Yo sorry for the super long update time. I've been busy and wanted to work on some of my other works. And to be honest I might've forgot about his one….
Anyways this is my humorous one so sorry if some characters are a bit OOC, it's all for comedy purposes.
/
Natsu groaned form his hammock in his small house. He could feel his stomach turn all night and barely got any sleep due to the constant pain of some unknown potion trying to do Mavis knows what in his body. He let out another disheartened grunt as he rolled over. Yesterday after waking up in the infirmary he was told of his predicament by a crying Lucy and a face of pity from Mira.
"Uuuuuggggghhhhh" Natsu groaned as he rolled out of his hammock before landing on the hard floor. "ow…"
"Natsu!" the cheerful voice of Happy pierced the stillness of the house. "It's almost nine so we have to go to the guild before you go crazy!" Happy smiled as he landed on his adopted fathers head.
"Happy…. Why do bad things happen to good people?"
"Hmmmm maybe because they don't have any fish!" Happy grinned as he pulled out some fish and started to gnaw on its head before turning back to Natsu "Hey Natsu if you turn into a fish can I eat you!" He asked with stars in his eyes.
This made Natsu's head snap up from the ground "You would eat me buddy?" Natsu asked as tears threatened to fall from his eyes "After all we've been through! Would you really eat me?"
Happy look at the distressed form of Natsu for a few seconds. "Well it's almost nine so we gotta go to the guild!" he yelled quickly as he flew out the open door.
"Happy don't ignore my question!" Natsu cried as he stood and slowly started to drag his feet as he made his way to the guild.
As the duo made it to the guild Natsu was immediately greeted with a face full metal armor.
"I'm sorry I wasn't here earlier Natsu. If only I was quicker this may have all been avoided! My failure has caused you much distress. You may hit me." An apologetic Erza said as she realized Natsu from her 'hug' and bowed forward.
Natsu just let out a dejected sigh "its fine Erza." Before walking up to the bar and slamming his head down on the bar top. Mira just gave him a comforting look before going behind the bar and returning with a small glass that she set in front of him. She pulled out a match and lit the drink on fire before sliding it closer to the dragon slayer.
Natsu opened his eyes and saw the drink he rose his head "Hey Mira I did-"
"It's on the house Natsu." Mira smiled "You look like you're having a pretty rough day."
Natsu mumbled a thanks before downing the drink and standing "Well I'll be over there." He gestured to the side before walking over towards an empty table and slamming his head against it.
"He seems to be quite troubled." Erza thought aloud as she took Natsu's seat at the bar.
"Well who wouldn't be in that situation. He was forced to drink an unknown potion that has unknown side effect that will last for an unknown amount of time. It seems pretty hopeless when you think about it." Mira said as she looked over towards the depressed dragon slayer.
"When you frame the problem like that it seems only logical to think in that way." Erza nodded as Mira slid her a piece of cheesecake. "Where is Lucy by the way? I expected her to be her today."
"Lucy decided to stay home today I believe. She said something about not wanting to make it any harder on Natsu and not wanting to confront him yet." Mira replied as she put down a glass she was cleaning "Its soooo cute how they act like that with each other! It's like a little family, Natsu helps pay the rent and Lucy worries about how he is." Mira giggled.
"Really?" Erza questioned as she looked up from her cake "So where do you fit in?"
"What do you mean where do I fit in?" Mira asked genuinely confused.
"Well you say that Lucy and Natsu act like family since they worry about one another. Didn't you just give Natsu a free drink since he was in a depressed mode? Also when we believed Lisanna to be dead didn't Natsu help you throughout the grieving period? Not to mention that when we were little you would repeatedly pick on him and tell the entire guild how you thought it was cute when he would cry." Erza explained while taking bites of cheesecakes.
"W-w-well yes and yeah but that's just what Natsu does isn't it? I gave him a drink that I'd give anyone is his position." Mira asked caught off guard since she suddenly found herself on the other side of the matchmaking fence. "Well what about you?" Mira countered catching the scarlet mage off guard.
"Me?" Erza asked.
"Yeah you. I've heard from Gray that you always put Natsu's head in your lap on the train rides. Not to mention that you two have bathed together in the past on several occasions. Add to that when Natsu saved you from the tower of Heaven and you have me curious if you two have a secret relationship." Mira winked as she rested against the bar top, comfortable in her usual position of poking into others relationships.
Erza paused for a moment before turning towards Natsu, who was in the middle of a nap, catching Mira off guard by her reaction and the missing of a denial. "Actually I've never even thought of being in a relationship with Natsu." Erza finally spoke letting Mira let out a breath she didn't realize she was holding. "But now that I think about Natsu does not lack many qualities of a good man."
