"Alright there?"

"Yup! Just need to check the audio a bit and we should be good to go."

Arthur nodded though he knew Alfred's attention was elsewhere. He could see the other fiddle around, making adjustments, lost in concentration.

He looks in his element, Arthur thought, his eyes glued to the monitor.

Alfred glowed in soft blue light, glasses vaguely reflecting the settings he worked on as he clicked away. Gone was the timid American he'd met yesterday who faltered over his words and tugged at the cord of his headphones in bouts of nervousness. He'd greeted Arthur today with a smile that could blind the sun (how could teeth be that white?) and joked with him as he set up his equipment for a recording session. It threw Arthur so much that he struggled to say more than a word or two.

"You doing okay today?" Alfred asked suddenly.

Arthur paused. Did Alfred want the truth or a polite response? When acquaintances asked how you were doing, they did so out of obligation, not because they wanted a long-winded tirade about your day.

"Why do you ask?" Arthur responded to stay neutral.

Alfred shrugged, the fabric of his red t-shirt following the rise and fall of his shoulders. "You just seem quiet is all."

Arthur didn't think he'd notice. Did that mean he also noticed how Arthur paid too much attention to the way Alfred's shirt clung to him snuggly? Not that Arthur was being creepy, mind you! It's a perfectly natural thing to notice about a person. It was Alfred's fault anyway for wearing a shirt that tight!

Determined to save face, Arthur forced his gaze away and stared at the spot where Jasper usually laid on the nearby bookshelf. The blasted cat was gone who knew where at the moment, just when Arthur could do with a distraction.

"Do I?" Arthur feigned ignorance. "I must have been lost in thought."

"Long day?"

"You'd be surprised."

"Anything exciting happen?"

Before Arthur could stop himself, he replied casually, "Well, there was that moment where I thought I was going to marry a viking."

It turned out that Alfred was paying attention more than Arthur wagered. Blue eyes fixated directly at the camera and Alfred asked, "What?" in a way that let him know that he had fully captured the other's interest. It equally satisfied and dismayed him, to be in the spotlight.

Arthur forced out a laugh. "Just a silly misunderstanding. It wasn't a date, merely an intervention."

"What?"

"My cat broke into the neighbor's house, you see."

"What?"

"And my other neighbor—he's Swedish—may have happened upon me retrieving him."

"Swedish like the country that has a bunch of guns?"

"That's the Swiss."

"Oh. . . ."

"Yes. At any rate, it was very . . . compromising. And he asked me over for coffee as a cover to couple me and my neighbor together. But that's never going to happen, because we're absolutely the farthest thing from romantically inclined."

As Arthur inwardly shouted at himself to shut up already, that this wasn't interesting at all to Alfred and he was only confusing the poor boy, Alfred placed his palms together, finger tips touching his mouth in a contemplative gesture.

"Okay . . . so where does the viking come in?"

"My neighbor, he's Swedish," Arthur said, as if that answered everything. He picked at the cuff of his sleeve. "And he's . . . large."

Alfred nodded slowly in an appeasing way that said, "I have no idea what you are going on about but I'm going to pretend I am."

Arthur grinned apologetically, "I sound nutters, don't I?"

Alfred snorted loudly before falling into a fit of laughter. Arthur tried to chuckle with him and not feel like the butt of the joke but in truth, this had to be the most awkward conversation of his life, save for the one with Berwald.

If there is a God, Arthur prayed fervently, you have my express permission to strike me down.

"Arthur," Alfred said, practically giggling as he wiped at his eyes under his glasses.

"Y-yes?"

"You have to be, without a doubt, one of the most interesting people I've ever met."

"Oh," Arthur uttered blankly. "Oh . . . um, jolly good."

Alfred snorted again and murmured something about Arthur being so British. Arthur let the comment pass him by, too busy reflecting over this new compliment. An ill-conceived compliment. People weren't supposed to toss around those kinds of words carelessly. Alfred had no idea what he was talking about. They hardly knew each other.

