In which Alfred and Arthur talk about everything except what they're supposed to talk about and force me to write ten pages of pure dork. Ugh.

"Breathe in . . . breathe out," Alfred told himself.

He sat at his computer in his bedroom. Amazingly, Arthur had agreed to talk today. Arthur, cat observer extraordinaire, wanted to talk to him. Arthur, the witty British dude, might do a collab video with him.

"Okay, Alfred. Don't fuck this up. You're cool. Just be cool. America and Britain are cool nowadays. He's gonna think you're awesome and heroic. He likes cats, you like cats. It's easy."

Pumped up, Alfred glanced at the clock, waiting for the specified time Arthur had given earlier. While it would be eight o'clock at night for Arthur, it would only be two in the afternoon for Alfred.

"Does that mean I'm about to glimpse into the future?" Alfred pondered. He looked back to the clock after a moment and saw that it was time.

Alfred adjusted his headphones and glasses for the umpteenth time, checking to make sure he hadn't messed up his hair. Then he pressed to call.

The dark screen gave way to blocky fragments at first. Alfred held his breath, watching as the computer finished connecting and the image fully processed into Arthur's face. Arthur sat in a desk chair, looking so stoic that you could mistake him for a picture. He wore a white, long-sleeved button up, and the appearance of neatness would be complete were it not for his ever ruffled blond hair. Arthur's thick brows became heavier over his narrowed gaze. Green eyes, looking a bit downward from the camera, flicked from left to right.

"Hello?" Arthur's crisp accent melted into his ears, voice warm with a hint of tentativeness.

Alfred realized that he had been staring like an idiot.

Oops.

"Uh, yeah! Hey, s'up?" Alfred laughed, hating that his voice came out too high and too nervous. He swallowed, willing himself to regain the control he had just mustered up before the call.

"Oh, good," Arthur breathed out. "I thought it froze up. Can you hear me well enough?"

"Read ya loud and clear!" Alfred beamed, throwing two thumbs up. Immediately after, he felt stupid for the childish gesture. Thankfully though, Arthur's lips tugged up in a smile.

"I'm glad." Arthur nodded, looking down at his desk for a second. Then he cleared his throat, clasped his hands in front of himself, and said, "It's nice to meet you, Alfred."

"You too, Arthur," Alfred returned. His name, spoken in that rich accent, bounced around inside his head over and over, and he couldn't get past the inner mantra of, Oh my god, I'm actually talking to him.

"Right then," he responded, nodding again. "I have to say, I certainly wasn't expecting this to happen today."

"Good unexpected or bad?" Alfred asked. What if Arthur thought he was annoying and was just being polite?

"Good of course, good," Arthur hurried to assure him. "I don't communicate much with the YouTube community, you see. . . Actually, I've never done a collaborative video before, and I have to wonder why you approached me of all people."

"You? Why not you? You're really cool," Alfred blurted.

Arthur glanced away from the computer altogether. "That's. . . Thank you, but you must have realized that I'm not a gamer. I deal primarily with vlogs. Isn't there someone better suited for this?"

"Well I play with my brother sometimes. And there's some Let's Players that I team up with a lot, like Gilbert and Kiku. But they do other things than just gaming, ya know? Like Kiku does anime reviews too, and Gil . . . well, Gil does anything he feels like, from music remixes to public pranking."

"And you?"

"Me?"

"Do you do anything else? Like music and such?" Arthur asked as he stared intently towards the camera.

Alfred gave a sheepish half-smile. "Nah, I'm not much of a music person. I mean, I have an acoustic guitar and I can play a mean harmonica, but I've heard people say that I sound like a dying goat when I try to sing."

Arthur covered his mouth, sounding like he was nearly choking.

"What? You okay?" Alfred asked. Had he said something weird?

"Sorry," he apologized. Alfred got the feeling that he was amused. "Surely you can't be that bad."

"Well I don't think I'm bad. Matt says I'm tone deaf though. Oh, he's my brother. But yeah, I'll stick to games. I bet you would be great at singing though."

"How do you figure?"

"You've got a nice voice," Alfred said, not realizing his smile and tone were too fond.

Arthur's eyes widened and any fidgeting he had been doing before ceased. If Alfred had to describe his expression, it would be that of someone presented with a giant birthday cake after spending all day thinking that everyone forgot about him. That or like he stepped on a Lego. Alfred couldn't decide which, only that it made him fiddle with his fingers restlessly.