"What do you mean?" Mira asked giving Erza a questionable look.
"Well think about it. In the guild there aren't that many people that can make the entire guild more enjoyable with just their presence then Natsu." Erza explained "And he has an odd ability to always come through in the end. The tower of heaven showed me just how reliable he is and how loyal he is to his friends. There is just this thing about Natsu that no matter who he is against I know he will win."
Mira opened her mouth to say something before closing it and soaking in the words that Erza spoke. "He is like that isn't he?" She smiled "always dependable, always loyal, always caring, and honest to a fault." Mira smiled lightly as she started to think of all of Natsu's good qualities.
"Hey don't forget he is ripped and since he is a dragon slayer he can probably last forever in the sack!"
Both women had a spit take as they tried to recover from hearing the comment. Mira was the first and looked over to see a drunk Cana laying on the bar top just a few stool over form Erza. "Cana!" she screeched.
"What?" Cana shrugged "I know both of you were thinking it anyways, I mean what do you think this is? Some type of fantasy story where those thought don't appear in everyone's minds every twenty seconds."
"W-w-we were most certainly not thinking about that! We were just talking about how he is a good man, right Erza?" Mira defended as she turned to Erza only to see her sitting quietly with a small pink blush dusting her cheeks. "ERZA!" Mira yelled surprised.
"T-t-the thought might've crossed my mind for a moment… But only for a moment!" the scarlet night said in her defense causing Cana to start to laugh.
"Though I have to agree with both of you." Cana said as she stopped laughing "I never thought of Natsu like that. We have been together for so long as saw him as more of a little brother."
"I know what you mean." Mira sighed "but I have to say whatever girl is that grabs Natsu will be the luckiest one." Mira gave a small smile as she glanced towards Natsu.
"Well in that case I might try to play my luck then." Grinned Cana as she stood.
"W-what do you mean by that?" Mira and Erza asked at the same time.
"Well" Cana shrugged "he might be like a little brother to me but when it comes down to it he isn't." she started to make a small smirk "What it boils down to is that Natsu is a sexy, dependable, loyal, and honest guy, and the best part is that he Is single. Plus Guildarts already sees him as a son-in-law so I think I have the best chance to take him off the market." Cana said as she took a few steps towards Natsu before stopping and glancing over her shoulder "Oh and I'm really curious now to know if that dragon slayer ferocity is just as amazing outside of a battle field."
"I can't let you do that!" Erza yelled pulling out a sword and pointing it towards Cana causing many nearby mages to duck for cover.
"Oh? Any whys that?" Cana questioned as she gave Erza an amused smile.
"I won't let the women that takes him use him only for indecent things. The women he should be with should be strong, dependable, and capable of caring for him. Not to mention able to scold him when he does something wrong." Erza said narrowing her eyes to the card mage.
"So you?" Cana questioned raising an eyebrow.
"…Possibly." Erza said not resting her gaze for a second.
"Erza" Cana sighed "we both know that in the area of doing indecent things to him you have me beat."
"W-what!" Erza yelled.
"I have to agree with Cana there Erza." Mira added sweetly "And I think Natsu need a more caring person to deal with his childish nature and his more goofy moments" Mira giggled.
"So you?" Cana tilted her head and pointed to Mira.
"W-w-well I-I didn't think of that." Mira blushed as she brought a hand to her cheek "But if he wound up confessing to me or something I would at least have to give him a chance right?" Mira giggled.
"Who said anything about a confession? Are we in high school?" Cana could only sweat drop as she washed Erza come to realization that she was in fact, a giant pervert. Meanwhile Mira stood next to her blushing with hearts around her like a love struck teenager.
Their moment however was short lived as the sudden sound of a bell interrupted the general chatter of the guild. Mira snapped out of her 'love-struck teenager' phase and looked towards the clock that was sitting behind the bar only to see it read ten o'clock "Uh oh." She said silently before look over towards the sleeping form of Natsu "well I wonder what today is going to bring?" she said lightheartedly trying to sound upbeat.
Erza and Cana both followed her gaze to Natsu "So the potion will kick in any second now?" Erza asked.
As if to answer her question Natsu's eyes suddenly snapped opened as he sat upright. He looked down as his eyes suddenly grew. "Oh shit, oh shit, oh shit." He repeated before he started to look around the guild. His eyes finally ending on the trio of women that were by the bar, his eyes then zeroed in on Mira. "MIRA WHAT THE HELL WAS IN THAT POTION!" he yelled as sudden thunk was heard throughout the guild.
"What was that? Cana asked as she looked around. Many of the other guild members also started to look around as to find the source of the sudden noise.
