Soul Mates (Schuylerson)

Title: Soul Mates
Series: Hamilton: An American Musical
Pairing: Jefferson/Angelica
Written by: Rikareena/FoxieSango
Posted: 5/11/2017 at 6:45 PM

(A/N: This one can also be considered this a continuation/follow up to "Lost and Found")

"Thooooomaaasss"

He was frozen…couldn't breathe…it was dark…where was he?

"Thoooooomaaassss…"

He opened his mouth…couldn't speak…couldn't scream as he felt sticky tendons of a tar crawl up his legs, his waist. His skin soon became doused with sweat.

"Thooooooomaaasssss"

He looked around frantically. That voice. Maybe…maybe if he could find it, it could lead him out of this…wherever this was…if he…a blinding light! He squinted against the glare before stiffening at what he saw.

There she was, a siren standing in a sheer chemise that elegantly flowed off of her thin arms. Her eyes were closed and her pale skin glowed in the orange dusting of embers at her feet, which slowly grew into flames licking at her ankles…her shins…her knees. His eyes grew wide as he reached for her…no he…

He couldn't lose her again!

"M-m…ah!" his voice was shot, a squeak against his vocal chords. He had to get to her!

She opened her eyes—lumps of coal darker than the void—and smiled at him sadly as she lifted her hand, slender fingers reaching for him. He could hear his pores screaming at the hot, slime practically pulling off his skin as it slinked up his body. He reached for her in vain, only to watch helplessly as her fingers disintegrated into sand before him.

"M-MARTHA!" he shot upright with a scream, heart battering against his rib cage in its attempt to escape. His breath caught in his throat; pupils were as constricted as his lungs felt, and his tongue dry against the roof of his mouth.

Where was she?! He had to get to her! Had to save her! Where?

A soft hand pressed gently against his lower back and he jumped, nearly bashing the person in the face as the sheets tangled around his legs in his haste to get away. He almost fell off the bed; his vision was blurry until the figure of the person next to him took shape. Her tousled mess of hair hung loosely about her face as she stared at him with worried eyes.

A-angelica…

"Thomas…you…" she started.

He choked and grit his teeth, unable hold back the tears as they welled up in his eyes and poured down, scalding his cheeks.

"A-Angie…" he squeaked, falling forward to wrap his arms around her form like a vice and burying his head against her chest, seeking some anchor. She was startled; he'd never showed this vulnerable side of himself to anyone…not even her. Still, she brought her hands up and gently rubbed his bare back.

"Thomas….shhhh…it's okay. I've got you…" she said. He sobbed against her breast. She said nothing, just continued to rub his back calmly and to gently massage his head through his curls. That always soothed him.

Thomas struggled to regain some semblance of his sanity. He still could hear her voice ringing in his ears, mixed with the shattering of glass. Why? Why was she haunting him now? After all this time?

Why couldn't she leave him be?

"I can't…I—"

"Shhh…it's alright. Just breathe Thomas. I've got you, breathe…" Angelica said softly, before humming a gentle tune her mother often sang to her and her sisters as a lullaby. And it took a while, but she soon felt Thomas's breaths start to even out against her form. She smiled softly and continued to rub his head before quietly singing the lyrics of the French melody she knew so well.

Thomas had his eyes closed as he took in the warmth of his companion, along with the steady, strong beat of her heart. He synchronized his breathing with hers.

A beat.

He opened his eyes.

"….You shouldn't be here," he whispered, his actions contradicting his words as he seemingly tightened his grip. Her lips pressed into a thin line.

"I'm here because I want to be," she said gently. His head shook against her torso.

"No I….this…it's not fair to you." Or to her. "I-I'm taking advantage of you."

"You're not."

"I AM, Angie! Damn-it! I brought you into this when I shouldn't have! I—"

"Stop it. Don't patronize me and act like I didn't have a voice in this, Thomas. I'm not some fragile flower. That's what's fucking wrong with men nowadays—you all think everything revolves around you. Don't you know me at all by now? I'm with you because I chose to be here." she said. Her voice was tight, but not angry. There was silence and he could only chuckle.

She was right.

He then took a breath and closed his eyes as he tried regain control of his emotions. It only made things worse as he could see Martha behind his eyelids. He let out a shuddering sob.

"…I promised her I wouldn't have another…" he couldn't finish his sentence. God, he felt like he was betraying her. Angelica pulled her arms back and gently took his shoulders in her hands, pulling him to sit upright. She then took his thin face in her fingers and pressed her forehead against his. She gave a small smile.

"God, your heart is so sensitive," she said. That only made him shudder more.

"Shhh. Thomas. You still love her."

"I-I'm sorry, I…."

"Don't apologize. What kind of soul mate would you for her be if you didn't?" she asked. His eyes grew wide and he glanced up at Angelica. She shrugged and continued,

"I could never take her place. I wouldn't want to. I'm not her. She's lucky to have had you. I came to term with the fact long ago that you will truly, always be hers." His gasped at this and shook his head, grasping Angelica's hands.

"N-no Ange, you—I" but she cut him off, shaking her head.

"We could never have what you two had, and that's okay. ….I'll…I'm willing to take whatever you can give me. I only hope she trusts me with your heart as much as you have," she added, squeezing his hands. She brought her left hand up to his face again and leaned forward to press the gentlest of kiss against his lips, a warmth that she held before pulling back with a soft smack. She pressed one more to the corner of his lips.

"She would want you to be happy. Don't patronize her either, even in memory. Women don't like that, even from the beyond," she said, a light tone in her voice. The tears came even faster as Thomas took Angelica's face in his hands and frantically meshed his mouth against hers heatedly. He wrapped her form in his arms before burying his face against her neck and allowing himself to sob against her skin.

He didn't deserve her.

He hadn't deserved Martha.

Why did God bless a wrecked demon like him with two cherished angels in his lifetime?

Reviews are welcome!