"I—I see," Arthur said. He breathed deeply through his nose and exhaled out of his mouth, reminding Alfred of how he himself paced his breathing before making this call. Of course, Arthur probably wasn't doing it to relax. He seemed like such a collected person, confident in everything he did. "I believe we're getting off topic here. Shouldn't we be discussing our collaboration?"

"Oh yeah, sure. I was thinking it didn't matter much about what we do. What's important is personality. So even if you don't game much, it'll still be fun."

"You want to play video games together? I'm sorry. I'm afraid I don't even own a console or anything like that."

"No Playstation? X-box? Nintendo? PC?"

"Let's just say that those sound vaguely familiar."

"Ah, okay. That's okay," Alfred insisted, in case Arthur was embarrassed. Alfred knew that games weren't everyone's way of life. They should be, but he wouldn't force Arthur to do something so out of his comfort zone.

Alfred thrummed his fingers lightly against the keyboard in thought. "There's loads of other things we could do. Maybe something more up your alley. You like cats, I like cats. We could vlog about cats!"

". . .cats?"

"Yeah! You've got Jasper. I could have a cat and vlog too."

Arthur's face pinched, incredulous. "Do . . . pardon me, but do you even have a cat?"

"Nah, but I'm sure I could borrow the neighbor's cat or something when they're not looking."

"Alfred, that's not borrowing. That's catnapping."

"But if they don't find out and I put it right back. . ."

"Alfred! You are not taking the neighbor's cat and that's final!" Arthur hissed, aghast that Alfred would even suggest such a thing. Who knew riling him up would make him look cuter?

Alfred laughed, "Dude, I was just joking. No big deal. We'll do something else."

"Please and thank you," Arthur agreed, leaning back tiredly. He turned his head to look at something beside the computer, something out of view. "Why are you looking at me like that for?"

"What?" Alfred asked tensely. Had Arthur noticed that he was staring a little too much?

Arthur blinked and realized himself. "Oh, sorry, I didn't mean you. I was talking to Jasper."

Alfred almost yanked the cord of his headphones out, jerking forward to see any sign of the kitty. "Is Jasper there? Can he hear me?"

Arthur scowled. Wait no, not scowled. More like a put-out frown tugged down his features. "Yes, he's here. He likes to laze about on my bookshelf while I'm at my computer. And yes, he can hear you. With the way he's looking at me, I dare say he knows we're talking about him."

"Hiiiiii Jasper!"

A tiny meow answered him.

"Dude," Alfred whispered excitedly. "He's talking cat to me."

Arthur snorted. "He tends to do that. A lot." Although he wasn't smiling, there was a touch of affection in his gaze as Arthur watched his pet. His eyes shifted, as if following movement towards the monitor, and soon a brush of fur invaded the camera view, followed by curious sniffing.

"Nosy bugger," Arthur murmured without any real malice. He reached up to pull Jasper away, and even if the cat meowed in protest, he let himself be tucked into his owner's lap. Jasper's round little front paws perched on the desk's surface while large eyes, a similar green to Arthur's actually, watched Alfred curiously.

"Aww, he's precious," Alfred cooed. He leaned forward, elbows propped up and palms pressed against his cheeks, wearing the dorkiest grin ever. "What's it like having the most adorable cat in the world?"

Arthur deadpanned. "Terrifying."

"Don't worry Jasper. I see right through your owner."

"I haven't the slightest idea what you're implying." Arthur sniffed dismissively. However, the way he tickled at Jasper's folded ears spoke volumes.

"I'd love to have a cat," Alfred admitted. "Or a dog."

"Why don't you get one then?"

He shook his head. "Matthew doesn't want to. Said something about wanting to wait until after he graduates. I mean, I guess it makes sense, since he's graduating next year and we might be moving depending on whether he wants to go to graduate school or whatnot. It'd be pretty depressing if we got a pet and then couldn't find a place that allowed pets."

"That's smart. Your brother lives with you then?"

"Yep. Neither of us could really imagine living without the other, ya know? Don't get me wrong, we get on each other's nerves all the time, but we've always been together. Mattie's my best friend."

Arthur smiled sweetly as he absently stroked Jasper's neck. "That's wonderful."

