First of all a big big thank you to those of you who alerted and/or reviewed this story and got my spirits up :) And a special thank you to kempokarate12 and the totally awesome/butt-kicking review :)
Disclaimer: Nothing from Glee belongs to me.
Brittany said on a comfy couch talking to a guy named Danny she met there. According to Santana she had to talk to one of her old university professors about maybe getting back into university and well Danny was his friend who visited to attend some of his classes.
Brittany didn't want to tag along but Santana insisted on her coming so she obliged.
She didn't mind too much because Danny was really nice and she found it easy to talk to him. He was at most thirty, tall, dark unruly hair and stubble. His eyes were green and he kind of reminded Brittany of a male Santana. Minus the eyes of course.
"So Brittany am I really that boring to talk to? I mean I don't want to be rude or anything but you keep spacing out and well look rather bored." he smiled at her and looked a little bit embarrassed about being so bold.
"No absolutely not. I'm sorry I just have a lot on my mind these times. And well I kind of always look bored.. I don't mean to but well I can't help it. So please don't think anything of it." Brittany tried to make Danny understand that she just couldn't show any other side of her to him without him thinking that it was her choice or rather because she didn't like him.
In the other room Santana and Dr. Mo her "university professor" were talking.
"Miss Lopez you see Dr. Carver is a really unique character and tends to rather get connected to his patients than try to stay the omniscient observer but I think it is what makes people talk to him. He has this unique gift to charm people and make an instant connection but at the same time he can stay neutral and be objective and helpful like any other psychologist." He smiled at the young Latina sitting on the other side of his desk.
"I'm glad to hear it. I just hope he can manage to get her to open up a little. I mean every little bit he can get out of her will help us."
"It will certainly aid in the try to get Miss Pierce to open up but I can't guarantee anything at this stage of the session. I mean I haven't even talked to Dr. Carver yet. I just don't want you to be too hopeful Miss Lopez. We have to very careful. We move on thin ice. Even if Dr. Carver succeeds if Miss Pierce still refuses to talk about it we will not be able to make any progress." Santana looked at him intently. She took a deep breath before she talked again.
"Believe me Dr. Mo I know Brittany if he gets her to talk then she will not refuse therapy anymore. The hard thing is to crack her. She will talk then. I'm sure of it."
"Well Miss Lopez I don't want to doubt your judgment. I'm going to be bold. I think there is one special thing about this experience that makes Miss Pierce hold back. I witnessed alike behavior by rape victims. They were so ashamed of what happened to them that they wouldn't talk about it." Santana looked at him like a deer caught in headlight.
"Do you think she has been raped?"
"No this is not what I meant. Although I could never say for sure what happened until Miss Pierce told us I don't think this is what happened. If I remember correctly when she was admitted to the hospital that night there was no record of sexual violence towards her." Santana nodded relived.
"Okay Brittany now I'm confused. So you don't mind this conversation but you still look bored because you can't change your expression? Oh and if you want to talk or something I mean I know we just met but I'm a great listener. And since we don't know each other too well it might even be easier for you to talk to me", he winked at her before he added, "And just for the record even if you are bored I'm gonna talk your ear off." He saw Brittany scrunch her eyebrows in thought and smiled at her.
Brittany didn't know why but she felt kind of willing to talk. Danny made this whole conversation seem so less stressful. Normally she felt pressured to talk about stuff but with him it was another thing. He seemed genuinely interested it wouldn't mind if she just chose to stay at small talk.
"It's just that there was this .. this incident that happened to me roughly six months ago and well let's just say that I wasn't the same after or rather couldn't be the same after. I appreciate the offer but I don't think you could actually help me with my problems. But really keep talking it's a welcomed distraction." She watched as Danny's face fell a bit.
"I'm sorry I hope I didn't remind you of anything unpleasant. I mean you know. And I can totally understand if you don't want to talk to me I mean we just met and all. Look at me I'm talking like a sixteen year old and I'm almost thirty", He chuckled slightly and took a look at his watch.
Just in that moment Santana entered the room and smiled at Brittany.
"So Britt are you ready to get going?"
"Yeah just a sec." With that she walked over to Danny and offered him her hand. It was the best she could do for now as normally she would have hugged him.
"It was really nice to talk to you Danny. Perhaps we will see each other again." Danny took her hand and smiled back.
