back to sleep.
When it was finally time to get ready for school Kotonoha felt exhausted. She had just spent the last three hours or so staring at the ceiling, desperately trying to keep her eyes closed. Groggily, Kotonoha brushed her teeth and hair and got dressed. Walking down the stairs, she joined her family at the breakfast table. Mother cooked a Western breakfast that morning. However, despite the delicious smell of bacon, Kotonoha upheld her lackluster demeanor.
"Onee-chan, are you okay?" Kokoro asked with a mouth full of scrambled eggs.
"Kokoro, don't talk with your mouth full." Father scolded.
"Yes, Father." the little girl pouted.
"Trouble sleeping?" Father asked.
"Yes, a little." Kotonoha replied.
"It was another nightmare, wasn't it?" Mother added, voicing her concern.
"No, no. Nothing like that. I just couldn't sleep, that's all."
"Well I sincerely hope you get a good night's sleep tonight. It's important for kids your age."
"Thank you, Father."
It wasn't as if she could tell them about her dream.
There was nothing to tell.
She couldn't remember anything.
Boarding the train, Kotonoha sighed; plopping down on the nearest seat and opening a translated copy of J.R.R. Tolkien's The Hobbit. If there was one thing Kotonoha liked, it was a good book. Her favorite genres being romance and fantasy.
As she begun to read, Kotonoha had a sudden feeling that she was being watched.
It wasn't necessarily a bad feeling. It was warm, calming, and safe. Rather than the creepy feeling one gets under the gaze of sketchy, older men, this was a protective stare. Someone who Kotonoha could barely see out of the corner of her eye was standing vigilant, ready to stop any suspicious characters or would-be molesters.
With her eyes still glued to the book, she could only make out a blurry figure. Black hair, black suit, red tie. From his height he was probably around her age, which meant that the black suit was probably a uniform from her school. Smiling, Kotonoha looked up toward the boy's direction, hoping to get a better look at her guardian.
No one was there.
It was strange. Kotonoha thought for sure that she saw someone. Her intuitions were rarely wrong.
And that feeling…
That feeling of safety and security. It felt so familiar.
"Kotonoha, I love you."
"Kotonoha? Kotonoha!"
"Wh-what?" Kotonoha's face jumped from her bentou. It was covered in rice and there was a small sausage stuck to her left cheek.
Otome, Natsumi, and Kumi were all staring at her from across the lunch table.
Minami was on her left, peeling the sausage off.
Kotonoha quickly grabbed a napkin and wiped the rice off of her extremely red face.
"Come on, Koto-chan. Are my stories about my boyfriend really that boring?" Kumi asked, clearly annoyed.
"No, of course not," Kotonoha defended. "I've just had kind of a rough night."
"Still stressing about that basketball game?" Natsumi asked.
"I wouldn't be surprised." Otome added. "I hear North High's gone undefeated. But you don't need to worry about that, Kotonoha. With the great Demon Katsura on our team, we just can't lose."
"Ah, no. It- it's not about the game." Kotonoha admitted nervously. "I've… been having these dreams…"
"Dreams?" Kumi asked, intrigued.
"Yeah… and I always seem to wake up either crying or yelling." Thinking about it, Kotonoha slowly began to piece things together. "I can't remember what they're about… but I think they have something to do with… a boy." Kotonoha's face turned even redder.
"Eh? A boy?" Minami asked. "Is he in our class?"
"I don't think so, but I do get the feeling he's someone I've met."
"Is he cute?" Kumi asked.
"I don't remember."
"What does he look like?" asked Natsumi.
"If she knew that, she'd know whether or not he's cute." Kumi pointed out.
"Umm…" Kotonoha started. "Black hair… I remember he had black hair… and he was wearing our school uniform."
"Well that narrows it down." Otome laughed.
"We do live in Japan, after all." Minami added. "Anything else."
"Well… there's only really one other thing I can think of. He had a wide, happy-go-lucky grin on his face."
"What's his name?" Kumi asked, teeming with anticipation.
"I-I think it begins with To-. No wait, that's not right. Ma-. It begins with Ma-."
"Was it Matsushita? "Minami suggested.
"No," Kotonoha replied. "I'm pretty sure it was his first name that began with Ma-"
Otome sadly looked downward; her glum disposition immediately noticed by her surrounding friends.
"Is everything okay, Otome?" Kotonoha asked, her voice thick with concern.
"I'm fine it's just… the guy you're describing… he kinda sounds like… no that's impossible."
"What's impossible?" asked Natsumi.
"What am I saying, that could be anybody. Besides, there's no way she could be dreaming about him."
"Who?" Kumi was at the edge of her seat now.
Otome let out a heavy sigh.
"Well I guess it's alright to tell you guys." Otome finally admitted. "You four are my best friends, after all."
"That's right," Kotonoha agreed. "If there's something bothering you, you can tell us. We'll do anything we can to help."
Otomo nodded her head and began digging through her backpack. Eventually, she pulled out an old Harami Junior High year book.
Kotonoha looked on as she flipped though the pages until she found the one she was looking for.
Tracing the rows with her fingers, Otome stopped at a picture of a black-haired boy.
It was the same one from Kotonoha's dream. She was sure of it.
After an eternity of silence, Otome finally spoke. "This is Makoto Itou. He was the first boy I ever loved."
"That's him." Kotonoha replied. "That's the boy from my dreams." Kotonoha could barely contain her excitement. She was finally getting some much-deserved answers.
"No… you couldn't possibly… know him." Otome sobbingly replied.
"Why's that?" Minami asked. "Is it because he goes to a different high school?"
"No…
It's because last summer…
Makoto Itou died…"