"What about you? You got siblings you're close to?"

His smile dropped like it was hot. "I have four brothers and they're all barmy."

Alfred barked out a laugh. "Oh c'mon."

"Well, Peter isn't that bad," he amended. "He's the youngest. The others are older than me and never let me forget it."

"Oh I know, right? Matt's like two minutes older and he always reminds me."

"What's his major?" Arthur asked quickly, jumping at the opportunity to keep the subject off of him.

"Matt? He does wildlife science. It's like ecology and conservation stuff. Matt's always loved animals and whatnot. Used to bring home strays all the time. He brought home a bear cub one time."

"You're joking."

"I'm for real! We were about ten years old. Matt found it wandering out by the road and thought it was a dog. Dad pretty much had a panic attack and hid in the bathroom. Mom kinda wanted to keep it."

"How the hell do you mistake a bear for a dog?"

"Like I said, we were ten. And the cub wasn't that big. Small enough for Matt to carry around. Mom took pictures."

"At least he grew out of the habit."

"Not really. We went to a zoo last week and security caught him in the polar bear exhibit trying to free them."

"Good God!"

"Okay, he didn't really do that, but he thought about doing it, and it's the thought that counts."

"Alfred! Bleeding hell!"

Alfred laughed so hard that his body bent over to the side. There was just something hilarious about the way the Brit screamed his name like that. He couldn't help but tease. "S-sorry."

"Sod off, you're still laughing!"

"I can't help it. You should have seen your face!"

"What about my face?"

"Your eyes were buggin' out so bad, oh my god dude."

"I should hang up on your sorry arse!"

Alfred sobered up nice and fast. He held his hands up, palms together and beseeching. "N-no wait! Don't go! I'm sorry, really!"

"I'm so sure," Arthur mumbled and Alfred barely caught something along the lines of, taking the piss out of me, whatever that meant. Jasper, grouchy from all the yelling, pawed at his owner until the man let him down. When Arthur sat back up, he frowned at the camera. "Was your other story fabricated as well?"

"No, that one was legit, I swear. But Mattie really did come up with this master plan to free the polar bears. It was funny, but he never goes through with half the stuff he says."

"That sounds like a blessing, from what I hear." Arthur still frowned, but at least he wasn't threatening to hang up anymore. That scared the crap out of Alfred for a minute there. He didn't realize how into the conversation he was getting, forgetting that this was the first time he and Arthur were talking. He needed to be more careful.

With the reminder pressing on his mind, apprehension settled in his muscles once more, making Alfred twitch and bounce his leg up and down. What should he say now? Things had been going so well!

"What about you?" Arthur asked. He sat arms crossed against his chest. "Do you go to the same college as your brother?"

Alfred could have wept in gratitude for Arthur taking the next step for him. "No, I don't. I mean, I used to, but I don't anymore. I went for three semesters and dropped out. But it's not because I'm not smart or anything!"

"I didn't say you weren't," Arthur replied, one bushy brow arched.

"Oh . . ." Well that was awkward. Might as well bang his head against the keyboard, end things now. "Um, I guess I'm used to people assuming that. I was actually rockin' straight A's. Well, in everything but English. I sucked balls in that."

"You weren't an English major then, I take it?"

"Nah, I'll stay with science and math. Those make more sense. I never did decide on a major though. For a while I thought about doing something like Matthew. But what I really wanted to do was go into something engineering related."

"That's . . . I would have never guessed that of you."

"Really? What do I look like I'd be in though?"

For some reason, Arthur became flustered. He glanced away, mouth opening and closing as he tried to answer. "Well, that is, I suppose business perhaps?"

Alfred smirked and nudged the rim of his glasses. "It's the glasses, isn't it?"

And when that flustered Arthur even further, Alfred was even more confused. Arthur sounded like he was strangling, face reddening powerful enough that Alfred could see visibly through the screen.

"Don't sweat it dude," Alfred laughed, not knowing how else to react to the way Arthur was still reeling. "Business isn't a bad guess. Seems boring to me though. I'll stick with science."

"R-right."

"Ya know, I wanted to work at NASA one day."

"NASA?" Arthur repeated, eyes bright and appraising.

"Yeah." Alfred nodded, a smile seeping into his voice. "It was the big dream, ever since I was little and my parents gave me a telescope one year for my birthday. I'd look up at the stars and think about building rockets and helping explore the reaches of the solar system and beyond."