"Well the pleasure was all mine", he leaned near her ear and whispered the next words in her ear, "and well my offer is still up. If you need someone to talk to who isn't like family or friend you can call me anytime." He smiled and gave her his card.
Or well the card he prepared as his normal one would have revealed him to be a psychologist.
The blonde took the card with a nod, turning around and leaving the house with Santana.
While sitting in the cab Santana couldn't help but be curious about Brittany's talk with Dr. Carver. But she didn't want to ask to much to make it seem like a big deal so she settled for a simple "That Danny guy seemed nice."
"Yeah he was really nice. We talked and stuff. So what did your professor say?" Santana was taken a little aback by this question.
"Ah well you know we didn't get all the details through just yet. There is a whole bunch of paperwork to do until we can even try to get me back into university. So I will have to go there again. I was think tomorrow maybe? If you don't have like something against it?" Brittany looked at Santana a second before shaking her head.
"No I'm free so I don't really care."
Now Santana just had one obstacle left: Get Dr: Carver into the picture again. She must subtly make Brittany call him. He said he needed at least two sessions with her to see if could make her spill the beans.
"You know you could call perhaps Quinn and ask her if she has time to keep you company?", the Latina suggested nonchalantly. Of course she had talked to Quinn about the whole "non-therpay-therpay session" and told her to shake Brittany off and try to persuade her to call Dr. Carver.
Of course Quinn stood by her word and said she couldn't be there.
"I'm really sorry Britt. I just have so much work these days and white rhino doesn't make it easier on me. Can't you call someone else? I would feel bad if you had to go there on your own while stupid Santana makes business."
"No I mean I haven't talked to anyone from Glee Club in six months. I mean I just can't face them like this." Quinn had to think about her next move.
"I respect that. And I mean you were there today by yourself so I guess it's okay since you are fine and all."
"Not really alone Q. There was this guy Danny. We chatted and he was nice." Quinn chuckled over the line. Got you.
"Well that sounds great do you think he might be there tomorrow again? I mean a little distraction while waiting for our "Little Miss Sunshine" can't be bad."
"Hm I don't know he was just visiting the professor, whose name i didn't catch before. So I guess chances are slim. Unless..." Quinn interrupted before she could even form the sentence.
"Unless what Britt? What are you not telling me?" Quinn tried to keep her voice excited.
"He gave me his card so I could reach him if I ever wanted to talk again. Friendship only of course." Brittany didn't know why she added this little bit but she felt the need to clarify that.
"I know you wouldn't do anything like that Britt. And Santana does too. So why don't you just call him and see if he is available. Normally I wouldn't advise you to call strangers I don't know but with Santana in the other room I doubt anyone would dare to do anything."
"Maybe I have to think about it. I'll have to hang up now Q. Bye."
The rest of the cab ride was silent and when they arrived home Santana started making dinner and Brittany slumped down on the living room couch.
Brittany bit her lip. Should she really call Danny? She had just met him. He seemed nice and genuine but she was also afraid of him. She was afraid that he might ask her again about any thing relating the incident and she was even more afraid of herself. Although she only knew him for a good hour she already started trusting him and she was afraid of really talking to him. Then again he said he didn't mind not talking about all this personal stuff. She made a snap decision and called the number on the card she received.
"Hello." it was Danny's voice.
"Hi Danny this is Brittany Pierce. You know we met today."
"Yeah absolutely hi Brittany. I must say I didn't think you would actually call." He sounded surprised but in a positive way.
"I wasn't sure either but Santana has to sit through a session with her professor.. well I didn't catch his name tomorrow again. And well I was wondering if you would like to keep me company so we could talk or something?" There was silence on the other end of the line until Danny spoke again.
"It's Professor Simmons. And to your previous question I'd love to. I'm totally free tomorrow and would have been bored to death. So what time should I meet you there?" Brittany was confused she hadn't even asked Santana for the time.
"I'm really not sure just hold on a second.
"Santana when will we be at you professors?" she called into the kitchen.
" Around seven. Why?" she called right back.
"I invited Danny to keep me company. You know you tend to sit in there rather long." She states simply.
"So Danny could you meet me there at seven? I guess we'll have a good two hours."
"Sure. Don't be mad at me but I really have to go I need to tend to some things but I look forward to tomorrow."
"Sure. Until tomorrow." With that Brittany hung up the phone.