"I'm really quite boring," Arthur affirmed. He had no idea why he was trying to convince Alfred of this when the man, despite all odds, had a good impression of Arthur. But a deep need burned inside Arthur for Alfred to understand the truth. That way, he wouldn't be surprised when Arthur didn't meet his expectations.

"Arthur, you vlog about your cat and manage to make it interesting."

"So? There are thousands upon thousands of cat videos out there. Humans are fascinated by cats. That's nothing new."

"True, but most of those videos don't have a witty British dude giving commentary."

"I fail to see how that hardly matters."

"You have charisma~" Alfred sang, fingers fluttering through the air as if this were some magical quality.

There was no arguing with the stubborn American at this point. Arthur harrumphed and settled for scowling. "Don't you have things to fix?"

"Oh yeah! Can't have the audio messing up. It sucks balls when something messes up, and sometimes I'll have to rerecord things."

"Hn."

The corner of Alfred's lips tugged up in a half-smile as he finished up with his adjustments. "You're not going to be pouting for the whole session, are you?"

"I'm not pouting."

Alfred's smile only widened.

A wave of fog obscured the small, rural town of Silent Hill. James Sunderland received a letter from his wife where she claimed to be waiting for him there, at their special place, but she died three years ago. When he first arrived, the streets and buildings all seemed abandoned, like the cold realm of limbo drank all the life and color from the world. James soon realized that a nightmare hid amidst the quiet atmosphere.

"There are a bunch of monsters running around," Alfred explained to Arthur. "They all look like disfigured people, with missing limbs or too many legs or no faces. You have to get around them as best you can, and then go around the town to solve different puzzles and whatnot."

They'd already dispensed with greeting Alfred's viewers, and now Alfred was bringing Arthur up to speed with the game's plot. It wasn't necessary, as Arthur had been watching Alfred's recent videos. He didn't need to know that though, and Arthur would eat his shoe before he admitted to it.

"And where is this now?" Arthur asked, keeping up appearances. The main protagonist, James, wandered around a darkened office. He had short blond hair, a melancholy demeanor, and wore a forest green jacket. A lady stood off to the side, blonde hair reaching her shoulders and clothes in shades of red.

"We're in a hospital. Some little girl ran in here and we're looking for her. Can't leave a child by itself in a place like this, ya know? Even if she is a brat."

"Isn't that a bit harsh?"

"She stomped on my hand and laughed at my pain. She is the most annoying boss I've encountered so far."

"You let yourself be bested by a little girl?"

"She's vicious. She's almost as evil as Maria here."

James stood by the red-clad lady, pointedly staring at her from less than a foot away. The lady didn't comment about the breach of personal space.

"Maria's the woman?" Arthur clarified.

"Yeah. I found her in town and she keeps following me around. Not only is her name almost exactly like my dead wife's name, Mary, but she even looks just like my wife. And the way she acts is creepy. I think she's a demon sent to seduce me to the dark side."

"She does have a sultry air about her. Just look at that pink, leopard printed miniskirt. Ravishing."

"She's probably going to be the end boss of the game, after she shows her true form. I got my eyes on you, Maria."

Alfred left the room shortly after and exited into a hallway. The flashlight attached to James's front, jacket pocket provided a bleached out glow in the darkened space. Black and white checkered tiles lined the floor, and an occasional wooden bench stood out against cracked, plastered walls. Overall, the place looked dingy, dated, and more than a bit eerie in the silence.

The screen switched for a moment and a worn map came up.

"Alright, if I were a child, where would I hide in a hospital? Any suggestions?"

Arthur glanced over the map at Alfred's request. They were currently in the front of the hospital, surrounded by various labeled rooms like the pharmacy, reception office, and examination rooms. Further to the left was a wing that had what he guessed to be patient rooms, and towards the end were shower rooms, a garden area, and a . . . pool room?

"Do hospitals generally have pools?" Then again, it could have been used for therapy purposes or water births. Arthur doubted that the doctors here would have it for their leisure.

Alfred's voice perked up several notches. "There's a pool here? Sweet, I love swimming!"

"You're not here on holiday, Alfred. You're here to find a lost girl."

"But kids like swimming. Maybe she went in there?"

