Chapter 9

"I was never your brother. We're not blood related." His voice never sounded so distress and melancholic.

Orihime stood motionlessly. The chill night breeze sent goose bumps across her bare skin, but, comparing to the blind panic and the pounding of her head was nothing. Who is he? No. Who is she? Was the question she should be asking. If Ichigo isn't her big brother, what is this kind of sick joke? It's not funny at all. What is she doing with the Kurosaki family? Why was she under their care? Was she not wanted? Orihime tried to hide her uneasiness.

She could feel the ache of her heart. Even though Orihime didn't showed it, but the pain that lingered in her chest made every breath shallow. Ichigo looked at her with intensity. There was a shred of affection that made him impossible to watch her being hurt. He pulled her closer to him. As long as this warmth of hers is still in his reach, nothing else matters, really.

"No." Orihime reflexively pushed Ichigo away.

Ignoring the distance that she put between them. "Don't touch me..." She squeezed her eyes shut afraid of any eye contacts.

Ichigo watch her merely in silence and feeling a sense of remorse strike in that pulled him into two directions. The realization of his feeling made him wanted a reaction from her, and admittedly, Ichigo worried if he had revealed too much. But, despite, himself, he still let words spit out in this way. What's done is done. Right at the moment, Ichigo felt like dying inside, while the scrowl never left his face.

"Despite what you think of me." He started walking towards her. "I am still here to protect you."

Orihime swallowed nervously. No, I just don't know what else to say.

"You must be scared. But I won't let you run away. Not even to that guy again."

Orihime did not answer right away.

But, without waiting for her response, Ichigo leaning forward. "You are still too blind to see what is right and wrong. Leave him before everything is too late. We will forgive you and forget what had happened before."

She shook her head. "You don't understand it, don't you...?"

"He is a dangerous man."

"That makes no difference when you guys pick up fights all the time."

"You don't belong to his world, nor does he belong to yours."

"This is not a decision you can make."

"Orihime, wake up. What has he done to you!"

"He did nothing! Stop accusing him."

"Why are you always defending him! Are you going to choose him over us?" or me? He wanted to add, but the words caught in his throat.

"What if I say ye-"

Ichigo frowned and lifted her chin up watching Orihime gasped in surprise. He couldn't handle this irrational anger anymore and felt like shutting her up. Impulsively, Ichigo covered his mouth with hers. He wasn't sure whether it was anger or disbelief, yet, the feeling of fear that she was going to be taken away terrified him. It only took one word, a look, a touch from her before the strings of his resolve started to get undone. The pain in his heart hurts. He had become stronger for her sake and surpassed despair over, and, over again because up till now, he only wanted to be a man to protect the woman he has loved all those years ago. Ichigo deepen the kiss and his hands firmly on Orihime's back. She was breathing very hard and struggling to break free. Orihime winced at the unwanted intimate moment.

No matter how much he has to put her through, there is a point to be proven and making it clear once for all how he felt about her. No matter what he had said, and done, Ichigo wanted to convince her of something she should've seen from the other side of him. That, perhaps he should've been clearer when he saw her last. But, Orihime still inexcusably refused to listen and might never return to him. If she decided to continue for the reason he very much hate to admit. It would be difficult to keep her and somehow spinning out of control. Ichigo blamed this on his weakness that he tried to suppress for so long as he knew it. None of it happened overnight and by chance. All of this already started back before he had to courage to be real to himself. Could he be too late?

A sharp pain was suddenly felt.

Ichigo immediately released Orihime. He brought his hand to his lips whipping the bleeding against his palm. He watch her with silent tears streaming down her cheeks. A sudden gust of wind blew away his last uncontrollable desire, while gathering himself back. They stood in silence looking at each other. And Ichigo didn't even realized he was holding his breath until a weighty pause passed before she spoke.

"Goodbye, Ichigo."

Orihime stepped on the white marble corridor and found herself unable to forget the sadness on Ichigo's face. He was long gone, but the distant pain in her chest remained. More than anything she wanted to avoid conflicts, verbal outbursts and confrontation. It wasn't because of the rivalry, but because she slowly lost her hope knowing things will not be in a happy ending. At this point, there was nothing to do, but staying out of each other would have considered the best for him, for her and for them.

