WARNING! The format for this chapter is wonky, since I tried to mimic the format of a youtube comment's section, but Fanfiction isn't that versatile. *cries into the abyss* If you don't want to put up with that, that's fine. No real plot progression here. Just comment section wackiness.
I did try my best though. Please note that horizontal lines separate the comment-conversations.
Shiningpink 1 hour ago
Aww, it's okay Alfred! Hang in there! To be honest though, I was hoping Mattie would join him for this, but Arthur's really funny!
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Lluvia Di'Noche 1 hour ago
Who's Mattie?
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Shiningpink 1 hour ago
Alfred's brother! They play together sometimes. Oh my gosh, you should check out them playing resident evil 6. Mattie gets so sassy.
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Lluvia Di'Noche 1 hour ago
Oh yeah, I know who you mean now. I never remember his name so I call him Alfred number 2.
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thenameyouforgot 48 minutes ago
I know you've done the pacifist run of Undertale, but could you do the genocide run? With Arthur?
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Space Dugong 31 minutes ago
I would love that! I have a feeling that it would mostly be Arthur evil cackling while Alfred is sobbing.
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thenameyouforgot 28 minutes ago
Well we do love to see Alfred suffer :)
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AlfredtheHero 26 minutes ago
Plz no
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exca314 2 hours ago
What happened with you and Kiku? Why don't you guys do vids together anymore?
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settingitoff 2 hours ago
They do sometimes. They're both just busy. Kiku mainly does reviews anyway.
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ChrisRockArmsRedfield 2 hours ago
kiku would have been better here, this other guy doesn't know shit about games
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exca314 2 hours ago
I didn't say Arthur was bad… Just that I would have liked to see Kiku more.
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Let'sDoOurBest 2 hours ago
+ChristRockArmsRedfield It's a matter of opinion really. I liked the fact that Arthur isn't a gamer. It gives a different perspective. And they're interactions were cute! Totally ship worthy.
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ChrisRockArmsRedfield 2 hours ago
+Let'sDoOurBest stfu with your gay bullshit. all I was saying was that kiku actually knows what he's doing. but it's people like you who are ruining let's players.
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Let'sDoOurBest 2 hours ago
+ChristRockArmsRedfield Um, what?
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ChrisRockArmsRedfield 2 hours ago
+Let'sDoOurBest alfred's not gay, so leave your "opinions" to yourself
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settingitoff 2 hours ago
I think someone needs a nap.
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SecretWishX 1 hour ago
THIS WAS SO AWESOME! I can't get over that moment when Alfred was getting chased and Arthur kept telling him to run inside the elevator.
Arthur: "The lift! The lift is right there!"
Alfred: "WHAT DO YOU WANT ME TO LIFT?!"
And then it turns out it's broken anyway. XD
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Motivation is Dying 40 minutes ago
Arthur: *explains what a lift is*
Alfred: "…..your Britishness almost cost me my life."
I died.
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An Arm and a Leg 37 minutes ago
My favorite moment was when they had to go all the way back to the locker room with the bear just to find the examination room key. Alfred was so salty, and then Arthur reminding Alfred not to use obscene language in front of the bear.
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Motivation is Dying 33 minutes ago
Alfred: "Let's adopt this bear child."
Arthur: "I tried to but you didn't want to, remember?"
Alfred: "Game mechanics, Arthur. Game mechanics."
Arthur: "You just tell that to Rupert."
Alfred: "You named the bear Rupert?"
Arthur: *gets cutely defensive*
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Silent Searcher 3 hours ago
This is bringing back flashbacks of when I first played this game. I never did beat it. If you get through this all the way Alfred, you have my respect.
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SonoSvegliato 3 hours ago
every time Alfred screams I do too
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Missingwings 3 hours ago
Same. Meanwhile, Arthur's just, "Charge the enemy!" Haha, I hope he joins Alfred for more.
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SonoSvegliato 3 hours ago
+Missingwings I get the feeling that Arthur doesn't feel fear, he'd be a better character than James to watch going through silent hill, just "are you honestly spitting acid at me right now? and here I thought we could be civil"
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Missingwings 2 hours ago
+SonoSvegliato O_O That'd be unreal. Arthur's not even human.
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AlfredtheHero 2 hours ago
Have I ever mentioned this theory I have that all British people are aliens?
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PrussianKing 1 hour ago
omg, dis Al guy iz so funy, he play so cool games
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AlfredtheHero 1 hour ago
GO BACK TO YOUR OWN CHANNEL, GILBERT!
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PrussianKing 1 hour ago
SAY THAT TO MY FACE, BITCH! I swear, kids today have no respect for their elders.
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AlfredtheHero 1 hour ago
:D I love you Gil
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PrussianKing 58 minutes ago
Love you too, babe. ;)
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SomethingMoreQ 2 hours ago
Can we get more game commentary with Arthur's cat? Alfred, you're entertaining as always. And Arthur's hilarious and I'm going to subscribe to his channel. But that cat . . .
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PorcelanaRota 2 hours ago
I honestly wasn't expecting to hear that first meow. Everything's deadly quiet and then…."Mraaaw!" Made me jump.
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SomethingMoreQ 2 hours ago
It made me laugh more than anything. The way they included him in the conversation afterwards too, like they could understand him.
And at least Alfred doesn't have to stop for cat therapy with Arthur's cat there. :)
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wasabi cake 3 hours ago
How much you want to bet that people are going to write fanfictions of these two?
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LeFay Strent 3 hours ago
I will. I will do it. These two are too cute not to.
