"I liked the kneeling, at least, kneeling in your presence," Amy starts, "waiting for you however was uncomfortable and awkward."
"Okay. Positioning, duration, principle?"
"The positioning made me numb quickly, but it wasn't all bad. I can look into other positions."
"I didn't particularly like seeing you kneel when I walked in. I liked that I was your focus."
"I think it's the idea of my waiting for you to come over, maybe if I was doing something for you, instead of just waiting, it would be better."
"Sound hypothesis."
"I want to keep exploring it." Sheldon's fingers briefly stop moving against her shoulder as he glances around the room. Amy notices and smiles softly.
"Is the mess bothering you?" Sheldon takes the question as the permission it is and kisses Amy on the forehead as he stands from the couch. She rests her head on her arms as she watches him move around to tidy up her apartment.
"Point 2: Subspace"
"I loved subspace. Neurologically, it is interesting to become addicted to a way a person makes you feel. It also seems dangerous. Coming out of it was a bit rough."
"That's point 6, unless you would like to address it now." Sheldon bends to pick up a book Amy had left by the table this morning and knocked down on her way in.
"It can wait." Amy pauses as Sheldon returns the book to the table. "Subspace felt interesting, I'm not entirely sure how to describe it, but it was an out of body experience."
"Hardly, the only thing that left your body was your orgasm." Amy blushes as she buries her head in her hands.
"It's a figure of speech." She smiles. "I liked subspace. I want to spend more time there."
"I enjoyed taking you there, your behavior pattern to certain stimuli changed. For example, and this may breech into point 4 a bit, but you were much more receptive to pain in a pleasurable way. I look forward to evoking more reactions out of you."
"I wish we had engaged in coitus during my time in subspace." Amy looks up at him and he tilts his head.
"You had still been tied up, and had recently ended a spanking." He returns to the couch and she retakes her previous position.
"I believe they would both serve as enhancements to the experience."
"Very well," his hand returns to her shoulder.
"Point 3?"
"Thought restriction." Amy feels a small jolt in remembrance as the memories come to her.
"That was erotic; perhaps my favorite part of the night."
"Interesting."
"I truly felt owned, and I didn't think I would like it as much as I do. I normally would struggle about what to say but I was able to completely expose myself and that felt liberating," Sheldon leans his head back. "It was arousing; the thought is, still, arousing."
"I will take note of that."
"I wouldn't want it all the time," Amy adds quickly, "but once in a while."
"Point 4 is spanking. I thought I wouldn't like it after the punishment involving it but I do." Amy sees his hand clench. "The fact that I like it makes me uncomfortable. Not that my father is one I should take morals from, but not hitting women it something I had always been taught. Discipline is one thing, and I am supposed to want that even less than you, but for pleasure?"
"Hey," Amy sits up and covers his hand with hers. "I enjoy it. Even after the punishment, I look forward to it."
"Amy." He looks straight ahead and she smiles softly. She knows that she has to be comforted and cared for, but she had temporarily forgotten that he did too.
"It brings me pleasure, Sheldon." He doesn't move. "Sheldon, the body releases a mix of chemicals when the body is in pain; one of those being dopamine. You know what that is?"
"Yes, Amy, but heroin and cocaine can also cause those reactions, and you wouldn't encourage that."
"Of course I wouldn't. However, research has shown that the brain's dopamine system is very active when pain is experienced, and in practice, we've observed it to be true. And this isn't bad; it's controlled, and limited. I'm asking for this. Sheldon, I beg for it." Sheldon closes his eyes and nods. "And if you don't want to, you can stop it. I don't mind." Amy watches Sheldon slowly meet her eyes.
"You like it."
"I do." He suddenly wraps her in a hug and places his head in her shoulder.
"I'll think about it."
"Point 5?"
"Related to 4, it is hair pulling."
"Love it. Moving on." Sheldon pulls back.
"Nothing else to add?"
"No." She smiles.
"Point 6 is subdrop." Amy feels her words freeze. How does she describe that feeling of nothingness? The terrible dread she felt, the fact that she felt so separated from Sheldon, like they were worlds apart, even though he was right there. She felt incomplete when he wasn't touching her. She wasn't real when he wasn't touching her.
"It felt terrible. I can imagine it is similar to withdrawal, but I wasn't thinking of much during it. I don't want to do it again."
"Adding a secondary point to that, leaving you alone during drop"
"Don't do it," she closes her eyes. "I can't." and she's back there again. Not good enough. Needy. Incomplete. "I need you there." Not want, like a healthy relationship, where partners only serve to elevate the others, but a need. A need so strong she feels her limbs are being ripped from her when he leaves the room.
"Amy," Sheldon's hand is soothingly running through her hair. "I can't fix a problem I'm not aware of."
"I know," she moves to bury her head in his chest, "but just thinking about it makes want to cry."
"Then cry." Sheldon instructs, "and tell me what the problem is." She feels tears come to her eyes but she blinks them away.
"I feel like I'm nothing when I drop. I can't think. I can't exist without you. It doesn't feel healthy. It's a strong withdrawal from you. I need you with me and touching me." Sheldon twirls the end of her hair around his finger. "It's dread, in my bones. I feel severed from you when you aren't there." Sheldon waits until she is done before shifting on the couch.