While Orihime could finally pushed her trouble thoughts temporarily away. But she did not anticipate what came next. Grimmjow's sudden appearance was quick timely. She saw his lip part, but she did not hear him, instead a step followed by another and until she stood in front of him. At first he did not respond, next she saw him placing his palm on her cheek extremely gentle, feeling his arms encircling her waist, bringing her close to him and hearing his heartbeat. It was a bizarre feeling and strangely at peace.

Seconds ticked into eternity until she heard him said. "Go back to them."

Orihime titled her head up uncertainly. "Grimmjow?"

"Don't make me repeat again."

His tone sounded so detached. Orihime was about to protest but she saw him turning his back and walking away.

"No!" Orihime took a few strides after him.

"What you are doing is meaningless. This will not change anything." He said while continued his pace.

"What are you doing? Why are you leaving without even listening to me?"

"I'm going back to Hueco Mundo. Everything about us ends here."

Orihime could react it. She couldn't, she wouldn't accept it. With those little time she spent with Grimmjow already brought in a new wave of emotions, she already knew that he was dangerous. She was not wrong. His strong mind never failed to surprise her the more she got to know him. He was incredibly strong man for enduring all the difficulties. And then the thought about what he said to her was out of her control. He loved her. Every emotions that she felt, happiness and sadness, went through her as well.

He gave her everything. He made her felt it. He made her believed it. And now he wanted to take everything away, casting her aside. No way!

"We're not done talking yet." She said, trying to follow up him.

"We shouldn't interfere each other's life anymore."

"This is not something you can decide. Its my life and my choice. Stop walking away. We need to talk. "

"A talk? Fine. Then talk."

"If you have to go back, I'm coming with you. I don't want -"

"Shut the hell up." Grimmjow groaned. "You have no idea about the consequences. If you insisted to come."

Grimmjow did not think she fully comprehended what this clarification meant for her, what he meant to her. He knew he loved her, but seeing her like this only proved how much more exactly. Especially seeing her sadden eyes about another man, it surely took an enormous amount of self-control not to punch who ever did this to her. But then Grimmjow already knew that she must be protected, always. Even if it would mean not seeing her again in exchange for the price of her happiness.

Grimmjow suppressed the pain in his chest.

"Didn't you hear me? I said I'm sick of everything If you continue this, you might seriously hurt yourself." Not after I have decided to let you go and return to your normal life. He restrained himself of not showing his true intention.

Orihime trembled, but she refused to cry nor break down. How harsh was his words, he was cruel and determined.

"Do you remember saying if you have to make a decision, which one would you choose?" She continued, not breaking the eye contact. "Why won't you say it? Who do your heart and body belongs to?"

Grimmjow tensed up. Those were the questions he had put her through hell back then.

"I said shut up!"

From the corner of his eyes Grimmjow saw Orihime coming closer to him.

"You told me that you wanted my heart and love." Her voice was barely a whisper, but he heard it loud and clear.

"Do not bother yourself with such things."

Orihime did not let his words get to her. She grabbed him by the sleeve. "Please." She begged.

"You will stay at Soul Society. Don't ever think of coming to Hueco Mundo. And don't ever try to look for me."

Orihime shut her eyes. She can't cry. She will not cry. There was absolutely no way to even negotiate with him. He's serious. He will leave with no doubts.

"Forget about me."

"You can't leave!" She tighten her grip, refusing to let him go.

Grimmjow noticed that her right hand was trembling and knowing that he could easily push away. He knew what he was supposed to do it, he knew what he would most likely regret after. But despite that, he wasn't speaking nor moving, yet, just standing there devouring her with his gaze.

Just by looking in his eyes Orihime knew that he was irritated. His word was simple,but, as soon as he uttered those words something clenched inside her. Everything was a giant mess leaving a gigantic hole in her chest, and, that she did not know how to mend such disarray painful emotion.

"You were right." Orihime exhaled sharply. "This love is killing us."

Even though she couldn't read his face, but a heaven sigh was heard.

"I know."

"I want to love and be loved by someone dearly. I used to talk about it and fully looking forward for it to happen, but in fact it remain unsettled once I found love." Orihime put her arms around him. "I don't know anything. It scares me."

Orihime clutched his clothes more, burying her face further in. Grimmjow did not bother pulling away, and continued with his hands dropped in the air. It made Orihime's heart sank.