"So why did you give that up?" Arthur asked, voice quiet in Alfred's ear. At some point, the atmosphere had grown hushed and close. "You sound passionate about it."

"In a way, I didn't give it up," Alfred said. He opened his mouth again but lost the will and air to continue.

Sensing something amiss, Arthur tilted forward and prompted, "How so?"

Alfred really hoped he wasn't blushing. That would be humiliating. As it was, he took care to pace his words. Clearing his throat, he said, "I dunno. I don't want you to laugh at me."

"What, like you did at me earlier?" Arthur teased lightly.

Alfred flashed a grin. "C'mon, that was totally different dude. This is kinda personal."

"If that's the case, then . . ." Arthur paused to deliberate a moment before he went on resolutely. "You can tell me, if you wish. I promise not to laugh."

Alfred appreciated it. He nodded slowly and stared down at his keyboard. It'd be easier to talk if he wasn't looking directly at Arthur. Which it made him spazz out that he was actually talking about this with Arthur. Arthur did say that he didn't have to talk about it. Alfred didn't have to, yet he wanted to.

Steeling himself, Alfred began, "I realized that you don't have to build rockets to visit places out of this world. All you need is a video game. Sure, any entertainment avenue can do, like movies and books. But video games are so . . . immersive. And in ways that movies and books can't achieve. It's the ultimate form of escapism, enabling the player to make their own decisions to really become part of that world. More than that though, you get to experience so many things that you'd otherwise never get to be a part of. You bond with the characters and you go on adventures together, and you can fight and keep moving forward. And even if you lose, you'll always have a second chance.

"People like to rag on games a lot, ya know? Saying they're a waste of time, because it's not real, but that's not true at all. They're real because real people made them. Real people took the time and effort to make this, and they put their dreams and souls into making these beautiful worlds filled with incredible characters and storylines that can move you and teach you. It's amazing, what people can create.

"It's one of the reasons why I started my channel. I wanted to share my experiences with other people, and a lot of people liked my videos. A lot of them would say that I was funny or entertaining, but the comments that really got to me were the ones that said, 'Thanks for making this. I was having a bad day but this cheered me up.' It blows my mind to think that, just because I posted a video, I was able to make a difference in someone's life. And video games helped me do that, to reach people. I started getting big on YouTube, and between that and streaming on Twitch, the pay's decent. So I got to thinking, 'Why not stick with this? If I'm happy and it makes other people happy too, then why not?'"

Despite Alfred's earlier fear, Arthur didn't laugh in the slightest. He appeared solemn and considerate, voice nearly touched when he responded, "I know what you mean. I never created my channel for that purpose, nor do I have as many subscribers as you, yet I can't deny that I feel pride whenever I get those sorts of comments."

"I know, right? Makes me feel like hot cocoa inside, all warm and tingly. Makes me glad I posted that first video years ago."

"I've never thought of video games as an altruistic tool. And here you are, showing that your name as 'the hero' isn't some egotistical title."

"Yep! That's me," Alfred grinned and patted his chest. Contrary to his happy demeanor, a sharp twinge of guilt twisted his gut. There were far more self-serving reasons for why he became a YouTuber and he knew it. Arthur didn't have to know that. He'd look at Alfred and call him pathetic.

An edge of bitterness must have filtered through, either in the antsy avoidance of his gaze or brittle smile. Regardless, Arthur waited in wariness until he had to ask, "Is something the matter?"

Alfred hated lying. In fact, he royally sucked at it. If he didn't want to say something, he'd do everything in his power to jump to a different topic, anything to distract others.

"Oh me? Yeah, I'm good. Just thinking about otters. Did you know they hold hands with each other when they sleep to keep from floating away? Pretty sweet, am I right?"

"That's nice and all, but are you sure you were thinking about otters just now?"

When Alfred couldn't sidestep his issues, he blanked out. He couldn't understand how people could straight-faced say, "Yes, I was thinking about otters," when the truth is they're not thinking about otters. Didn't it leave their tongues sour? It was wrong, to lie about otters like that.

"Um . . . yes?" Alfred tried, he really tried.

