So heres Chapter 6. As always thank to all you awesome people putting this on alert and/or favorite. And of course those who review(ed): You are the best ! :)
Life was hard. It has been a week since Brittany awoke. She was avoiding Santana and only spoke to her when absolutely necessary. Santana tried to be careful not to frighten her or whatever emotion she felt when she was near the blonde. She asked Quinn if she knew what was wrong but Quinn was determined that it was not her place to tell her what was wrong.
Quinn came over on a daily basis to talk to Brittany and it seemed that they made at least a little progress because Brittany didn't look as numb as before. Her face wasn't this hard mask anymore. It had softened but was still void of emotions, which made Santana worry more. She knew she had to fight for Brittany, but she didn't know how. Brittany didn't talk to her.
Quinn had told her that Britt didn't want to see a doctor and as Santana still didn't want to force Brittany to do anything she didn't want to she let her be. This past week Santana had studied the blonde quiet intently. She was very jumpy. Every time she heard a loud noise she threw her hands to her ears and ducked behind the first thing in sight. She has banned all music from the apartment and hasn't danced at all.
It was Monday and since Brittany was awake Santana decided to actually go to the office to get her work done over there. Staying at home would only result in Brittany not leaving the bedroom to avoid seeing Santana.
She had been working for hours and it was already getting dark outside when Quinn entered into the closet, they called her office.
"Shouldn't you be home? I mean Britt's been alone all day." There wasn't anything judgmental in her voice she was purely stating facts.
"Well I assumed it would be a nice break for her to not have me over since she gets the creeps anytime I get in a 10 meter radius of her." The Latina stated bitterly.
"So you're just gonna hide out in the office? If I remember correctly you were the one that said to fight for her?" Santana only glared at her.
"I am fighting. This whole fucking week I have been fighting the urge to be close to her, fighting to try to talk to her and fighting the urge to force her into Dr. Mo's office so he can try to get her to actually talk about the things that happened!" Quinn was taken aback. She felt once again stupid for not thinking how this whole thing was taking it's toll on Santana. She knew Brittany was hurting from feeling this numb but she hadn't really thought about how this would affect Santana. Clearly the Latina didn't know what was going on and why her girlfriend behaved this way towards her.
"San I still think I shouldn't tell you what Brittany told me. But now that I have talked with her more and seen that this is not going to get any better I think you should approach her more. Just a little small talk here and there. She is not scared of you. I know she wants you around... there is just all this pain she's dealing with. You were always her rock, so please Santana. Be her rock again. I mean you always new a way to make her smile. You can do it again."
"Well haven't you become quiet the sap Fabray?" her voice was teasing but Quinn could tell that she was joking to hide the fact that tears were threatening to spill.
"Not all people can be as bitchy as you Lopez. But well you know me I'm just awesome like that. But please try not to jump her." Giving the Latina a last wink Quinn left the office quiet content about how she didn't spill Brittany's secret and got Santana's lazy butt in gear.
As Santana sat in her car she thought about the things Quinn had told her. Brittany couldn't hate Santana if Quinn was advising her to disregard her behavior against Santana. This could only mean that she was afraid of something else. The only thing Santana could think of was obviously the shooting at the studio but she couldn't understand why she was able to talk to Quinn about stuff and not her. She still didn't know all the details yet and feared for the worst. Brittany had been covered in bruises when they got her out of there. Perhaps he had abused her in any kind of way. Santana got sick just thinking on anyone laying hand on Brittany for another reason than to show their affection.
Brittany was sitting on the couch in the living room reading a book that used to cheer her up when she was upset but then again she felt nothing. Talking to Quinn helped to ease the pain that was her constant companion since she woke up, though it never got her to feel any sort of real relief.
She had been thinking hard these last days. Sometimes she felt like her stay in her mind was the thing that hurt less and the reality she came back to was the real nightmare. Often she felt as if she couldn't breathe, as if her lungs wanted her to pass out just to flee into a blissful oblivion. To shut her brain down for a little bit to ease the pain.
Not only that she was burdened by all things that happened to her, but she was still avoiding Santana. Although in her current state she wasn't really feeling bad about it, every time Santana was around her shoulders felt really heavy and sometimes she felt like this pressure would break her. It was torture only to feel the bad stuff in your life and not being able to hold onto feelings that could help you to forget the others.
She was so immersed in her thoughts that she didn't hear the door opening and Santana entering the apartment. She first realized she wasn't alone when Santana plopped down on the couch next to her. Brittany's first instinct was to flee. She had to avoid the conversation. She couldn't bear to see a broken expression in Santana's eyes. She couldn't carry this with her as well. There was plenty of things she had to endure and she couldn't take this as well. She was so afraid that Santana might even leave her and she knew if this happened she would shatter and nothing could put her back together ever again.
She jumped up from the couch but Santana anticipated her movement and catched her before she could literally run away. She held her tight around the waist. Brittany, overwhelmed by the situation, began to struggle against her grip. They wrestled for a few minutes before Santana could push Brittany on the couch landing on top of her and pinning her down. Well so much for not jumping her.
"Britt relax I won't hurt you. I don't know why you are so afraid of me but you should know that I would never do anything to you." Santana's voice was calm although was slightly out of breath from all the wrestling.
Brittany remained silent but had stopped her struggling and looked her in the eyes.
"I just want you to know that I am here for you and you can tell me anything. I won't judge you or be mean about it. I mean yeah I can be quiet the bitch but you know you were always the one person to turn me into a total sap. And that will never change. I mean we have known each other quiet some time now and we got through everything life threw at us," Santana was crying now and her tears landed on Brittany's cheeks, " so we can get through this too. Together. You have to trust me that I will do anything for you. You can confide in me. I love you."
The blonde under her shifted her gaze away from her. She was crying as well and mumbling under her breath. "Britt I can't understand what you are saying?"
"But what if I can't love you back?"
A/N: Please review :)