Shortly after that Santana entered with an amused look o her face.
"You must have hit it off quiet well if you already invite him to spend time."
"Yeah he seems cool. And it's refreshing to have someone new to speak to." Brittany avoided to say "some else" as she didn't want to hurt Santana's feelings. She knew the Latina really tried her hardest to make her feel comfortable to talk to her. There was just always this nagging feeling in Brittany's gut that she didn't want Santana to know what happened. With Danny she could just talk about the weather or whatever. Even if she did tell him something he was more or less a stranger. Even if he judged her for what she did she didn't have to see him again although he didn't seem like the type of guy to just judge people.
Santana could see right through Brittany. She had talked to Dr. Mo who told her not to be discouraged if Brittany would confide in Dr. Carver but not herself. He told her or rather reminded her how often in one's life it was easier to open up to people who wouldn't judge you or who were rather to emotionally distanced from you to hurt you if they did.
"Well as long as you stay in the building so I know he is not trying to force you into a back alley I don't care." Santana quipped as she strolled back into the kitchen motioning Brittany to follow her.
After they ate they were both tired and went to bed. Since the night Santana came back for Brittany after her confession they always slept in each others arms. There was nothing sexual about it. It was just reassuring each other that the other was still there. Santana would warp Brittany in a protective hug while Brittany settled in the crook of Santana's neck inhaling her sweet scent, which seemed to calm her thoughts down enough to sleep.
"Britt you still awake?" Santana's question ghosted through the room.
"Yeah what is it? I'm really tired." the blonde mumbled against the Latinas neck.
"I.. Well I just wanted to say that if you want to talk about anything you can come to me. I know I say it a lot but I get the feeling it didn't come through enough. You really can tell me what happened and..." Santana stopped as she felt Brittany stiffen in her arms. Santana immediately started apologizing for bringing this topic up and tried her best to console Brittany because she didn't want her to break out in a fit of hysterical begging.
When Brittany opened her eyes she was at the dance studio. It was empty. She was there alone staring at her reflection in the mirror. There was not blood and the wooden floor was polished, the walls colored in a warm yellow color and music was playing. Brittany was overwhelmed all of a sudden as she was enjoying herself , merging with her surroundings dancing around in pure joy and loving to hear the music. When she saw the door open and Santana enter her heart swelled with love. She wanted to run to Santana to embrace and and make her feel all the love she couldn't before. That was until she notices the figure standing behind Santana. It was him pointing a gun to the Latina's head but she didn't see him only Brittany could see him. He placed a finger on his lips telling her to stay silent. He moved his mouth without actually speaking and the words she saw were all to familiar "You are mine!". He then grinned at her as he crossed a finger over his heart and just in that instant she could feel all the feelings she enjoyed moments ago drawn from her body until all that remained was her anxiety of Santana being near him. Being in danger. She felt the numbness she had gotten used to wash all over her and saw him laugh. Although he started laughing loudly Santana still didn't realize he was there. She was confused. How could Santana still smile and walk so slowly when a gun is pointed at her head. Brittany didn't have mus time she needed to act . She ran off to Santana and tried to tackle him to the ground but when her body was supposed to crash against his there was nothing and Santana looked at her as if she had lost her mind. Even a little scared at how out of control she seemed.
Brittany woke up with a start.
She was in her bed wrapped in Santana's embrace. She was panting and felt sick. Sick because that was what she was. She kept telling herself that she would get better but in reality she knew better. She wasn't getting any better. If she was her heart would be beating really fast and her body would burn where her body touched Santana's. She would feel overwhelmed by love and adoration for the woman in her arms. But there was nothing. She had tried to convince herself that everything was fine since she had a couple of days without nightmares.
She knew she couldn't win against him on her own. He wasn't physically around to hurt her anymore but he still haunted her mind. The hold he had on her soul, locking away her feelings was as unforgiving as ever.
He was her own personal demon and it was now up to her to either crumble under his pressure or defeat him.
It was the first time she realized that this time Santana couldn't fight for her. It was her time to fight too.
Sure she was terrified of what could happen when she actually faced her feelings but she did also know that she couldn't live half a life anymore. Not for herself and especially not for Santana.
It was time Brittany S. Pierce made a comeback.
A/N: So if you feel like it review and tell me what you think :) I'm always open for suggestions or constructive criticism.