"You don't sound that confident," he mused. Alfred wanted to muster up the bravado he used when speaking to his thousands of viewers during video game sessions. But Alfred made the mistake of glancing up and, damn it, Arthur was looking at him with the judging eyes of the almighty, and God himself was about to descend from high Heaven to reprimand him for his lying, sinful ways, and for some reason God sounded a lot like a lecturing Matthew in his mind.

Alfred practically vomited out the words, "I kinda sorta wasn't being completely truthful maybe."

If Arthur was angry, he didn't show it. He just glanced once to the side in a thrown way, as if an explanation was at the right of the computer monitor. "About what exactly?"

Alfred plucked his glasses off and cleaned them on the hem of his sweater, a nervous habit. Why was he overreacting and making such a big deal over this out of nowhere? Maybe because this was Arthur and conversation felt natural despite this being their first real interaction. It made Alfred open up about his dreams earlier, and that turned out fine and all. This on the other hand was a bit too close to home.

"About my channel," Alfred confessed. "Everything I said was true though! I just . . . I was just thinking how I started my channel, but it was because of more reasons than that."

"What would that be?" Arthur looked genuinely curious, as if from their short time talking together he had become invested in what Alfred had to say.

When did things start getting so personal, he wondered. They were supposed to be deciding on their collaboration, not this. Talk about way off track.

"It's personal," Alfred said finally. His arms were crossed about his desk and he sat hunched over them. "More than what I was talking about earlier. It's not really something I feel comfortable talking about."

"Oh, is that all then?" Arthur blinked in surprise. "That's fine, Alfred. You're not obligated to tell me anything."

"I . . . I'm not?" Alfred said as if this were news to him. He was just taken aback how chill the Brit was being.

Startled, Arthur laughed sincerely. "Heavens no, lad. I didn't come into this thinking that you would disclose all of your secrets to me. Everyone has something they'd rather not talk about. There's no shame in it. And if anyone expects otherwise, tell them to kindly piss off."

Alfred suddenly felt infinitely better. Grinning more stress-free this time, Alfred said, "Thanks Arthur. You're really cool, ya know that?"

"Of course I am," Arthur smirked, poised and buoyant in his own self-assurance.

Alfred chuckled, unable to help feeling giddy. "Enough about me. I want to hear more about you."

Arthur froze. "Er, what about me?"

"What do you do when you're not vlogging your cat?" The man had to do something. Alfred could see him as the ultimate librarian, sitting on a thrown of books and acting as gatekeeper to the written realms. Or dude, something off the wall like a skydiving instructor! He could see Arthur sailing through the air, his trusty feline strapped to his torso, and descending with a parachute the shape of Jasper's face.

"You mean what do I do for a living?"

"Yeah, that."

Arthur bit his lip and looked away. As Arthur took longer than normal to answer, it occurred to Alfred that his question might be intrusive. What if Arthur was a legit international spy, like James Bond? If he told Alfred, he might have to kill him, and Alfred would rather have a pulse than not.

"Dude, if it's too personal, you don't have to. I get it."

"That's not exactly . . ." Arthur began, then ended up closing his eyes with a sigh. "It's hard to explain, is all. Not to mention that you'll no doubt find it dull."

"Nah, man. If it's about you, I'm sure it's awesome." It didn't matter if Arthur said he worked as a store clerk. The mere fact that this was Arthur would make it interesting.

The utter confidence in Alfred's offhanded statement got to Arthur. He frowned in a way that spoke more of embarrassment than discontent. "You have far too much faith in me. But if you must know, I'm a copyeditor."

"Ooooooooooh."

". . ."

". . ."

"You have no idea what that is, do you?"

"Not a clue."

Arthur's lips mouth quirked up. "Essentially, I'm employed through a publishing company. Before a work is published, it goes through someone like me for editing. I check for errors, consistency, accuracy, whether it's easy to follow, issues in style or structure—the lot of it."

"Like a glorified spellcheck?"

"That's . . . one way of putting it," Arthur conceded, furrowing his brow. "As I said, it's more than simple spellchecking. Depending on budget and time constraints, material goes through the process a number of times until it can ultimately be proofread and then published."

"Soooo, you're basically the last line of defense to keep people from screwing up."

Arthur liked this much better than the spellcheck comparison. "I suppose I am. It's rewarding, to polish pieces and make them shine."

"Dude," Alfred said, voice intense. "You're the little background elf that comes in at night while everyone's sleeping to clean up their messes and finish their work. That's kickass!"

