Prompt: "I can see it now... 'First Human Spectre Trampled by Space Cows'"
Space cows were inelegant creatures. Part fox-dog, part raptor, part something else - all alien. They walked in a trotting, clownish gait, bumping into one another, bleating in a sing-song, mourning warble that was just as hard on the ears as their bodies were on the eyes.
Then as one, the herd began to move and the once inelegant creatures became a beautiful force of nature, waves of flaxen against muddy green.
Ashley swallowed. "Commander?" She looked back at the Mako sitting two hundred meters away. Today, of all days, she'd chosen to wear heavy armor. Today, of all days, they were running for their lives from a stampede of space cows on some backwater planet.
"How many do you think we can pick off before they overrun us?" Shepard called. She was farther ahead; damn her for wearing light armor; damn her for damaging her heavy armor on the last mission.
"Not enough!" Kaidan yelled. Damn him for wearing medium armor. Damn him for having longer legs. He'd also recently upgraded his physics mods. Damn him for that too.
"Joker!" Shepard yelled. She had what suspiciously looked like a cryo grenade in her hand.
"You want me to take out space cows?" Joker asked. He sounded surprised.
"Not necessary," Shepard assured him. They were nearing the Mako. Unfortunately, the herd was almost on them. "Get into position for pick up. Hopefully, Normandy will scare them into another direction."
"On our way, Commander."
The marines made it to the Mako and rounded to the opposite side just as the first of the herd slammed into the vehicle.
Kaidan let out a surprised curse as he swung the door open then was forced to duck away from flying space cow feet when the Mako wasn't enough to stop the herd from bounding over it. Shepard pushed him and the three jumped in.
"They're not stopping," Ashley said in wonder.
Shepard shook her head, initiating the start up. If they didn't get out soon, the creatures would damage the engine. "I'm more worried about what startled them," she said.
"Big?" Kaidan asked, his fingers flying over the haptic adaptive interface.
"Huge."
Ashley spotted the behemoth shadow of... something, but couldn't make out the details. "McLarge Huge," she said.
"I can see it now," Shepard joked as the engine fired. "First Human Spectre Trampled by Space Cow." She let loose a volley of automatic weapons fire and the herd changed direction enough for the Mako to move. "Story of my life."