"Finally, the question is: is the subspace worth the sub drop." Amy pauses to ponder the thought and Sheldon waits. Finally she sighs.
"No. Not the drop I had the other day."
"Okay." Sheldon nods.
"However, if this is also subdrop, I'm okay with this."
"Care to elaborate?"
"This just feels like drifting, but you are here to anchor me until I'm ready. Before I felt lost."
"So, we will carefully explore subspace, and make sure to leave plenty of time for the drop so you don't have to do any of it alone."
"I think that is for the best."
"Point 7 is Aftercare"
"This?"
"Yes, what activities would you want, what do you find acceptable?"
"I don't know. I just know I can't be alone"
"Well then, we can revisit that next time, it's time for bed. Come along Pond." He holds a hand out to her and she smiles.
"Doctor Who?" Amy asks as she takes it and he smiles back.
"Very good!" He praises as they make their way to the bedroom to sleep.
…
In the morning she is needy. She is touching and kissing him and by the time he is fully awake they are both naked and ready for it. When he wraps his hand around her wrist her face turns pink, so he makes her wait. He gently leads her into subspace and when she is there he makes her kneel on the bed while he fetches the rope.
He ties her wrists together and turns her over. He stands back to look at her waiting for him and does the only thing that feels right in the moment. His hand stings from the force and she moans. Amy shifts her hips back to encourage him and he hardens as her skin pinkness.
"Yes." He whispers as he spanks her again. She moans and he remembers her request for coitus. Not yet. He wants to know how much she can take. He lifts his hand again and she trembles. Again. He swallows as his pupils dilate. Again. He moans with her. He slides a finger into her at the same time he delivers a spank, and another, and before he is aware of it, he is sliding into her to the symphony of her moans.
Coming out of subspace takes less time than he anticipated, and he is there the entire time to guide her down.
"I think I've returned from subspace." Amy yawns as she turns to kiss Sheldon's cheek. He nods as he reads a text from Leonard. He continues running his other hand through her hair.
"How was it?"
"Better. You being here the whole time helped." Amy starts playing with the indents left on her skin, and Sheldon shuts off his screen and places the phone on the bed. She runs her fingers along the pink tinge of her butt cheeks and blushes as she remembers the first few spanks. The skin is warm under her fingers.
You don't hit a woman Sheldon, and you never leave a mark.
"I should have been gentler." He scolds himself as he watches her, but the truth is he craves more and he feels a pressure in his chest at that. Amy shakes her head.
"To the contrary, I find myself wishing you to be less so in the future."
"Odd." He voices as he tries to silence the others in his head. Only Amy matters, only her views and opinions on their intimate acts.
"In a way," she runs her fingers through the marks and shudders. Sheldon takes her hands and licks the sensitive skin and from Amy's pant and then cry of pleasure he has the desire to take her again, so he does.
"Less gentle?" he verifies as he starts moving inside of her. As an answer she bites him, but then realizes Sheldon might not understand, so she nods.
"Yes, please!"
"As you wish."
Less gentle is one way to describe their next round of lovemaking, but Amy considers it lacking. She'd use other words like: passionate, animalistic, rough, and fantastic.
Amy falls asleep again and after his shower Sheldon looks into the room to tell her he is going to prepare food, but he is frozen. He looks to her sleeping form and sees his handy work. Her skin is pink where he spanked her thighs, small bruises forming on her cheeks from when he had her in subspace. The rope marks on her wrists and arms. It's not much, but it causes him to lick his lips in satisfaction, in desire. How many times will his libido get the best of him today? He doesn't fully trust himself and locks his arms behind his back. When she wakes up a minute later he is still standing at the edge of the bed. She moves to get up but he stops her.
"Sheldon?" She pauses. "What's wrong?"
"Lie still, Amy, I'm looking at what I've turned your body into," She looks and sees the small bruises and rope marks, instead of freaking her out they arouse her and her breath leaves her.
"Sheldon, I-I like it." She admits and she watches his Adam's apple bob and his cock jump in the confines of his boxers. He leaves his hands behind his back.
"I find myself aroused by this; it's a very animalistic response, to enjoy my marks on you. I look at the pinkened skin and bursting capillaries and instead of concerned I feel pleased. I feel like this is how you should always be, to physically carry evidence of my passion" Sheldon stumbles on the word, "at all times."
"Sheldon,"
"It is against the gentlemanly nature that I was a part of my upbringing, and can only imagine my thoughts had I seen Misty walking around with those kinds of marks,"
"What would be more gentlemanly than giving your girl pleasure and her desires?" Sheldon swallows.
"Amy."
"Seriously, why give them what they want when you could be giving me what I want?" Sheldon locks eyes with her and swallows. He smiles.
"And what does my lady want?"
"You." She smiles as he crawls over her. He then drops like deadweight on her chest.
"Sheldon!" She laughs as he twists his head to listen to her heartbeat.
"You were not specific in your parameters." Sheldon mumbles into her as he kisses her chest.
"I suppose not." She cedes as she brings her hand up to run it through his hair.