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Tirainy 3 hours ago
We need to come up with ship names.
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Iron Rose Writer 3 hours ago
How about "Titanic" since this ship is doomed to sink. Alfred lives in the US, and Arthur lives in the UK, both separated by an ocean. Their love wasn't meant to be from the start.
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Tirainy 3 hours ago
+Iron Rose Writer You couldn't let me dream, could you?
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Kaze1412 52 minutes ago
All of you are going, "I ship Alfred and Arthur!" And I'm here like, "I ship Alfred and the shotgun."
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Polly Little 37 minutes ago
What if it's a love triangle, with the shotgun in the middle?
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Kaze1412 25 minutes ago
Or a love square, with the cat thrown somewhere in there.
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Annabelle Flynn 16 minutes ago
wtf is wrong with you people?
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A Duck 3 hours ago
Quack
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Asky030 29 minutes ago
Same
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RoseBadwolf1000 1 hour ago
ALFRED! IF YOU COULD BE ANY KIND OF POTATO DISH, WHAT WOULD YOU BE?
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AlfredtheHero 1 hour ago
CURLY FRIES ALL THE WAY BRUH!
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Yantau 1 hour ago
+RoseBadwolf1000 asking the real questions
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Hollywoodling 2 hours ago
Alfred, you could avoid more monsters if you turned off the flashlight when they're around. They're attracted to the light!
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Queen of Blue Hearts 2 hours ago
actually I think thats only with the mannequins (the four legged monsters?) plus its basically pitch black without the flashlight
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CiaoFromItaly 1 hour ago
Hard mode: turn flashlight off for the rest of the game. I dare you Alfred.
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Queen of Blue Hearts 1 hour ago
+CiaoFromItaly he would die, like a lot
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AlfredtheHero 1 hour ago
+CiaoFromItaly challenge accepted B)
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Queen of Blue Hearts 1 hour ago
+AlfredtheHero ALFRED BABY NO!
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fishstick1999 1 hour ago
+AlfredtheHero We will remember you
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And that's that.
Some of you might notice that most of the names I used above are reviewers from this story. Hope you guys don't mind. And if I didn't use you, sorry, but there are only so many comments I could think of to use names with.
In light of the giving season, here, have a bonus scene that has nothing to do with the actual story.
If Ivan was a youtuber
Ivan holds a camera at arm's-length, directed towards himself to catch his smiling face.
"Hello friends! Today, I will show you another life hack," he chirps like a bird. Not like a small, cute bird though. More like a goose. A goose that fell into a radioactive lake and emerged three times too large. Not a nice superhero goose either. Never a nice goose. Villain, thy name is goose.
The goose continues to smile at the camera. In the background, you can see him walking through what looks to be his house. He passes down a hall and comes to a well-lit kitchen.
"To help me today," Ivan says, "I've invited my good friend Toris. He will help me demonstrate. Say hello to everyone, Toris."
The camera turns to capture a brunet man lying on a tiled floor. The man does not look happy to be there. In fact, there are tears in his eyes and he is clutching his leg in what appears to be agony. But who knows, maybe he's just a good actor.
"W-what are you doing, Ivan? I think my leg is broken. Oh—oh god, it hurts. Please take me to a hospital."
Okay, there might be something wrong here. But it's cool. It's fine. It's just a little broken bone. I'm sure things will turn out fine.
"But we haven't finished the video yet!" Ivan giggles. "Life does not hack itself, you know."
Well, the goose isn't wrong, but like hell anyone should trust him.
Poor Toris, crumbled on the floor, looks up with a smidge of hope lacing his strained voice. "This…is a joke, right? I seriously think my leg is broken. Please Ivan."
"Stay right there, I have just the thing," Ivan tells him, thus fueling that smidge of hope in Toris.
But like I said, you can't trust goose-people. They'll eat you.
The camera wobbles this way and that for a few moments as Ivan adjusts it. Apparently he brought a tripod along and has now set it up. A+ for being prepared, Ivan!
Confusion mixes in Toris's pained gaze. The camera is set up to catch a wide view of the poor man in the floor. His head turns to follow Ivan as he moves somewhere out-of-view of the camera. Footsteps can be heard walking away, then a door opening. Might be a closet. A closet filled with bad things. Not gonna lie Toris, but you should probably be crawling away. Like now. Put those noodle arms to use.
"Found it~" Ivan sings, and oh boy, have you ever heard a goose sing? Terrifying.
Toris's eyes widen in panic at what he sees coming towards him. His heart must be fluttering as fast as hummingbird wings. The little hummingbird looks up at the radioactive goose that's about to devour him whole.
Ivan, hovering over Toris, ignores his horror completely and turns to smile once more at the camera. With a sledgehammer. There is most definitely a sledgehammer in his hands right now. Which makes the "goose devours hummingbird whole" analogy from the last paragraph kinda confusing, if Ivan's going to break his food apart before he eats it. Ivan, buddy, work with me here.
"Life hack!" Ivan grins, waving around the oversized hammer and totally not working with me. "If you have a broken leg, break the other leg too. That way the pain is symmetrical."
The hammer goes up, and before Toris can get a word of protest out, the heavy metal comes crashing down on his good leg. Now bad leg. It's hella broke now. I don't blame you for screaming your lungs out, Tory.
Amid the screams, Ivan looks at the camera again, expression satisfied.
And the moral of the story kids is that you should run for your life if you ever see a goose.
I don't believe Ivan knows what life hacks are supposed to be.