Props to the electric phantom, my first reviewer. You rock! Here are some more funny ones. Should it be sad fics next chapter? Because I've got plenty of those...
Enjoy!
Gwaine learned the hard way to never call Percival 'Percy' ever again.
Gwaine learned the hard way to never call Arthur 'Artie' ever again.
Unfortunately, due to Merlin's less-than-intimidating physical presence, he had to endure 'Merly' for some months before Gwaine got sick of it.
Needless to say, when Arthur Pendragon met – or should that be re-met – the real dragon, Merlin was stuck with the worst jobs in the whole of Camelot for three weeks before the young King decided to forgive him.
Gwaine bet his companions that he could drink them all under the table. By the time he actually did drink himself under the table, Merlin was bawling what sounded like some kind of sea shanty at the top of his lungs, Arthur was giggling incessantly, Leon was catatonic, Elyan was chatting up the empty stool next to him and Percival, still very much sober, was cursing. For although he had become significantly richer, he was left with the monumental task of getting the other five very drunk men home.
"Merlin, are you on fire?" Arthur gaped.
"Umm…yes? But I swear there's a very good reason for it!"
"…Enlighten me."
And that was how Merlin's secret was revealed and Arthur's world got flipped upside down.
(Though really, a part of him felt that even though it was an earth-shattering revelation, it wasn't that good of a reason to be on fire.)
Merlin had to put up with a lot, what with being an incredibly powerful warlock, the last Dragonlord, the secret defender of Camelot and having to do so much for so little recognition. Not to mention the fact that Arthur thought he was a cross-dressing coward with a drinking problem.
He put up with all that because he had to. He did however draw the line at washing Gwaine's socks.
No one should have to put up with that.
Uther was amazed. Confounded, even. In his time as King, he had seen many strange occurrences. Very little gave him pause. But he couldn't help but stare at the gangly boy he had given a position in the Royal household to. During Uther's address to the court, the boy had fallen asleep…Standing up.
Oblivious to the King's penetrating stare, he slept on, waking only when Arthur smacked him upside the head.
Uther didn't know what was more amazing: the boy's gravity defying slumber; the fact he managed to save the Crown Prince's life; or, judging by the way the two were amicably bickering, the friendship that had developed between them.
Yes, confounded was the word.
"So, this is the list of all the times you've used magic to save the day?"
Merlin nodded. Arthur had insisted on it, wanting to set the record straight and fully acknowledge the warlock's service to Camelot.
"Well, I've got to say, Merlin, this is quite the list. But perhaps you could clarify something for me."
Arthur stepped forward with a too-big grin on his face and clapped his manservant on the shoulder, leaving his hand there and slowly tightening his grip. Merlin answer was hesitant.
"Sire?"
"It says here that you sometimes caused my assailants to lose their grip on their swords."
"Yes, I've done that quite a lot, actually."
Merlin felt his unease grow as the hand on his shoulder gripped harder.
"Did you really? Well, I too remember inexplicably losing hold of my sword on several occasions. You wouldn't happen to know the cause, would you Merlin?"
"…Umm…"
"And I also recall losing my footing for no good reason, causing me to land face-first in a puddle of mud. And that time my trousers descended in front of the whole council. But my faithful servant wouldn't know anything about that, would he? Hmm?"
"…I'm going to be the target at training today, aren't I?"
Merlin fled the room when the hand on his shoulder suddenly reached for one of the heavy goblets set on the King's table.
"Hurry up, Merlin! Or should that be Dragoon?"
King Arthur and the Knights of Camelot sniggered as they waited for their aged-up sorcerer to catch up. 'Dragoon the Actually-Not-Feeling-All-That-Great' was not amused. He chastised them, but the effect was reduced by the gasping breaths he took between words.
"You – gasp – have –gasp – n – wheeze – no respect for your – gasp – elders!"
"…We're all older than you Merlin."
"Not when I'm like this, you're not!" the temporarily-old man snapped.
"Look, this was your idea. You can either keep going –"
The warlock looked up, dismayed at the idea of continuing. Arthur continued.
"– or Percival can carry you."
Said Knight stepped forward, flexing his muscles and grinning mischievously. All of a sudden, 'Dragoon' straightened up and stepped forward briskly, not liking the idea of being slung over someone's shoulder and carried like a sack of potatoes. He called to his companions cantankerously.
"C'mon, c'mon! Keep up! I haven't got all day!"
Percival nudged Elyan, remarking loudly:
"Pretty spry for an old fella, isn't he?"
The companions sniggered once more as they heard an indignant splutter from their 'elder.'
"I have to WHAT?"
Arthur smirked as he informed his new manservant of his duties.
"As I said, one of your duties will be to help me dress, if I feel I require your assistance.
Merlin regarded his new employer with distaste. Arthur, who'd never been eyed with such open disfavour before, was taken aback by the servant's audacity.
"You do realise who I am, don't you?"
"Yes. You're the prat who I'll be dressing for the foreseeable future," Merlin sighed resignedly.
I'm not really all that proud of the 'Merlin is on fire' one. I wrote it after I had written a depressing one, so it made me laugh at the time. Now, I'm not really sure if it's funny, but I like the idea of Merlin being quite nonchalant while ablaze and Arthur freaks out. I'll stick it in anyway. =P
I love Dragoon The Great. I just love him so much. 3
Angsty/sad ones are probably next. Tell me what you think, and remember: prompts and requests are always welcome!