"This place is abandoned, correct?" Arthur questioned. "Depending on how long it's been and the reason why it's been abandoned, there might not be any water in there."

"So an empty pool? Man, that sucks. That's like getting a hamburger without the meat. No point at all."

"Careful Alfred, you're letting your American show through."

"Patriotic pride, baby! Next it'll rain down red, white, and blue confetti and a cacophony of eagle cries will sound in the distance."

"You know how to use the word 'cacophony' in a sentence properly? Color me surprised."

"What's that? I can't hear you over the sweet song of freedom. Ca-caw! Ca-caw!"

Arthur smiled at the teasing banter. He'd worried that Alfred would take his sarcasm to heart, but it phased him as much as oil on water, giving Arthur more incentive to relax. It was hard not to, around someone like Alfred.

At length, Alfred spotted the cafeteria and all notions of swimming were left behind in the dust. He directed James around the corner and down a long corridor, his and Maria's footsteps echoing in a series of clacks.

"I don't know why you're getting your hopes up," Arthur scoffed. "Any food in there would have wasted away by now. Or eaten by rats."

"You never know," Alfred said optimistically. "Maybe the cafeteria is stuck in an eternal time loop where there's still food and the workers are still there, and it's the only safe haven in this place."

"I'm sure that's exactly what it is. There's definitely not going to be homicidal doctors in there or anything."

"Dude, don't say that. Why would you say that?" Alfred asked, thoroughly spooked.

"It's a hospital in a town filled with monsters. Best not to rule anything out."

"I'm blaming you if there are evil doctors in here," Alfred said before he tried the cafeteria door. Sadly, the lock was broken and the door could not be open. Same went for the kitchen as well. Alfred tried a few times in denial, the doorknob clicking uselessly each time.

"At least you didn't find any homicidal doctors," Arthur consoled.

"Staaaaaahp," Alfred groaned.

Arthur grinned. "Or maybe you'll find nurses instead."

"Arthur."

"Ones with giant needles."

"Why are they giant? No one needs that."

"All the better to poke you with."

Alfred complained more, and though Arthur couldn't see him with the game screen pulled up, he knew Alfred was squirming with every taunt. Arthur chuckled darkly.

"You're so sadistic," Alfred muttered, busily checking other doors and finding most of them broken.

"No, you're just easy to scare."

"Am not! Heroes don't get scared! I don't care if there are homicidal doctors or nurses with big needles. Come at me, bruh!"

Most of the doors turned out to be broken, a few of them simply locked like the wing that led to the patient rooms and pool. The Reception Office remained open, along with the stairwell. They'd already been to the office.

"Stairs it is then," Alfred said, heading through the door. Even with the flashlight, it was darker inside the stairwell than out on the ground floor. One flight of steps led up and another down. Alfred ignored the ones going down.

"Shouldn't you check the basement first?"

Alfred laughed like Arthur had said something crazy. "One of the rules of horror. Never go into the basement. The killer is always lurking in the basement."

Arthur secretly hoped the other floors would be blocked off, just so Alfred would be forced to face his fears and give Arthur some entertainment.

Alfred went up to the next floor and the door opened easily. A rose hue washed this new corridor, giving it a bit more color than the rooms below, if not more ominous as well. It was especially disconcerting when a cringe-worthy static sound erupted as if from a broken radio.

"Oh," Alfred uttered in response to the threatening noise. He spun to look around himself for possible danger and promptly freaked out when he saw slow moving, pale figures creeping out of the darkness.

"Oh my gOD! WHAT ARE THEY?!" Alfred's voice rose with his panic. He didn't stay to find out and escaped back into the relative safety of the stairwell. The sudden return to silence gave the illusion of safety.

"Alfred, what are you doing? Go back in there."

"Are you serious? I'm not doing that!"

Arthur huffed, "How do you expect to get farther if you're hiding?"

"I'm not hiding, just…making a tactical retreat?"

"That's running away in layman's terms."

"Fuck. Okay, I'm not running away, just going to check other things and then I'll come back later." Alfred went to go up to the next floor, but Arthur persisted.

"Alfred, don't walk away from your problems. Face them like a man."