"I'm a brownie now, am I?"

Wait what?

Alfred opened and closed his mouth once, perplexed about where that had come from.

". . .Because you're sweet?" Alfred ventured. British people sure did have some weird analogies.

Now it was Arthur's turn to be confused. "I'm like a brownie, or so you said."

"Uhhh, you don't look that chocolatey or edible to me. Well, you are edible, but cannibalism is still illegal, so—"

"Alfred, you muppet, I meant the hobgoblin creature in folklore that comes out at night and performs chores around the house. Not the chocolatey desert."

"Oh. Haha! I knew that." While Alfred laughed, he questioned as to why Arthur would call him a muppet. Was he a fan of The Muppets?

Arthur covered his face in disappointment. "Somehow I doubt that."

"Changing subject!" Alfred declared, finger pointing high. "I want to ask you something."

Arthur blew out a breath from behind his hand. "No need for preludes. Get on with it then."

"So, okay, this may be hypocritical of me, but I was wondering why you started your channel."

Arthur's hand shifted down to reveal thoughtful shades of jade. He shrugged. "It's not really a big deal. I didn't have much of a reason in the first place."

"The videos were posted somehow."

"Fair enough," Arthur agreed. He sat back and glanced to the side, considering. Alfred thought he might be looking at Jasper. "If I had to pinpoint a catalyst, it would be my brother, Rhys."

"One of the older ones?"

"Indeed. It was around . . . four years ago when I first adopted Jasper as a kitten. You should have seen him; he was the scruffiest little thing and he would ride around in my jacket pocket or on my shoulder."

"Like a parrot?" Alfred perked up, starry eyed. Arthur was a pirate, confirmed.

"Much like one, yes. He doesn't do it often anymore. That aside, I hadn't had him too long before Rhys wanted me to send a video of him. I did, but while I was recording, I was talking to Jasper. I would do that a few times and send the videos to Rhys and he told me the world needed to see."

"What kind of stuff were you saying?"

"The first time? I believe I was chastising Jasper for attempting to consume a grasshopper. I swear, he used to try to eat everything when he was younger. Now he just brings me what he catches and dumps it on me while I'm sleeping as if I'm expected to be happy. He thinks it's amusing."

"He does it because he loves you."

"He has a bothersome way of showing it." Arthur rolled his eyes. He looked off to the side and said, "You hear that, Jasper? Bothersome."

"Mew?"

"Bothersome, bothersome, bothersome," Arthur chanted at his cat, but to Alfred's ears it sounded like more of a coo. It was endearing, to hear how Arthur spoke of his pet when his true intentions would always seep through. It was a commentary that Alfred could listen to for days and not tire of.

"That's it!" Alfred shouted.

Arthur snapped his head around from where he was in the middle of giving Jasper scratchies. "What? What's it?"

"Why don't you just do commentary for our collab? You're good at that, so why not sit in for one of my gaming sessions?"

"What does that entail exactly?"

"I'll play one of the games I've been doing recently, and while I record, I'll have you in the call and you can see what I'm doing and can commentate and talk to me."

"That wouldn't be boring?"

"'Course not! Lots of people do that, and I've done it lots of times before. When I can't convince Matt to play, he'll sometimes sit in for recordings." Alternatively, he could say that when games became too scary, he would plead with Matthew to join him, but not because Alfred was scared! He just needed to have someone see how heroic and unscared he was.

"Alright, that sounds fine."

"Great! If we think of something else to do, we can save that for another time."

"A-another time?" Arthur stammered at the idea that they would do more collabs down the line.

Alfred beamed.

Be honest, was this interesting? 'Cause I have a bad habit of writing too much when I feel like I should be able to accomplish more with less. They talked too much. But I also feel like some may appreciate the in-depthness of their conversation rather than me glossing over with summary parts. Tell me what you think.

Btw, Rhys is the name I give Wales, in case you were wondering. Not that I think he's going to ever show up in person. I do however believe that Arthur should have more than Jasper to talk to in his life. He needs someone to go gossip to about Alfred. . . . . Berwald. I'll give him Berwald.

"And he's so handsome, and he's actually a nice person! What should I do, Berwald?"

"Mm. Make 'em your wife."

From across the ocean blue, Alfred sneezes and gets the strangest urge to binge watch Say Yes to the Dress.