"I'm sorry Natsu I don't know." Mira said giving him an apologetic smile. An idea suddenly popped up in her head as she looked over to Erza and Cana. She grew a devilish smile as she walked around the bar "Oh Natsu!" she said in a sing song voice catching the attention of the other two women. "Whatever effects the potions give you though you know I'll always be here to comfort you right?" she gave Natsu a dazing smile. The other two women quickly caught on to what the she-demon was planning.
"No Natsu don't let that demon near you!" Erza yelled out "I am the one who you should go to if you need help. After all we've been through I should be the one you go too." She immediately reequipped into her nurse outfit catching the attention of all the man population in the room "I can make you feel better." She smirked.
Unfortunately for her however Natsu was in the middle of a mental breakdown at his table and failed to see any of her show.
"Natsu let me take care of you and I'll give you food and we can play games." Cana said casually as Natsu's head snapped up.
"Really?" he asked with a smile making the two other women face plant at the obvious Natsu response.
"Yupp and we can do some fun training at my house." Cana winked.
"That sounds AWES-"Natsu stopped dead. "No not now I need to go home." He said quickly as he started to stand only to pause for a second and sit back done "NOPE I NEED TO STAY HERE AND NOT MOVE. YUPP JUST SIT HERE TILL IT WEARS OFF!"
"Till what wears off?" Mira asked curious.
"The potion." Natsu said off handedly.
"Sooo you're going to sit in the same position for ten hours?" Cana asked honestly surprised.
"Yupp in going to sit in the same place and not move for ten hou- TEN HOURS!" Natsu yelled shocked "No I can't I need, I need." He repeated as he put his hands in his hair.
"You need what Natsu?" Erza asked as she took step forward "If you need anything just tell me and I'll-"
"I NEED GRAY!" Natsu yelled shocking the entire guild "GRAY WHERE ARE YOU!?"
"Oh my… maybe the potion is making him crazy! I've never heard him ask Gray for help!" Mira said as she started to panic.
"You're right maybe we should-" Cana however was cut off as Gray was suddenly flying through the air pas her and landed on the table that Natsu was at.
"I have brought you Gray." Erza announced crossing her arms with a smirk "As I said I will do whatever it takes. Unlike some people." She cast a glance towards Cana and Mira. Getting a 'Hey!' form both of them.
"What the hell flame brain!" Gray yelled as he rubbed his head only to be grabbed by Natsu.
"Gray remember that time I saved your life on that island when we were fighting your brother or whatever and there was that guy that smelled like a girl then turned out to be a girl then started to work with Jellal. It was the same place you tried to use that spell but I punched you in the face because you're an idiot and so you didn't die?" Natsu said as he looked at Gray desperately.
"…. I think so…" Gray said amazed by the way Natsu was somehow able to piss him off and surprise him about how he descried one of their missions.
"Good, I need you to be a bro and make me A LOT OF ICE!" he stressed the last part.
"What the hell for?" Gray asked. Natsu gulped before leaning forwards and whispering in the mages ear.
"I would've gladly done that if Natsu asked!" yelled Cana as she narrowed her eyes towards Erza.
"I'm sure you would have." Erza said back with a sly grin.
"Are you mocking me?" Cana said taken aback.
Mira sweat dropped at her two friends "Cana, Erza calm do-"
"HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHA ARE YOU SERIOUS! OH MY GOD AHAAHAHA THAT'S GOLD!" interrupted Grays laughter as the ice mage rolled off the table leaving an embarrassed Natsu glaring holes in him.
"You bastard you better help me!" Natsu yelled as he put up a fist.
"Or what?" Gray said between laughs "you going to come over here and beat me up?"
"Damn right I wi-"Natsu yelled as he began to stand but quickly stopped and sat down.
"HAHAHAHAH THIS IS TOO GOOD!" Gray laughed as he rolled around on the floor. Everyone that was watching was shocked to see Gray laughing this much, and more shocked to see Natsu just sitting there taking it.
"You bastard if I could walk over there I would kick your ass right now!" Natsu roared from his seat. This comment catching the attention of the three women.
"If you moving I can help you!" Mira said quickly as she started to walk forward followed closely behind by Cana and Erza.
"I can help!"
"Nonsense I will help him!"
Natsu saw the three coming as his eye filled with fear "No no no NO NO STOP!" he yelled as the three got closer and pushed the table aside he jumped back and put his hand in front of him and closed his eyes "STOP!" he yelled as the three women stopped and the guild became instantly silent.