"My problems want to kill me Arthur. They can wait."

"You'll have to go in there eventually. You might as well get it over with. The quicker the better."

"Like ripping off a Band-Aid," Alfred murmured morosely. "One with teeth and claws and vendettas against men who are just looking for their dead wives."

"You have weapons, don't you? Just use those."

"Handguns only go so far when you're surrounded by monsters that want to eat your face off."

"Maybe they don't want to eat your face off," Arthur consoled. "Maybe they just want to maim you."

A hysterical flutter entered Alfred's forced laugh. "Ha. That's sooo much better. I don't think I want to face those things alone."

"You have Maria with you."

"Maria don't do shit."

"Well then," Arthur said, rubbing his forehead. Was Alfred always this difficult? However did he get through previous horror games? "Use her as a decoy. They go after her while you fight them or go around them."

"That's so unheroic."

"That's survival of the fittest."

" . . . I bet you would like the genocide run of Undertale."

"What?"

"Whatever. I can do this. I've fought monsters before. I fought freakin' pyramid head and only died a few times!"

"Pyramid head?" Arthur wondered, trying to think back to the previous videos he'd seen. That sounded familiar. . . .

"It's this monster with a metal pyramid covering his head. Drags around a giant sword. He's like the monster of this game."

"Oh, yes. I see." Arthur nodded as he remembered Alfred facing such a creature. He broke records in pitch with his girlish screeching. "How did a pyramid get on his head?"

"I dunno, aliens? I bet it was aliens."

Eventually, Arthur coaxed Alfred back out of the stairwell. The static noise immediately assaulted their ears and Alfred readied his handgun at the approaching shambling creature down the shadowed hallway. It looked naked at first glance and distinctly humanoid.

"I got bullets!" Alfred declared by way of greeting and fired away. The slim figure down the hall jolted a couple of times, blood pouring from its front when hit. In the next second, a similar figure rounded the corner directly in front of James.

"OH MY GOD!" Alfred shrieked over and over. He faltered in shooting the other one and turned too late to deal with the new threat. The creature's arm jerked up and swatted at James with a long, stick-like weapon, making James grunt in pain.

"WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU?! OH MY GOD! OH DUDE! HOLY SHIT, ARE YOU A NURSE?! YOU'RE A NURSE! ARTHUR, IT'S A FUCKING NURSE! MAYDAY, MAYDAY, REQUESTING AIR SUPPORT! AH, IT'S KILLING ME!"

"Kill it back! Have at it!" Arthur cheered.

"YOU'RE NOT HELPING!"

True as Alfred said—or screamed rather—the creatures were dressed in bloodied nurse attire. The dresses fit them like a second skin, the skirt barely long enough to cover the essentials and expose thin, sickly colored legs. Their heads looked covered with tightly wrapped bindings, and on top were nurse's caps. They both were leaned over to the side, as if they couldn't stand straight, and their heads dangled grotesquely like corpses come to life.

The one assaulting James shrieked in guttural snarls and would have attacked again had Alfred not switched his fire to the closer one. He shot, and again blood poured, the nurse jerking back with every hit until it fell to the ground. Alfred repeated the process with the other and wasn't satisfied until he'd stomped on both of the creatures writhing on the floor, to assure that they wouldn't rise again.

"There are still more? Oh sweet baby Jesus, there's still more," Alfred fretted, looking around the area. Nothing popped out, but they could hear a heavy drumming, reminiscent of an industrial rhythm.

"I don't see anything," Arthur supplied.

"The music and static's still there. That means there's more! Just—why?! Why did it have to be nurses?!"

"This is a hospital after all."

"Shut up! I blame you for this! I hate you! I hate this game! I hate my life! Why am I doing this?! Can we just go play some Goat Simulator? I think that's a nice ide—AAAAAHHH WHERE DID YOU COME FROM? I'M SORRY I DISSED YOUR HOSPITAL, PLEASE DON'T KILL ME! I HAVE TOO MUCH TO LIVE FOR!"

Arthur winced. He would go deaf by the end of this.