"If love is a sin then I am ready to an eternal punishment." She murmured.

Without even thinking of what she was going to do next. Her trembling hands came around his neck, brushing her fingers through his hair. They looked at each other, faces only a whisper away. Orihime cupped his face and planted a kiss on his lips. Grimmjow stood, quietly holding her around the waist, his chest rising and falling against hers. Their lips parted and she clung to him. For many times Orihime kept trying to convince herself that love should have received blessings and trace of happiness. But after what had happened until now, love was never up to her expectations.

To love unconditionally is a difficult thing, it takes responsibilities to understand and accept differences. To love requires discovering the love language being presented, it takes awareness to give and receive love. At this moment, Orihime felt jaded and ashamed, ashamed of the fact she had no idea what real love was.

"Ichigo. Have you heard about it? What's going on! " Rukia asked. "Why is Inoue going to quit Shinigami?"

"I did. It's her choice after-all." He replied.

"Something must have happened. Why all of a sudden a 180 degree changed in her behavior?"

"It has nothing to do with your concern, for god sake just forget it."

Rukia shook her head in mild frustration. "How can you be so calm! Usually you would have reacted the same as me unless..."

Ichigo remained silent. Rukia observed carefully. He has always been putting Orihime at his first priority, and was well known to be an overprotected brother. Why was he acting so strangely? Ichigo used to react sensitively before. What were the chances that he will not? Rukia studied him for moment feeling the ugly sensation as she did when he was defeated by Grimmjow back at the hospital. No. this can't be. She felt herself bottled to her feet in shock.

"You knew this would be happening. But why did you keep this from us? We had the right to know!" Rukia yelled at him angrily.

"So what? Theres nothing you can do to make her mind change."

"Shut up, you moron."

"What did you call me?" Ichigo asked in irritation.

"Are you giving her to another man? The man you hated the most."

"But there was nothing I can do."

"Why would you be saying that?" Rukia insisted.

"If that is what she wishes for, I respect her decision."

"Leaving her with Grimmjow? The hell is wrong with you!"

Ichigo sighed. He really did not want to think about it.

"I don't know why you're fine with it. But I'm not okay with this whole thing. I'm going to find her and talk to her."

Ichigo raised his brows, and caught her elbow before she drifted away. "Don't."

"Let go of me." Rukia warned. "What about your love for her? Don't you love her? Is this your way of doing before you even had the guts to confess your love."

"I did. She chooses him over me." Ichigo said avoiding looking at her.

"No wonder..." Rukia said thoughtfully.

"Its the best if she doesn't see me now." Ichigo felt guiltless eating up his heart.

"I'm back." Grimmjow walked in his living room, searching for her trance around the apartment. "Orihime?"

Grimmjow looked around the room and decided to head upstairs. She must be there. Things have been good between them. His mood has also improved everyday. Although the decision of hers to quit Shinigami somehow slightly bothered him because he knew how important friends were to her, and, because the term friend: the starting point of everything. Grimmjow remembered when he was asked to participate in Aizen's plan months ago. He approached her and mistakenly thought it was due to his curiosity and interest. But he had a feeling that Aizen had no intention of harming Orihime.

Grimmjow did not waste any longer to find her. She was at the balcony putting her hands on the rails and looking into the distance.

"What are you looking at?" He came up standing behind her.

Orihime shook her head. "Nothing. And welcome back." She snuggled closer to him.

"What have you been up to today?"

"Well. I went to talk with Urahara. I want to quit Shingami and try to transfer to Hueco Mundo. If I'm lucky, I might even become an Espada, just like you."

Grimmjow's face grew serious. "I see."

"You don't sound excited about it."

"Don't you think it would be better to think twice about it?"

"I thought you would be happy about it."

"I am happy." Grimmjow put his hand over hers" As long as I have you by my side."

Orihime took his hand and squeezed in agreement.

"Once the winter war is over, all of us will soon go our separate ways. You don't have to make the decision now."

Orihime bit her lip. She knew he couldn't hide anything from him. He saw right through her.

"Even if your friends show up. Especially Kurosaki, I have no intention to fight."

"What if he insisted to fight with you?"

"I'm sure there are others willing to do it, but definitely not me. I promise."