Natsu opened his eyes after a second and put his hands down noticing the three charging women were stopped in their tracks. He looked at them confused until he suddenly heard Gray's laughter start up again. He then noticed the wide eyes and extremely dark blushed the three women, as well as all the other women in the guild now had. He followed their eye sight as he look down. His face turned as dark as Erza's hair as he quickly sat down and pulled the table close to him. He look the side away from everyone else in embarrassment.
*Cough* "um someone should go tell Lucy that the uh…" Natsu said uncomfortably "that the um second day of the potion was Viagra….."
Gray started to laugh even harder as Natsu face got even darker and he tried to sink into the corner.
"I… um I'll go tell Lucy…." Mira stuttered out as she awkwardly started to turn.
"I'll um… ill join you." Erza stated as she started to follow Mira.
Cana stood there for a few more seconds before she snapped out of her daze "Holy shit did you see the size of his di-"
"CANA!" yelled both Mira and Erza as their blushed came back at full power and Natsu sank even lower in his chair.
"What! You could sink a ship the thing. That's a weapon!" Cana said still chocked at what she saw.
"CANA YOU ARE COMING WITH US! NOW!" Erza yelled blushing even harder as Mira grabbed the card mage and dragged her out of the guild with her and Erza.
"OH MY GOD THIS IS PERFECT!" Gray laughed harder as he was rolling on the ground.
"You bastard." Natsu growled. "I'LL GET YOU BACK FOR THIS!"
"Really match stick and how is that?" Gray said as he wiped away a tear form laughing so hard.
"I don't know! But I swear if one of the side effect of this potion lets me do something about it I swear you are the first person I go after!" Natsu growled.
"Ha it's just a potion you idiot what's the worst it could do?" Gray laughed as he finally stood. A sudden movement to his right caught his attention. He looked over to see a certain blue cat shivering in the corner "happy?" he asked confused.
Happy turned around "Don't ever doubt the power of the potion Gray." Happy mumbled silently through dark eyes "they can do ANYTHING!" he said starting to freak Gray out "ANYTHING!" he yelled causing Gray to take a step back as happy stood and started to walk towards him "ANYTHI- oh look a fish!" Happy suddenly said reverting back to normal and grabbing the fish from the counter leaving the entire guild in an awkward silence.
/meanwhile at Lucy's
"Did you see it?" Cana yelled at the other two blushing women.
"FOR THE LAST TIME CANA YES WE SAW IT! WE KNOW ITS SIZE! WE KNOW ITS ABILITY TO BE USED AS A WEAPON!" Erza yelled as she blushed.
"H-h-how are we going to tell Lucy?" Mira asked
"Well more importantly how are we going to tell Lucy we are all after her man crush." Cana threw out as the trio of women stopped in their tracks suddenly coming to the same conclusion.
"So we write down what Natsu said and leave it under her door. Leave this conversation for another day?" Mira said getting two quick nods from the other women.
"It's not because we are cowards, it's because it's been a long day and we don't want to have that conversation right now." Erza said trying to defend their reasoning as both women agreed.
Cana nodded "Exact-"
"OH HEY GUYS!"
All three women tensed as the heard the familiar voice form down the canal.
*cough* "what a weird noise the breeze made." Cana said "better leave that note quick before Lucy comes out you know."
"Y-yeah. The breeze." Mira agreed as the three hurried their steps to Lucy's apartment.
"GUYS WHERE ARE YOU ALL GOING!? IF YOU NEED ME JUST TALK TO ME INSTEAD OF GOING TO MY APARTMENT."
"The breeze." Erza reinforced "I personally like to jog when there is a breeze." She said as she picked up her pace and was followed by the other two.
"GUYS WHY ARE YOU RUNNING TO MY APARTMENT!?" Lucy yelled as she tried to catch up to the three girls. She tried her best to follow but eventually ran out of breath "W-w-what is with them!" she yelled to herself as she caught her breath. After a few more minutes she finally made it to her apartment but was surprised to see no one there "What in the world is going on?" she said aloud as she look around for any sign of Erza, Mira, or Cana. "Huh what's this?" she asked herself as she saw a note on her table. She quickly grabbed it and began to read "For your mission, love Erza, Mira, and Cana. Natsu said that the side effect for the second day was Viagr- WHAT THE HELL!"
/
And thus ends chapter two.
I have to say it's really enjoyable to write this story haha I hope I don't forget it again!
Shout out to megenehanson for posting the review that reminded me that this is a story of mine lol.
Hope you all enjoyed it and I look forward to any comments or reviews!
And we will see what tomorrow holds for our dragon slayer in Natsu's potion pandemonium!
If anyone has any idea's they want to throw my way just let me know. I'm open to all ideas and if I don't forget again I plan to use all of them.