This isn't the end of their session, but I thought you all had waited long enough for the next chapter. The reason I chose Silent Hill 2 was because Alfred was already doing a walkthrough of it, and I've heard that it's referred to as one of the best horror games (which is why I think Alfred is playing it in the first place; he wanted to see if it lived up to the hype). I've played through it before and I definitely recommend it.

Speaking of games, Alfred mentioned playing Goat Simulator. It's a game where you're a goat and you run around doing crazy stunts. Alfred played this with Matthew before, and Matt thought it was the stupidest thing that has ever existed.

"Why am I playing as a goat?"

"So you no longer have to fantasize about being a goat."

"Why would anyone fantasize about that?"

"I don't know. I don't judge."

"Alfred, this is the most pointless game you have ever forced me to play."

"My work here is done then."

Speaking of Matthew, let's have a bonus scene!

"OH MY GOD, OH MY GOD, OH MY GOD!"

The chorus of terror seeped through the walls and into the living room where Matthew had parked himself on the couch not too long ago upon returning home from work.

"Ah, so it begins," Matthew commented. Distantly, he worried that Alfred would get a little too loud, but their apartment neighbors on either side of them were usually away at work during the day. It should be okay.

As if to mock him, the door to the apartment knocked three, short raps.

"Please don't be Yao," Matthew prayed, thinking of their fiery landlord. He went to answer the door, breath held and an apology at the ready.

What stood on the other side was far worse than Yao.

"Hello!" the man greeted, smiling pleasantly.

"Oh, Ivan, you're here," Matthew said in surprise. This was one of their neighbors, a neighbor who should have no reason to be standing here.

The taller blond hummed, eyes narrowing slightly. "Why wouldn't I be here?"

"Uh, it's just that you're usually at work around now, that's all!"

He nodded. "I took off early and happened to be passing by when I thought I heard yelling. It sounded like someone was being murdered and I thought I might assist."

Assist in helping the victim or assist in the murder? Matthew thought uneasily. On the outside, he put his best smile on and said, "Thank you for checking, but we're okay here."

"Are you sure? I could have sworn I heard Alfred's pitiful screaming."

"Um, yes, he's fine. I promise."

"MAYDAY, MAYDAY, REQUESTING AIR SUPPORT! AH, IT'S KILLING ME!"

Matthew glanced over his shoulder from where the muffled screams came from Alfred's shut bedroom door. Would Ivan believe that the noise was just a cat? Turning back to Ivan's smug smile, Matthew knew there would be no convincing him otherwise.

"That does not sound fine, Matthew. Are you hiding something from me?" His tone may be light, but Matthew swore he saw dark shadows curling around Ivan.

"T-that won't be necessary! It's just—sorry, Alfred's playing a game right now. I can maybe tell him to keep it down, but he's recording and. . . ." he trailed off when Ivan seemed to grow several inches taller suddenly.

"One of his little games? I see," Ivan giggled. No giggle should sound that creepy. The hairs on the back of Matthew's neck prickled in warning. "It would be a shame to interrupt him."

"Oh, y-yeah. Thanks, he's—"

"But you see, I have just come home from work and wish to relax. How can I do that when I hear an annoying gnat buzzing in my ear?"

"I . . . I don't . . ."

"It would be a shame if Yao had to come deal with this himself."

Matthew waved his hands about. "Wah—Please don't! There's no need for that. I can go tell Alfred—"

"Oh, but it seems that my peace has already been disturbed. However can you make up for it now?"

What was this? Was Ivan hustling him? Would he demand payment? Matthew was just an undergrad with a part-time job! He didn't need more stress! Just what had Alfred done to piss off Ivan this much? Granted, those two had never gotten along, but Matthew didn't think his brother had done anything too horrible recently.

"I'm sorry, I don't know what. . . ."

Yet again, Ivan didn't allow Matthew to finish. With that ever present smile, Ivan latched onto Matthew's wrist and began dragging him down the hall.

"I think you can start making it up by having a late lunch with me. Your treat," Ivan decided, confident that Matthew would agree. And really, what else could Matthew do?

Hang in there, Mattie! Ivan just wants to be friends! I'm sure he's not up to something malicious!