They were going to have to talk about it eventually, but for now, they were existing in escrow, a state of neither together nor apart, although both knew there were questions to be asked and answered. Axel dances like there's more of his soul at roost in his body, now, and everyone notices that, whilst before he was better at melancholy, there is now a new thrust of joy in his movement, a light in his eyes which had dimmed, as if darkness has fled, for now. Larxene often leaves him to dance alone, when they practice, simply because watching him dance is more rewarding than dancing with him, his simple grace and beauty is that obvious. Axel shines with something inner, something which not everyone has, something which glows and transforms everything he does into liquid sunlight, into perfection in movement. Even Leon stops barking orders, stunned into silence, and Larxene assures Axel, afterwards, that she's caught him wiping a tear away when Axel's completely focussed. Neither of them can say whether it's because of the way Axel's dancing has improved, or because he sees something of his lover in the skinny boy.
Roxas doesn't always come to watch, perhaps because people notice him now, as more than Naminé's brother. There's no reason for him still to be here, Axel realises, there's no need for him to stay, as Naminé has decided what she wants to do, has mostly recovered enough to teach the lower classes, but yet he sticks with her, although they now keep separate rooms, Roxas living five minutes downtown and Naminé taking her place with the rest of the tutors who live on campus. But Roxas doesn't go home, and he doesn't seem to even think of it as an option. Axel knows he's resumed his studies, although now realises he has no idea what those are, and that he's got a little part time job doing something or other, that's how he pays for his room. He has no idea why Roxas doesn't just head back home, or to another school, and doesn't want to think about what will happen if he does.
Because Axel is in love. He doesn't need it pointed out to him, and yet half the corps de ballet choose to anyway, because there's always gossip between dancers, and this is something sweeter than someone else's pain, this is the growing bond between the boy they've all adopted as one of their own, and their forthcoming ipremier danseur/i, this is something worth talking about, something which they all want to see. Roxas has easily ingratiated himself into the corps de ballet; he's more like his sister than Axel had thought, easy to talk to, smiling in all the right places in conversations, and whilst he's still a little stilted, everyone seems prepared to forgive that in light of how good he's been with his sister, how much he loves to watch them dance, and how Axel has taken to him. Whilst no one says anything directly to Roxas, because they assume he already knows, there are half-knowing looks thrown around, passed between people as Roxas smiles up at Axel, who shoulders his bag, like they're kids in junior high, in the first forays into relationships.
Axel is realising, quickly, that there's very little he knows about Roxas, but that there's also very little he thinks he won't accept. He doesn't know how many lovers Roxas has had before, and whether any of them were male or not, he does not know what Roxas wants to do, and even Naminé, when he asked her, on that day which now seems so long ago, did not seem to know what qualities Roxas had which could be called a talent. If his own twin doesn't know, what chance does Axel have of finding out, especially whilst this current truce is being upheld, where they talk to each other and around each other, but never venture onto the subject of that kiss, out in the rain, where no one could see and where nothing felt wrong, instead keeping to safe topics like dance and food and books. The redhead has brought himself off a few times, lying in bed with the memory of that kiss, which he realises is pathetic. He's had more than his share of partners, and yet this kiss, with an inexperienced boy, is what he lies in bed and thinks of, growing hard until he has to do something about it. It's not so much the kiss, he knows, but the way Roxas was, then, running in the rain, so free, so fearless, recklessly abandoning all trappings of his usual persona, just, for that moment, being Roxas. Axel would like to get to know that Roxas better, and not just to see whether or not Roxas can bring that same joy and passion out of the rain and into bed, where it can also be just them.
In the stead of having Roxas' gaze on him to focus on, Axel roots himself into the story of the ballet, feeling each emotion course through him, pouring off in waves as he leaps higher than he has before. At the end of the rehearsal, Leon has some choice words for him.
"You're out-dancing Riku."
Leon is nothing if not blunt, but he winces a little when Cloud sighs and thwaps him on the arm.
"I think what he means is… well done. And congratulations." The blond says, and Leon wraps an arm around his waist possessively.
"I'm… getting that good?" Axel asks, honestly surprised. He hasn't been trying extra hard, just… feeling it more, and he realises then, why Naminé always outdanced him, no matter how much pain he put himself through. She knew how to feel this years before he did.
"You're learning what dancing is really about, what it should be about. It's about wearing all your emotions and letting the audience sift through them. They should feel you dance as much as they see it; more, even, if you're that good. Riku doesn't have any of that left in his soul, not since Sora left."
Axel hears the warning there, too, and doesn't look back when he stalks out of the auditorium, good mood dissipating at just that simple reminder. Roxas might not stay. Roxas might not want him. Roxas might take himself off to college somewhere next year, and never come back, or at least, not to visit Axel. Worse, he might take Naminé with him, because she could teach anywhere with her manner, and then Axel truly would be alone. He doesn't make friends easily, and he's desperate to hang onto those he fought for. He knows Naminé would write, would visit, but, he wonders, would Roxas?
His thoughts are curtailed by an arm looking through his, and he's swung around until he's looking at the main player in the theatre of his mind. Roxas grins up at him, and Axel can't help but smile back.
"Want to come see my place?" Roxas says, not a hint of guile in his eyes, and Axel can't help the spike of lust which shoots through him, low in his stomach, although he suspects Roxas doesn't mean what Axel would like him to.
"Sure. Nami okay?"
"She's teaching the rest of today, and I knew you had it free, so…."
"Yeah." Axel says, "I'd like that."
They walk arm in arm for a bit before Roxas looks down at their elbows and blushes, disentangling from the older boy. Roxas' place isn't in a bad area, which surprises Axel, because he's pretty sure Naminé doesn't have much money, and he's not really sure what Roxas could be doing. It's not big, but that's to be expected, but it's neat, clean, well-furnished, and Roxas is smiling nervously, like he can't wait to hear what Axel has to say.
"It's really nice, Rox."
Roxas blushes pink again, and Axel gestures to a closed door.
"Where's that go?"
"Bedroom." Roxas says, looking at his feet, "Want to see?"
"Oh, yeah." Axel says, in a voice so suggestive that they both crack up as Roxas pushes the door open.
They'll have to talk, eventually, Axel thinks, but not now. No, he thinks, looking at colour high in pale cheeks, blond hair in disarray, those eyes alight with strange fire, not now.